MATILDA

Matilda Cast

Miss Trunchbull – Lottie

Mrs. Wormwood – Sabrina
Mr. Wormwood – Natasha
Miss Honey – Stella
Matilda #1 – Mia
Matilda #2 – Alexa
Matilda #3 – Ariana
Bruce – Kevin
Doctor / Nigel – Cedric
Mrs. Phelps / Kara – Johanna
Becs – Jacqueline
Babs – Naomi
Entertainer / Marie – Hannah
Amanda – Sarah
Lavender – Sophia
Alice – Samantha
Erika – Zara
Lucy – Amelie
Nina – Marissa
Summer – Angela
Jane – Alice

Scene 1
Doctor: Everyone is born Becs: But not everyone is born the same.
Babs: Some will grow to be butchers, Summer: or bakers,
Kara: or candlestick makers.
Jane: Some will only be really good at making Jell-O salad.
Lavender: One way or another, though, every human being is unique,
Bruce: for better or for worse.

#1 - MIRACLE
Lucy: My mummy says I'm a miracle.
Summer: My daddy says I'm his special little gal.
Nina: I am a princess, Bruce: And I am a prince.
Erika: Mum says I'm an angel sent down from the sky.
Alice: My daddy says I'm his special little diamond. No one is as perfect, cute as
me. It's true he indulges my tendency to shop, But I'm his little princess!
ALL: Hop, 2-4-3!

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CHORUS My mummy says I'm a miracle. One look at my face, and it's plain to see.
Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord,
It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me!
My daddy says I'm his special little diamond. No one is as perfect, cute as me.
Has my daddy told you, One day when I'm older, I can be a princess, so I’ll be.
ENTERTAINER: One can hardly move for beauty and brilliance these days.
It seems that there are millions of these one-in-a-millions these days.
Special-ness, seems de rigueur. Above average is average - go figure.
Is it is some modern miracle of calculus,
That such frequent miracles don't render each one un-miraculous?
REPEAT CHORUS
AMANDA: My mummy says I'm a precious barrelina. She has never seen a, prettier
barrelina. She says if I'm keen, I have to cut down on the cream,
But I'm a barrelina, SO GIVE ME MORE CAKE!
MRS. W: Look, is this gonna take much longer doctor, I got a plane to catch at 3.
I’m competiting in the Bi-Annual Amateur Salsa and Ballroom Dancing
Championships in Paris. If Jennifer Littleton thinks she’s walking off with the
coveted Golden Shoe this year, she’s got another thing comin!
DOC: You’re getting on a plane Mrs. Worwood. I think we should have a talk.
Do you really not know what might be the cause of ... (tummy) this?
MRS. W: Are you trying to tell me I’m fat!
DOC: Mrs. Wormwood you’re 9 months pregnant. You’re going to have a baby.
MRS. W: What! But I already got a baby! What about the Golden Shoe!?
REPEAT CHORUS
ALL: My mummy says I'm a miracle. That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball.
You can be all cynical, but it's a truth empirical.
There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle as me!
DOC: A baby, Mrs. Wormwood, is the most precious gift that the world can bestow
upon us. A life, a wonderful new person is about to come into your life to bring you
magic, and happiness and... MRS. W: Aww, bloddy L.
DOCTOR: Every life I bring into this world restores my faith in humankind.
(Push, Mrs. Wormwood, Push) (I’ll push you in a minute) Each new-born life, a
canvas yet unpainted... This still unbroken skin...This uncorrupted mind...
ALL: Every life is unbelievably unlikely. (unlikely)
The chances of existence, almost infinitely small. (infinitely small)
The most common thing in life is life,
And yet every single life bearing new life is a miracle! Miracle!
MR. W: Where is he? Where’s my son?
DOC: Mr. Wormwood are you smoking a cigarette?
MRS. W: Hey, who won, was it Jennifer Littleton?
MR. W: Oh my word, he’s an ugly little thing isn’t he?
DOC: Sir, this is the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen.

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MR. W: Wait! What have you done with his “thingy”?

