e  

 
 

Table of Contents 
 

About this Guide & Curriculum  3 

Training Timelines  4 

Training Set-Up  5 

Guide to the Activity Guides  6 

Introductions  7 

Group Norms  9 

First Impressions of LGBTQ  11 

Core Vocabulary & Do/Don’t Handout  14 

LGBTQ Umbrella & Genderbread Person  32 

Privilege for Sale & Coming Out  41 

Anonymous Q&A  47 

Fearfully Asked Questions (FAQ)  49 

Scenarios  51 

Wrap-Up & Feedback  61 

Resources  65 

Curriculum 5.0 Edition Information  66 

   

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About this Guide 

We created this guide to help you facilitate Safe Zone trainings. It contains all of the activities, 
instructions, and resources you need to run an introductory LGBTQ/Ally training for your organization, 
campus, or community. We created this specifically for your use! 

Within this guide you will find: 

✔ A detailed outline of each activity of the training; 

✔ Participant sheets and handouts necessary to facilitate the activities; 

✔ Recommended group norms for the training; 

✔ Participant feedback form; and 

✔ Self evaluation/reflection form. 

The key ingredient to a successful Safe Zone training is preparation. This guide should be read 
through, examined, and practiced before the day of the training. Please do not facilitate a training by 
reading this guide verbatim (other than where specified). Instead, we recommend using it as a 
support tool as you facilitate your training.  

We encourage co-facilitation! While there aren’t explicit instructions included, all of the activities can 
be co-facilitated smoothly with practice. 

If you’d like to know more about some of the tools and techniques we use when we facilitate this 
curriculum, check out our book Unlocking the Magic of Facilitation (szp.guide/utmof). 

About this Curriculum 

We wrote this curriculum based on over a decade of experience facilitating Safe Zone trainings, with 
hundreds of workshops, experiments, trials, errors, and feedback. It’s designed to be engaging, 
effective, and fun.  

The activities chosen (and omitted), the suggestions for how to facilitate them, and the order they’re 
in are all intentional. While you can certainly tweak, change, or totally overhaul this curriculum, we 
ask that you do so with care. And consider giving it a shot as is first — it might just work. 

This curriculum is flexible, and the training can be incredibly powerful for participants of all identities, 
ages, educational backgrounds, and attitudes. Facilitate the group you’re with: listen to them, respond 
to their needs, and every activity that follows can be made relevant. 

   

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Training Timelines 
Whenever possible, we recommend at least 3 hours for a Safe Zone training. Following are two 
example timelines for for how you might run this curriculum.  

We know that most people can only do two hours, which is why we generally refer to this resource as 
a “2-Hour Curriculum,” and all the times in the activity headers within this guide reflect that. 

Make it your own 

This curriculum is yours to change, improve, customize, or tailor however you need — the timeline is 
no exception!  

In general, we’d suggest you don’t do shorter than 2 hours, and if you’re doing longer don’t add more 
activities: just give each activity more room to breathe. If you’d like more suggestions, visit 
szp.guide/timelines.  

Unlock the Magic  

Transitions (segues) between activities are a crucial part of the activity introduction, and can help 
move a group forward if they are stuck (or want to keep spending time) on a particular activity.  

Plan your segues beforehand, with a particular phrase/concept/idea that you can pull from the group 
at the end of one activity, that leads seamlessly into the next. For example, the last question in “First 
Impressions” is about change over time; vocab is something that is always changing over time; 
connecting these ideas can be your segue.   

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Training Set-Up 
When we say “Safe Zone,” a big part of what we’re talking about is the training to be a learning 
environment, a space where participants can take risks, be vulnerable, and learn — all in the face of 
of stigmatizing social pressures. The hope is that later, after being trained, participants can then 
create a similar environment for others in their life. The physical set-up of the room is a huge part of 
that. 

Try to get to the training room 30 - 45 minutes early to get everything set up, with some extra time in 
case there are early participants who need your attention, or an unexpected hiccup (e.g., a locked 
door, not enough seats). 

The ideal room: 

✔ Has moveable seats/desks/tables;  

✔ Is big enough to accommodate all the participants in a circle or u-shape, with the facilitator(s) 
at the top (like an umlaut: ü) 

✔ But not too much bigger than that (it gets hard to create a cohesive group or “safe” container) 

Process Steps 
1. Place a printed Participant Packet at each seat you want a participant to use 

2. Distribute extra pens and blank index cards in little piles that are reachable by everyone 

3. Write an intro message (and introduction steps) on the whiteboard / flipchart. Include your 
name, pronouns, and contact information if you want your participants to be able to follow up 
with you after (otherwise leave out contact info) 

4. Prepare any other flipcharts (e.g., the Genderbread diagram) you’ll be using  

Make it your own 

This curriculum doesn’t require powerpoint/projector/screen, and it’s intentionally low-tech. However, 
if you prefer to use A/V (e.g., to play an video during your intro or closing, for FAQ, or for some other 
reason), by all means set that up. 

If you’d like more suggestions, visit szp.guide/setup.  

Notes 
A good room can make a training. A bad room can break it. We know that you won’t always have 
control of the room you’re training in, and sometimes you’ll have to make due with something that’s 
not ideal. Do what you can to find a room that works, or to rearrange your room until it does.   

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Guide to Activity Guides 

How we organize each activity, and what the different headings mean. The terms below the title 
are what we use at TheSafeZoneProject.com to sort activities (szp.guide/activities), in case you want to 
replace an activity with something similar.  

Title 
Activity Type – Knowledge Level – Trust Needed – Time – Activity URL 

Materials   Setup 
What supplies are required.  What setup do you need to do prior to beginning 
the activity.  

Facilitator Framing 
Purpose of the activity and important things for you to know in order to understand the activity. 

Goals & Learning Outcomes 

What you can reasonably hope to accomplish during the activity if facilitated well. 

Process Steps 
The piece-by-piece walkthrough to facilitate the activity (including example talking points). 

Debrief Questions 
Suggested questions (and in some cases sample answers) to make meaning from the activity. 

Wrap-up 
How to purposefully close the activity. 

Make it your own 

Ideas for modifying the activity. 

Unlock the Magic 

Facilitator tools and tips for making the most out of the activity.  

Notes  
Additional information to know or things to look out for in regards to this specific activity.   

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Introductions 
Housekeeping – 101 – Low Trust – 10 mins – szp.guide/intros 

Materials   Setup  
● Whiteboard or sticky flip chart paper  ● Write out what you are asking your 
participants to share so everyone can 
read it 

Facilitator Framing 
● Introductions can be used to create buy-in from participants, get to know who is in the room, 
set the pace/energy for the workshop, etc. Be sure to use your intro time purposefully to 
accomplish the outcomes needed to create a productive learning space.  

Goals & Learning Outcomes 

● For you to know your participant’s names and pronouns. 

● Participants will know your name, pronouns, and other relevant information about your role 
as a facilitator. 

● Participants will understand the general flow of the training.  

● Participants will understand overall goals for the training. 

Process Steps 
1. Introduce yourself and share a short bio about yourself and relevant info to your role facilitating 
the training.  

2. Share the general flow of the training. This maybe longer or provide more context if the group 
isn’t knowledgeable about what the training is about and/or was required to attend. For 
example, “This training is going to take approximately two hours. We are going to be working 
through together a number of activities in order to gain a better understand LGBTQ identities 
and experiences. These activities are going to be reflective, small group, and sometimes large 
group discussions. We’ll take a break in the middle of the workshop so you can use the 
bathroom, send a quick text, etc.”  

3. Tell the group you’ll be having them introduce themselves sharing the information you’ve 
written up on the board/flipchart (e.g., “1. Name, 2. Pronouns, 3. Role/Position/Job, 4. One 
Thing to Learn Today”). 

4. Role model the steps you’re asking them to complete. For example, “Hello! My name is Fred, 
my pronouns are he/him/his, my role here is that I’m your facilitator, and one thing I want to 
learn is how I can best help you connect with LGBTQ identities and experiences.”  

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5. Start with a participant on your left or right, and go around the circle allowing everyone a 
chance to share. 

Make it your own 

The process detailed above of how to do introductions is very simple and effective, feel free to get 
creative with intros by playing games or asking interesting questions of your participants.  

Unlock the Magic 

While participants are doing their introductions, draw a map of the seating arrangements in the room, 
then write down participants name and pronouns (you can use a symbol/shorthand) on your map. 
This will allow you to call on participants by name during the next activity, and learn their names 
more quickly in general.  

Notes 
While we ask people to include pronouns in introductions, we do not encourage facilitators to force 
anyone to share their pronouns. If a participant doesn’t include their pronouns in their introduction 
this maybe an intentional choice, and we suggest you call them by name for the duration of the 
training.  

Introductions are something that can easily eat up a lot of time in your training. We recommend 
spending no more than 10 minutes on introductions in a two or three hour training. If you are doing a 
condensed Safe Zone we recommend doing even shorter intros, possibly just asking participants to 
share their name and pronouns.  

   

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Group Norms 
Housekeeping – 101 – Low Trust – 5 Mins – szp.guide/groupnorms  

Materials  Setup  
● Group norms participant sheet  ● N/A  

Facilitator Framing 
● This activity allows you to set norms and intention for the space. Some educators do group 
generated ground rules or full-value contract, however we have found this facilitation method 
to be the most time efficient and effective way to facilitate group norms and set the tone of a 
productive learning environment.  

Goals & Learning Outcomes 

● Participants will understand and express personal investment in the group norms for the 
training. 

● Participants will connect with why these group norms are important for the dynamic of the 
training.  

Process Steps 
1. Frame the activity. For example, “Before we get any further into the curriculum, we are going 
to take a moment to talk about group norms. The page of group norms is not our expectations 
of you, but things participants tend to ask for from one another. We’d like to hear from you if 
any of these strike a chord.” 

2. Read the first group norm “Be smarter than your phone.” Ask participants if this is important 
to anyone. Follow up with anyone who says it is important and ask them to share with the 
group why it is important to them. After they’ve shared, move onto the next one on the list 
and continue this way until all group norms are covered.  

3. Share any additional context that you would like to as a facilitator for why these group norms 
are important the type of environment that you want to create in the training.  

Wrap-up 
If there is anything additional that you as a facilitator want to say specifically for this group you’re 
working with, this is the best time to do so.   

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Group Norms 
1. Be Smarter than Your Phone 
No matter how good you are at multitasking, we ask you to put away your phone, resist from texting 
and all that jazz. We will take a break and you can send a quick text, snap, tweet, insta, etc. at that 
point. If you are expecting a phone call you cannot miss we will not judge!  

2. Questions, Questions, Questions 

Please feel free to ask questions at any time throughout this training. Unless someone is 
mid-sentence, it is always an appropriate time to ask questions. Even if it isn’t relevant to the topic, 
throw it out there – get it off your mind and on to ours. 

3. Vegas Rule 
Slightly modified! So during the training someone may share something really personal, may ask a 
question, may say something that they wouldn’t want attached to their name outside this space. So 
remember that what is said here stays here and what is learned here leaves here. You’re 
welcome to share anything that we say in this space with others and attach it to our name but we 
respectfully request that you take away the message from others’ shares and not their names. 

4. LOL 
We really appreciate it if, at some point, y’all could laugh! This training is going to be fun, and we’ll do 
…
our best to keep it upbeat, so just know it’s ok to laugh! Laughter indicates that you’re awake, that 
…
you’re paying attention, and that we haven’t killed your soul. So yeah go ahead and do that! 

5. Share the Airtime 

If you are someone who participates often and is really comfortable talking – awesome! Do it. Also we 
ask that you try to remain aware of your participation and after you’ve shared a few times to leave 
…
space for other people to also put their ideas out there. If you usually wait to share jump in! 

6. Reserve the Right to Change Your Mind 

If you say something and then later disagree with yourself, that is a-okay! This is a safe space to say 
something and then later feel differently and change your mind. We even encourage it. As a wise Safe 
Zone participant once said, “Stop, rewind, I changed my mind.”    

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First Impressions of LGBTQ People 

Reflective – 101 – Low Trust – 10 mins – szp.guide/firstimpressions 

Materials  Setup  
● Participant sheet  ● N/A  

Facilitator Framing 
● This activity helps participants ease into thinking about LGBTQ identity, people, and 
experiences from their own perspective.  

● The activity can be effective at contextualizing the importance of the workshop or talking 
openly about these issues (and how often rare that open conversation can be).  

Goals & Learning Outcomes 

● Participants will reflect upon their first impressions with LGBTQ people and identity.  

● Participants will reflect on how their understanding of LGBTQ people and identity has changed 
over their lifetime.  

● Participants will have an opportunity to hear how diverse the group’s experience with LGBTQ 
people and identity are.  

Process Steps 
1. Provide directions for the activity and assure participants that this activity primarily reflective 
and they won’t be asked to share anything they don’t want to. For example, “We are going to 
start with a reflective activity called First Impressions. We’re going to give you a few minutes to 
think on and write some answers to the list of questions on this sheet. These questions are for 
your reflection, we aren’t going to collect your sheets or require you to share anything with the 
group that you don’t want to. If there is any question you’re struggling with skip it and come 
back at the end of the activity. We’ll give you a few minutes here to answer the questions and 
then bring it back to the big group.”   

2. Give participants time to reflect (3-5 minutes).  

3. Move into the debrief questions. 

4. Wrap-up the activity. 

Debrief questions 

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● What was it like to do that activity?  

