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The prison of your mind | Sean Stephenson | TEDxIronwoodStatePrison
4,221,039 views•Jun 13, 2014
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00:00
Transcriber: Phuong Cao Reviewer: Denise RQ
00:00
I'm trying to compose my blog post for tonight,
00:04
and I'm thinking it sounds really believable
00:07
that I went to prison and hugged a bunch of really nice prisoners,
00:13
while a DJ busy, threw on some records,
00:17
and Richard Branson told me where I can score some free heroin.
00:21
(Laughter)
00:23
(Applause)
00:33
True story!
00:35
(Laughter)
00:43
Lesson number one:
00:46
never believe a prediction that doesn't empower you.
00:54
When I was born, the doctors told my parents
00:57
that I would be dead within the first 24 hours of my life.
01:04
35 years later, all those doctors are dead
01:09
(Laughter)
01:17
and I am the only doctor that remains.
01:22
(Laughter)
01:23
(Applause)
01:28
Never believe a prediction that doesn't empower you.
01:32
How many predictions have been thrown at you your whole life?
01:37
If you believe predictions that do not empower you,
01:41
you will wither away and die,
01:45
either physically die or your spirit will die
01:49
as you just walk around the world like a carcass
01:53
that is just following the masses.
02:00
You'll be given a lot of titles in your life,
02:03
you'll be told so many different things.
02:07
You must only listen to that which empowers you.
02:12
I have a belief that has served me in my life,
02:15
and that is that everyone is rooting from me to win,
02:19
even those that do not know it.
02:23
And I'm not here today to tell you that I've had adversity in my life
02:28
and therefore, I know what you are going through.
02:30
I don't have a clue what any of you are going through in your lives.
02:36
I did not grow up in your neighborhoods more than likely.
02:39
I did not have your set of parents, nor do I live in your body.
02:44
I've not had the events that you've had happened to you.
02:48
I can tell you I am only an expert on one thing,
02:53
and that's how to be me, and I do it well.
02:57
(Applause)
03:04
But it's not come easily,
03:08
I've gone through things that I don't wish upon anyone in this room.
03:14
I've had metal rods pulled out of bone marrow while I was awake,
03:18
I've had jaw infections where teeth had to be extracted
03:21
and I can no longer chew my own food.
03:24
I have to get up everyday,
03:27
and be showered and cared for physically by another human being;
03:32
fortunately, she's a gorgeous woman that I married.
03:35
(Applause)
03:41
I get stared at everywhere I go,
03:43
and the moment people meet me,
03:45
if they don't know a thing about my résumé,
03:48
they automatically, just by the human nature, think to themselves:
03:53
"Oh, it must be so difficult to be that man!"
03:59
If somebody pities me, they're wasting their time,
04:03
because I have chosen a life of strength,
04:07
I am here to help you choose a life of strength,
04:10
but I'm going to tell you, we've talked about drugs here.
04:14
You know what the worst drug that ever hit the human race is?
04:19
Pity.
04:21
The moment you feel sorry for another person
04:24
or the moment you feel sorry for yourself, you're hosed.
04:27
You're totally, completely frozen in potential.
04:32
We can not pity ourselves, we can not pity you.
04:37
Yes, I get to go home today, yes, I get to have what many would call freedom,
04:45
but I'm going to talk to you about freedom
04:48
about what I really choose to see freedom as,
04:51
because like I said,
04:53
you can not believe predictions that do not empower you!.
04:56
The second lesson today is you are not your condition.
05:01
You're not.
05:02
I'm not disabled!
05:04
Sure, I'll take the handicapped parking privileges
05:08
(Laughter)
05:11
but that does not define me as a man.
05:15
Not able?
05:16
I've been looked at and treated my whole life as if I am not able.
05:21
I have had to rise above and show people
05:23
that the only disability is one's refusal to adapt.
05:28
You have to adapt to whatever environment you're in,
05:32
even if it's prison.
05:34
And what does adaption look like? I think it looks like celebration.
05:38
Because when you meet people that are celebrating their life,
05:41
you want to be around them, you want to learn from them,
05:44
you want to do business with them, you want to hire them.
05:46
Look! If you do not want to be seen as a prisoner or a convict
05:50
when you get out of this, or even while you're in this,
05:53
there is an attitude,
05:55
it is a belief in yourself that you bring value to the human race,
05:59
no matter what your current condition, title, or stature is.
06:05
Because if I believe that I am disabled, I would wither up, I would be shy,
06:11
I would be insecure, I would be afraid, I would act like I need your help.
06:16
And the rest of humanity would be OK with that,
06:20
but I choose something else,
06:22
I choose to be strong, I choose to be a leader,
06:25
I choose to have words to move this planet,
06:28
I'll tell you why I was born.
06:31
And I hope it inspires you to find out why you were born.
06:35
I was born to rid this world of insecurity.
06:39
Because when a human being is insecure, they do stupid stuff.
06:43
When we feel like we're not enough,
06:46
we chase external validation, and external objects
06:51
to try to tell us we're enough.
06:53
(Applause)
06:54
Thank you.
07:01
You are enough.
07:02
I'll tell you I've made a pledge of the therapist
07:05
to love all human beings, no matter what they've done.
07:10
Because deep down inside,
07:11
I found that every human being just wants to be loved,
07:16
even if they're tough, even if they're scary,
07:18
even if they're vicious.
07:20
You get them in the right position, at the right time,
07:23
they'll tell you the truth.
07:24
They just want to be loved.
07:26
Do you know whom they want the love from the most?
07:28
Not their moms, not their dads, not their wardens.
07:31
None of these people.
07:32
They want to be able to look in the mirror and love themselves.
07:35
And if you can figure that out, then you're going somewhere.
07:38
(Applause)
07:46
But you can not feel sorry for yourself.
07:49
When you feel sorry for yourself, you will wither.
07:52
But there's a contradiction to feeling sorry for yourself,
07:57
it's the opposite extreme, it's what I call 'bullying yourself, '
08:02
beating yourself up, being your own enemy and telling yourself
08:08
that all those predictions, those negative opinions
08:10
that they're true, they're right, you're washed up, failure.
08:13
You're not going to amount to anything.
08:15
Bullying yourself is the most dangerous thing that you could do.
08:19
You can not afford to pity yourself, you can not afford to bully yourself,
08:24
you have to love yourself,
08:26
because the last lesson that I'm going to share with you today
08:32
that is I'm going to teach you what the real prison is,
08:37
it's not surrounded by bar, wire, or electrical fences,
08:41
the real prisons do not have guards,
08:46
the real prison's up here.
08:49
And we all got it,
08:53
we all have a mind that chatters, so often won't stop chattering.
09:01
Do you know where your salvation is? It's not outside these walls.
09:09
I've met so many people that are so extremely successful and famous,
09:14
that are in prison,
09:17
because they're stuck in their minds,
09:21
bullying themselves, pitying themselves.
09:26
True freedom is dropping down out of that mind.
09:29
And what my wife has taught me is to drop into your hearts.
09:37
in the mastering this beating thing
09:39
that is more than just sending blood to the extremities.
09:42
What is it doing?
09:44
It's sending emotional possibilities, infinite possibilities of choice
09:48
in our behavior, in our life, in our attitude.
09:54
When you love yourself,
09:57
whether you're sleeping on a prison cot, or in a mansion,
10:02
whether you have food in your belly,
10:04
or you don't know when your next meal is coming,
10:07
when you love yourself,
10:09
when you learn to master your emotions,
10:12
then and only then are you free.
10:15
I love you, each and everyone of you, and I wish you freedom within these walls.
10:20
God bless.
10:21
(Applause)
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