DOC: Mr. Wormwood, this child is a girl.
MR. W: I don’t suppose we could just do a little switcharoo for a boy, could we?
MRS. W: Oh, my undercarriage doesn't feel quite normal. My skin looks just
revolting in this foul fluorescent light, And this gown is nothing like the semi-formal,
semi-Spanish gown I should be wearing in the semi-finals tonight.
ALL: Every little life is unbelievably unlikely. The chances of existence, almost
infinitely small. The most common thing in life is life, And yet every single life
bearing new life is a miracle! Miracle! Miracle!
My mummy says I’m a miracle, one look at my face and it’s plain to see.
Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, It's been clear there's no peer
for a miracle like me! My mummy says I'm a miracle. That I'm as tiny and as shiny
as a mirror ball. You can be all cynical, but it's a truth empirical. There's never been
a miracle, a miracle, a miracle as me!
MATILDA #1: My mummy says I'm a lousy little worm. My daddy says I'm a bore.
My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ,That kids like me should be against
the law.

Scene 2
MR. W: That's right, sir. One hundred and fifty-five brand new luxury cars, sir. Are
they good runners? Oh, let's put it this way. You wouldn't beat them in a race! [He
laughs] talking about?
MRS W: (she screams) Harry! MR W: [to the phone] Hang on.
MRS W: Look at this. She's reading a book. That's not normal for a five-year-old. I
think she might be an idiot.
MATILDA #1: Listen to this: "It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. It
was the age of wisdom . . . “ (MRS W screams again)
MR W: Stop scaring your mother with that book, boy. MATILDA #1: I’m a girl!
MRS W: And she keeps trying to tell me stories, Harry. Stories. Who wants stories?
I mean, it's just not normal for a girl to be all . . . "thinking".
MR W: [to the phone] I'm gonna call you straight back. [to MRS WORMWOOD]
Would you please be quiet? I am trying to pull off the biggest business deal of my
life and I have to listen to this. It's your fault. You spend us into trouble and you
expect me to get us out.
MRS. W: Well I never! I am off to bleach my roots . . . and I shan't be talking to
you for the rest of the evening, you horrid little man!
MR W: But I'm gonna make us rich! MRS W: Rich? How rich?
MR W: Oh, very rich. Your genius husband is going to sell them one hundred and
fifty five knackered old bangers as brand-new luxury cars.
MATILDA #1: But that's not fair! The cars will break down!
MR W: ”Fair." Listen to the boy. MATILDA #1: I’m a girl!
MR W: This is your fault. With your stupid books and your stupid reading.
MATILDA #1: What? But I didn't do anything. That's not right.

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MR W: "Right"? [He laughs.] You're off to school in a few days' time and you won't
be getting "right" there. See, I know your headmistress. Agatha Trunchbull.

And I've told her all about you and your smarty-pants ideas. Great, big, strong,
scary woman she is. Used to compete in the Olympics, throwing the hammer!
Imagine what she is going to do to a horrible, squeaky little goblin like you, boy.
MATILDA #1: I’m a girl!
(MATILDA runs into her bedroom, flings the door open, and climbs onto her
bookshelf. She opens a book.)

#2 - NAUGHTY
MATILDA #2: Jack and Jill, went up the hill, To fetch a pail of water, so they say

Their subsequent fall was inevitable, They never stood a chance, they were written
that way, Innocent victims of their story!
Jane: Like Romeo and Juliet, T'was written in the stars before they even met

Alice: That love and fate, and a touch of stupidity, Would rob them of their hope of
living happily, BOTH: The endings are often a little bit gory

Erika: I wonder why they didn't just change their story?