● Does anyone have something that came up for them while they were answering the questions 
that they would like to share?  

● Does anyone have an experience that was significantly different that they’d be interested in 
sharing? 

● What about question 5, would anyone share how their understanding of these issues have 
changed over time? 

Wrap-up  
Highlight for participants that each of them have likely have shifted their understanding of LGBTQ 
people and identities over the course of their lifetimes and that this workshop may or may not also 
shift their understanding of LGBTQ people and identities.  

Often there is a mention of language or vocabulary that has shifted over the course of someone’s 
exposure to the LGBTQ community and you can call back to this mention in order to create a 
seamless transition into vocabulary.  

Make it your own 

These questions can be modified to focus more specifically on particular identities if you are doing a 
targeted training for example, “What was your first impression or initial conversations around LGBTQ 
identity within a medical environment?”. They can also be modified in a way to focus on a particular 
subpopulation of the LGBTQ community, “What was your first impression of bisexual people?” or, 
“What is something that you are still unlearning about transgender identity?”  

Unlock the Magic  

Be an imperfect role model: this is an activity can be a space where you can share with participants 
your own development and journey. This can help assure participants that you identify with their 
stories or change and development and that they aren’t alone in having unlearn and reconsider what 
they know about gender and sexuality. 

Notes 
While this is a low risk activity, participants sharing about their past (or present) views can expose a 
lot of prejudice. While some prejudice being named isn’t inherently a bad thing, too much is 
unproductive to the learning outcomes. Try to invite shares from participants from a variety of views 
and perspectives. Keeping the debrief on the shorter side and moving through the questions quickly 
does not negatively impact the goals and will help you manage the feelings that may come up for 
folks.   

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First Impressions of LGBTQ People 

Answer the following questions to the best of your ability: 

1. When’s the first time you can remember learning that some people are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or 
queer? 

2. Where did most of the influence of your initial impressions/understanding of lesbian, gay, bisexual, 
and queer people come from? (e.g., family, friends, television, books, news, church) 

3. When’s the first time you can remember learning that some people are transgender? 

4. Where did most of the influence of your initial impressions/understanding of transgender people 
come from? (e.g., family, friends, television, books, news, church) 

5. How have your impressions/understanding of LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and 
queer/questioning) people changed or evolved throughout your life?   

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Core Vocabulary & Do/Don’t Handout 

Large Group – 101 – Low Trust – 20 mins – szp.guide/corevocab 

Materials   Setup  
● Core list participant handout  ● On a flipchart or whiteboard, draw a star 
(or asterisk) with “new word” next to it 
● Do’s/Don’ts handout 
and check mark with “check in” next to it  
● Pens/pencils for participants 

Facilitator Framing 
● The goal of vocabulary isn’t to read definitions for every word, but to allow your participants to 
highlight the words that they are most interested in and to clarify those words. 

● The length of clarification, or of additional information you provide on any word (which is not 
required), will impact the amount of words that participants are able to/will ask about. Longer 
answers = fewer words covered.  

Goals & Learning Outcomes 

● Participants will be able to clarify questions that they have about foundational LGBTQ 
vocabulary.  

● Participants will be on the same page about common terminology that will be used throughout 
the rest of the training. 

● Participants will have a clearer understanding of the importance of language in relation to 
creating affirming environments LGBTQ individuals.  

Process Steps 
1. Frame the activity. For example, “We are going to be diving into vocabulary. Having a common 
understanding of these terms is important as many of them are going to be used throughout 
the workshop. Also vocabulary is often the subject where folks have the most questions or 
misconceptions and we want to make sure to let y’all ask any questions you may have 
regarding language.”   

2. Give participants 1 minute to read through terms, specifying that they only read the boldface 
terms, not the definitions. Tell them to put a star next to new words, and a checkmark next 
to any word they have a question about or want to “check in on.” 

3. Once participants have looked through all the terms, begin with the starred terms on the first 
page. Ask participants, “What is a term you have starred on the first page?” When someone 
names a term, ask that participant if they would read the definition aloud to the group. After 

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reading the definition, check in to make sure the definition is understood. (If you want, you 
can open it up for any additional questions.) 

4. Add tidbits or examples of your own to help contextualize the definitions. (One of our favorite 
is to highlight why the part of speech is important — see Notes section for why.) 

5. Start with the next starred term on that page and repeat. 

6. Advise participants that on the resource page they will find a link to a longer list of terms for 
them to explore on their own.   

Do/Don’t Handout 
This handout is a handy reference guide for your participants. These are words and phrases that are 
often well-intentioned, but cause harm or aren’t received the way the speaker often means for them 
to be. You can simply mention it at the end of the vocab for participants to read later and move on, or 
you can spend 5 minutes working through the handout. 

If you spend some time working through the handout, we recommend the following steps:  

1. Ask your participants to read down the “avoid saying” column. Ask them what questions they 
have about those phrases or words.  

2. Any questions that come up read the “say instead” and the example. Offer any further 
clarification you’d like to add.  

3. Repeat down the list.  

4. Move into wrap-up.  

Wrap-up 
While you are wrapping up vocabulary, let folks know that terminology is going to continue to come 
up throughout the workshop. Participants should feel free to ask/inquire about terms they don’t 
know/understand that any point.  

Unlock the Magic 

Role model imperfection! If you struggled with a term or concept, share that with your group. 

Notes 
Participants only receive the “Core Vocab” pages and the “Do’s and Don’ts” handout. The 
“Comprehensive list” is simply for you (the facilitator’s) reference.  

Vocabulary can go for much longer than 20 minutes. It is important to clarify with your co-facilitator 
(or just prepare yourself) how you are going to decide the amount of time that is appropriate for 
vocabulary in relation to your training (i.e., are you going to let it go long if there’s a ton of 
questions/pressure, or are you cutting it at 20 minutes no matter what?). 

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If the same person keeps volunteering starred/checked terms, ask other participants to read the 
definitions (don’t require one person to read all the definitions). Similarly, if someone volunteers a 
word, but doesn’t feel comfortable reading the definition, ask for another volunteer. 

Parts of speech matter. Using the correct part of speech for certain words is crucial. Some words are 
not affirming when they are used as nouns (queer, gay, transgender). As a general rule, when in 
doubt, adjectives are always safer. They add on an aspect of someone’s identity rather than 
reducing them to a single identity. For example, it feels different when you say, “Meg is a blonde,” vs. 
“Meg is blonde.”  

With identity terminology, no definition is absolute, or applicable to 100% of people who use that 
term to describe themselves. We like to say that we embrace the 51/100 rule, meaning that if we can 
write a definition for a term that 51 out of 100 people who use that label personally would agree with, 
we’re nailing it. With this in mind, know that 49/100 people might disagree — slightly, or severely — 
with any definition your provide. That’s okay! Someone can use a word to mean something different 
from the definition here, and you can provide a definition as an “in other cases” context. 

These definitions and terms change (sometimes quite rapidly), so don’t be alarmed if you haven’t seen 
a term before or have heard a different definition. 

Answers to Common Vocab Questions and Helpful Tidbits 

Following are little nuggets of info for some of the terms in the Core List: 

asexual: 

● Another term used within the asexual community is “ace,” meaning someone who is asexual. 
Or “aro” for someone who is aromantic.  

● Asexuality is different from celibacy in that it is a sexual orientation whereas celibacy is an 
abstaining from a certain action. 

● Not all asexual people are aromantic. 

biological sex: 

● Often seen as a binary, but there are many combinations of chromosomes, hormones, and 
primary/secondary sex characteristics that one might embody, so it’s often more accurate and 
helpful to view this as a spectrum. 

● Is commonly conflated with gender. 

biphobia: 

● Example of bi-invisibility and bi-erasure would be the assumption that any man in a 
relationship with a woman is straight or anyone dating someone of the same gender means 
they are gay. In neither case do we assume anyone could be bisexual. 

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● Important to recognize that many of our “stereotypes” of bisexual people - they’re overly 
sexual, greedy, it’s just a phase - have harmful and stigmatizing effects (and that it is not only 
straight people but also many queer individuals harbor these beliefs too). 

bisexual: 

● Can simply be shortened to “bi.” 

● Many people who recognize the limitations of a binary understanding of gender may still use 
the word bisexual as their sexual orientation label (even if their attractions aren’t limited to 
“men and women”) instead of pansexual. This is often because more people are familiar with 
the term “bisexual,” whereas for a lot of people “pansexual” is new or unknown. 

cisgender: 

● “Cis” is a latin prefix that means “on the same side [as]” or "on this side [of].” 

coming out: 

● A popular misconception is this happens once. Coming out is, however, a continuous, lifelong 
process. Everyday, all the time, one has to evaluate and reevaluate who they are comfortable 
coming out to, if it is safe, and what the consequences might be. 

gay: 

● “Gay” is a word that’s had many different meanings throughout time. In the 12th century is 
meant “happy,” in the 17th century it was more commonly used to mean “immoral” 
(describing a loose and pleasure-seeking person), and by the 19th it meant a female prostitute 
(and a “gay man” was a guy who had sex with female prostitutes a lot). It wasn’t until the 20th 
century that it started to mean what it means today. Interesting, right? 

genderqueer: 

● The “queer” aspect of “genderqueer” is the reclaimed, affirmative, empowering usage of 
“queer.” This is not a slur or derogatory term.  

● As an umbrella term, “genderqueer” shows up in a lot of different ways, many of which have 
their own label. For example, genderqueer might be (2.a) combined aspects of man and 
woman and other identities (bigender, pangender); (2.b) not having a gender or identifying 
with a gender (genderless, agender); (2.c) moving between genders (genderfluid); (2.d) third 
gender or other-gendered 

homophobia: 

● The term can be extended to bisexual and transgender people as well; however, the terms 
biphobia and transphobia are used to emphasize the specific biases against individuals of 
bisexual and transgender communities. 

● May be experienced inwardly by someone who identifies as queer (internalized homophobia). 

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homosexual: 

● Until 1973 “Homosexuality” was classified as a mental disorder in the DSM Diagnostic and 
Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. This is just one of the reasons that there are such 
heavy negative and clinical connotations with this term. 

● There are different connotations to the word homosexual than there are to gay/lesbian 
individuals for both straight and queer people. There was a study done prior to the repeal of 
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell about peoples’ feelings towards open queer service members. When 
asked, “How do you feel about open gay and lesbian service members,” there was about 65% 
support (at the time).” When the question was changed to, “How do you feel about open 
homosexual service members,” the same demographic of people being asked support drops 
~20%. 

intersex: 

● Often seen as a problematic condition when babies or young children are identified as 
intersex, it was for a long term considered an “emergency” and something that doctors moved 
to “fix” right away in a newborn child. There has been increasing advocacy and awareness 
brought to this issue and many individuals advocate that intersex individuals should be 
allowed to remain intersex past infancy and to not treat the condition as an issue or medical 
emergency. 

lesbian: 

● The term lesbian is derived from the name of the Greek island of Lesbos and as such is 
sometimes considered a Eurocentric category that does not necessarily represent the 
identities of Black women and other non-European ethnic groups. 

● While many women use the term lesbian, many women also will describe themselves as gay, 
this is a personal choice. Many prefer the term gay because it is most often used as an 
adjective. 

LGBTQ; GSM; DSG: 

● There is no “correct” initialism or acronym — what is preferred varies by person, region, and 
often evolves over time. 

● The efforts to represent more and more identities led to some folks describe the 
ever-lengthening initialism as “Alphabet Soup,” which was part of the impetus for GSM and 
DSG. 

passing: 

● Passing is a controversial term because it often is focusing on the person who is observing or 
interacting with the individual who is “passing” and puts the power/authority in observer 
rather than giving agency to the individual. 

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● Some people are looking to “pass” or perhaps more accurately be accepted for the identity 
that they feel most aligns with who they are. However, “passing” is not always a positive 
experience. 

● Some individuals experience feeling of being invisible to or a loss of their own community 
when they are perceived to be part of the dominant group. 

● The term “passing” comes from conversations about race (a person of color “passing” as white)  

queer: 

● If a person tells you they are not comfortable with you referring to them as queer, don’t. 
Always respect individual’s preferences when it comes to identity labels, particularly ones with 
troubled histories like this. 

● People often wonder, “Is queer an ingroup term? Can straight people use it?” Our 
recommendation is that folks of any identity can use the word queer as long as they are 
comfortable explaining to others what it means, and why they use it. Because some people 
feel uncomfortable with the word, it is best to be comfortable explaining your usage. 

transgender: 

● Trans with an asterisk (“trans*) is often used in written forms (not spoken) to indicate that you 
are referring to the larger group nature of the term, and specifically including non-binary 
identities, as well as transgender men (transmen) and transgender women (transwomen). 

● Trans people can be straight, gay, bisexual, queer, or any other sexual orientation. Remember: 
this is a gender label, not a sexuality label. 

● Because sexuality labels (e.g., gay, straight, bi) are generally based on the relationship between 
the person's gender and the genders they are attracted to, trans* sexuality can be defined in a 
couple of ways. Some people may choose to identify as straight, gay, bi, lesbian, or pansexual 
(or other labels — using their gender identity as the basis). Some people describe their 
sexuality using other-focused terms like gynesexual, androsexual, or skoliosexual (see full list 
for definitions for these terms.) 

