Wedding Ceremony

of
Phil Keisman
& Sarah Wolf
July 5, 2020
WELCOME!
Welcome to our wedding! We want to first honor that fact that the
majority of you reading this are not physically with us today, and that
this is a strange time for a simcha (joyous celebration). Please know
that we have all of you in our hearts, and while we wish we could all
be together in one place safely today, we are feeling your love and
support on this amazing day.

We constructed our ceremony with two central values in mind: we

believe that Jewish tradition and ritual has force and helps
guide our lives, and we believe in equality regardless of gender.
Our ceremony features a few departures from what you might expect
at a Jewish wedding, while also remaining grounded in elements of
halacha (Jewish law) that are authentic and enable us to have a
ceremony that reflects our expression of these values. We are grateful
to our two amazing officiants for helping us with these aspects of our
ceremony: Rabbi Barry Dov Katz, who is a rabbi and good friend to
Phil and his parents in Riverdale; and Rabbi Sarah Mulhern, who is a
dear friend to both of us from Brandeis, Washington Heights, and the
Jewish professional world.

We are also so grateful to our parents, without whom none of this

would have been possible:

Irene Smookler and Howard Keisman

Rebecca Kornblatt

Bob Wolf and Ilene Masser

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ORDER OF EVENTS
Bedeken
The bedeken, Yiddish for “covering,” often refers to the moment when
one marriage partner covers the other’s face with a veil. It is often
associated with two moments in the Hebrew Bible: When Rebecca
covered her face out of modesty before Isaac, and when Jacob failed
to check to see he was marrying Rachel and ending up marrying Leah
instead. Regardless of origin, a ritual of face covering in Jewish
weddings goes at least as far back as 3rd century Palestine. Sarah
and Phil honor this ritual in two ways. Sarah will help Phil with his
covering - a kittel, a garment which is traditionally worn at solemn
moments, including on Yom Kippur - and each will help the other with
an additional appropriate face covering for our current moment.

Birkat Kohanim
After the bedeken, Sarah and Phil’s parents will recite the Priestly
Blessing, asking God to protect the couple as they embark on this next
phase of their lives together. Phil and Sarah will then sign their
ketubah (see below).

Nedarim and Exchange of Rings

Sarah and Phil enact their bond through nedarim, ritual vows. The
neder (vow) has significant power in halacha—the liturgy on Yom
Kippur includes a request to nullify the binding power of vows we may
not have kept, Kol Nidrei. Our vows are designed to be predicated

2
upon an exchange of rings. The text of the vows holds that we will be
faithful to one another as partners in accordance with Jewish law.

Ketubah
The ketubah is a financial contract between marriage partners. In
Talmudic times, this document concretized the responsibilities and
obligations that the male partner had towards the female partner,
using legal language in Aramaic (the lingua franca of the period). We
have kept the legal formulas and binding nature of the document,
while also including bilateral responsibilities that Sarah and Phil hold
towards each other. Rabbi Sarah Mulhern will read the text of the
Ketubah aloud under the chuppah.

Sheva Berachot
These seven blessings are first reported in the Babylonian Talmud, but
they may even be centuries older. These blessings help sanctify the
marriage, both under the chuppah and at subsequent wedding meals,
by imagining the couples’ connection in terms of the world-building
love felt by the first couple in the Garden of Eden. After Rabbi Katz and
Rabbi Mulhern recite the blessings in Hebrew, our family members
(who may be harder to hear) will read the English translations below.

I. Sanctifying the day over wine

‫לם‬
ָ ‫העוֹ‬
ָ &‫ל‬
ֶ ‫מ‬
ֶ ‫הינוּ‬
ֵ /‫א‬
ֱ ָ ‫י‬-ְ ‫תּה י‬
ָ ‫א‬
ַ & ‫בּ רוּ‬
ָ
.‫פן‬
ֶ ָ‫הגּ‬
ַ ‫פִּרי‬
ְ ‫בּוֵֹרא‬

Baruch Ata Adonai, Eloheinu Melech HaOlam,

Boreh Pri HaGafen.

3
 You are blessed, Adonai, our God, Ruler of the universe,
creator of the fruit of the vine.

II. Born this way

‫לם‬
ָ ‫העוֹ‬
ָ &‫ל‬ ֶ ‫ינוּ‬-‫ה‬
ֶ ‫מ‬ ֵ /‫א‬
ֱ ָ ‫י‬-ְ ‫תּה י‬
ָ ‫א‬
ַ & ‫בּ רוּ‬
ָ
.‫כבוֹדוֹ‬
ְ ‫ל‬
ִ ‫בָּרא‬
ָ ‫הכּ ֹל‬
ַ ‫שׁ‬
ֶ

Baruch Ata Adonai Eloheinu Melech HaOlam

SheHakol Barah Lichvodo.

You are blessed, Adonai, our God, Ruler of the universe,

who made it all in a way that reflects God’s glory.