Lavender: We're told we have to do as we're told but surely

ALL: Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty.
Just because you find that life's not fair it, Doesn’t mean that you just have to grin
and bear it, If you always take it on the chin and wear it, Nothing will change.
Even if you're little you can do a lot, you Mustn't let a little thing like, 'little' stop
you, If you sit around and let them get on top, you, might as well be saying, You
think that it's ok, And that's not right! And if it's not right! You have to put it right!
(MATILDA picks up various bottles from the vanity and reads from their labels.)
MATILDA #2: Platinum blonde hair dye. Extra strong. Keep out of reach of
children. Hmm. Oil of Violets hair tonic. For men. Yep!
(MATILDA starts pouring the hair dye into the Oil of Violets bottle.)
In the slip of a bolt, there's a tiny revolt, The seeds of a war in the creak of a
floorboard, A storm can begin, with the flap of a wing, The tiniest might packs the
mightiest sting! Every day starts with the tick of a clock, All escapes start with the
click of a lock! If you're stuck in your story and want to get out, You don't have to
cry, you don't have to shout!
Even if you're little, you can do a lot, you Mustn't let a little thing like, 'little' stop
you, If you sit around and let them get on top, you won't change a thing
Just because you find that life's not fair it, Doesn’t mean that you just have to grin
and bear it! If you always take it on the chin and wear it
You might as well be saying, You think that it's okay, And that's not right!
And if it's not right! You have to put it right!
But nobody else is gonna put it right for me, Nobody but me is gonna change my
story, Sometimes you have to be a little bit, naughty

Scene 3
(MR WORMWOOD, towel wrapped about his shoulder, enters the bathroom)

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MR W: In business, good hair means a good brain. Now, the secret to my success
in business is – MATILDA #2: Secrets.
MR W: Yes. Yes. Secrets. The secret to my success is this. Oil of Violets hair tonic
for men. Oh, yeah. Oh, That's the bananas right there. [He rips the towel off to
reveal that his hair is green.] A man in business simply cannot fail to get noticed
when he looks like this. (MRS WORMWOOD enters and screams.)
MRS W: Your hair! It's . . . green! (MATILDA enters with a mirror)
MR W: Oh my word! It is green! MRS W: What on earth did you do that for?
MATILDA #2: Maybe you used some of mummy's peroxide by mistake.
MRS W: That's exactly what you've done.
MR W: I’ve got my big deal today! What am I gonna do?
MATILDA#2: I know. You can pretend you're an elf!
MR W: You fool! The boy's a looney. MATILDA#2: I’m a girl!
MRS W: Go on. Creep on back to that library of yours or something. The sooner
you're locked up in that school, the better.

Scene 4
MRS PHELPS: Matilda! Good to see you. Here in the library again, are we?
MATILDA #3: Yes. I mean, my mum wanted me to stay at home with her. She
hates it when I go out. Dad too. They love having me around. But I think it's good
for grown-ups to have their own space.
MRS PHELPS: Your parents must be so proud to have a girl as clever as you. Any
stories today?
MATILDA #3: Well sure! Once upon a time –

Scene 5
MISS HONEY: Good morning, children! My name is Miss Honey. And today is a
very special day: your first day of kindergarten! Now, do any of you know any of
your two times tables? (MATILDA raises her hand.) Wonderful. Matilda, isn't it?
Please, stand, and do as much as you can.
MATILDA #1: One times two is two. Two times two is four. Three times two is six.
Four times two is eight. Five times two is ten. Six times two is twelve.
MISS HONEY: Well, my word . . .
MATILDA #1: Fourteen times two is twenty-eight. Fifteen times two is thirty.
Sixteen times two is thirty-two.
MISS HONEY: Stop. Stop! Good heavens. How far can you go?
MATILDA #1: I don't know. Quite a long way, I think.
MISS HONEY: Do you think you could tell me what two times twenty-eight is?
MATILDA: Fifty-six.
MISS HONEY: Yes. That is correct. . . Now, this is much harder, so don't worry if
you don't get it. Two times . . . four hundred and eighty-seven. Take your time –
MATILDA #1: Nine hundred and seventy-four. (CHILDREN start chattering.]

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MISS HONEY: Let’s look at reading. Now, can anyone read this?
NIGEL: Ooh, me, me, me, miss! I can! Me, me, me, me.
MISS HONEY: Very well. Nigel. (NIGEL groans in agony several times.)
MISS HONEY: Okay. I think we'd better leave it there, Nigel. We don't want to
burst a blood vessel on your first day. Lavender?
LAVENDER: Is the first word . . . "tomato"?
MISS HONEY: No. But the "tomato" is a very good word. LAVENDER: Yesss!
MISS HONEY: Matilda? MATILDA #2: ”I can now read words."
MISS HONEY: So, Matilda. You can read words.
MATILDA #1: Yes. Well, I needed to learn to read words so that I could read
sentences. Because basically a sentence is just a big bunch of words. And if you
can't read sentences, you've got no chance with books.
MISS HONEY: And . . . have you read a whole book? Yourself, Matilda?
MATILDA #1: Oh, yes. A few! Oliver Twist . . . Jane Eyre . . . The Lord of the Rings
. . . The Secret Garden . . . Crime and Punishment . . . and . . . Cat in the Hat!
(The school bell rings and all the children march out. )