   

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CORE TERMS 
ally /“al-lie”/ – noun : a (typically straight and/or cisgender) person who supports and respects 
members of the LGBTQ community. We consider people to be active allies who take action on in 
support and respect. 

asexual – adj. : experiencing little or no sexual attraction to others and/or a lack of interest in sexual 
relationships/behavior. Asexuality exists on a continuum from people who experience no sexual 
attraction or have any desire for sex, to those who experience low levels, or sexual attraction only 
under specific conditions. Many of these different places on the continuum have their own identity 
labels (see demisexual). Sometimes abbreviated to “ace.” 

biological sex – noun : a medical term used to refer to the chromosomal, hormonal and anatomical 
characteristics that are used to classify an individual as female or male or intersex. Often referred to 
as simply “sex,” “physical sex,” “anatomical sex,” or specifically as “sex assigned at birth.” 

biphobia – noun : a range of negative attitudes (e.g., fear, anger, intolerance, invisibility, resentment, 
erasure, or discomfort) that one may have or express toward bisexual individuals. Biphobia can come 
from and be seen within the LGBTQ community as well as straight society. biphobic – adj. : a word 
used to describe actions, behaviors, or individuals who demonstrate elements of this range of 
negative attitudes toward bisexual people. 

bisexual – 1 noun & adj. : a person who experiences attraction to some men and women. 2 adj. : a 
person who experiences attraction to some people of their gender and another gender. Bisexual 
attraction does not have to be equally split, or indicate a level of interest that is the same across the 
genders an individual may be attracted to. Often used interchangeably with “pansexual”. 

cisgender /“siss-jendur”/ – adj. : a gender description for when someone’s sex assigned at birth and 
gender identity correspond in the expected way (e.g., someone who was assigned male at birth, and 
identifies as a man). A simple way to think about it is if a person is not transgender, they are 
cisgender. The word cisgender can also be shortened to “cis.” 

coming out – 1 noun : the process by which one accepts and/or comes to identify one’s own sexuality 
or gender identity (to “come out” to oneself). 2 verb : the process by which one shares one’s sexuality 
or gender identity with others. 

gay – 1 adj. : experiencing attraction solely (or primarily) to some members of the same gender. Can 
be used to refer to men who are attracted to other men and women who are attracted to women. 2 
adj. : an umbrella term used to refer to the queer community as a whole, or as an individual identity 
label for anyone who is not straight. 

gender expression – noun : the external display of one’s gender, through a combination of clothing, 
grooming, demeanor, social behavior, and other factors, generally made sense of on scales of 
masculinity and femininity. Also referred to as “gender presentation.” 

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gender identity – noun : the internal perception of an one’s gender, and how they label themselves, 
based on how much they align or don’t align with what they understand their options for gender to 
be. Often conflated with biological sex, or sex assigned at birth. 

genderqueer – 1 adj. : a gender identity label often used by people who do not identify with the 
binary of man/woman. 2 adj. : an umbrella term for many gender non-conforming or non-binary 
identities (e.g., agender, bigender, genderfluid). 

heteronormativity – noun : the assumption, in individuals and/or in institutions, that everyone is 
heterosexual and that heterosexuality is superior to all other sexualities. Leads to invisibility and 
stigmatizing of other sexualities: when learning a woman is married, asking her what her husband’s 
name is. Heteronormativity also leads us to assume that only masculine men and feminine women 
are straight. 

homophobia – noun : an umbrella term for a range of negative attitudes (e.g., fear, anger, 
intolerance, resentment, erasure, or discomfort) that one may have toward LGBTQ people. The term 
can also connote a fear, disgust, or dislike of being perceived as LGBTQ. homophobic – adj. : a word 
used to describe actions, behaviors, or individuals who demonstrate elements of this range of 
negative attitudes toward LGBTQ people. 

homosexual – adj. & noun : a person primarily emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to 
members of the same sex/gender. This [medical] term is considered stigmatizing (particularly as a 
noun) due to its history as a category of mental illness, and is discouraged for common use (use gay 
or lesbian instead). 

intersex – adj. : term for a combination of chromosomes, gonads, hormones, internal sex organs, 
and genitals that differs from the two expected patterns of male or female. Formerly known as 
hermaphrodite (or hermaphroditic), but these terms are now outdated and derogatory. 

lesbian – noun & adj. : women who are primarily attracted romantically, erotically, and/or 
emotionally to other women. 

LGBTQ; GSM; DSG – abbr. : shorthand or umbrella terms for all folks who have a non-normative (or 
queer) gender or sexuality, there are many different initialisms people prefer. LGBTQ is Lesbian Gay 
Bisexual Transgender and Queer and/or Questioning (sometimes people at a + at the end in an effort 
to be more inclusive); GSM is Gender and Sexual Minorities; DSG is Diverse Sexualities and Genders. 
Other options include the initialism GLBT or LGBT and the acronym QUILTBAG (Queer [or 
Questioning] Undecided Intersex Lesbian Trans* Bisexual Asexual [or Allied] and Gay [or 
Genderqueer]). 

pansexual – adj. : a person who experiences sexual, romantic, physical, and/or spiritual attraction for 
members of all gender identities/expressions. Often shortened to “pan.” 

passing – 1 adj. & verb : trans* people being accepted as, or able to “pass for,” a member of their 
self-identified gender identity (regardless of sex assigned at birth) without being identified as trans*. 2 
adj. : an LGB/queer individual who is believed to be or perceived as straight. 

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queer – 1 adj. : an umbrella term to describe individuals who don’t identify as straight and/or 
cisgender. 2 noun : a slur used to refer to someone who isn’t straight and/or cisgender. Due to its 
historical use as a derogatory term, and how it is still used as a slur many communities, it is not 
embraced or used by all LGBTQ people. The term “queer” can often be use interchangeably with 
LGBTQ (e.g., “queer people” instead of “LGBTQ people”). 

questioning – verb, adj. : an individual who or time when someone is unsure about or exploring their 
own sexual orientation or gender identity. 

romantic attraction – noun : a capacity that evokes the want to engage in romantically intimate 
behavior (e.g., dating, relationships, marriage), experienced in varying degrees (from little-to-none, to 
intense). Often conflated with sexual attraction, emotional attraction, and/or spiritual attraction. 

sexual attraction – noun : a capacity that evokes the want to engage in sexually intimate behavior 
(e.g., kissing, touching, intercourse), experienced in varying degrees (from little-to-none, to intense). 
Often conflated with romantic attraction, emotional attraction, and/or spiritual attraction. 

sexual orientation – noun : the type of sexual, romantic, emotional/spiritual attraction one has the 
capacity to feel for some others, generally labeled based on the gender relationship between the 
person and the people they are attracted to. Often confused with sexual preference. 

straight – adj. : a person primarily emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to some people 
who are not their same sex/gender. A more colloquial term for the word heterosexual. 

transgender – 1 adj. : a gender description for someone who has transitioned (or is transitioning) 
from living as one gender to another. 2 adj. : an umbrella term for anyone whose sex assigned at birth 
and gender identity do not correspond in the expected way (e.g., someone who was assigned male at 
birth, but does not identify as a man). 

transphobia – noun : the fear of, discrimination against, or hatred of trans* people, the trans* 
community, or gender ambiguity. Transphobia can be seen within the queer community, as well as in 
general society. Transphobic – adj. : a word used to describe an individual who harbors some 
elements of this range of negative attitudes, thoughts, intents, towards trans* people. 

   

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Comprehensive* List of LGBTQ+ Related Vocabulary Definitions 

* This list is neither comprehensive nor inviolable, but a continual work in progress. With identity 
terms, trust the person who is using the term and their definition of it above any dictionary.  

advocate – 1 noun : a person who actively works to end intolerance, educate others, and support 
social equity for a marginalized group. 2 verb : to actively support or plea in favor of a particular 
cause, the action of working to end intolerance or educate others. 

agender – adj. : a person with no (or very little) connection to the traditional system of gender, no 
personal alignment with the concepts of either man or woman, and/or someone who sees themselves 
as existing without gender. Sometimes called gender neutrois, gender neutral, or genderless. 

ally /“al-lie”/ – noun : a (typically straight and/or cisgender) person who supports and respects 
members of the LGBTQ community. We consider people to be active allies who take action on in 
support and respect. 

androgyny /“an-jrah-jun-ee”/ (androgynous) – 1 noun. : a gender expression that has elements of 
both masculinity and femininity; 2 adj. : occasionally used in place of “intersex” to describe a person 
with both female and male anatomy, generally in the form “androgyne." 

androsexual / androphilic – adj. : being primarily sexually, romantically and/or emotionally attracted 
to men, males, and/or masculinity. 

aromantic /”ay-ro-man-tic”/ – adj. : experiencing little or no romantic attraction to others and/or has 
a lack of interest in romantic relationships/behavior. Aromanticism exists on a continuum from 
people who experience no romantic attraction or have any desire for romantic activities, to those who 
experience low levels, or romantic attraction only under specific conditions. Many of these different 
places on the continuum have their own identity labels (see demiromantic). Sometimes abbreviated 
to “aro” (pronounced like “arrow”). 

asexual – adj. : experiencing little or no sexual attraction to others and/or a lack of interest in sexual 
relationships/behavior. Asexuality exists on a continuum from people who experience no sexual 
attraction or have any desire for sex, to those who experience low levels, or sexual attraction only 
under specific conditions. Many of these different places on the continuum have their own identity 
labels (see demisexual). Sometimes abbreviated to “ace.” 

bicurious – adj. : a curiosity toward experiencing attraction to people of the same gender/sex (similar 
to questioning). 

bigender – adj. : a person who fluctuates between traditionally “woman” and “man” gender-based 
behavior and identities, identifying with both genders (or sometimes identifying with either man or 
woman, as well as a third, different gender). 

binder - noun : an undergarment used to alter or reduce the appearance of one’s breasts (worn 
similarly to how one wears a sports bra). binding - adj. : the (sometimes daily) process of wearing a 

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binder. Binding is often used to change the way other’s read/perceive one’s anatomical sex 
characteristics, and/or as a form of gender expression.  

biological sex – noun : a medical term used to refer to the chromosomal, hormonal and anatomical 
characteristics that are used to classify an individual as female or male or intersex. Often referred to 
as simply “sex,” “physical sex,” “anatomical sex,” or specifically as “sex assigned at birth.” 

biphobia – noun : a range of negative attitudes (e.g., fear, anger, intolerance, invisibility, resentment, 
erasure, or discomfort) that one may have or express toward bisexual individuals. Biphobia can come 
from and be seen within the LGBTQ community as well as straight society. biphobic – adj. : a word 
used to describe actions, behaviors, or individuals who demonstrate elements of this range of 
negative attitudes toward bisexual people. 

bisexual – 1 noun & adj. : a person who experiences attraction to some men and women. 2 adj. : a 
person who experiences attraction to some people of their gender and another gender. Bisexual 
attraction does not have to be equally split, or indicate a level of interest that is the same across the 
genders an individual may be attracted to. Often used interchangeably with “pansexual”. 

butch – noun & adj. : a person who identifies themselves as masculine, whether it be physically, 
mentally, or emotionally. ‘Butch’ is sometimes used as a derogatory term for lesbians, but is also be 
claimed as an affirmative identity label. 

cisgender /“siss-jendur”/ – adj. : a gender description for when someone’s sex assigned at birth and 
gender identity correspond in the expected way (e.g., someone who was assigned male at birth, and 
identifies as a man). A simple way to think about it is if a person is not transgender, they are 
cisgender. The word cisgender can also be shortened to “cis.” 

cisnormativity – noun : the assumption, in individuals and in institutions, that everyone is cisgender, 
and that cisgender identities are superior to trans* identities and people. Leads to invisibility of 
non-cisgender identities. 

cissexism – noun : behavior that grants preferential treatment to cisgender people, reinforces the 
idea that being cisgender is somehow better or more “right” than being transgender, and/or makes 
other genders invisible. 

closeted – adj. : an individual who is not open to themselves or others about their (queer) sexuality or 
gender identity. This may be by choice and/or for other reasons such as fear for one’s safety, peer or 
family rejection, or disapproval and/or loss of housing, job, etc. Also known as being “in the closet.” 
When someone chooses to break this silence they “come out” of the closet. (See coming out) 

coming out – 1 noun : the process by which one accepts and/or comes to identify one’s own sexuality 
or gender identity (to “come out” to oneself). 2 verb : the process by which one shares one’s sexuality 
or gender identity with others. 

constellation – noun : a way to describe the arrangement or structure of a polyamorous relationship. 

