CODE OF ETHICS AND VALUES OF THE FAMILY

In literal sense the word “Ethics” means character, nature and temperament, and technically it
means the area of study concerned with what is morally good and what is morally bad. Ethics of
a family can be divided into theoretical ethics and political ethics, the “Theoretical ethics” refers
to a specific genre made up of the principles of conduct (suluk). It consists of fundamental
principles and general rules extracted from them. A person is able to follow them in all sorts of
places and different eras, “Practical ethics” on the other side refers to the set of principles of
conduct, through regard for which a person is able to reach his ultimate goal, and attain all
happiness and goodness.

The family is a divine building block of society that can bring so much of joy into our life.
Family refers to a group consisting of parents and their children. Parents are the natural role
models of values to the children. We learned much of our moral code from our parents, who
learned from their parents, and so on through previous generations. Over the time, the meaning
of family has changed quite a bit. Joint Families have converted to nuclear families and the
resistance level has decreased. Family meant Father And Mother is the concept of today’s
generation. Parents these days do not have time to spend with their children and teach them
moral family values. When both the parents are working, family attachments are less. Mostly
children are depend upon their babysitters or their house maids who can take better care of the
children but cannot teach the children about family values and family ethics. So parents need to
take an extra effort to spend time with their children and teach them ethics of family. When
parents have time to teach ethics of family and family values for children, this will improve the
society and make it a better place to live in. The family gives rise to and provides a fertile ground
for sound individuals. Within the family, children are nurtured by their parents who give them
the love and tenderness they need. This phase can last more than fifteen years. As infants,
parents give their children the most tender love and care; as children and adolescents, they instill
in them principles, feelings, and beliefs; and as youths they guide them until they reach maturity.
This mission provides children with the necessary knowledge to protect them from sins, hence
setting them apart from those living beings who do not know their purpose in life. 

Therefore, to develop a generation with better social values, parents need to play a very
important role for the code of ethics and values of the family. The presence of elders in the
family plays the effective role in social and moral development of the children. It also helps
young generation of the family to imbibe human values and eradicate their negative mental
tendencies when they are among elders. There are a few very important family ethics and values
children should know from the very beginning. A few of them are mentioned in this manuscript.

RESPECT AND COURTESY:

Respecting and Loving Elders and Children alike are parts of our courtesy. Courtesy is the use
of polite manners. A courteous person is respectful and considerate of others. Courteous
behavior requires a selfless attitude and can give you perspective on others' situations. When
family values are well defined and reinforced at home, they become a part of who you are and
how you act. Moral values, when intentionally taught and followed at home, can help a family
work together towards common goals.
It is the duty of the parents to tell to their children that if they lack the courtesy it may have
trouble them with their family relationships, friendships and in their occupation too.
Because showing unconcern for others' feelings, a critical attitude and inconsiderate
behaviors creates an atmosphere of tension and frustration. Rude behavior can send a
message to others that you do not accept or appreciate them. But courteous behavior is
directly related to showing respect and honour. When we are courteous, we are not bothered
about the character or qualities or achievements of the individual, but in respect it is these
features that make us respect that individual. So from the childhood itself if we learn to respect
our parents, our ancestors, our guardians, and teachers for their wonderful personalities and
qualities, when we grow up, we gain respect for our friends, our colleagues, our superiors, and
even people that we do not know personally, which helps us to make the society better.
Respect comes from within us as we view the positive aspects and the amazing qualities of other
people. It is these qualities that make us respect them.

KINDNESS TO OTHERS

Kindness is the quality of being gentle, caring, and helpful. It is a very important family values
children should know. It is a behavior marked by ethical characteristics, a pleasant deposition,
and a concern for others. It is known as a virtue, and is recognized as a value in many cultures
and religions. The verse of the holy Quran says “And do good to kinsfolk (relatives), orphans,
the poor, the neighbor who is near of kin, the neighbor who is a stranger, the company by your
side, the wayfarer (you meet) (Holy Quran 4:36)
Parents should teach their children that Kindness and consideration can build your reputation
as a respectable, thoughtful person. When you are a kind person, you are not only helping
others, you are helping yourself, too. This will let them have a feeling of love and affection to all
life around them.
Also the family should care for its neighbors and serve its community, society, and nation, and
the family should treat all people of the world as brothers and sisters, so that their children would
also learn the same. When human dignity is absent in a given society, it is the moral obligation of
the family to convince society that such is needed.