Scene 6
MISS HONEY: Knock on the door, Jenny. Just knock on the door. Don't be pathetic!
(MISS HONEY knocks three times and winces.) TRUNCH: Enter!
TRUNCH: Don't just stand there like a wet tissue. Get on with it.
MISS HONEY: Yes. Yes. Miss Trunchbull. There's, erm . . . In . . . In . . . In my
class, that is, er, there is a little girl called Matilda Wormwood. And –
TRUNCH: Daughter of Mr Harry Wormwood who owns Wormwood Motors. Excellent
man. Told me to watch out for the brat, though; says she's a real wart.
MISS HONEY: Oh no, Headmistress. Matilda Wormwood is a genius!
TRUNCH: Nonsense. Haven't I just told you that she is a gangster?
MISS HONEY: She knows her times tables and well, she can read!
TRUNCH: So can I!
MISS HONEY: Well . . . in . . . in my opinion, this little girl should be placed in the
top form with the eleven-year-olds!
TRUNCH: What? But she is a a shrimp. An unhatched tadpole. We cannot simply
place her in the top form with the eleven-year-olds. What about rules, Honey!
MISS HONEY: I believe that . . . Matilda is an exception . . . to the rules.
TRUNCH: An exception. In my school?

#3 - THE HAMMER
TRUNCH: Look at these trophies. See how my trophies gleam in the sunlight?
See how they shine? What do you think it took to become English Hammer
Throwing Champion 1969? Do you think in that moment, when my big moment
came, That I treated the rules with casual disdain? Well? Like hell!

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As I stepped up to the circle, did I change my plan? Hm? What? 


As a chalked up my palms, did I wave my hands? I did not! 

As I started my spin, did I look at the view?
Did I drift off and dream for a minute or two? 

Do you think I faltered or amended my rotation? 

Do you think I altered my intended elevation? 

As the hammer took off, did I change my grunt

From the grunt I had practiced for many a month? Not a jot! 

Not a dot did I stray from the plot.
Not a detail of my throw was adjusted or forgotten. 

Not even when the hammer left my hands, And sailed high up, up above the stands

Did I let myself go. No, no, no, no [ad lib.]
If you want to throw the hammer for your country, You have to stay inside the circle
all the time. And if you want to make the team, You don't need happiness or self-
esteem. You just need to keep your feet inside the line.
Sing, children. Two, three, four.
ALL: If you want to throw the ham-mer for your country.
You have to stay inside the circle – TRUNCH: all the time.
TRUNCH: And if you want to teach success, You don't use sympathy or tenderness.
ALL: Ahh, Tenderness.
MISS TRUNCHBULL: You have to force the little squits to toe the line! Sing, Jenny!
Two, three, four!
ALL: If you want to throw the hammer for your country,
You have to stay inside the circle all the time.
TRUNCH: Apply just one simple rule, To hammer throwing, life, and school –

Life's a ball, so learn to throw it, Find the bally line and toe it,

And always keep your feet inside the line! Now get out!

Scene 7
ALICE: Matilda? Can I ask you a question? Do all those brains in your head give
you a headache? I mean, it's got to hurt, all squished in there.
MATILDA#2: (reading) No, it's fine. I think they just – fit.
ALICE: Right. Well, I'd better hang around just in case. If they start to squeeeeze
out of your ears, you're going to need help. I'm Alice, and I think it's probably for
the best if we're best friends! 

Erika: Hide me! Someone poured a whole can of syrup onto Trunchbull's chair. She
sat down, and when she got up . . . her knickers stayed stuck to the seat! Someone
told her I did it, but I never! And now she's after me!
MATILDA #2: That's not fair! That's not fair at all!
Marie: You’re done, kid. You're – ALL: Finished!
Summer: Once Agatha Trunchbull decides you're guilty, you're – ALL: Squished!
Nina: Yesterday, she caught Julius Rottwinkle eating a gobstopper during science.
She just picked him up, swung him around, and threw him out the – ALL: Window!