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cross-dresser – noun : someone who wears clothes of another gender/sex. 

demiromantic – adj. : little or no capacity to experience romantic attraction until a strong sexual 
connection is formed with someone, often within a sexual relationship. 

demisexual – adj. : little or no capacity to experience sexual attraction until a strong romantic 
connection is formed with someone, often within a romantic relationship. 

down low – adj. : typically referring to men who identify as straight but who secretly have sex with 
men. Down low (or DL) originated in, and is most commonly used by, communities of color. 

drag king – noun : someone who performs (hyper-) masculinity theatrically. 

drag queen – noun : someone who performs (hyper-) femininity theatrically. 

dyke – noun : referring to a masculine presenting lesbian. While often used derogatorily, it is also 
reclaimed affirmatively by some lesbians and gay women as a positive self identity term. 

emotional attraction – noun : a capacity that evokes the want to engage in emotionally intimate 
behavior (e.g., sharing, confiding, trusting, inter-depending), experienced in varying degrees (from 
little-to-none to intense). Often conflated with sexual attraction, romantic attraction, and/or spiritual 
attraction. 

fag(got) – noun : derogatory term referring to a gay person, or someone perceived as queer. While 
often used derogatorily, it is also used reclaimed by some gay people (often gay men) as a positive 
in-group term. 

feminine-of-center; masculine-of-center – adj. : a phrase that indicates a range in terms of gender 

identity and expression for people who present, understand themselves, and/or relate to others in a 
generally more feminine/masculine way, but don’t necessarily identify as women or men. 
Feminine-of-center individuals may also identify as “femme,” “submissive,” “transfeminine,” etc.; 
masculine-of-center individuals may also often identify as “butch,” “stud,” “aggressive,” “boi,” 
“transmasculine,” etc. 

feminine-presenting; masculine-presenting – adj. : a way to describe someone who expresses 

gender in a more feminine/masculine way. Often confused with 
feminine-of-center/masculine-of-center, which generally include a focus on identity as well as 
expression. 

femme – noun & adj. : someone who identifies themselves as feminine, whether it be physically, 
mentally or emotionally. Often used to refer to a feminine-presenting queer woman or people. 

fluid(ity) – adj. : generally with another term attached, like gender-fluid or fluid-sexuality, fluid(ity) 
describes an identity that may change or shift over time between or within the mix of the options 
available (e.g., man and woman, bi and straight). 

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FtM / F2M; MtF / M2F – abbr. : female-to-male transgender or transsexual person; male-to-female 
transgender or transsexual person. 

gay – 1 adj. : experiencing attraction solely (or primarily) to some members of the same gender. Can 
be used to refer to men who are attracted to other men and women who are attracted to women. 2 
adj. : an umbrella term used to refer to the queer community as a whole, or as an individual identity 
label for anyone who is not straight. 

gender binary – noun : the idea that there are only two genders and that every person is one of 
those two. 

gender expression – noun : the external display of one’s gender, through a combination of clothing, 
grooming, demeanor, social behavior, and other factors, generally made sense of on scales of 
masculinity and femininity. Also referred to as “gender presentation.” 

gender fluid – adj. : a gender identity best described as a dynamic mix of boy and girl. A person who 
is gender fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel more man some 
days, and more woman other days. 

gender identity – noun : the internal perception of an one’s gender, and how they label themselves, 
based on how much they align or don’t align with what they understand their options for gender to 
be. Often conflated with biological sex, or sex assigned at birth. 

gender neutrois – adj. : see agender. 

gender non-conforming – 1 adj. : a gender expression descriptor that indicates a non-traditional 

gender presentation (masculine woman or feminine man). 2 adj. : a gender identity label that 
indicates a person who identifies outside of the gender binary. Often abbreviated as “GNC.” 

gender normative / gender straight – adj. : someone whose gender presentation, whether by 
nature or by choice, aligns with society’s gender-based expectations. 

genderqueer – 1 adj. : a gender identity label often used by people who do not identify with the 
binary of man/woman. 2 adj. : an umbrella term for many gender non-conforming or non-binary 
identities (e.g., agender, bigender, genderfluid). 

gender variant – adj. : someone who either by nature or by choice does not conform to 
gender-based expectations of society (e.g. transgender, transsexual, intersex, genderqueer, 
cross-dresser, etc). 

gynesexual / gynephilic /“guy-nuh-seks-shu-uhl”/ – adj. : being primarily sexually, romantically 

and/or emotionally attracted to woman, females, and/or femininity. 

hermaphrodite – noun : an outdated medical term previously used to refer to someone who was 
born with some combination of typically-male and typically-female sex characteristics. It’s considered 
stigmatizing and inaccurate. See intersex.  

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heteronormativity – noun : the assumption, in individuals and/or in institutions, that everyone is 
heterosexual and that heterosexuality is superior to all other sexualities. Leads to invisibility and 
stigmatizing of other sexualities: when learning a woman is married, asking her what her husband’s 
name is. Heteronormativity also leads us to assume that only masculine men and feminine women 
are straight. 

heterosexism – noun : behavior that grants preferential treatment to heterosexual people, reinforces 
the idea that heterosexuality is somehow better or more “right” than queerness, and/or makes other 
sexualities invisible. 

heterosexual/straight – adj. : experiencing attraction solely (or primarily) to some members of a 

different gender.  

homophobia – noun : an umbrella term for a range of negative attitudes (e.g., fear, anger, 
intolerance, resentment, erasure, or discomfort) that one may have toward LGBTQ people. The term 
can also connote a fear, disgust, or dislike of being perceived as LGBTQ. homophobic – adj. : a word 
used to describe actions, behaviors, or individuals who demonstrate elements of this range of 
negative attitudes toward LGBTQ people. 

homosexual – adj. & noun : a person primarily emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to 
members of the same sex/gender. This [medical] term is considered stigmatizing (particularly as a 
noun) due to its history as a category of mental illness, and is discouraged for common use (use gay 
or lesbian instead). 

intersex – adj. : term for a combination of chromosomes, gonads, hormones, internal sex organs, 
and genitals that differs from the two expected patterns of male or female. Formerly known as 
hermaphrodite (or hermaphroditic), but these terms are now outdated and derogatory. 

lesbian – noun & adj. : women who are primarily attracted romantically, erotically, and/or 
emotionally to other women. 

LGBTQ; GSM; DSG – abbr. : shorthand or umbrella terms for all folks who have a non-normative (or 
queer) gender or sexuality, there are many different initialisms people prefer. LGBTQ is Lesbian Gay 
Bisexual Transgender and Queer and/or Questioning (sometimes people at a + at the end in an effort 
to be more inclusive); GSM is Gender and Sexual Minorities; DSG is Diverse Sexualities and Genders. 
Other options include the initialism GLBT or LGBT and the acronym QUILTBAG (Queer [or 
Questioning] Undecided Intersex Lesbian Trans* Bisexual Asexual [or Allied] and Gay [or 
Genderqueer]). 

lipstick lesbian – noun : Usually refers to a lesbian with a feminine gender expression. Can be used 
in a positive or a derogatory way. Is sometimes also used to refer to a lesbian who is assumed to be 
(or passes for) straight. 

metrosexual – adj. : a man with a strong aesthetic sense who spends more time, energy, or money 
on his appearance and grooming than is considered gender normative. 

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MSM / WSW – abbr. : men who have sex with men or women who have sex with women, to 
distinguish sexual behaviors from sexual identities: because a man is straight, it doesn’t mean he’s not 
having sex with men. Often used in the field of HIV/Aids education, prevention, and treatment. 

Mx. / “mix” or “schwa” / - noun : an honorific (e.g. Mr., Ms., Mrs., etc.) that is gender neutral. It is 
often the option of choice for folks who do not identify within the gender binary: Mx. Smith is a great 
teacher. 

outing – verb : involuntary or unwanted disclosure of another person’s sexual orientation, gender 
identity, or intersex status. 

pansexual – adj. : a person who experiences sexual, romantic, physical, and/or spiritual attraction for 
members of all gender identities/expressions. Often shortened to “pan.” 

passing – 1 adj. & verb : trans* people being accepted as, or able to “pass for,” a member of their 
self-identified gender identity (regardless of sex assigned at birth) without being identified as trans*. 2 
adj. : an LGB/queer individual who is believed to be or perceived as straight. 

PGPs – abbr. : preferred gender pronouns. Often used during introductions, becoming more common 
as a standard practice. Many suggest removing the “preferred,” because it indicates flexibility and/or 
the power for the speaker to decide which pronouns to use for someone else. 

polyamory (polyamorous) – noun : refers to the practice of, desire for, or orientation toward having 
ethical, honest, and consensual non-monogamous relationships (i.e. relationships that may include 
multiple partners). Often shortened to “poly.” 

queer – 1 adj. : an umbrella term to describe individuals who don’t identify as straight and/or 
cisgender. 2 noun : a slur used to refer to someone who isn’t straight and/or cisgender. Due to its 
historical use as a derogatory term, and how it is still used as a slur many communities, it is not 
embraced or used by all LGBTQ people. The term “queer” can often be use interchangeably with 
LGBTQ (e.g., “queer people” instead of “LGBTQ people”). 

questioning – verb, adj. : an individual who or time when someone is unsure about or exploring their 
own sexual orientation or gender identity. 

QPOC / QTPOC – abbr. : initialisms that stand for queer people of color and queer and/or trans 
people of color. 

romantic attraction – noun : a capacity that evokes the want to engage in romantic intimate 
behavior (e.g., dating, relationships, marriage), experienced in varying degrees (from little-to-none, to 
intense). Often conflated with sexual attraction, emotional attraction, and/or spiritual attraction. 

same gender loving (SGL) – adj. : sometimes used by some members of the African-American or 
Black community to express an non-straight sexual orientation without relying on terms and symbols 
of European descent. 

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sex assigned at birth (SAAB) – abbr. : a phrase used to intentionally recognize a person’s assigned 
sex (not gender identity). Sometimes called “designated sex at birth” (DSAB) or “sex coercively 
assigned at birth” (SCAB), or specifically used as “assigned male at birth” (AMAB) or “assigned female 
at birth” (AFAB): Jenny was assigned male at birth, but identifies as a woman. 

sexual attraction – noun : a capacity that evokes the want to engage in physically intimate behavior 
(e.g., kissing, touching, intercourse), experienced in varying degrees (from little-to-none, to intense). 
Often conflated with romantic attraction, emotional attraction, and/or spiritual attraction. 

sexual orientation – noun : the type of sexual, romantic, emotional/spiritual attraction one has the 
capacity to feel for some others, generally labeled based on the gender relationship between the 
person and the people they are attracted to. Often confused with sexual preference. 

sexual preference – noun : the types of sexual intercourse, stimulation, and gratification one likes to 
receive and participate in. Generally when this term is used, it is being mistakenly interchanged with 
“sexual orientation,” creating an illusion that one has a choice (or “preference”) in who they are 
attracted to. 

sex reassignment surgery (SRS) – noun : used by some medical professionals to refer to a group of 
surgical options that alter a person’s biological sex. “Gender confirmation surgery” is considered by 
many to be a more affirming term. In most cases, one or multiple surgeries are required to achieve 
legal recognition of gender variance. Some refer to different surgical procedures as “top” surgery and 
“bottom” surgery to discuss what type of surgery they are having without having to be more explicit. 

skoliosexual – adj. : being primarily sexually, romantically and/or emotionally attracted to some 
genderqueer, transgender, transsexual, and/or non-binary people. 

spiritual attraction – noun : a capacity that evokes the want to engage in intimate behavior based on 
one’s experience with, interpretation of, or belief in the supernatural (e.g., religious teachings, 
messages from a deity), experienced in varying degrees (from little-to-none, to intense). Often 
conflated with sexual attraction, romantic attraction, and/or emotional attraction. 

stealth – adj. : a trans person who is not “out” as trans, and is perceived/known by others as 
cisgender. 

straight – adj. : a person primarily emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to some people 
who are not their same sex/gender. A more colloquial term for the word heterosexual. 

stud – noun : most commonly used to indicate a Black/African-American and/or Latina masculine 
lesbian/queer woman. Also known as ‘butch’ or ‘aggressive’. 

third gender – noun : for a person who does not identify with either man or woman, but identifies 
with another gender. This gender category is used by societies that recognise three or more genders, 
both contemporary and historic, and is also a conceptual term meaning different things to different 
people who use it, as a way to move beyond the gender binary. 

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top surgery – noun : this term refers to surgery for the construction of a male-type chest or breast 
augmentation for a female-type chest. 

trans* – adj. : an umbrella term covering a range of identities that transgress socially-defined gender 
norms. Trans with an asterisk is often used in written forms (not spoken) to indicate that you are 
referring to the larger group nature of the term, and specifically including non-binary identities, as 
well as transgender men (transmen) and transgender women (transwomen). 

transgender – 1 adj. : a gender description for someone who has transitioned (or is transitioning) 
from living as one gender to another. 2 adj. : an umbrella term for anyone whose sex assigned at birth 
and gender identity do not correspond in the expected way (e.g., someone who was assigned male at 
birth, but does not identify as a man). 

transition / transitioning – noun, verb : referring to the process of a transgender person changing 
aspects of themself (e.g., their appearance, name, pronouns, or making physical changes to their 
body) to be more congruent with the gender they know themself to be (as opposed to the gender they 
lived as pre-transitioning). 

transman; transwoman – noun : An identity label sometimes adopted by female-to-male 

transgender people or transsexuals to signify that they are men while still affirming their history as 
assigned female sex at birth. (sometimes referred to as transguy) 2 Identity label sometimes adopted 
by male-to-female transsexuals or transgender people to signify that they are women while still 
affirming their history as assigned male sex at birth. 

transphobia – noun : the fear of, discrimination against, or hatred of trans* people, the trans* 
community, or gender ambiguity. Transphobia can be seen within the queer community, as well as in 
general society. Transphobic – adj. : a word used to describe an individual who harbors some 
elements of this range of negative attitudes, thoughts, intents, towards trans* people. 

transsexual – noun and adj. a person who identifies psychologically as a gender/sex other than the 
one to which they were assigned at birth. Transsexuals often wish to transform their bodies 
hormonally and surgically to match their inner sense of gender/sex. 

transvestite – noun : a person who dresses as the binary opposite gender expression 
(“cross-dresses”) for any one of many reasons, including relaxation, fun, and sexual gratification (often 
called a “cross-dresser,” and should not be confused with transsexual). 

two-spirit – noun : is an umbrella term traditionally within Native American communities to 
recognize individuals who possess qualities or fulfill roles of both genders. 

ze / zir / “zee”, “zerr” or “zeer”/ – alternate pronouns that are gender neutral and preferred by some 
trans* people. They replace “he” and “she” and “his” and “hers” respectively. Alternatively some 
people who are not comfortable/do not embrace he/she use the plural pronoun “they/their” as a 
gender neutral singular pronoun.  