ATTITUDE TOWARDS OTHERS

Being considerate is one among the important family values for children. They should learn to
consider the feelings of other people. Sharing is caring and an important discipline that should
teach to children. This should start from the family itself. Words can either motivate or kill.
When in a family, we tend to care a lot more and tend to look at the weaknesses rather than
strengths. If someone makes a mistake or does something we dislike, then we tend to speak in a
lofty tone which creates stress rather than understanding. It requires practice. First duty of
parents is to mention to their children about the duties of men towards other men (Huquq
al-‘Ibad) which are: to enjoy good and forbid evil, to return the greetings, to visit the sick, to
respond to the sneezer, to accept an invitation, to assist a person in distress, to say nothing but
good about men after death, try to make good relations with parents, brothers, sisters, neighbors,
relatives, Muslims, Non-Muslims, Promote brotherhood, equality, honesty, truthfulness, peace,
love, sympathy, justice etc, Participate in the sorrows and joys of other human beings, and Care
of orphans, poor, needy, widows, slaves and so on.
To refrain from having a negative attitude is code of ethics of a family. The children’s having a
negative attitude is harmful to them and to the people around them. Parents should teach them
that the longer you have a negative outlook on life and yourself, the harder it may be to change
that attitude. But if you are willing to change the way that you view the world and yourself, then
there are several things that you can do. You can start by examining your attitude about the
world and about yourself, then start looking for little ways to improve your outlook, and then
work to correct some of the major problems that you have with the world and with yourself.
Remember that although sometimes you may not be able to change your circumstances but you
can still change how you react to them by adopting one kind of attitude over another. Take
responsibility for your attitude. You have a lot of control over the way you think about the world.
Try to keep that in mind and use it to your advantage. Ultimately, you are responsible for your
attitude and cannot blame how you think on others or on your situation.
Anything that children are being taught at home is what they will eventually give to the society.
This is not only the responsibility of the parents, but also of the grandparents and the teachers
dealing with the children. They should learn to be responsible in any matter that they take up in
life. Learning this will help them face any challenges in their life with confidence.

JUSTICE AND EQUALITY

Code of Ethics plays a pivotal role in promoting justice and equality in the world. Parents need to
encourage their children to take some action to solve anything that they did wrong. It is not
enough just to say sorry. When it comes to family values, children should know that justice takes
an important role. Parents can help teach their children about equality and they can start it just
from the home by giving them the concept of gender equality, the concept of abolishment of
discrimination on various grounds such as class, creed, caste, color, language, nationality,
religion. Children are not born with the thinking that one gender is better and more powerful than
another. They are just born with the thinking that there is no difference between us, so parents
and teachers both should make sure that they are not reinforcing traditional gender roles. They
should always make the children understand that the girls can take out the garbage, and boys can
do dishes.
As we find Islam is the religion of justice and equality and as such gives its followers the right to
absolute and complete equality. The superiority of one man over another is only on the basis of
God-Consciousness, purity of character and high morals, not on the basis of color, race, language
or nationality. There is a verse in Holy Quran which says,
“O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and
tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, the most honorable of you with Allah is that
(believer) who has piety. Verily, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware”. (Holy Quran, Al-Hujrat:
13).
Another verse of the Holy Quran says: “One should enjoy justice, generosity and kind treatment
with relatives”. (Holy Quran 16: 90).
So we have to make our children understand of this that there is no superiority over other human
beings. Nor do the righteous have any special privileges over others. All human beings are equal.
The Prophet of Islam (peace and blessings be upon him) set about to get his companions
familiarized to logical thinking about life in general and ethical behavior in particular. When he
thought sending a companion Muaz ibn Jabal as a representative to Yemen in order to call the
people to Islam and teach them the practices of the religion. he asked, “How will you judge
among them if any legal issue comes up?” to which Muaz ibn Jabal responded, “I will judge
among them according to the dictates of The Book of God.” He then inquired, “And if you do
not find an answer there?” and was told by Muaz, “Then, by the Sunnah of the Messenger of
God shall I judge.” Prophet continued, “And if you should find nothing upon which to base your
judgment in either The Book of God or the Sunnah of His Messenger?” to which Muaz
responded, “I will make my own best judgment, neither shying away from offering it nor using
my authority in offering it to perpetrate injustice.” The Messenger of God (peace be upon him)
then beat upon his chest and exclaimed, “Praise be to God, who has given His Messenger’s
messenger success in pleasing the Messenger of God.” (Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1327).

