CHAPTERISATION

Submitted by-
Ishu Kaushik (14)
Aashi Singh (38)

CHAPTER 1-INTRODUCTION TO GAMES

1.1 Transaction: The unit of Social Intercourse Theory
1.2 Time Structuring and Programming
CHAPTER 2-GAMES THEORY
CHAPTER 3-WHAT ARE GAMES?
3.1 Definition
3.2 Genesis of Games
3.3 Function of Games
CHAPTER 4-TYPES OF GAMES
4.1 Life Games
4.2 Sexual Games
4.3 Marital Games
4.4 Underworld Games
4.5 Party Games
CHAPTER 5- SIGNIFICANCE AND APPLICATIONS OF GAMES
CHAPTER 6-BEYOND GAMES
6.1 Players
6.2 Paradigm
6.3 Autonomy of Games
6.3.1 Attainment of autonomy of Games
CHAPTER 7 SUMMARY
 CHAPTER 1
INTRODUCTION TO GAMES

1.1 Social Intercourse Theory:

Social Intercourse means communication between individuals. Social interaction is the process
of reciprocal influence exercised by individuals over one another during social encounters.
Usually it refers to face-to-face encounters in which people are physically present with one
another for a specified duration. However, in contemporary society we can also think of social
encounters that are technologically mediated like texting, skyping, or messaging. In terms of
the different levels of analysis in sociology–micro, meso, macro, and global–social interaction
is generally approached at the micro-level where the structures and social scripts, the pre-
established patterns of behaviour that people are expected to follow in specific social situations,
that govern the relationship between particular individuals can be examined. The study of
micro-level interaction has been a rich source of insight in sociology. The idea that our
emotions, for example, have a social component might not be all that surprising at first because
often we are subject to having “emotional reactions” to other people, positive or negative. The
other person, or the social situation itself, brings on an emotion that otherwise would not arise.
Spitz has found that infants deprived of handling over a long period will tend at length to sink
into an irreversible decline and are prone to succumb eventually to intercurrent disease. In
effect, this means that what he calls emotional deprivation can have a fatal outcome. These
observations give rise to the idea of stimulus-hunger, and indicate that the most favoured forms
of stimuli are those provided by physical intimacy, a conclusion not hard to accept on the basis
of everyday experience. An allied phenomenon is seen in grown-ups subjected to sensory
deprivation. Experimentally, such deprivation may call forth a transient psychosis, or at least
give rise to temporary mental disturbances. In the past, social and sensory deprivation is noted
to have had similar effects in individuals condemned to long periods of solitary imprisonment.
On that biological side, it is probable that emotional and sensory deprivation tends to bring
about or encourage organic changes. If the reticular activating system8 of the brain stem is not
sufficiently stimulated, degenerative changes in the nerve cells may follow, at least indirectly.
This may be a secondary effect due to poor nutrition, but the poor nutrition itself may be a
product of apathy, as in infants suffering from marasmus. Hence a biological chain may he
postulated leading from emotional and sensory deprivation through apathy to degenerative
changes and death. In this sense, stimulus-hunger has the same relationship to survival of the
human organism as food-hunger. Indeed, not only biologically but also psychologically and
socially, stimulus-hunger in many ways parallels the hunger for food. Such terms as
malnutrition, satiation, gourmet, gourmand, faddist, ascetic, culinary arts, and good cook are
easily transferred from the field of nutrition to the field of sensation.
1.2 Time Structuring and Programming
Time structuring is piece of theory which allows us to think about how intensely we spend time
with other people. Eric Berne, the founder of Transactional Analysis, believed that human
beings need to structure time and relationships with other people in some way. He assumed
that we have an inbuilt drive to create structure out of chaos in relationships, just like our brain
organizes sensory input in terms of objects and meaningful categories. He suggested six
possible ways that people might structure their time and relationships: withdrawal, rituals,
pastimes, activities, psychological games, and intimacy.
The order of the possible patterns is important. The emotional intensity in our relationships
increases step-by-step as we move from withdrawal to intimacy. While we may feel lonely and
unstimulated by withdrawal, we move to a highly charged and emotionally open state when
we’re intimate with another person (also have a look at psychological hungers in
relationships for a discussion on intimacy).
However, by the same token, the emotional risk increases when we move from withdrawal to
intimacy. During withdrawal we are emotionally very safe, and no-one can hurt as we are not
in contact with anyone. When we are intimate with another person we open ourselves to the
other and whatever they bring into the encounter, good or bad. Unfortunately, a lot of us needed
to learn how to protect themselves in relationships as children, which limits our capacity to be
emotionally close as adults.
We therefore tend to spend less time in intimate encounters and more time in safer social
situations than is perhaps good for us, since our relationships become superficial and empty of
real attachment or investment, and so fail to nourish or stimulate us. However, we all need time
in each one of the different social situations: for example, we need time to withdraw and be
with ourselves. Or, when we get to know somebody new, we may want to spend some time
just “pass timing”, either because we don’t feel safe yet with the other person or because we
don’t actually want to get to know them any better.