III. Building life

‫לם‬
ָ ‫העוֹ‬
ָ &‫ל‬
ֶ ‫מ‬
ֶ ‫ינוּ‬-‫ה‬
ֵ /‫א‬
ֱ ָ ‫י‬-ְ ‫תּה י‬
ָ ‫א‬
ַ & ‫בּ רוּ‬
ָ
.‫אָדם‬
ָ ‫ה‬
ָ ‫צר‬
ֵ ‫יוֹ‬

Baruch Ata Adonai Eloheinu Melech HaOlam

Yotzer Ha’Adam.

You are blessed, Adonai, our God, Ruler of the universe,

manufacturer of the human.

IV. The Human image is divine, and also thanks for sex!
,‫לם‬
ָ ‫העוֹ‬
ָ &‫ל‬
ֶ ‫מ‬
ֶ ‫ינוּ‬-‫ה‬
ֵ /‫א‬
ֱ ָ ‫י‬-ְ ‫תּה י‬
ָ ‫א‬
ַ & ‫בּ רוּ‬
ָ
,‫למוֹ‬
ְ ‫צ‬
ַ ‫בּ‬
ְ ‫אָדם‬
ָ ‫ה‬
ָ ‫את‬
ֶ ‫צר‬
ַ ָ ‫שׁר י‬
ֶ ‫א‬
ֲ
‫בנ ִיתוֹ‬
ְ ‫תּ‬
ַ ‫לם ְדּמוּת‬
ֶ ‫צ‬
ֶ ‫בּ‬
ְ
:‫ﬠד‬
ַ ‫ﬠֵדי‬
ֲ ‫בּנ ְי ַן‬
ִ ‫מּנּוּ‬
ֶ ‫מ‬
ִ ‫קין לוֹ‬
ִ ‫ת‬
ְ ‫ה‬
ִ ְ‫ ו‬,
.‫אָדם‬
ָ ‫ה‬
ָ ‫צר‬
ֵ ‫ָ יוֹ‬,‫י‬-ְ ‫תּה י‬
ָ ‫א‬
ַ & ‫בּ רוּ‬
ָ

Baruch Ata Adonai Eloheinu Melech HaOlam

4
 Asher Yatzar Et Ha’Adam Betzalmo,
BTzelem Dmut Tavnito,
VeHitkin Lo Mimenu Binyan Adei Ad.
Baruch Ata Adonai Yotzer Ha’Adam.

You are blessed, Adonai, our God, Ruler of the universe,

Who made humans in God’s mold
In the image like the divine God made humans
And founded for them a means to build themselves and their kind forever.
You are blessed, Adonai, our God, manufacturer of the human.

V. Celebrate now, and remember what is broken in the world

‫קָרה‬
ָ ‫ﬠ‬
ֲ ‫ה‬
ָ ‫ת ג ֵל‬
ָ ְ ‫שׂישׂ ו‬
ִ ‫תּ‬
ָ ‫שׂוֹשׂ‬
:‫חה‬
ָ ‫מ‬
ְ ‫שׂ‬
ִ ‫בּ‬
ְ ‫כהּ‬
ָ ‫לתוֹ‬
ְ ‫ה‬
ָ ‫בּנ ֶי‬
ָ ‫קבּוּץ‬
ִ ‫בּ‬
ְ
.‫ה‬
ָ ‫בנ ֶי‬
ָ ‫בּ‬
ְ ‫ציּוֹן‬
ִ ‫ח‬
ַ ‫מּ‬
ֵ ‫שׂ‬ ְ ָ,‫י‬-ְ ‫תּה י‬
ַ ‫מ‬ ָ ‫א‬
ַ & ‫בּ רוּ‬
ָ

Sos Tasis VeTagel HaAkarah

BeKibbutz Baneha Letocha BeSimcha
Baruch Ata Adonai, Mesame’ach Tzion BeVaneha.

Let the barren woman rejoice and be happy

About the gleeful gathering of her sons to her
You are blessed, Adonai, our God, who uplifts Zion with her children.

VI. Paradisiacal Love

‫בים‬
ִ ‫אהוּ‬
ֲ ‫ה‬
ָ ‫ﬠים‬
ִ ‫מּח ֵר‬
ַ ‫שׂ‬
ַ ‫תּ‬
ְ ‫מּח‬
ַ ‫שׂ‬
ַ
‫מֶֽקֶּדם‬
ִ ‫בּגַן ֵֽﬠֶדן‬
ְ U‫ציְר‬
ִ ְ ‫ י‬U‫ח‬
ֲ ‫מּ‬
ֵ ‫שׂ‬
ַ ‫כּ‬
ְ
.‫לּה‬
ָ ‫כ‬
ַ ְ ‫תן ו‬
ָ ‫ח‬
ָ ‫ח‬
ַ ‫שֵֽׂמּ‬
ַ ‫מ‬
ְ ָ,‫י‬-ְ ‫תּה י‬
ָ ‫א‬
ַ & ‫בּ רוּ‬
ָ

Sameach TeSamach Re’im Ahuvim

KeSamechacha Yetzircha BeGan Eden MiKedem.
Baruch Ata Adonai, MeSame’ach Chatan VeChalah.