TOGETHERNESS IN THE FAMILY

The first step towards togetherness in the family is putting the other person first which is a code
of ethics for family. As you are aware the lady of the house does it very well when she first
serves other members of the family. Paying attention towards the children is very important both
when they are speaking and listening. Waggle from time to time to show you understand what is
being said to you (and if you don’t understand, ask). Smile, especially when they do.  And above
all else, really focus and internalize what is being said to you—everyone needs to feel that they
have been heard, even when you can’t give them what they are asking for. Share personal (but
appropriate) stories, talk about your struggles and challenges of life. Show love to your children
which is the basic essence of the family, and is more than a feeling or emotion felt by an
individual, it is an active force that is unconditionally given by the parents to their children and
impacts on them more than anything else. It is a deed, word or even thought of unqualified
goodness, and actual energy that must be given.
We should also learn to put the family member first before external commitment to show we
care. Maybe we do not agree with our parents’ or siblings’ values or we don’t feel that our
family has a clear moral direction. We can still be a positive force in our family because our
actions can profoundly influence the people closest to us. At the same time, be sensitive to the
people you love. Because values are a part of a person’s identity, challenging them can feel like a
personal attack. Look for ways to strengthen and build on common values instead of trying to
change someone’s values that differ from yours. Your values are an important part of your
decision-making process. Keep your family values in mind before making any big life choices.
Make life choices part of a family discussion. Before major changes are made, call a family
meeting to discuss how the potential change line up with your family values. Conversation with
children is a fantastic way to impart ethical standards, and parents need to seize every
opportunity. Young developing minds have an insatiable appetite for knowledge, and a lot of
knowledge that our kids need could be conveyed by appropriate conversation.
We all want to be the best which means we have to always keep doing the best. Everyone lives
for their family. However some things where we can put some effort is having meals together,
spending time together, do outing together. The more time that you spend together, the more
shared experiences you will have as a family. Spending quality time with each other will allow
you to get to know one another better. This will help you figure out what matters most to each of
you individually, and as a family. Schedule a time for the whole family to spend together,
something like devoting a whole Saturday or Sunday to family activities, but all this should be
done with keeping mobile phones away.

KNOWLEDGE AND EDUCATION

Education is acquired through the formal institutions like schools, colleges and universities,
where as knowledge is gained from the real life experiences. With acquired knowledge and
education, the first major benefit is that children become enlightened which gives them an
understanding of the ethics of the family. With the new information that they have gained, they
are now in a better position to understand a certain subject as opposed to their understanding
capacity before. This enlightenment will cause the children to make better decisions, perform
various functions in a better way, and adopt better practices when doing things. Education is not
to prepare children for the professional life only, and to furnish them with a few practical skills
relating to their field of interest. Rather, education is to prepare the children for life, enabling
them to succeed not only in their chosen specialization, but also in life as a whole.
The second benefit of increased knowledge and education is improved standards in terms of
processes and procedures as well as decision making. The third benefit is at the family level, as
one attains knowledge and education, there is an automatic sense of increased self-esteem. This
is because education increases the value of an individual as a resource. An educated individual is
more resourceful as compared to the one who is uneducated. This means that a family with an
educated member is better placed in terms of developing upwards as compared to a family with
no educated member. The more educated people in a family, the higher the standards of living
and better their general health is.
That is why Islam attaches great importance to knowledge and education. When the Quran began
to be revealed, the first word of its first verse was 'Iqra' that is, read. God says, "Read! In the
Name of your Lord Who has created (all that exists). He has created man from a clot (a piece of
thick coagulated blood). Read! And your Lord is the Most Generous. Who has taught (the
writing) by the pen. He has taught man that which he knew not" (Holy Quran, 96: 1-5)
Education is thus the starting point of every human activity. God created man and provided him
with the tools for acquiring knowledge, namely hearing, sight and wisdom. God says in Holy
Quran;
"And Allah has brought you out from the wombs of your mothers while you know nothing. And
He gave you hearing, sight, and hearts that you might give thanks (to God)" (Holy Quran,
16:78).
"And say: `My Lord! Increase me in knowledge" (Holy Quran, 20:114).
Prophet of Islam (Peace and blessings be upon him) said:
“Knowledge from which no benefit is derived is like a treasure out of which nothing is spent in
the cause of God.” (Sunan Tirmidhi: 108)
“God, His angels and all those in Heavens and on Earth, even ants in their hills and fish in the
water, call down blessings on those who instruct others in beneficial knowledge.” (Sunan
Tirmidhi: 422)
“Acquire knowledge and impart it to the people.”(Sunan Tirmidhi: 107)
The impacts of knowledge and education are tremendous on the family in particular and on
modern society in general. And it has value only if we know where to find it, what to do with it,
how to select it and how to integrate it into a system. Moreover, it has been seen that the
educated person is to be a good and responsible human being, which entails all the other life
aspects and activities.
Family life and parent education focuses on healthy family functioning within a family systems
perspective and provides a primarily preventive approach. The skills and knowledge needed for
healthy functioning are widely known: strong communication skills, knowledge of typical human
development, good decision-making skills, positive self-esteem, and healthy interpersonal
relationships. The goal of family life education is to teach and foster this knowledge and these
skills to enable individuals and families to function optimally. Siblings in the family need to
receive the care and education properly to play an effective role in reforming society and
eliminate injustices in the society. Apart from this parents are responsible to educate themselves
to be good parents. Proactively before becoming a parent, individuals should realize what is
needed to be a good parent.
HONESTY AND TRUTHFULNESS