Withdrawal:
Withdrawal is spending time out of contact or out of relationship. Some people will physically
withdraw and be on their own. Other people withdraw on the
inside and are physically present, but emotionally absent. However, we all need time to be with
ourselves and regroup, so some withdrawal time is necessary for all of us.

Rituals:
These are highly structured and stylised ways of interacting. For example, a greeting like
“Hello, how are you?” and a response of “Thanks, very well, and how are you?” is a ritual.
Two people are interacting, albeit in a very structured and pre-programmed way. The good
thing about rituals is that they give us a lot of structure and security and a possible way in to
more intense contact. On the downside, they contain little emotional value: you could exchange
hellos with a complete stranger without much, if any, emotional contact.
Activity:
This is probably where many of us spend a lot of time with others. Activity stands for “goal
directed activity” with others, say attending a meeting or playing tennis. It is time we
spend doing things with others, rather than just being with them.
Activity may include work, or at home it could involve running a household or looking after
the children. It’s shared time, and may include having a lot of fun, but it may also mean we are
avoiding really being with the other and meeting them fully.

Psychological Games:
This is a chapter in itself! You can read more on games, if you haven’t already done so, under
the section games. In short, games are a sequence of interactions with others which involve a
hidden agenda and which end up with both parties experiencing familiar bad feelings.
Games can be seen as a failed attempt to be intimate with another person. However, both parties
do not take the full risk of being open and authentic with each other and the result is a repetitive
pattern of interacting from set roles.

Intimacy:
This is an authentic encounter with another, a moment of shared openness, trust and honesty.
Intimacy means emotionally intimate, not necessarily sexually intimate (unfortunately, a lot of
sex isn’t necessarily emotionally intimate). It also doesn’t necessarily mean nice and peaceful.

An intimate encounter may be an angry argument, but conducted from a place of respect and
openness to one’s own feelings and those of the other(s). Intimacy gives us the highest level of
emotional intensity, but also involves taking the greatest risks (one could be rejected or
ridiculed when showing one’s true self and being open – something that most people would
find emotionally very painful).

In a lot of our relationships it’s the moments of emotional intimacy that are missing and which
are so important to us all. Intimacy means attachment and letting somebody into one’s heart
and soul. It means we are allowing the other person to impact us and change us. If relationships
don’t work it is often, maybe even always, caused by lack of shared intimate time.