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MATILDA #2: Don’t listen to them. That didn't happen. They're trying to scare us.

Lucy: Oh, Matilda! They say she's going to put me in the Chokey!
MATILDA #2: What? . . . What's a Chokey?
Lavender: They say it's a cupboard in her office that she throws children into. They
say she's lined it with nails, and spikes, and bits of broken glass.
TRUNCHBULL: Inside quickly, all of you! I cannot for the life of me understand
why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately, just to
annoy me. My idea of a perfect school is one in which there are no children... at all.
Wouldn't you agree, Miss Honey?
MISS HONEY: Oh, I love the children Miss. Trunchbull.
TRUNCH: [Snorts, then pointing her riding crop at Amanda] Can you spell?
Jane: Miss Honey taught us how to spell a long word yesterday. We can spell
"difficulty".
TRUNCH: You couldn't spell "difficulty" if your life depended on it.
Lucy: She taught us with a poem.
TRUNCH: [mimicking Amanda with a high-pitched tone] A poem? How sweet. What
poem would that be?
Lucy: Mrs. D, Mrs. I...
ALL: [everyone joins in] Mrs. F-F-I. Mrs. C, Mrs. U, Mrs. L-T-Y!
TRUNCH: WHY ARE ALL THESE WOMEN MARRIED? Mrs. D? Mrs. I? You're supposed
to be teaching SPELLING, not poetry! Out of my sight, NOW!

Scene 8
(MATILDA holds her a dramatic pose, holding the large book above her head.)
MRS PHELPS: Well, what happened next?
MATILDA #2: I haven’t decided yet. I'll tell you tomorrow.
MRS PHELPS: What?! I don't know if my nerves will make it until tomorrow.
MATILDA #2: The ending will be good, I promise. Good-bye, Mrs Phelps.
MISS HONEY: Matilda? Could I speak to you for a moment, please? Starting
tomorrow, I shall bring a selection of very clever books that I think will challenge
your mind. If you have any questions, I shall do my best to answer them. How does
that sound? (MATILDA stares up at her for several long seconds then hugs her)
MISS HONEY: Matilda, that . . . That is the biggest hug in the world.
TRUNCH: Matilda Wormwood! MATILDA #2: Yes, Miss Trunchbull.
TRUNCH: So you admit it, do you? MATILDA #2: Admit what, Miss Trunchbull?
TRUNCH: This child is none other than a disgusting criminal! This morning, you
sneaked like a serpent into the kitchen and stole a slice of my private chocolate
cake from my tea tray. MATILDA #2: No, I did not!
MISS HONEY: Miss Trunchbull. Matilda's been here all morning.
TRUNCH: Standing up for the little spit-ball, are you? Well, this crime took place
before school started. And therefore, she is guilty! I shall crush you child . . . You
shall be destroyed. (BRYCE turns around and burps for a full ten seconds.)

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BRYCE: Okay! Look! All right! I stole the cake. And honestly, I was really, definitely,
sort of, almost thinking about owning up. Maybe. But the thing is, I am having a lot
of trouble with my belly. You see, the Trunchbull's cake was so good that I'd scoffed
it down too quick, and now it is beginning to fight back.
TRUNCH: Bruce Bogtrotter BRUCE: Yes Miss?
TRUNCH: You liked my cake didn’t you? BRUCE: I did, thank you!
TRUNCH: Oh wonderful, marvelous, that makes me so happy. It gives me a warm
glow in my lower intestines. Bring me the cake! What’s the matter Bogtrotter, lost
your appetite? BRUCE: But, I’m full.
TRUNCH: No buts! MISS HONEY: Headmistress he’ll be sick!
TRUNCH: He should have thought of that before he decided to steal my cake. Eat!
CHILDREN: He can’t! MISS TRUNCHBULL: Eat!
CHILDREN: He surely can’t! MISS TRUNCHBULL: Eat!
CHILDREN: He might explode! MISS TRUNCHBULL: Eat!!