Honesty is one among the very important ethics of family which children must know from the
beginning. Honesty always holds the traits of truth, and as it is said ‘Honesty is the best policy’,
which focuses on traits of morally correct values. Truthfulness defines the characteristic of being
honest and telling the truth. It corresponds to reality and reality is perceived to be the truth. Truth
is pure and cannot have even a minute lie attached with it. Truthfulness can also be defined as
being honest in your words as well as actions. Truth means no lie in whatever situations you are.
Being able to tell the truth in any situation is the point. When learnt at a young age, it will be
carried on even when they are old. It is a very good virtue to have whether in the family or
outside. Telling the truth requires us to sometimes face the anger of the opposite person
especially when we have made a mistake. However telling the truth saves us from many troubles
and keeps the relationship strong.
Provide the children an honest feedback in a gentle and supportive fashion. This will make them
learn how to do things for a family. For example, tell them a person is considered to be an honest
person if he does not steal anything even if it is a small piece of chocolate or cheat anyone. And
anyone can depend on such persons as they will never cheat or betray. If a person does
something that is morally wrong or hides his wrong actions, then it is clear that the person is not
honest. Honest people possess a reputation in the society and this quality is considered as a very
important quality of a human being. An honest person is always appreciated by good people and
is generally rewarded by appreciation. Honesty is going to take you places in life that you never
could have dreamed and it is the easiest thing you can practice in order to be happy, successful
and fulfilled. Honesty is part of the foundation of the core values and ethics of a family. Honesty
cuts through cheating and daggers its way through deception and lies. Honesty leads to a
fulfilling, free life. A truthful person makes his own opinion after seeing or analyzing the things
himself. Truthfulness also builds trust. A truthful person knows how to distinguish between
fantasy and reality. He does not try to exaggerate or impress others. Many times truths are bitter
but still the quality of truthfulness supports truth and is always ready to bear the consequences.
Honesty is not just about telling the truth. It is about being real with yourself and others about
who you are, what you want and what you need to live your most authentic life. Honesty
promotes openness, empowers us and enables us to develop consistency in how we present the
facts. Honesty sharpens our perception and allows us to observe everything around us with clarity.
Tell the truth and keep your promises. Be honest and dependable. These are characteristics we all
can cite as important in our life. No one would have an issue with this ideal being taught to
children.
Almost all the religions guide its followers in every step of their lives. There are various good
manners and excellent morals that all religions teach us and truthfulness is one of them. The
religion Islam has declared it as one key element of a good character. Telling truth and avoiding
lie are two basic characters of a true and faithful Muslim. To speak always truth means to be
faithful, honest and trustworthy person. As a result, everyone in the society will trust such person
and get inspiration from him. Many people will try to follow him, particularly his intimate
friends and companions will also try to become like him and be distinguished in the society. God
ordered the believers to tell the truth and urged them to be among the truthful. HE revealed too
many verses about truthfulness in Holy Quran. He says:
“O you who believe! Be afraid of Allah, and be with those who are true (in words and
deeds).” (Holy Quran 9:119).
“O you who believe! Keep your duty to Allah and fear him, and speak (always) the truth” (Holy
Quran 33:70).
“It is only those who believe not in the Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs,
revelations, etc.) of Allah, who fabricate falsehood, and it is they who are liars.” (Holy Quran
16:105).
Prophet Muhammad (Peace and blessings be upon him) was known as a truthful and honest
person by the Arabs of Makkah even before declaration of his Prophethood and the emergence of
Islam. He emphasized on this great type of conduct and advised all human beings to always
speak the truth. One of his traditions as narrated that the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon
him) said:
“I enjoin you to be truthful, for truthfulness leads to righteousness and righteousness leads to
Paradise. A man may continue to tell the truth and endeavor to be truthful until he is recorded
with Allah as truthful. And beware of lying, for lying leads to wickedness, and wickedness leads
to the Fire. A man may continue to tell lies and endeavor to tell lies, until he is recorded with
Allah as a liar.” (Sahih Muslim 2607)
Therefore remind your children about this ethics all the time whenever they speak. Teach them;
telling the truth is a key for all doors and kinds of goodness that lead to Paradise. It has too many
benefits: It is one of the major and basic necessities of our society, it is one of the excellences of
human attitude, it brings glorious benefits, while lying is one of the basic elements of destruction
and corruption in the community, and it helps individuals attain rewards from God here and
hereafter.