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LGBTQ-INCLUSIVE LANGUAGE DOs and DON’Ts  

AVOID SAYING...  SAY INSTEAD...  WHY?  EXAMPLE 

Hermaphrodite is a stigmatizing,  "What are the best practices for 
"Hermaphrodite"  "Intersex"  inaccurate word with a negative  the medical care of intersex 
medical history.  infants?" 

"Homosexual" often connotes a  "We want to do a better job of 

"Homosexual"  "Gay"  medical diagnosis, or a discomfort  being inclusive of our gay 
with gay/lesbian people.  employees." 

"Assigned" language accurately 

"Born female" or 
depicts the situation of what 
"Born male" 
happens at birth 
"Max was assigned female at 
"Assigned 
"-bodied" language is often  birth, then he transitioned in 
female/male at birth" 
"Female-bodied" or  interpreted as as pressure to  high school." 
"Male-bodied"  medically transition, or invalidation 
of one's gender identity 

"A gay" or "a  "A gay/transgender  Gay and transgender are adjectives  "We had a transgender athlete 
transgender"  person"  that describe a person/group  in our league this year. " 

Saying "normal" implies "abnormal,"  "This group is open to both 

"Transgender people  "Transgender people 
which is a stigmatizing way to refer  transgender and cisgender 
and normal people"  and cisgender people" 
to a person.  people." 

"Both" implies there are only two;  "Video games aren't just a boy 
"Both genders" or 
"All genders"  "Opposite" reinforces antagonism  thing -- kids of all genders play 
"Opposite sexes" 
amongst genders  them." 

Moving away from binary language is 

"Ladies and  "Everyone," "Folks,"  "Good morning everyone, next 
more inclusive of people of all 
gentlemen"  "Honored guests," etc  stop Picadilly Station." 
genders 
"Mail clerk," 
"Mailman," "fireman,"  "I actually saw a firefighter 
"Firefighter," "Police  People of all genders do these jobs 
"policeman," etc.  rescue a cat from a tree." 
officer," etc. 
"It" when referring to 
someone (e.g., when  "It" is for referring to things, not  "You know, I am not sure how 
"They" 
pronouns are  people.  they identify." 
unknown) 

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LGBTQ Umbrella  
Lecture – 101 – Low Trust – 2 mins – szp.guide/umbrella 

Materials  Setup  
● Facilitator guide and participant handouts  ● N/A 

Facilitator Framing 
● This is the most lecture-heavy part of Safe Zone curriculum. If you are going to use the sample 
lectures give it a read a few times before doing it so that you can know the flow and general 
sense of it before facilitating.  

Goals & Learning Outcomes 

● Participants will be able to understand that there is a difference between gender and sexuality.  

● Participants will be able to identify the difference between the L, G, B, Q, and the T of LGBTQ.  

Process Steps 
1. Frame the activity. For example, “We are going to move now from talking about vocab to 
talking about some frameworks and ways to make sense of a lot of that vocabulary. First we 
are going to start with the LGBTQ umbrella handout. This handout helps us make some sense 
of the LGBTQ acronym.”   

2. Quickly explain the letters, the idea of the queer umbrella, and the distinction between 
sexualities and genders. You can do this by reading the handout aloud, or using the example 
lecture below. 

3. Wrap-up the activity. 

LGBTQ Umbrella Example Lecture 

If you could all turn to the page with the umbrella image on it, we want to explain what the LGBTQ 
letters represent, how they refer to different identities, and why we often use the phrase “umbrella 
term.” When we discuss “LGBTQ” people, one thing we generally forget to make clear what, exactly, 
those letters mean. For example, there is no such thing as an “LGBTQ” person. Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, 
Transgender, and Queer are all different labels, representing different identities. Importantly, they are 
words that relate to folks’ experiences of gender and sexual identities -- two things we often confuse 
for being one and the same. 

LGB all represent sexual identities. And the T represents a gender identity. And the Q — sometimes 
referring to “Questioning,” but generally meaning “Queer” — is often used as an umbrella term, in an 
affirming and positive way, to lump all marginalized sexualities and genders together.  

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We’d like to draw your attention to the umbrella handle itself, because while these identities are all 
often grouped together, we’re talking about distinctly different aspects of our humanity and 
experience: sexuality and gender. 

When we say sexual identities, sexualities, or sexual orientations, we are talking about are the ways 
we categorize and define who we are attracted to. When we “gender identities” we are talking about 
the ways we categorize and define our genders.  

So, to recap: on one side we have queer sexualities (Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual, to name a few), and 
on the other we have queer genders (Transgender, to name one), and we often group all of these 
under the umbrella term of “queer.” 

   

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LGBTQ Umbrella Handout 

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Genderbread Person 
Lecture + Guided Discussion – 101 – Low Trust – 13 mins – szp.guide/genderbread 

Materials  Setup  
● Whiteboard or easel/paper and markers   ● (suggested) Draw the Genderbread 
Person on the whiteboard or flipchart 
● Facilitator guide and participant handouts 
paper and have the continuums with the 
● Pens/pencils  blanks drawn as well.  

Facilitator Framing 
● This is the most lecture-heavy part of Safe Zone curriculum. If you are going to use the sample 
lecture give it a read a few times before doing it so that you can know the flow and general 
sense of it before facilitating.  

Goals & Learning Outcomes 

● Participants will be able to understand that there is a difference between gender and sexuality.  

● Participants will be able to describe the difference between biological sex, gender identity, 
gender expression, and attraction.  

● Participants will know at least one reason it is helpful and important to recognize these 
different components within gender. 

Process Steps 
1. Frame the activity. For example, “When we talk about ‘LGBTQ’ we’re talking about a lot of 
sexualities and genders. For the next few minutes, we’re going to focus in on gender itself. This 
graphic is called the Genderbread Person, and will help us better understand what we mean 
when we say ‘gender,’ and all the different ways it shows up in our lives.”   

2. Work through the genderbread person, first filling in the blanks and defining terms, then 
making the different components of gender salient — either by having participants reflect for 
themselves (see our example lecture), or by working through hypothetical examples. 

3. Open up the space for questions about the models. 

4. Wrap-up the activity.  

Genderbread Person Example Lecture + Guided Discussion 

Moving into the next handout, the genderbread person is a diagram that helps us understand 
gender and sexuality, and the parts that make up both. This model is meant to accurately depict the 
complexity of how these concepts show up in our society; it is not a depiction of what dream society 

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could be. We’re going to start with the top half of the sheet, so we encourage you to fold the paper 
in half. 

To begin, let’s fill in the blanks and name the different parts of the genderbread person.  

On the first line, pointing to the brain, we can write “Identity.” Gender identity is who we, in our 
heads, know ourselves to be, based on what we understand to be the options for gender, and how 
much we align (or don’t align) with one of those options. Gender identity is our psychological sense of 
gender. 

On the line below that, pointing to the heart, we can write “Attraction.” Attraction is the different ways 
we feel pulled to other people, often categorized based on our gender and the gender of those we 
feel drawn to. This categorization is referred to as sexual orientation. 

On the bottom line on the right, we’ll write “Sex.” Sex, here referring to anatomical sex, refers to the 
physical makeup of our bodies, and specifically all the body parts we’ve named as sex characteristics 
-- both the primary traits we’re born with, and the secondary that we might develop later in life.  

On the left we have a line pointing to the entire diagram. On this line we can write “Expression.” 
Gender expression is all the different ways we present ourselves through our actions, our clothing, 
and our demeanor, and the gendered ways those presentations are socially interpreted. 

Does anyone have any questions about those terms, or their definitions? 

Let’s now unfold our paper and move on to the bottom half. 

Here you’ll see some scales and blank spaces. These are not fancy arrows. You can think of each of 
these as one-way continuums, or scales, depicting how the different components above may show up 
for us. For some people, it’s helpful to imagine a 0% on the left, and a 100% on the right.  

Again, we’re going to start by filling in the blanks. 

With gender identity, people often think of social roles, gender norms, and personality traits, and the 
expectations baked into these things. In the top blank, we can write “Woman” and in the bottom blank 
we can write “Man”, and we’re going to add a “-ness” to both of these, because these lines indicate all 
the varying degrees of potential “Woman-ness” and/or “Man-ness” with which someone might 
identify. 

With gender expression, people often think of hair styles, grooming, make-up, clothing, nonverbal 
mannerisms, and other things we see on the outside. We’ll write “Femininity” in the top line and 
“Masculinity” in the bottom line, as these are the two words that people generally use to describe the 
different ways our expressions show up. 

And with anatomical sex, the first things that people think of are genitals and reproductive organs, but 
lots of things make up what we call sex, including body hair, hip to shoulder ratio, chromosomes, 
pitch of voice, and more. On the top line, we’ll write “Female-ness,” and on the bottom line we’ll write 
“Male-ness,” because here we are depicting the varying degrees someone might embody these traits, 
as opposed to the sex a person is assigned at birth (which is generally solely determined by external 
genitalia at birth). 

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Does anyone have any questions about these scales, or the words we’re using to label them? 

Now we’re going to fill in the blanks in the attraction section. People experience attraction (or 
don’t) in a lot of different ways. Two common ways people describe the attraction they may or may 
not be experiencing is as “sexual” and “romantic.” You can think of sexual attraction as the drive to 
engage in physically intimate behaviors like touching, kissing, or intercourse, and romantic attraction 
as the drive to engage in socially intimate behaviors like flirting, dating, and marriage.  

Some people experience both, some only one, and some neither. And within those experiences of 
attraction, we often focus on the gender of others that we are attracted to. 

In the top blanks on the write, you can write “Women” and in the bottom we can write “Men.” But we 
can also write all the words from above. That is, in the top line we might write “woman-ness, 
femininity, and/or female-ness,” and in the bottom line “man-ness, masculinity, and/or male-ness,” 
because our sexual or romantic attraction might be to a particular part of gender. For example, 
someone might be attracted to people who identify with a lot of woman-ness, but express a lot of 
masculinity. 

Does anyone have any questions about these scales, or the words we’re using to label them? 

What we’d like to do now is take a moment to consider where we land on these scales. How 
much woman-ness do you identify with? How much man-ness? Maybe neither? How much femininity 
and/or masculinity do you express? A lot of both? A lot of one and not a lot of the other? How much 
female-ness or male-ness do you see yourself embodying? You can draw a dot on each continuum, 
several dots to indicate a range, or leave it blank -- be as creative as you’d like.  

We won’t be collecting these, or asking you to share your answers. We’re going to give you 2 
minutes. 

We are socialized to oversimplify all of this, and to think that once we know one thing about someone, 
we can fill in the rest of their blanks. For example, if we learn someone is a woman, we have a picture 
in our mind of what that person looks like and who she’s attracted to. We might assume she 
expresses gender in feminine ways, was assigned female at birth and embodies female-ness, and is 
exclusively attracted to men. This image is simple, however, is not true or complicated enough for 
many, if not most, of us. Many of us exist in different degrees on the scales above, and may zig-zag 
through them in ways that break assumptions and norms. 

To highlight this, we want to use the blank space between the gender and sexuality scales to write two 
≠ ≠ ≠
things: “Identity Expression Sex,” and “Gender Sexual Orientation.”  

As we said at the beginning, the Genderbread is a model that shows us how complex gender and 
sexuality are in our current society, not the ideal world we would want to live in. Our hope is that 
understanding might lead to a healthier world, and we hope that this intro was a helpful step for you 
toward a better understanding of yourself and others. 

Make it your own 

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This activity can be done in exclusively lecture format or can be made interactive by asking 
participants for examples or suggestions during the lecture. It is best to give definitions for the terms 
before asking for examples.  

The three main ways people facilitate the Genderbread Person are either making it personal for the 
participants (as in the example lecture above), using themselves to make it personal (with anecdotes 
or personal examples), or using generic/fictional examples. All have their pros and cons. 

Unlock the Magic 

As much as possible, finding a facilitator “voice” that is authentic for you for this activity will make the 
biggest difference. Don’t necessarily facilitate it how you may have seen it done, or exactly how it’s 
explained above, if either of those will compromise your voice. When Genderbread goes really well, it 
hits hard for people — personally, and in their sense of the social implications of gender. For it to do 
this, you need to be able to make an authentic connection between the material and your 
participants. connect yourself, these concepts, and the participants. 

Notes 
The Genderbread Person is not meant to be a “utopian” vision of society and gender, but to more 
accurately depict the ways we experience gender today.  

To gain deeper understanding of all the terms and identity labels prior to conducting the activity, read 
Sam’s “Breaking through the Binary: Gender Explained Using Continuums” article (szp.guide/bttb) or 
book A Guide to Gender (szp.guide/g2g). Both are uncopyrighted and freely available for your 
reference or use.  