Bring happiness to these loving friends

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 Like the happiness you brought to your creations in the ancient days of the Garden
of Eden
You are blessed, Adonai, our God, who brings happiness to groom and bride.

VII. Eschatological love

,‫לם‬
ָ ‫העוֹ‬
ָ &‫ל‬ ֶ ‫ינוּ‬-‫ה‬
ֶ ‫מ‬ ֵ /‫א‬
ֱ ָ ‫י‬-ְ ‫תּה י‬
ָ ‫א‬
ַ & ‫בּ רוּ‬
ָ
‫לּה‬
ָ ‫כ‬
ַ ְ ‫תן ו‬
ָ ‫ח‬
ָ ,‫חה‬
ָ ‫מ‬
ְ ‫שׂ‬
ִ ְ ‫שׂשׂוֹן ו‬
ָ ‫בָּרא‬
ָ ‫שׁר‬
ֶ ‫א‬
ֲ
‫שׁלוֹם ו ְֵרעוּת‬
ָ ‫חו ָה‬
ֲ ‫א‬
ַ ְ ‫בה ו‬
ָ ‫ה‬
ֲ ‫א‬
ַ ,‫חְדו ָה‬
ֶ ְ ‫צה ו‬
ָ ‫לה ִרנּ ָה ִדּי‬
ָ ‫גִּי‬
,‫לּה‬
ָ ‫כּ‬
ַ ‫תן ו ְקוֹל‬
ָ ‫ח‬
ָ ‫ קוֹל‬,‫חה‬
ָ ‫מ‬
ְ ‫שׂ‬
ִ ‫שׂשׂוֹן ו ְקוֹל‬
ָ ‫ קוֹל‬,‫לי ִם‬
ָ ‫שׁ‬
ָ ‫בחוּצוֹת י ְרוּ‬
ְ ‫ﬠֵרי י ְהוָּדה וּ‬
ָ ‫בּ‬
ְ ‫מע‬ ָ ִ ‫ינוּ י‬-‫ה‬
ַ ‫שּׁ‬ ֵ /‫א‬
ֱ ָ ‫י‬-ְ ‫הָרה י‬
ֵ ‫מ‬
ְ
‫תם‬
ָ ָ ‫תּה נ ְגִינ‬
ֵ ‫שׁ‬
ְ ‫מּ‬
ִ ‫מ‬
ִ ‫ﬠִרים‬
ָ ְ ‫ וּ נ‬,‫תם‬
ָ ‫פּ‬
ָ ‫ח‬
ֻ ‫מ‬
ֵ ‫תנ ִים‬
ָ ‫ח‬
ֲ ‫הלוֹת‬
ֲ ‫צ‬
ְ ‫מ‬
ִ ‫קוֹל‬
.‫לּה‬
ָ ‫כּ‬
ַ ‫ה‬
ַ ‫ﬠם‬
ִ ‫תן‬
ָ ‫ח‬
ָ ‫ח‬
ַ ‫מּ‬
ֵ ‫שׂ‬ ְ ָ,‫י‬-ְ ‫תּה י‬
ַ ‫מ‬ ָ ‫א‬
ַ & ‫בּ רוּ‬
ָ

Baruch Ata Adonai Eloheinu Melech HaOlam,

Asher Barah Sasson VeSimcha, Chatan VeKalah,
Gila, Rina, Ditza, VeChedva, Ahava VeAchava, VeShalom, VeRe’ut.
MeHera Adonai Eloheinu Yishama BeArei Yehudah U’Vchutzot Yerushalayim, Kol
Sasson V’eKol Simcha, Kol Chatan V’eKol Kalah,
Kol Mitzhalot Chatanim MeChupatam,
U’Nearim Mimishte Neginatam.
Baruch Ata Adonai
MeSame’ach Chatan Im Hakalah.

You are blessed, Adonai, our God, Ruler of the universe,

Who created happiness and joy, the groom and the bride,
Rejoicing and jubilation, pleasure and delight, love and fellowship, peace and
friendship.
Please, quickly, Adonai our God, may sounds of true happiness and joy, the sounds
of a groom and a bride, be heard in Judea and on the streets of Jerusalem,
the sounds of exaltation of couples from their homes,
and of partying young people in their gardens.
You are blessed, Adonai our God,
who brings happiness to the groom along with the bride!

6
The Glass
Having finished erusin and begun our lives together under one
chuppah, we now each break a glass. The world is a broken place. We
are blessed in our happy moments, our weddings, celebrations,
moments of connection, but we also are challenged to maintain an
awareness that there are things that happiness alone cannot fix. The
Babylonian Talmud relates that when his son’s wedding party was too
focused on joy and lost sight of the world around them, Rav Ashi broke
a glass, reminding everyone around them that things are imperfect
and the world needs us to help repair it. Since then, Jews have broken
a glass to help us keep perspective on our joy. Please help us keep an
intention of holding the fullness of existence in our hearts, the tragic
and terrible along with the wonderful and awe inspiring.

Mazal Tov!