TRUSTWORTHINESS

The importance of being trustworthy is central to many areas of life. Trust is the belief and
confidence in the integrity, reliability and fairness of a person. It is an essential human value that
quantifies and defines our interdependence in relationships with our families and society. Trust is
a choice we make toward someone when we are inspired that they have either earned our
confidence or are by some other means worthy of it. The simplest way to teach your
children the way they can prove their trustworthiness is by keeping their word to
others once it is given.  They should know that this word acts as a sort of promise
that one will or will not do something, and they must always keep these promises in
order to build trust with others. It is difficult to gain, and when broken even harder to
redeem, and the greatest value of trust is not the actions we make with it, but rather what trust
accomplish in us on our quest to become people who are worthy of receiving it. After all, many
people will openly admit that their opinion of other person is largely based on
whether or not that person is able to keep his word. The child’s opinion of his/her
parents can drop considerably if his/her parents consistently break their promises to
him/her, which can create a conflict of emotion regarding the child’s love of his/her
parents and wariness of their words and actions.
Trustworthiness to the good and to the bad is one of the Islamic duties and all Muslims are
required to keep it carefully. God says in Holy Quran:
“But if one of you trusts another, then he who is trusted should deliver his trust, and let him be
careful (of his duty to) Allah, his Lord.” (Holy Quran 2: 283)
“Surely Allah commands you to make over trusts to their owners.” (Holy Quran, 4: 58)
“Successful indeed are the believers (23: 1) ……….... Those who are keepers of their trusts and
their covenant” (Holy Quran, 23: 8)
“Those who respect their trusts and covenants; and those who stand firm in their testimonies; and
those who guard (the sacredness) of their worship; such will be the honored ones in the Gardens
(of Bliss)" (Holy Quran, 70:32-34),
Trust has a very broad sense. It contains an ocean of meaning, but underneath it all is the sense
of responsibility, the sense of having to appear before Almighty God and to account for one’s
actions, the details of which are given in the traditions of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon
him) who said:
“Every one of you is a guardian and everyone will be asked about his subjects. Imam is a
guardian. He will be asked about his subjects. A man is the guardian of the persons in his
household. He is answerable about them. A woman is the guardian of her husband’s house. She
will be asked about her responsibility. The servant is the guardian of the articles of his master.
He is answerable about his responsibility. (Sahih al Bukhari)
“There is no belief for him who is not trustworthy.” (Sunan Abu Dawud).
"Fulfill the trust for the one who entrusted you, and do not cheat the one who cheated you."
(Jami` at-Tirmidhi Book 12 Hadith 1264)
Therefore, trustworthiness helps strengthens relationships with the family and as well as with the
society.

COURAGE AND SUPPORT

Parents need to support and encourage their children to be courageous. This will help the
children to face any difficult situations in future with a lot of courage. Sometimes we have to
stand by our family members in times of their trouble. We all go through fears and insecurities
and sometimes health issues for a long time or sometimes even financial crisis. In such situations
we should be courageous and help each other evolve and face the situations.
When we have the support of parents and others in the family, we have a greater shot at being
successful. We need the emotional support of our family to pursue goals that stretch us.
Emotional support is easier to come by when we have strong relationships with the family, and
the strong relationships are built on respect and belief in our parents as well as in the other
members of the family. Parental love is typically the most unselfish emotion, as most parents are
willing to sacrifice their very lives for their children. Having children is a life-altering experience
and one that typically expands one’s sense of compassion and awareness of other children.  A
parent is to provide a safe and nurturing environment, where the children can experience love,
care, and respect. Such love is necessary for the proper growth of the child and so that the child
can learn to love others. A parent is to provide for the children’s material comfort, including
proper nutrition and shelter, as well as is possible. Treat defining your family values as a family
decision. If your children are a little older, such as teenagers, make sure they feel like they are an
important part of the process. Say things such as, "We value your input. How do you feel about
including education as one of our primary family values?” You can also encourage your kids to
explain their opinions. Try saying, "What do you like about this choice? Why do you think
adding humor as a family value is the best option?" If your children are still pretty young, you
can find other ways to get them involved. Try having them draw a picture of the things they love
about your family. Also parents need to be extra cautious to know the kind of people their
children are dealing with, right from the young age. The family shapes children, and builds
values nourished by guidance, support, encouragement, and so forth. Because of the gravity of
the responsibility entrusted to children, the greater their mission, the more thorough their training
should be. For this reason Islam extends the guardianship over a child until he/she reaches
adulthood and maybe even beyond in certain matters.