#4 - BRUCE
Consider a slice, Or even two, Bruce...Might have been nice, But even you, Bruce,
Have to admit, Between you and it, There's not a lot of difference in size.
He can't! He surely can't! You are the man Bruce! He might explode. He’s quite
elastic. He’s going to blow. Make him stop! He’s fantastic. Look at him go!
I can’t watch! And we made a bet, This must confirm, Bruce, But we all suspected,
You have a worm, Bruce, Or maybe your largeness, is a bit like a TARDIS -
Considerably roomier inside.
GrA: He can't! / He surely can't! He surely can't!
GrB/C: He can! Bruce! / You are the man, Bruce!
ALL: B-R-O-O-C-E! Bruce! The time has come to put that tumbly tum to use.
You produce, Bruce, Fantastically enthusiastic gastric juice. Ohh...Eat it up. Lick it
up. Suck it up. Whatever you do, don’t chuck it up, And muck it up! Come on,
Bruce, be our hero! Cover yourself in chocolate glory! Bruce!

Scene 9
MATILDA #3: [to the FBI agents, in their car.] You two men are going to be in a
lot of trouble very soon.
BECS: [to her partner] It's the female minor.
BABS: Aren't you supposed to be in school, young lady?
MATILDA #3: I really hope you have a search warrant. According to a
constitutional law book that I read in the library, if you don't have one, you could
lose your job or even go to federal prison.
BABS: It's your father who's going to federal prison. And you know where you'll
end up?
BECS: In a federal orphanage.
BABS: If you cooperate, we'll make sure it's a nice orphanage.
BECS: The kind with food... and teeny-weeny cockroaches.

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BABS: What do you say? MATILDA #3: I say that sounds better than here.

#5 - WHEN I GROW UP
MATILDA #3: When I grow up, I will be tall enough to reach the branches
that I need to reach to climb the trees you get to climb when you're grown up.
MATILDA #1: And when I grow up, I will be smart enough to answer all the
questions that you need to know the answers to before you're grown up.
MATILDA #2: And when I grow up I will eat sweets every day on the way to work
and Iwill go to bed late every night!
MATILDAS: And I will wake up when the sun comes up and I will watch cartoons
until my eyes go square, and I won't care 'cause I'll be all grown up!
ALL: When I grow up!
GrB: When I grow up, GrA: when I grow up, ALL: When I grow up
ALL: I will be strong enough to carry all the heavy things you have to haul around
with you when you're a grown-up!
GrB: And when I grow up, GrA: when I grow up, ALL:When I grow up
ALL: I will be brave enough to fight the creatures that you have to fight beneath
the bed each night to be a grown-up!
GrB: And when I grow up GrA: When I grow up
ALL: I will have treats every day. And I'll play with things that mum pretends that
mums don't think are fun.
GrB: And I will wake up GrA: And I will wake up
ALL: When the sun comes up and I will spend all day just lying in the sun and I
won't burn 'cause I'll be all grown-up! When I grow up!
MISS HONEY: When I grow up, I will be brave enough to fight the creatures

That you have to fight, Beneath the bed each night, To be a grown up. When I grow
up . . .
MATILDA #1: Just because you find that life's not fair, it doesn't mean that you
just have to grin and bear it. If you always take it on the chin and wear it, 

Nothing will change. MISS HONEY: When I grow up . . .
MATILDAS: Just because I find myself in this story, It doesn't mean that
everything is written for me. If I think the ending is fixed already, I might as well be
saying, I think that it's okay, And that's not right!

Scene 10
TRUNCH: Amanda Thripp! AMANDA: Yes, Miss Trunchbull?
TRUNCH: What are those? AMANDA: What's what, Ms. Trunchbull?
TRUNCH: Hanging down by your ears. AMANDA: You mean my pigtails?
TRUNCH: Are you a pig, Amanda? AMANDA: No, Ms. Trunchbull.
TRUNCH: Do I allow pigs in my school?
AMANDA: My mommy thinks they're sweet.
TRUNCH: Your mommy... is a TWIT!
LAVENDER: Look! A newt! Can you see? I'm going to – TRUNCH: Quiet!