Many of the terms that come up throughout this activity are clarified in our vocab activity. When in 
doubt, the definitions can be used word-for-word in the lecture.   

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Genderbread Person Handout 

Facilitator Guide 

   

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Genderbread Person Handout 

Participant’s Sheet 

   

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Privilege for Sale & Coming Out 

Small Group – 101 – Medium Trust – 25 mins – szp.guide/privilegeandco 

Materials   Setup 
● Privileges for Sale Participant Handout   ● Write different dollar amounts of money 
on the scrap paper — one piece per 
● Coming Out Handout 
group 
● Scrap paper  

Facilitator Framing 
● Giving directions for this activity in steps will help ensure that participants don’t miss any part 
of the instructions. 

● Privilege for sale is an activity that can have a lot of different outcomes and goals, many of 
which can be focused on in the debrief. If you want to use the activity to achieve certain 
goals/learning outcomes be sure to steer the debrief towards that end. 

● The coming out handout flows nicely from privilege for sale but can be used/referenced 
anywhere in the curriculum.  

Goals & Learning Outcomes 

● To acknowledge and investigate privilege.   

● To provide an opportunity for participants to empathetically connect and reflect on the 

experience of having (or not having) privilege.  

● To discuss the variety of privileges that the queer community (and other communities) have 
limited access to. Not just legal privileges but social, financial, etc.  

● To discuss how no one privilege is more important than another, that for someone any 
privilege may feel essential.  

● Participants will be able to identify privileges that they take for granted in their everyday life.  

● Participants will discuss what types of privileges (social, financial, legal, etc.) are important to 
them and why that may differ from others in their group.  

● Participants will be able to investigate and discuss what groups may have limited access to 
what privileges and effect that lack of access may have on an individual. 

Process Steps 

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1. Break participants into small groups, ideally no more than 4 people. Have folks create little 
discussion pods around tables or with chairs in a circle, groups should be far away from each 
other so they can have a discussion without being distracted by the other groups.  

2. Explain the directions: 

“On your sheet there is a list of privileges, for the purposes of this activity, you do not have any 
of these privileges. We have removed of these privileges and you, as a group, need to buy 
them back from us. Each privilege costs $100. One of us is going to come around in a moment 
and give an amount of money to each group. That is the amount of money that you as a 
group have to spend. We will give you a few minutes to talk together and decide what 
privileges you’d like to buy. After we’re going to come back to the big group and debrief.” 

3. Check to see if the group has any questions on the directions.  

4. Pass out dollar amounts for the different groups on scrap paper. (Typically we vary the 
amounts from $300-$1400)  
5. Give the groups approximately 5 minutes (giving them a “half-way” / 2 minute warning) to 
discuss and decide which privileges they would like to buy. 

6. Debrief the activity as a whole with the group.  

7. Transition into the Coming Out Handout.  

Debrief questions 
What was this activity like? 

How did this activity make you feel? 

● For some people this is a new experience because they’ve never thought of privilege in this 
way, or in a list form like this.  

● It can sometimes be a deeply triggering or frustrating activity because perhaps you don’t have 
access to a lot of these privileges and seeing all of the privileges in a list can be challenging.   

● For others it can be deeply moving/emotional because they’ve never thought of all the 
privilege that they do have before. This can bring up feelings of guilt or even feelings of shame 
for taking things for granted.  

How did you go about picking privileges? 

● Some groups go democratic of everyone gets to pick one privilege. Groups with less money 
often don’t have the opportunity to go that route.  

● Sometimes different amounts of money change our priorities. Often times groups with less 
money will make different decisions than if that same group had had more money.  

● Often times conversations about values and about life goals come up when folks begin picking 
privileges. 

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What on this list surprised you? 

● A lot of times people don’t realize all of the privileges that they take for granted. And that’s 
often because privilege is invisible to those of us who have privilege it.  

● Sometimes people mention that they’d never thought of what it would actually be like not to 
be able to use a public bathroom without threat or punishment. It is interesting to think about 
that conversation from a personal perspective rather than as a political issue.  

Why do you think this activity is called “Privilege for Sale” instead of “Heterosexual Privilege 
for Sale” or “Cisgender Privilege for Sale?”  

● While some of these privileges may apply to sexuality or gender they may also relate to race, 
class, ability, or even religion. We are all likely approaching it from a lens of gender and 
sexuality because that’s what we’ve been focused on today but a lot of different marginalized 
experiences/identities apply to this list.  

Why do you think we choose money? We could have easily said that each privilege was worth a 
token and you have 5 tokens, what does money represent?  

● When you have more money you can actually buy privileges, you can move to new locations 
where some of the social privileges may be more easily accessed or you can hire a lawyer to 
manage adoption paperwork for instance. 

● Money is a form of privilege. When you have money you may not be as concerned that you 
could lose your job or may be rejected from housing. 

● We take money very seriously and we understand how it can affect our decision making 
processes.  

Why do you think we gave groups different amounts of money? 

● Sometimes you can think that you that you only have $500 until you realize that someone was 
less privileged than you and then all of a sudden the $500 feels differently. 

● It can create animosity between groups even though the groups were simply assigned the 
money and it was really the facilitators who should be receiving the animosity. 

What have you learned from this activity? 

How does this activity and what you’re learning from this activity translate into your job or 
work? 

Coming Out Handout 

1. Transition from the Privilege for Sale portion of the activity to the coming out hand out. One 
way to do this is to highlight that straight individuals and cisgender individuals often do not 
have to navigate a coming out process because their identity is assumed correctly by others. 
Not having to come out is a privilege. 

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2. Ask a participant in the group to read the first section of the handout (the first block of color) 
and then ask another participant to read the next section, continue like this until the whole 
handout has been read. 

3. Share/highlight with the group the key points on the handout, highlighting everything you 
believe might be important information.  

Wrap-up 
Clarify any points above that you didn’t land with your participants that you feel are particularly 
relevant and important for the group. Summarize the main learning points that they shared.  

Make it your own 

You can modify this list to talk about whatever types of privileges you’d like to highlight, like cisgender 
privilege, male privilege, christian privilege, or White privilege.  

You can experiment with pace (e.g., more decision-making time, or less), group size, rules (e.g., 
introduce a “fire sale” in the last minute of decision-making where certain privileges cost $50), and the 
allocations of money (e.g., a huge economic disparity, or everyone getting the same amounts). 

Unlock the Magic 

No two facilitations of this activity will be the same, even if — especially if — you try to make that 
happen. Sometimes you’ll have a group be righteously mad. Other times the primary emotion 
surfaced might be sadness or dejection. Sometimes groups are just confused or baffled by these 
examples “How did I not see this before?!” 

The trick to this activity is not trying to elicit a particular emotional/cognitive response, but being 
present to whatever your group surfaces, and honing in on that: what’re they feeling, where’s it 
coming from, what meaning might you make from it?  

This activity is a ton of fun if you let your group take the lead, and follow them where they take you. 
Enjoy the ride.  

Notes 
The word “privilege” has become really loaded, and a borderline trigger for a lot of people. Further, 
other activities or interventions meant to help folks “check their privilege” often backfire, or fall short. 
Keeping this all in mind, Privilege for Sale is (or at least can be) different. Just be prepared for 
pushback, and do your best to validate or understand where it is coming from. We’ve had tons of 
participants, after the training or on a break after this activity, tell us something along the lines of 
“That was so different from how I’ve always seen ‘privilege’ done.” 

This activity will really hit home for some people. Give people time to debrief and be ready to validate 
any emotions that come up for the group. It is also a really great activity to refer back to later in the 
training because a lot of people really connect with this activity and can use it to understand other 
impacts of bias or prejudice or how additional levels and layers of privilege would interact.  

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Privileges for Sale 

Please look at the following list of privileges. Each privilege costs $100 to purchase. As a 
group, please purchase as many privileges as your money allows. 
1. Celebrating your marriage(s) with your family, friends, and coworkers.  
2. Paid leave from your job when grieving the death of your partner(s). 
3. Inheriting from your partner(s)/lover(s)/companion(s) automatically after their death. 
4. Having multiple positive TV role models. 
5. Sharing health insurance with your partner(s). 
6. Being able to find role models of the same sexual orientation. 
7. Being able to see your partner(s) immediately if in an accident or emergency. 
8. Being able to be promoted in your job without your sexuality playing a factor. 
9. Adopting your children. 
10. Filing joint tax returns. 
11. Able to obtain child custody. 
12. Being able to complete forms and paperwork with the information you feel most accurately 
communicates who you are.  
13. Being able to feel safe in your interactions with police officers. 
14. Being able to travel, or show ID in restaurants or bars, without fear you’ll be rejected. 
15. Kissing/hugging/being affectionate in public without threat or punishment. 
16. Being able to discuss and have access to multiple family planning options. 
17. Not questioning normalcy both sexually and culturally. 
18. Reading books or seeing movies about a relationship you wish you could have. 
19. Receiving discounted homeowner insurance rates with your recognized partner(s). 
20. Raising children without worrying about state intervention. 
21. Having others comfort and support you when a relationship ends. 
22. Being a foster parent. 
23. Using public restrooms without fear of threat or punishment.  
24. Being employed as a preschool or elementary school teacher without people assuming you will 
“corrupt” the children. 
25. Dating the person you desired in your teens. 
26. Raising children without worrying about people rejecting your children because of your sexuality.  
27. Living openly with your partner(s). 
28. Receiving validation from your religious community. 
29. Being accepted by your neighbors, colleagues, and new friends. 
30. Being able to go to a doctor and getting treatment that doesn’t conflict with your identity. 
31. Being able to access social services without fear of discrimination, or being turned away. 
32. Sponsoring your partner(s) for citizenship. 
33. Being open and having your partner(s) accepted by your family. 

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Anonymous Q&A 
Large Group – 101 – Low Trust – 10 mins – szp.guide/anonymousqa 

Materials  Setup 
● Scrap paper/index cards  ● Pass out index cards/ scrap paper to all 
participants and ensure everyone has a 
● Pen/pencils  
pen/pencil 
● (optional) hat or some kind of vessel to 
 
put questions in 

Facilitator Framing 
● This activity is best when you feel comfortable fielding most questions that participants may 
ask. You can always skip or come back to a question that is asked as you’ll have them on the 
cards and may not get to all the questions regardless of ability to answer them.  

Goals & objectives 

● Provide an opportunity for all participants to ask the questions they are most curious about 
and have them answered 

● An opportunity to generate scenarios for the activities later in the training 

Process Steps 
1. Hand out scrap paper or index cards. 

2. Let participants know that this section of the training is called Anonymous Q&A and they 
should use the paper in front of them to ask you any question they like. Let them know (if you 
are comfortable) that this question can be about anything. Personal, political, social, curiosity, 
misconceptions, random ideas, or a scenario that they would like to go over as a group. Ask 
them to fold their cards, then leave the cards on your desk or pass around a “hat” of some 
sort. Make sure you collect an index card from everyone (even if it’s blank). 

3. Once the questions have all been handed in, review them (quickly) and see if there are any 
that are on a similar topic to address all at once. 

4. Read out the questions verbatim and answer them to the best of your ability. Alternatively 
share the questions with the group and ask for input if you think others would also have 
interesting thoughts/input on the questions. 

Notes 
It is important to wait until the vast majority (if not all) hand in their questions so that people don't 
feel like you will know which question is theirs because you've already begun to read through them. 

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If you receive a question that you are not comfortable answering - don't read it aloud. Only you and 
the participant that asked the question will recognize that you did not answer the question. 

Alternatively, leave a number of questions unanswered and let participants know that you will get 
back to them via email about questions you did not get to answer. This will allow you time to discuss 
optional answers with others before answering the question(s) - but it is important to follow through 
on this. 

Remember it is important not to phrase your opinions as if you speak for an entire group identity. If 
you’re answering personally (e.g., the question is about bisexual people and you’re bi), be explicit in 
grounding your answers in your experience with your identity, or your understandings.  

Unlock the Magic 

This activity can create a lot of opportunities to facilitate discussions that the participants really want 
to have. They wrote down the topic so you know at least one person is interested. As you move 
forward in your facilitation skills you can really allow these conversations to go and just help focus the 
conversations to be productive dialogue. 

…
Reading out the questions verbatim allows you to practice your “Yes and's" (szp.guide/yesandrule). 
Often participants phrase a question in a way that uses a word that sounds awkward, or in a way that 
others may find offensive. Practice rephrasing or correcting without shutting someone down. If 
someone writes, “Why do all queers go to pride?” You could read that out loud and then say, “Right. 
Okay, so this question is asking why do all queer people go to pride. I just added the word ‘people,’ in 
there because we encourage using the word queer as an adjective. So, why do all queer people go to 
pride?” Then answer the question. (Spoilers: they don’t) 

   

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F(earfully) Asked Questions 

Large Group – 101 – Low Trust – 10 mins – szp.guide/fearfullyaskedquestions 

Materials   Setup 
● Sticky flip-chart paper  ● Write up and number a few of your 
pre-determined fearfully asked questions 
● Markers 
on the flip chart paper  

Facilitator Framing 
● Safe Zone participants are often afraid to ask questions that they perceive as being too basic, 
prejudiced, or offensive. That does not mean, however, that most people aren’t wondering 
about those types of questions — they are! This activity is designed confront those unasked 
questions and provide an opportunity for participants to get accurate, healthy answers. 

