Introduction
Marriage is a sacred bond between two souls, a relationship in which a male and a female
promise to be companions for a life span.
Definition An arranged marriage is a marriage in which neither the bride or the groom has any official
say over the selection of their future spouses.
Arranged marriages are marriages which are negotiated primarily by the parents of the couple, rather
than the couple themselves
The girl's/boy's parents investigate the family background before initiating the talks
between the elders in the families.
A love marriage is a marriage arranged by the individuals themselves. In a love marriage
the couple get to know each other without introduction from a third-party such as go-
betweens, friends, or their parents, although an introduction by a common friend which
later leads to marriage can still be considered as a (qualified) love match.
Unlike in the arranged marriage, a love match includes a dating and a courtship period
that precedes the proposal. During their dating period, if their affections grow the man and
the woman invite each other to their homes and introduce their date to their parents an
exact opposite of the arranged marriage introduction where the parents introduce the girl to
the man.
The basic difference between a love marriage and an arranged marriage is that, in a love
marriage the boy and the girl have had sufficient time to get to know each other during the
days of their courtship. In an arranged marriage since meetings between the boy and girl
are not often, getting to know each other begins after the wedding.
WHY ARRENGED MARRIAGE IS PRACTICAL IN MALAYSIA
Western countries do not trust upon arranged marriages because they believe these marriages restrict
personal freedom,
1. young adults unable or unwilling to spend the time and effort necessary to find spouses on their
own. In such cases, the parents become welcome partners in a hunt for their future son/dauther
in law.
2. find future husband or wife is the last duty of a parent to his or her son or daughter. The parent
felt that they the one who are responsible to do arranges marriages before they die.
3. some cultures, arranged marriage is a tradition handed down through many generations.
Parents who take their son or daughter's marriage into their own hands have themselves been
married by the same process.
4. The children respect their parent very much. They obey whatever decision of their parent make
for him/her
disadvantages arranged marriages
1. arranged marriages are seen as a medium to promote racism and class system.
Arranged marriages are perfectly matched because they belong to the same culture, share the
same religious and same language, and raised in more or less the same socio-economic class.
Therefore the boundary of social will form between races and hierarchy because of the
differences they have. It also will retard the diversity of family.
2. In arranged marriages, Two unknown people get married without knowing and understanding
each other before marriage. As such, chances of not gelling well with the partner are very high.
therefore, there would hardly be a mutual level of understanding between the two and life
would be merely a compromise for the two.
3. The children will rebel when they are force to get married although their children do not want
to. A forced marriage can be an unpleasant experience for both parties, especially when they
belong to a culture which does not permit divorce. Women, especially, can be victims of forced
marriages ..
Advantages of arranged married
1. The marriage is blessed by the parents. Because of the marriage is plan by the parent, the
parent absolutely like their son or daughter in law and there is no conflict between them.
One the other hand, in love marriage, the son or daughter in law have to try hard if their
parents don’t agree with the relation. For example rita rudaini and aidil zafuan. Their marriage is
based on love. The family does not bless their marriages. As a result their marriage has the
conflict.
2. There is the beauty of the mystery and excitement that surrounds an arranged marriage.
Husband and wife do not know each other. In the beginning of marriages, there is the “getting-
to-know-you” phase. The mystery of not knowing how the person is going to turn out, the
excitement that is faced when one finds out how much they really have in common with the
other half. Therefore there are full of color throughout the marriages.
3. It is the believe that parents can be trusted to make a match that is in the best interests of their
children. The parents have much practical experience to draw from and not be misguided by
emotions. Relying on family to select a potential spouse can be considered an advantage as they
have years of wisdom and experience. Furthermore the parents wants to provide their children
with protection, security and happiness.
4. it can avoid sosial problem. Because of the couple do not has courtship phase, they rarely see
each other before marriage, this will avoiding from violation of religious and culture. On the
other hand, when the the lover couples do not restrain the boundary between man and
woman it will cause social problem.
5. Avoiding from being a overstay single. the parent will arrange their children marriage at early
age. It can help the children who cannot find their partner on themselves.
Conclusion
Relationships are the most important things in life. And marriage is one of the most important
relationships. Marriage as we can see is a commitment of spending the rest of our life with
someone. This has a great impact on our life, career and personality. So the question So, should
we let our parents decide so much for us?
So there is nothing like an ideal marriage it’s all about the way you perceive your marriage. The
target is the happiness and stability of the relation in the marriage whether it is love or arranged.