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(LAVENDER drops the newt into the water.)


TRUNCH: I am here to teach you snivelling little – Newt! There's a newt inside my,
MISS HONEY: Children, please! Quiet!
TRUNCH: You! ERICA: No, not me! I didn't!
TRUNCH: You did this, you repulsive little sinner! (she grabs her ear)
MISS HONEY: No, Miss Trunchbull, don't, please. You'll pull his ear off!
MATILDA #2: Leave him alone! You big bully!
TRUNCH: How dare you! You ought to be in the deepest, dankest, darkest prison! I
shall crush you. Yes, you! I shall feed you to the termites. And then I shall smash
the termites into tiny fragments . . .(Everything freezes)

#6 - QUIET
MATILDA #2: Have you ever wondered, well, I have, About how when I say,
say, “red" for example, There's no way of knowing, If red means the same thing in
your head, As red means in my head, When someone says “red". And how, if we
are travelling at, Almost the speed of light, And we're holding a light, That light
would still travel away from us, At the full speed of light. Which seems right, In a
way. But I'm trying to say – I'm not sure, But I wonder if inside my head, I'm not
just a bit different from some of my friends. These answers that come into my
mind, unbidden; These stories delivered to me fully-written.
MATILDAS: And when everyone shouts (like they seem to like shouting)

The noise in my head is incredibly loud. And I just wish they'd stop,

My dad and my mum, And the telly, And stories would stop for just once.
And I'm sorry, But I'm not quite explaining it right. But this noise becomes anger,

And the anger is light. And this burning inside me would usually fade,
But it isn't today. And the heat and the shouting – And my heart is pounding –

And my eyes are burning – And suddenly, everything, everything is – Quiet.

SMALL GROUPS: Like silence, but not really silent. Just that still sort of Quiet.

Like the sound of a page being turned in a book. Or a pause in a walk in the woods.
Quiet. Like silence, but not really silent. Just that nice kind of Quiet.

Like the sound when you lie upside-down in your bed.
Just the sound of your heart in your head.
MATILDAS: And though the people around me – Their mouths are still moving –

The words they are forming cannot reach me anymore. And it is quiet.

And I am warm. Like I've sailed – Into the eye of the storm.
(MATILDA focuses her attention on the cup of water that MISS TRUNCHBULL is
standing near.) MATILDA #2: Tip! Go on, tip! Tip over! Tip over!
TRUNCH: – miserable collection of excuses for children, and you, madam, what are
you squinting at? What is it? Ahh, There’s something on me. Get it off! [She pauses
in horror.] I've got a newt in my knickers! I've got a newt in my knickers!
[She runs off stage. The CHILDREN cheer and run off.]
MATILDA #2: Miss Honey, I moved it with my eyes. Am I strange?
MISS HONEY: I think . . . How do you fancy a nice cup of tea?
MATILDA: What do you think it is? This thing with my eyes.

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MISS HONEY: Well, I'm not going to pretend I know what it is, Matilda. But I don't
believe it's something you should be frightened of. I think it's something to do with
that incredible mind of yours.
MATILDA #2: Miss Honey, Are you poor?
MISS HONEY: Er, yes. Yes, I am Matilda. You see, I . . . I used to live with my
aunt. But one day I was out walking, and I . . . I came across this old shed.
MATILDA #2: (looking around) But Miss Honey, you can't live in a shed!
MISS HONEY: I’m not strong like you, Matilda. You see, my father died when I was
young. Magnus was his name, he called me his bumblebee. But, well, when he was
gone, my aunt became my legal guardian. She was cruel and horrible like you can
hardly imagine. And when I got my job as a teacher, she suddenly presented me
with a bill for looking after me all those years - Every tea bag, every electricity bill,
every tin of beans. And she made me sign a contract to pay her back every penny.
She even produced a document to say that my father had given her his entire
house.
MATILDA #2: Did he really do that? Magnus. Did he really just give her his house?
MISS HONEY: All I know is that years of being bullied by that woman made
me . . . pathetic! I was trapped.
MATILDA #2: And that's why you live here. Well we’re going to get your house
back. I promise.