PATIENCE AND FORGIVE FREELY

Patience indicates wisdom, broadmindedness, high morality, and great steadfastness; it allows us
to calmly accept burdens and delays that would frustrate most people. It is a comprehensive
virtue in Islam that encompasses perseverance, endurance, forbearance, diligence, and restraint.
It is a characteristic of enlightenment that develops in the heart of a Muslim. In more than
seventy places in the holy Quran, God refers to and praises patience. He promises the patient of
His contentment and liking:
“O you who believe, seek help through patience and prayer. Verily, Allah is with the patient”.
(Holy Quran 2:153)
“Allah loves those who have patience (Holy Quran 3:146).”
It is the duty of the parents to make their children understand that the strength of our gratitude is
tested in difficulties when we have to face a difficult time, and God Almighty wants to see how
patient we truly are when we lose our job or a loved one, or when we feel ill and or get injured.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, 
“How wonderful is the case of a Believer! There is good for him in whatever happens to him
-and none, apart from him, enjoys this blessing.”(Sahih Muslim).
This means after every difficulty there comes an ease and who stay patient and thankful to Allah
in difficult times will get a great reward. In another tradition, The Messenger of Allah (peace and
blessings be upon him) said:
“Whoever would be patient, then Allah will make him patient. There is no gift that is better and
more comprehensive than patience”. (Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1400)
Forgive and Forget is the melody of a stress free life. There are times when due to a habit some
family member would have spoken something bad about you in public which could have been
insulting. We tend to carry the hurt feeling within us even if the person would have realized and
apologized to you.

GRATITUDE

Gratitude involves being thankful of and acknowledging that there are good things in the world
beyond us. Having Gratitude develops the best Attitude. Be Thankful to each other for the
company and the support that each one extends. Doing special things on special occasions is also
a way to be thankful. We should be thankful to God for providing us with a family, and
practicing gratitude at home is good for our physical and mental health, and can improve our
relationships, all of which can help us improve our attitude towards life. The people who practice
gratitude at home feel considerably happier than those in a control group; they are more joyful,
enthusiastic, interested, and determined. An attitude of gratitude helps us succeed. Try these
steps to instill a mind-set of gratitude in your children at home from the beginning.
 Teach them to Say "Thank you." When "thank you" are instilled in our vocabulary at
home, a lifelong practice begins, even if it doesn't stick at first. You can gently restate a
sentence with polite language inserted, or suggest saying "Thank you" together.
 Teach through role play. If your little one is too shy to say "thank you" in a social setting,
they can pretend to teach their stuffed animals or dolls to do so, while you play along.
 Create daily or weekly routines. A regular question, "What are you most thankful for
today?" can serve as a comforting routine at bedtime or a highlight of a weekly dinner
ritual. Give concrete examples at dinner.
 Thank those who serve. Your example of acknowledging those who quietly make a
difference in your life, from the bus driver to the person sweeping up the aftermath of a
family lunch out, sends a powerful message to your children.
 Set an example and show appreciation by conveying you paid attention to real effort:
"Your room looks so nice with the toys in their bins. I am so happy that you remembered
to put them away"
 It is the duty of parents to tell their kids why they are grateful to have them. It goes
without saying that we love our kids, and that we are thankful beyond words for their
love, their smiles, their hugs and so much more. When we tell them what makes them
special to us, their self-esteem is increased for the right reasons (not because they have
 the latest Smartphone or because they are dressed fashionably). Our example shows them
that gratitude extends well beyond material things.
 Ask children to keep a journal and write down a few things each day that they are
thankful for. Write and send a letter of gratitude to someone.
 Teach them to think of your values daily. Take a few minutes every day to check in with
yourself. At the end of each day, you can ask yourself questions. Try thinking, "How did
my actions today relate to Value of family. This will only take a few minutes of your
time, but can be very helpful in keeping your values front and center.
 Helping your own parents should encourage your kids to take up a challenge that will
benefit the whole family.
 Providing real life examples of how to put the moral precept into practice.
 Participating in real life situations which demonstrate how to live morally.
 Use of athletics as a means of developing the spirit of cooperation, tolerance, and unity
among the group.
 Issuing warnings and reminders of the rewards and punishments of the Hereafter.
 Developing in them the attitude of Gratitude towards God Almighty will change their
life.
 As we open the Holy Quran, the first chapter starts with ‘Alhamdulillah’ which is generally
translated as “all praise is for God.” In reality, the word Alhamdulillah signifies gratitude in our
everyday lives. Hence, when someone asks how we are, Muslim often respond with,
“Alhamdulillah.” Similarly, Islam teaches us to be thankful throughout the day: for waking up
from sleep, after eating our meals, drinking water, etc. In this way, one’s entire life revolves
around gratitude to God. Gratitude is also the key to attracting abundance, prosperity, peace and
success in one’s life. Actually adopting the process of gratitude as a way of life will teach us
discipline and brings us closer to God, and hopefully melt us within his heavenly kingdom.
In Holy Quran, God says, “If you are thankful I will add more (favors) unto you but if you show
ingratitude then my punishment is terrible indeed” (Holy Quran 14:7). This verse proves that our
gratitude is beneficial for us alone, and our ingratitude is harmful to us alone. The intelligent
individuals who comprehend this basic teaching of Islam are referred to as those who are wise,
who possess a mature and comprehending intellect.
“Exalt Allah for having guided you and that you may be grateful.” (Holy Qur’an 2: 186)
One will enjoy the blessings of his Lord, thanking his Lord for those blessings and praising Him
for helping him to be among those who give thanks. So always gratitude to Almighty for His
blessings and be humble.
Many other things like Dressing Appropriately, Speaking with Respect, Helping others,
Opportunity, Patriotism, Freedom, Individual rights, Respect for the law, Cooperation,
Commitment to excellence, Creativity and expression, Satisfaction in achievements, Financial
security or stability, Spending philosophy, Productivity, Persistence, Religious Values, Lawful
earning are also the ethics of a good family. After all every person is liked or disliked due to the
manners they display. Having good manners also builds your personality.
CONCLUSION