Goals & objectives 

● Participants will be able to separate myth from fact, and accurate information from hearsay, 
regarding popular misconceptions about LGBTQ people.  

Process Steps 
1. Prior to the training, prepare a flipchart (or powerpoint slide) with 5 - 7 common questions you 
believe your group might have regarding LGBTQ people, but would be afraid to ask (e.g., 
because they are worried about appearing ignorant or offending someone). 

2. Number the questions and write them large and legibly, allowing for people to easily identify 
them. The numbers allow participants to simply call out a number (instead of having to 
actually ask the question themselves). 

3. When you begin this activity, hang the flipchart where participants can see them.  

4. Provide context for the questions. For example, “These are common questions that folks have 
regarding LGBTQ people and we wanted to provide an opportunity to answer any questions 
that you have on this sheet. What is the number of one of the questions you would like us to 
answer?”   

5. Answer each question a participant chooses. Continue until all questions are answered, the 
group stops choosing numbers, or you are out of time.  

Sample “Fearfully Asked” Questions 

1. What bathroom does a transgender person use?  

2. How do lesbians have sex?  

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3. Are all transgender people gay?  

4. Is bisexuality real? 

5. Why is there a LGBTQ community, but not a straight community?  

6. Why are gay men more promiscuous?  

7. Don’t all these labels actually make it worse not better?  

8. In a gay relationship, who is the man?  

9. Can I ask someone how they identify?  

10. Is a man who dates a transgender woman actually gay?  

Unlock the Magic 

This format of question answering gives you total control to only answer questions you’re comfortable 
answering, and to prepare (or even script out) your answers beforehand. Take advantage of this 
difference! Practice answering the questions with a co-facilitator or peer. Ask them to challenge you in 
particular ways you’re nervous about encountering in the room. 

Come up with several distinct ways to answer every question (e.g., in a really direct, short way; using 
an anecdote or statistic; situating your answer within a larger picture; using humor) and you’ll be able 
to choose the one, in the moment, that best matches the tone of the room and group you’re with. 

Notes 
None of the questions in our sample list are “easy” to answer, nor do they have one correct answer. 
Just asking some of those questions, or creating space for questions like this, is potentially opening a 
can of worms. Be ready for this when you choose your questions, or decide to use this activity. 

   

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Scenarios 
Small Group – 201 – Medium Trust – 15 mins – szp.guide/scenarios 

Materials   Setup 
● Scenario handouts for participants  ● Cut the scenarios up and have at least 
one for each small group 

Facilitator Framing 
● Scenario are an opportunity for your group to practice putting some of the concepts and 
understandings they learned earlier in the workshop into practice.  

● We recommend coming up with 2-3 scenarios that you believe would most benefit your group 
to work through. This benefit might be determined by a scenario the group is most likely to 
encounter, the group is most likely to struggle with, or another criteria.  

● We’ve included the participant handout and facilitator guide for each scenario with suggested 
bullets for guidance. 

Goals & objectives 

● To provide real world situations that participants may encounter in the future and for 
participants to think through and game plan the different ways to handle the situation 

● To empower participants to feel more comfortable applying the knowledge that they have 
gained during the course of the training in real-world situations 

● To provide a framework for participants to use when working through scenarios and when 
considering scenarios for multiple periods in time.  

Process Steps 
1. Introduce the activity to the participants. For example, “Now that we’re nearing the end of our 
training, we are going to focus on some scenarios related to these concepts that you may 
encounter in your daily lives.”  

2. Split your participants up into small groups of 3 - 4.  

3. Provide each group with a scenario to work through. Let the groups know they’re going to have 
a few minutes to discuss solutions before sharing their thoughts with the larger group. 

4. If any group finishes remarkably quickly, use the scenario learning cycle to prompt additional 
questions (ex. “What could you do to prevent the scenario from happening? What might you 
do immediately afterward or following up later in the week after the scenario?”) to elicit 
further conversation.  

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5. Bring the groups back together and review the scenarios.  

6. Ask an individual from each group to read out their scenario and then ask the whole group to 
discuss what they thought the best way to handle the scenario would be. Ask for feedback 
from the larger group, add your own, and then move onto the next group repeating the 
process. 

7. If the group is struggling to work through a scenario, particularly if they don’t understand the 
concern, them through these steps: 

Group Work Stages: 

1. Clarify the problem: At this stage you really want to identify what the problem is and make 
sure everyone in the group agrees on what the issue is before moving to the next step. 

2. Identify options: Have the group brainstorm a number of different options that are available 
to address the problem at hand. These options may be more or less feasible but you don’t 
need to address that at this stage, just get the options out there. 

3. Weigh outcomes: Now that you’ve identified options, talk through some of the options 
presented and what the possible outcomes of going that direction could be. Weigh pros and 
cons. 

4. Do it. Listen. Reassess: Talk through implementing the decided upon direction with the 
group. If it would be helpful talk about some possible future barriers/complications after 
taking that path and talk through those as well as possible scenarios.   

The instructions above provide some clarity for the facilitator on how to debrief scenarios with the 
group. If the group’s answers are all focused on the “in the moment” response to the scenario 
prompt additional thoughts by using the scenarios learning cycle:   

During is “in the moment” that the scenario is taking place. After is immediately after where as 
follow-up maybe later in the day or a week or two later. Before is focusing in on how to prevent that 
moment from happening again.  

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Wrap-up 
One of the key things that we want y’all to get out of this exercises relates to the “Platinum rule” 
(szp.guide/platinumrule). The idea behind the platinum rule is that while the golden rule (treat others 
as you would want to be treated) is a good start, it leads us to believe (and treat) people as we wanted 
to be treated and not necessarily how they want to be treated. In discussing these scenarios hopefully 
we’ve teased out a bit that there are often different ways to address an issue or a sticking point and 
that the most important thing in order to support someone is to find out how they want to be 
supported.   

Make it your own 

You can do this activity a number of different ways. Here are a few: 

Process the scenarios as one large group having an all-group discussion, rather than having people 
break into small groups (one scenario at a time).  

Put a spectrum on a wall with three signs labeled “very confident”, “somewhat confident”, and “not at 
all confident”. Read out a scenario and ask people to place themselves on the spectrum of how 
confident they would be in handling this situation you just described. From here, you can have 
individuals from one of the groups (e.g., the “very confident”) share their thoughts, or you can split 
people into smaller groups — taking people from all parts of the spectrum and putting them together.  

Cut up the scenarios sheet and hang different scenarios around the room. Ask people to stand by the 
one they would most like to answer or work through, then follow the same process steps above (make 
sure no group gets too big; it’s preferable to break a big group into two smaller ones, even if they’re 
working on the same scenario). 

Unlock the Magic 

The more relevant the scenario, the most powerful this activity. Some of the best scenarios present 
themselves earlier in the training in the form of a prescient, complicated question from a participant. 
…
If you get a question that sounds like a scenario (e.g., “What do you do when ?” or “My 
…
coworker/classmate said ?), write it down and tell the group you’ll cover it later, and use it as a 
scenario during this activity. 

Notes 
We provide scenarios on the next few pages as examples. However, we recommend limiting the total 
number of scenarios you provide your group to 2-3, and choosing the scenarios that are most likely to 
help your participants.   

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Scenarios for Staff, Faculty, 

Employees 
 

1. You’ve noticed a fellow staff member making comments that are subtly homophobic and 
transphobic, which are making you and others uncomfortable. You’re unsure if this person 
realizes what they are saying is problematic or not. What might you do? 

2. You’re interacting with someone new, and they introduce themselves as Alex and they look 
very androgynous. You’re not really sure what pronouns to use - what should you do? 

3. You’re giving a tour to someone who are considering hiring and they ask is if the office is 
LGBTQ friendly. How might you respond? 

4. A student/participant you work with on a regular basis shares with you that they are gay and 
are nervous to tell others and worried about how this will affect their hireability in the future. 
How do you support this person?  

5. A staff member shares at a staff meeting that they are trans* and would like everyone to use a 
new name and the pronouns “they/them/theirs,” while everyone at the staff meeting is very 
positive and affirming in the moment, afterward there is a lot of confusion and hesitancy 
about how to proceed. People aren’t sure how to let others know, what to do when they mess 
up pronouns/names, what other types of support this person may want/need. How might you 
proceed? 

6. You bring up the idea of your office/team doing a diversity/inclusion training. There is a lot of 
eye rolling and no one says anything affirming about the idea. Someone comments, “we’re all 
really accepting here, I don’t think we need to do that sort of training.” How might you 
respond?  

 
   

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Scenarios for Students, Youth, & 

Peers 
 

1. You’ve started to become closer friends with someone over the last 3 months. One day you’re 
hanging out and they seem really nervous and uncomfortable. You ask them what’s up and 
they tell you that they’re gay and worried you’re going to reject them and that everyone is 
going to reject them. What do you do? 

2. You’re working on a project with some people in class and the first time you meet someone 
says, “Ugh this project is so gay right? What a stupid project.” A few people look at each other 
awkwardly but don’t say anything. How might you respond? 

3. You’re helping out with a program when someone comes over and says, “Hey this is Alex, Alex 
is here to help us set-up.” And then walks away leaving you with Alex. You’ve never met before, 
Alex is very androgynous and you’re not really sure what pronouns to use with Alex. You’re 
going to be introducing them to others helping set up, so you want to know. What might you 
do?  

4. You’re part of an LGBTQ and ally group and one day you make the suggestion that the group 
might want to do and LGBTQ-awareness training. You’ve noticed a lot of internalized 
homophobia as well as biphobia/transphobia within the group and you’re hoping that the 
training would be a good way to start getting at those things. There is a lot of discomfort and 
someone says, “It’s straight people who need to be educated not us.” What might you do?  

5. One of your teachers/mentors (who you know quite well) is talking about sexuality or gender 
in class. When the discussion goes quiet they turn to one student, who is out as gay on 
campus, and ask if you have anything additional to add. This makes you feel really 
uncomfortable, what do you do? 

   

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Facilitation Suggestions: Staff, Faculty, Employees Scenarios 

1. You’ve noticed a fellow staff member making comments that are subtly homophobic and 
transphobic, which are making you and others uncomfortable. You’re unsure if this person 
realizes what they are saying is problematic or not. What might you do? 

○ Follow-up. Ask to chat with this person and then let them know what you’ve noticed 
and give an example.  

○ Relate in. When giving feedback, relate-in to this person: “I used to mess this up all the 
time and while it took some practice at getting better, I’ve noticed people feel more at 
ease around me now.” 

○ Strategize. Talk with another staff member about how to respond in the moment to 
the negative comments. Come up with a response that feels appropriate and try it out 
the next time this person makes a comment.  

○ Delegate. Perhaps you know that you’re not willing to connect with this person 
directly. Find someone who would be and support them approaching this person.  

○ Keys to success 

■ Give them the benefit of the doubt that they likely didn’t mean to make anyone 
uncomfortable and don’t realize it’s having that effect. 

■ Highlight this is about their actions not their identity. A lot of times people take 
things as a personal attack, be sure to speak to and focus on the behavior not 
on the person’s beliefs/identity or whether they are a good/bad person.  

2. You’re interacting with someone new, and they introduce themselves as Alex and they look 
very androgynous. You’re not really sure what pronouns to use - what should you do? 

○ Share your pronouns & ask theirs. “Hey my name is Marla and my pronouns are 
she/her/hers. What are your pronouns?”  

■ This is particularly important if you’re going to be introducing them to other 

people.  

○ Use their name. If you haven’t asked their pronouns yet, use their name every time. 
“Alex is here to check out the office. Alex have you been anywhere else today?” 

○ If you mess up, apologize, correct, and move on. “He was -- oh, I’m sorry, Alex. She. 
She was saying that she was over at the pizza place for lunch.”  

3. A student/participant you work with on a regular basis shares with you that they are gay and 
are nervous to tell others and worried about how this will affect their hireability in the future. 
How do you support this person?  

○ Affirm them and appreciate their trust. “I am really glad that you know this about 
yourself and I also appreciate your honesty in sharing your concerns with me. Those 

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concerns are real and valid to worry about, and perhaps there are ways that we can 
work through them that can make them less scary.”  

○ Find out what’s most pressing. Perhaps they want to talk about coming out to 
people. Perhaps they want to talk about the job. Inquire more into which one they 
want to talk about first/today, depending on the time you have together.  

○ Ask clarifying questions. “Who have you told so far? What have their reactions been? 
Are there specific people that you’re nervous about telling? Do you have any evidence 
that this may go well or go poorly? Do you feel that it will be safe for you to tell the 
people you want to tell? What kind of timeline are you hoping to tell people on?”  

○ Be honest. “This might affect your hireability because some people do discriminate 
against people for being gay. I hope that doesn’t happen to you, because it’s simply not 
acceptable for people to treat you that way.. But there are ways to navigate the job 
process to better ensure you’re supported in your job as a gay employee, and to help 
identify if a workplace is a good fit for you.”  

4. A staff member shares at a staff meeting that they are trans* and would like everyone to use a 
new name (Trey) and the pronouns “they/them/theirs,” while everyone at the staff meeting is 
very positive and affirming in the moment, afterward there is a lot of confusion and hesitancy 
about how to proceed. People aren’t sure how to let others know, what to do when they mess 
up pronouns/names, what other types of support Trey may want/need. How might you 
proceed? 