Granted that handling of infants, and its symbolic equivalent in grown-ups, recognition, have
a survival value. The question is, What next? In everyday terms, what can people do after they
have exchanged greetings, whether the greeting consists of a collegiate "Hi!" or an Oriental
ritual lasting several hours? After stimulus-hunger and recognition-hunger comes structure-
hunger. The perennial problem of adolescents is: "What do you say to her (him) then?" And to
many people besides adolescents, nothing is more uncomfortable than a social hiatus, a period
of silent, unstructured time when no one present can think of anything more interesting to say
than; "Don't you think the walls are perpendicular tonight?" The eternal problem of the human
being is how to structure his waking hours. In this existential sense, the function of all social
living is to lend mutual assistance for this project. The operational aspect of time-structuring
may be called programming. It has three aspects: material, social and individual. The most
common, convenient, comfortable, and utilitarian method of structuring time is by a project
designed to deal with the material of external reality: what is commonly known as work. Such
a project is technically called an activity; the term "work" is unsuitable because a general theory
of social psychiatry must recognize that social intercourse is also a form of work.
Material programming arises from the vicissitudes encountered in dealing with external
reality; it is of interest here only insofar as activities offer a matrix for "stroking," recognition,
and other more complex forms of social intercourse. Material programming is not primarily a
social problem; in essence it is based on data processing. The activity of building a boat relies
on a long series of measurements and probability estimates, and any social exchange which
occurs must be subordinated to these in order for the building to proceed.

Social programming results in traditional ritualistic or semi-ritualistic interchanges. The chief

criterion for it is local acceptability, popularity called "good manners." Parents in all parts of
the world teach their children manners, which means that they know the proper greeting, eating,
courting and mourning rituals, and also how to carry on topical conversations with appropriate
strictures and reinforcements. The strictures and reinforcements constitute tact or diplomacy,
some of which is universal and some local. Belching at meals or asking after another man's
wife are each encouraged or forbidden by local ancestral tradition, and indeed there is a high
degree of inverse correlation between these particular transactions. Usually in localities where
people belch at meals, it is unwise to ask after the womenfolk; and in localities where people
are asking after the womenfolk, it is unwise to belch at meals. Usually formal rituals precede
semi-ritualistic topical conversations, and the latter may be distinguished by calling them -
pastimes.

As people become better acquainted, more and more Individual programming creeps in, so
that "incidents" begin to occur. These incidents superficially appear to be adventitious, and
may be so described by the parties concerned, but careful scrutiny reveals that they tend to
follow definite patterns which are amenable to sorting and classification, and that the sequence
is circumscribed by unspoken rules and regulations. These regulations remain latent as long as
the amities or hostilities proceed according to Hoyle, but they become manifest if an illegal
move is made, giving rise to a symbolic, verbal or legal cry of "Foul!" Such sequences, which
in contrast to pastimes are based more on individual than on social programming, may be called
games. Family life and married life, as well as life in organizations of various kinds, may year
after year be based on variations of the same game.

The advantages of social contact revolve around somatic and psychic equilibrium. They are
related to the following factors:

(1) the relief of tension

(2) the avoidance of noxious situations

(3) the procurement of stroking and

(4) the maintenance of an established equilibrium.

All these items have been investigated and discussed in great detail by physiologists,
psychologists, and psychoanalysts. Translated into terms of social psychiatry, they may be
stated as

(1) the primary internal advantages

(2) the primary external advantages

(3) the secondary advantages and

(4) the existential advantages.

The first three parallel the "gains from illness" described by Freud: the internal paranosic gain,
the external paranosic gain, and the eplnosic gain, respectively. Experience has shown that it
is more useful and enlightening to investigate social transactions from the point of view of the
advantages gained than to treat them as defensive operations. In the first place, the best defense
is to engage in no transactions at all; in the second place, the concept of

"Defenses" covers only part of the first two classes of advantages, and the rest of them, together
with the third and fourth classes, are lost to this point of view. The most gratifying forms of
social contact, whether or not they are embedded in a matrix of activity, are games and
intimacy. Prolonged intimacy is rare, and even then it is primarily a private matter; significant
social intercourse most commonly takes the form of games, and that is the subject which
principally concerns us here. For further information about rime-structuring, the author's book
on group dynamics should be consulted.
 CHAPTER 2

GAMES THEORY

Game theory is a theoretical framework for conceiving social situations among competing
players. In some respects, game theory is the science of strategy, or at least the optimal
decision-making of independent and competing actors in a strategic setting. The focus of game
theory is the game, which serves as a model of an interactive situation among rational
players. The key to game theory is that one player's payoff is contingent on the strategy
implemented by the other player. The game identifies the players' identities, preferences, and
available strategies and how these strategies affect the outcome. Depending on the model,
various other requirements or assumptions may be necessary.