TRUNCH: Inside quickly, run, now I am here to teach you all a lesson. Sometimes
in life horrible and unexplainable things happen which are a test of character. Form
a line across the room, quickly, run, run, run, don’t keep me waiting! Fill this gap!
MISS HONEY: Headmistress may I...
TRUNCH: No you may not. A child came to my house yesterday and was wearing
this ribbon. Now, who does this disgusting ribbon belong too!? (throws it down,
stomps on it and spits)
MISS HONEY: Miss Trunchbull, I was at your house yesterday, it was me.
TRUNCH: I have broken your arm once and I will do it again, Jenny!
MISS HONEY: I am not 6 years old anymore Aunt Trunchbull! (Gasp)
Summer: The chalk! Look, the chalk! TRUNCH: What? Marie: It’s moving.
Kara: It's moving! It's . . . It's writing something.
TRUNCH: Who’s doing this? :No one. No one's doing anything.
ALL: Ag - a - tha. Agatha. This - is - Magnus. TRUNCH: He can't. He can't!
ALL: Give my little bumblebee her house. Then get out of town.
TRUNCH: No. No, no, no, no, no.
ALL: If you don't, I will get you like you got me. That is a promise.
ALL: Run! Run! RUN! [etc.]

#7 - REVOLTING CHILDREN
Nigel: Woah! Never again will she get the best of me!
Never again will she take away my freedom.

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ALL: And we won't forget the day we fought, For the right to be a little bit naughty!
Never again will The Chokey door slam! Never again will I be bullied, and Never
again will I doubt it when My mummy says I'm a miracle! Never again!
Never again will we live behind bars! Never again now that we know...
We are revolting children, Living in revolting times
We sing revolting songs, Using revolting rhymes.
We'll be revolting children, 'Til our revolting's done,
And we'll have the Trunchbull bolting. We're revolting! RRR! (REPEAT)
We will become a screaming horde!
Take out your hockey stick, and use it as a sword!
Never again will we be ignored! We'll find out where the chalk is stored,
And draw rude pictures on the board! It's not insulting; we're revolting!
We can S-P-L how we like! If enough of us are wrong is right!
Every word N-O-R-T-Y... 'Cause we're a little bit naughty!
You say we oughta 'stay inside the line'... If we disobey at the same time,
There is nothing that the Trunchbull can do! She can take her hammer and S-H-U.
You didn't think you could push us too far, But there's no going back now, we..
R-E-V-O-L-T-I-N (Come on!) We're S-I-N-G...U-S-I-N-G...
We'll be R-E-V-O-L-T-I-N-G. It is 2-L-8-4-U. E-R-E-volting!

Scene 11
Amanda: So there you have it Bruce: Miss Trunchbull was never seen again.
Becs: The Chokeys were immediately destroyed,
Babs: and a new headmistress took over.
Summer: Her name was . . . ALL: Miss Honey.
Jane: And it is often said that it was the best school in all the land.
Alice: Matilda was never again able to move things with her eyes.
Lavender: she said it was because she no longer had a need for superpowers.
Nigel: The Wormwoods had to flee the country due to a shady deal.
Marie: So Miss Honey offered to look after Matilda.
Lucy: Not all stories have a happy ending, but this one turned out alright.

#6 - WHEN I GROW UP REPRISE

When I grow up (When I grow up, when I grow up)
I will be tall enough to reach the branches, That I need to reach to climb the tree
You get to climb when you're grown up
And when I grow up (When I grow up, when I grow up)
I will be smart enough to answer all the questions That you need to know the
answers to Before you're grown up
And when I grow up (And when I grow up) I will eat sweets every day

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On the way to work and I will go to bed late every night.

And I will wake up, When the sun comes up, and I Will watch cartoons until my
eyes go square, And I won't care 'cause I'll be all grown up. When I grow up...
Even if you're little you can do a lot, you Mustn't let a little thing like 'little' stop
you. If you sit around and let them get on top, you Won't change a thing...
Just because you find that life's not fair, it Doesn't mean that you just have to grin
and bear it. If you always take it on the chin and wear it,
You might as well be saying you think that it's OK. And that's not right.
And if it's not right, you have to put it right.
But nobody else is gonna put it right for me.
Nobody but me is gonna change my story.
Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty.

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