○ Ask Trey. “Hey Trey, wanted to thank you for sharing that important information with 
me and let you know that I’m here to support you in this process. I recognize I have 
gaps in my knowledge around the different challenges you may face, so if there is 
anything I can do to help that I’m not doing, or not doing well, please let me know.”  

○ Practice using their name/pronouns regardless if they are around. Get in the habit of 
using this person’s new name/pronouns whenever you talk about them. If you want 
additional practice, ask a colleague to listen to you while you tell a story about the first 
time you and Trey met, or an experience you’ve had with Trey, using their new 
name/pronouns the entire time.  

○ Acknowledge, apologize, and move on when you mess up. “Yeah that was Trey’s 
…
idea. He -- I mean they, they were saying ” You can sometimes simply correct yourself 
and move on without an apology, though sometimes after repeated mistakes it makes 
sense to apologize. However, apologize for them, not for you.  

○ If you learn something new ask if you can share with the group. If you mess up and 
Trey says, “You know, I’d rather you correct yourself than spend time apologizing.” Ask 
if this is information you can share with others if they are wondering. There is going to 
be a lot of practice and educating, and Trey doesn’t have to do it alone.  

5. You bring up the idea of your office/team doing a diversity/inclusion training. There is a lot of 
eye rolling and no one says anything affirming about the idea. Someone comments, “we’re all 

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really accepting here, I don’t think we need to do that sort of training.” How might you 
respond?  

○ Separate acceptance vs. awareness/knowledge. “I think that we all are really 

accepting but things change and sometimes we might not have the awareness or the 
knowledge to back up our value of acceptance. Always good to brush up on our 
understanding.” 

○ Investment communicates importance. “I agree, we are all really accepting, but in 
order for us to communicate that we are invested in creating accepting and open 
environments, we need to invest time into additional training.”  

○ For other people. “We all know that we’re really accepting here but that doesn’t mean 
other people are aware of it. This will provide us some context to help communicate 
that acceptance to others.”  

○ Our impressions don’t always align. “I would like to think of myself as a very 
accepting person, and I know that I have some areas of growth as well. However, it’s 
not easy to know what you don’t know and training helps highlight some gaps that we 
may not be able to see we have.”  

Facilitation Suggestions: Students, Youth, Peers Scenarios 

1. You’ve started to become closer friends with someone over the last 3 months. One day you’re 
hanging out and they seem really nervous and uncomfortable. You ask them what’s up and 
they tell you that they’re gay and worried you’re going to reject them and that everyone is 
going to reject them. What do you do? 

○ Affirm them and their sharing with you. “I really appreciate you sharing that with 
me, we’re cool, it doesn’t change anything between us that you’re gay. I’m glad you felt 
you could tell me.”  

○ Ask questions. “Who else are you wanting to tell? Are there any people you’ve told 
already that have reacted badly? Are there other people you know who have your 
back?” 

○ Offer to think things through. “If you want to walk through what it might be like to 
tell other people or how best to do that, we could do that.”  

○ Let them know you have their back. “You know if anyone reacts badly to you, know 
I’ve got your back. I’m also down to talk to them and let them know it’s cool with me.”  

2. You’re working on a project with some people in class and the first time you meet someone 
says, “Ugh this project is so gay right? What a stupid project.” A few people look at each other 
awkwardly but don’t say anything. How might you respond? 

○ Correct their language without addressing it directly. “Yeah, it is kind of a rough 

project, but I’m sure we can figure it out.”  

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○ Address it in the moment by assuming best intent. “Hey, I’m sure you didn’t mean 
anything by it, but if we could not call this assignment gay, I’d appreciate that.”  

○ Follow up with them after. “Hey, I’m not sure if you realized this but you called the 
project gay and it just kinda bums me out when people do that, so I wanted to let you 
know.”  

○ Connect with someone else to ask if they’d address it. Perhaps they have a friend 
in the group or someone who is more comfy with confrontation. Ask after if they’d be 
up for letting the person know it wasn’t an okay thing to say.”  

3. You’re helping out with a program when someone comes over and says, “Hey this is Alex, Alex 
is here to help us set-up.” And then walks away leaving you with Alex. You’ve never met before, 
Alex is very androgynous and you’re not really sure what pronouns to use with Alex. You’re 
going to be introducing them to others helping set up, so you want to know. What might you 
do?   

○ Introduce yourself including your name and pronouns. “Hey Alex, I’m Max, I use 
he/him pronouns.” 

○ Invite Alex to share their pronouns. “What are your pronouns? I ask because I’m 
sure I’m going to be introducing you to new people and want to make sure I get it 
right.”  

○ Use Alex’s name and no pronouns. “Alex is going to be helping us out with this, and 
I’m happy to have Alex on the team.”  

4. You’re part of an LGBTQ and ally group and one day you make the suggestion that the group 
might want to do and LGBTQ-awareness training. You’ve noticed a lot of internalized 
homophobia as well as biphobia/transphobia within the group and you’re hoping that the 
training would be a good way to start getting at those things. There is a lot of discomfort and 
someone says, “It’s straight people who need to be educated not us.” What might you do?  

○ Agree and add more. “I think you’re totally right that straight people often are more 
ignorant of what it means to be part of the LGBTQ community than this group is. And 
perhaps learning more about it will help us understand how to explain things better.”  

○ Call yourself in. “I know I’ve learned a lot from being in this group and I know that 
there is still a lot more to learn. I think that we all could grow in our abilities to 
understand and connect with each other, so that’s why I’m interested.”  

○ One marginalized identity doesn’t give you info on another. “I think that because 
we have so many identities in this group, I know for me being _______ doesn’t mean that 
I know what it’s like to be _______. Gay people can have a lack of understanding about 
trans identity, or what it’s like to be pansexual, and vise-versa.”  

5. One of your friends recently came out to you as genderqueer. They want you to use 
they/them/their pronouns and let you know their new name is Jay. You find yourself really 
struggling with pronouns and find yourself stressed about messing up Jay’s name/pronouns 

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with others. You want to be affirming and are really worried you’re not doing a good job. What 
might you do? 

○ Practice on your own. Grab a friend and ask if you can if you can practiced talking 
about Jay with their new name and pronouns. Tell a story about you and Jay using their 
new name/pronouns, or talk about how you first became friends.  

○ Practice regardless if Jay is around. Sometimes people can get lazy if their friend isn’t 
around, ensure that you’re using the right name/pronouns at all times. 

○ Ask others to hold you accountable. Tell your mutual friends, “Hey, I’m really 
struggling with this. Please remind me when I mess up.”  

○ When you mess up, apologize and move on. Even if it feels like a really big deal in 
the moment, apologize, correct yourself, and move on. That will allow things not to 
become focused on you for messing up.  

○ Apologize to Jay outside of those moments. If you find yourself messing up a lot, let 
Jay know, “Hey, I’m sorry I’m struggling so much with this. Please know I really respect 
you and know this is important, and I’m going to keep working on it and getting better.”  

   

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Wrap-Up and Feedback 

Housekeeping – 101 – Low Trust – 5 mins – szp.guide/wrapup 

Materials   Setup 
● Participant feedback forms  ● N/A 

● Self feedback form   

Facilitator Framing 
● Wrapping up the workshop is important in order to provide a sense of closure to the 
experience, review the material covered, and initiate thoughts around next steps.  

● We recommend asking for feedback that you know you will use. If you are looking to 
change/alter the content material, ask for feedback on the content, if you want feedback on 
your facilitation process, ask for questions on your facilitation. Do not ask for feedback you are 
not going to meaningfully use.   

Goals & objectives 

● Wrap up the program by summarizing the takeaway points from the different aspects of the 
training. 

● Remind participants the events of the training giving them a chance to reflect on what they've 
experienced and learned over the course of the program. 

● Opportunity to make any last points or take-aways. 

● Opportunity for participants give feedback on the training that will help the facilitator grow 
and develop the training in the future. 

Process Steps: 
1. Let participants know that we are going to be wrapping up the training. 

2. Summarize the activities that you did during the training, the main takeaway points that you 
want participants to leave with, and what they can do from here to continue being and 
becoming better allies. Some points you might want to include are:  

● encourage participants to continue to continue these conversations outside of this 

space 

● encourage participants to inquire and address negative/hurtful language/assumptions, 

even when they are nervous 

● Encourage participants to continue to educate self/others on these and other social 

justice issues 

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3. Let them know that in a minute you'll be looking for their feedback. Let them know what you 
will use the feedback for and how important it is to growing and bettering the trainings in the 
future (this will encourage folks to give meaningful feedback). 

4. Hand out feedback forms and let participants know where to put them when they are done. If 
you’ll be sticking around the workshop for questions afterward let participants know that as 
well. Any additional information you want your group to have be sure to share before passing 
out feedback forms.  

Make it your own 

Modify the feedback form to fit your needs and interests and for the participating group.  

Unlock the Magic 

Remember: self-evaluation and self-feedback (szp.guide/selffeedbackblog) is critical to you improving 
as a facilitator. We wrote a whole article on it we think it’s that important. So while it can be very 
tempting to forget or not do this part, your future self will thank you! You can even do it while your 
participants fill out their feedback forms! 

Notes 
It is very easy to forget to or not prioritize Wrap-up as a part of the training. However, if you have a 
decision between doing another scenario or wrapping the workshop up in a meaningful way we 
encourage you to choose Wrap-up. The training will feel much more complete when you give a little 
summary at the end and provide some context for next steps. Wrap-up also increases the quality of 
the feedback you receive as you have just reminded participants all of the different aspects that you 
covered the training.   

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Participant Feedback Form   

Please answer honestly :) 

What is one thing that you learned from the training today? What did you enjoy about today’s 
training?  

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

 
What could be improved for the next time this training is facilitated? How do you think this training 
could be improved? 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

 
Who would you recommend this training to? What would you say to get them interested?  

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

 
Additional feedback for the facilitators? This could be in regards to material covered or the facilitation 
process.  

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

   

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Facilitator SELF Feedback Form  

Reflection questions for you to complete at the end of your facilitation  

What went well? 

 

What could have gone better? 

What aspect of the training do I want to change? How do I want to change it? 

 
 
What aspect elicited the most learning for the group? How can I recreate it? 

What questions or moments was I unprepared for? What follow-up 

do I need to do before next time?  

Anything facilitation-wise I want to change, or try out, next time? 

Final thoughts for next time? 

   
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Resources  
Websites, reading lists, recommended orgs, and more at szp.guide/resources 

Full List of Vocab Terms: szp.guide/vocab  

Websites for Learning More 
● Asexual Visibility and Education Network — www.asexuality.org 
● Bisexual.org — www.bisexual.org  
● Everyday Feminism — www.everydayfeminism.com  
● Get Real — www.getrealeducation.org 
● It's Pronounced Metrosexual — www.itspronouncedmetrosexual.com  
● Salacious — https://salaciousmagazine.com  
● Soul Force – www.soulforce.org  
● TransWhat? — www.transwhat.org  
● We Are The Youth — www.wearetheyouth.org  
Organizations Doing Good 
● GLAAD — www.glaad.org — Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation 
● GLSEN — www.glsen.org — Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network  
● Family Acceptance Project — https://familyproject.sfsu.edu/ 
● It Gets Better Project — www.itgetsbetter.org  
● National Gay and Lesbian Task Force — www.thetaskforce.org  
● The “Not All Like That” (NALT) Project — http://notalllikethat.org  
● The Religious Institute — http://www.religiousinstitute.org  
● PFLAG — www.pflag.org — "Parents, Families, Friends, and Allies United with LGBT People" 
● Transgender Law Center — www.transgenderlawcenter.org  
● The Trevor Project — www.thetrevorproject.org  
 
Want even more Resources? 
We have even more resources that don’t fit on this page. Head to 
www.thesafezoneproject.com/resources to find more! 
 
Are you, or is someone you know, in crisis? 
Trevor Hotline: “If you’re thinking about suicide, you deserve immediate help.” 
Call 1-866-488-7386 or text “TREVOR” to 1-202-304-1200 
Trans Lifeline: “A peer support service run by trans people, for trans and questioning callers.” 
Call 877-565-8860 (United States) or 877-330-6366 (Canada) 

   

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Curriculum 5.0 Edition 

Late Updated July 18, 2018 
Check out www.TheSafeZoneProject.com for the most recent version. Sign up for the free 
mailing list to stay current. 

Help evolve this document! 

Using this curriculum? Have tweaks, suggestions, new activities you use, specific scenarios you like, or 
new ways to facilitate it? Awesome! Let us know so we can share your good work with others. Contact 
us at [email protected]. 

What’s new in the 5th Edition? 

✔ Accessibility overhaul, including higher contrast ratios and more legible body text typefaces 

✔ Every activity and handout links to a parallel document on the SZP website, where you can find 
more tips, context, and help 

✔ Added multiple training timelines, a training set-up guide, and “about this curriculum” 

✔ Reworked lectures and example framing for most activities 

✔ Sprinkled more facilitator advice throughout, including several new “Unlock the Magic” tips 

✔ New vocab terms, updated definitions, and rewrote facilitator steps in activity walkthrough 

Uncopyright 
This document was created and uncopyrighted (szp.guide/uncopyright) by Meg Bolger and Sam 
Killermann — in the spirit of accessibility, advancing equity, and promoting social justice — along with 
all of the other materials and resources at www.TheSafeZoneProject.com. 

66 www.TheSafeZoneProject.com