“When a human being dies, his work comes to an end, except for three things: ongoing charity,
knowledge (people) benefited from, or a pious son who prays for him” (Sahih Muslim).
What do you want your family to be like? How do you wish people would describe you? Twenty
or thirty years from now, what do you hope your children will say about how they grew up and
what they learned from you? A good way to find the answers to these questions is to identify
what you truly value, and then prioritize the values you want to focus on as a family. The
approach of figuring out your values based on what you would like to pass down to your
children. It gives step-by-step instructions for developing your family values lists as well as
examples of values from different categories such as character, relational, spiritual, etc. If you
are married, make sure you and your spouse have the same goals in mind. Remember, if you
cannot clearly define what you stand for, you won’t have clear expectations for your children.
Write down your family values. Look to them when resolving disagreements. Embrace them as a
mission for your family. It too provides sample questions to help you determine your family's
core values. A family is a unit of parents and the children. Social standards and customs defined
by a family provide the emotional and physical basis for a child. Ethics and values developed by
a family are the foundation for how children learn, grow and function in the world. These beliefs,
transmits the way of life a child lives and changes into an individual in a society. These Ethics,
values and morals guide the children and individual every time in his actions. Children turn out
to be a good person because of the value taught and given by his family members. The ideas
passed down from generation to generation make up a family values.  It answers the basic
question of how one want to live the family life. Family ethics and values enhance the character
and turn the children to be good human being. It teaches the individual how to behave and
project himself to the next younger generation and the emotional support adds the importance of
family ethics. Families values helps the child to stand strong on his views despite others efforts
to break through with opposing beliefs. In addition, Beliefs and trusts built around a family helps
the children to be responsible and conscientious adults. A child has a strong sense of what is
right and what is wrong and are less likely to become victims of unusual influences. Children
who are influenced by strong moral values identify them in others quickly which then produces a
new generation with similar beliefs. Family ethics are necessary for the continuation and
cohesiveness of social life, and they contribute towards the progress and flourishing of
civilization. The religions of world are having a proper code of conduct for its followers so that
they may follow it and lead their life accordingly. Like other religions Islam is having its own
code of conduct or moral teachings which are complete and universal because by these moral
teachings God Almighty wants to produce a good and civilized society. Islamic ethics are
distinctive in that they perfect the process of perfection in the fields of work, crafts and
knowledge. Each of these is necessary for a truly happy human life. The importance of the
family stems from its significant role, namely the making of an individual who benefits himself
and others. Living for others is the basic rule of the world. The family likewise does not exist
only for itself. As with other entities, the family is part of a larger whole and makes its own
unique contribution for its community, society, and nation. The contribution of the family to
society is not a one way thing. It can only be effective if the society in return has structures,
norms and values in place to acknowledge the family’s contribution and to challenge the family
to keep contributing.
We are born with nothing, and we go with nothing, but one great thing we can achieve in our
beautiful life is, a little remembrance in someone’s mind and a small place in someone’s heart,
and this is possible only with our ethics, those ethics that are built in our family.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

 Adam Swift, Harry Brighouse ,  “Family Values: The Ethics of Parent-Child

Relationships” Princeton University Press, 41 William Street, Princeton, New Jersey
08540, August 2, 2016
 A. Guillaume: The Life of Muhammad A translation of Muhammad ibn Ishaq ibn Yasār’s
Sirat Rasul Allah ("Life of God's Messenger"), Oxford University Press, 1955.
 Abdullah Yusuf Ali: The Holy Quran, Text, Translation and Commentary, New Revised
Edition Islamic Propagation Centre International, Amana Corperation, America, 1978.
 Ahmad Hussein Sakr, “Family values in Islam” Foundation for Islamic Knowledge; 1st
edition, 1995
 Alain Badiou, “Ethics”, New York: Verso, 2001.
 Ayatullah Husayn Mazaheri, “Islamic Family life Ethics”, World Islamic Network
(WIN), November 11, 2015
 Anshen, Ruth Nanda, ed., The Family: Its Future and Its Destiny”, New York, Harper
and Brothers, 1949.
 Br. Hossein Ali Torkamani edited by Ellen Refai, “Family The Center of Stability”, by
Foundation of Islamic Thought, Tehran, Iran, 1988.
 Becker, L.C.; Becker, C.B., eds., "Islamic Ethics, Encyclopedia of Ethics”, New York:
Routledge, 1992
 Clifford Kirkpatrick, “The Family as Process and Institution”, The Ronald Press Co.,
New York, 2nd edition, 1963.
 Dewey, John. “Theory of the Moral Life”, New York: Holt, 1960
 Diwan Chand Sharma: “The Prophets of the East”, Calcutta, 1935, pp. 12
 Dr.Abroo Aman Andrabi, “Prophet Muhammad (PBUH): The Man and the Message”,
Milli Publications, New Delhi, November 2010.
 Dr. Mohamed Rida Beshir, “Family Leadership, Qawamah: An obligation to Fulfil, Not an
Excuse to Abuse” Ammana Publication.
 Dr. Muhammad ibn Ibraheem Saleh: “Tareekh khulafai Ar-Rashideen, Al-Qaseem, Saudi
Arabia, 14 28 H.
 George P. Smith, “Family Values and the New Society: Dilemmas of the 21st Century”,
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data, 1939
 George Bernard Shaw, “The Genuine Islam”, Singapore, Vol. 1, No. 8, 1936)
 Ibn Katheer: “Stories of the Prophets; from Adam to Muhammad”, (translated by Sayed
Gad, tamir Abu As-suood and Muhammad A. m. Abu Sheishaa, Dar Al Manarah, Egypt,
2001
 Ibn Katheer: “The Miracles of the Prophets”; Dar Al Manarah, Egypt, 2001.
 Ibrahim Amini, “Principles of Marriage & Family Ethics”, Qum,Iran, September 29,
2014.
 Khurshid Ahmad, “Family Life in Islam”, The Islamic Foundation UK.
 Martin Lings: “Muhammad his life based on the earliest sources”, Millat Book Centre,
New Delhi, India,
 Michael H. Hart: “The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History”, New
York, Hart Publishing Company, 1978.
 Montgomery, W: “Muhammad: Prophet and statesman”, New York, Oxford University
Press, 1974.
 Muhammad Asad: “Sahih al bukhari, The Early Years of Islam”, Translated from the
Arabic with explanatory notes and index, the Arafat Publication, Srinagar, Kashmir,
1935.
 Muhammad Asad: “The Message of the Quran”, Dar al Andalus, Gibraltar, Dublin, 1980.
 Muhammad ibn Jarir at – Tabari, “Tarikh ar – Rasul wa’l Muluk”, “The History of the
Messenger and the Kings,” (the Leyden edition).
 P. E. Slater, “Parental Role Differentiation”, American Journal of Sociology, 1961.
 R. Robert, “The Social Laws of the Qoran”, London: Williams and Norgate, Ltd., 1925.
 “Sahih al Bukhari”, (English translation), Darussalam, Saudi Arabia
 ‘Sahih al Muslim”, (English translation), Adam Publishers and Distributors, New Delhi
 Sayyid Saeed Akhtar Rizvi, “The Family Life of Islam”, World Organization for Islamic
Services, Tehran,Iran, 1980.
 Shaikh Safiur-Rahman Mubarakpuri of Jamiah Salafiyah, Banaras (India). “The Sealed
Nectar (Ar-Raheeq Al-Makhtum)”
 “Sirat Ibn Hisham, Biography of the Prophet”, Abridged by Abdus-Salam M Harun, Al-
Falah Foundation, Egypt.
 “Sirat ibn Kathir, Biography of Muhammad”, by Ibn Ishaq, Translated by Ibn Hisham,
Oxford University Press
 “Tafsir Ibn Kathir” (English translation), Darussalam, Saudi Arabia.
 T. Ramadan, “In the footsteps of the Prophet: Lessons from the life of Muhammad”, New
York, Oxford University Press, 2006.
 W F Lofthouse, “Ethics and the Family”, Forgotten Books, September 2015
 Various Internet Sources.

Dr. Abroo Aman Andrabi

Assistant Professor
Department of Islamic Studies
School of Humanities and Social Sciences
Jamia Hamdard, New Delhi, India, 110062