Game theory has a wide range of applications, including psychology, evolutionary biology,
war, politics, economics, and business. Despite its many advances, game theory is still a
young and developing science.

Game theory is a set of mathematical tools for modelling interactive decision-making. These
include mathematical descriptions of the strategies available to the players and of the payoffs
(or utilities) resulting from those strategies. Additional details may include the sequence of
play, the actions available to each player at each stage of the game, and the information
available to each player. Players’ beliefs are represented via probability distributions over
actions, states, or other players’ beliefs. Early game theoretic models and applications assumed
that agents behaved selfishly in maximizing their material self-interest: that is, each player’s
utility function depended only upon his own payoff. These models of purely self-interested
individuals perform poorly in predicting social behaviour.

For example, they predict unrealistically low levels of voter turnout and charitable donation.
In addition, countless laboratory experiments have shown that people often behave unselfishly
(e.g., sharing resources, punishing malefactors. A number of different theoretical models
attempt to capture this other-regarding behaviour by modifying the standard selfish utility
function to include concerns for social factors such as inequality, social welfare, fairness and
reciprocity, or social image. These models of social preferences enable pairs or groups of
individuals to obtain outcomes that purely self-interested individuals cannot. Hence, we get to
know that there are different emotional rewards for different types of games played by people.

These games and models allow players’ payoffs and psychological states to depend upon their
beliefs, using tools from psychological game theory As noted by Geanakoplos , and consistent
with the appraisal theory approach to emotions, ‘A player’s emotional reactions cannot in
general be independent of his expectations and of his interpretation of what he learns in a play
of a game’.

The psychological games approach thus requires the modeler to make precise assumptions
about the appraisal triggers of emotions and the resulting consequences of those emotions for
behaviour. In addition, psychological game theory is well suited for modelling the theory-of-
mind reasoning that is often associated with social emotions. Both the appraisals and the action
tendencies associated with guilt and anger, for example, can be modelled by adding a
psychological payoff term to the standard material payoff. This approach highlights that agents
face trade offs between psychological and material payoffs, so that emotions need not always
result in a pre-programmed action. While we focus on the behavioural predictions of the
models, we believe that ‘psychological payoffs’ are real and can be validated by their neural
and physiological correlates. We therefore also report on the results of research and other
studies that seek to identify physiological data that corresponds to certain emotions. Ultimately,
the models we describe will either be falsified or supported via a combination of behavioural
and physiological data.

Some definitions related to Game Theory:

 Game: Any set of circumstances that has a result dependent on the actions of two or
more decision-makers (players)
 Players: A strategic decision-maker within the context of the game
 Strategy: A complete plan of action a player will take given the set of circumstances
that might arise within the game
 Payoff: The pay out a player receives from arriving at a particular outcome (The payout
can be in any quantifiable form, from dollars to utility.)
 Information set: The information available at a given point in the game (The
term information set is most usually applied when the game has a sequential
component.)
 Equilibrium: The point in a game where both players have made their decisions and
an outcome is reached

The Nash Equilibrium:

Nash Equilibrium is an outcome reached that, once achieved, means no player can increase
payoff by changing decisions unilaterally. It can also be thought of as "no regrets," in the sense
that once a decision is made, the player will have no regrets concerning decisions considering
the consequences.

The Nash Equilibrium is reached over time, in most cases. However, once the Nash
Equilibrium is reached, it will not be deviated from. After we learn how to find the Nash
Equilibrium, take a look at how a unilateral move would affect the situation. Does it make any
sense? It shouldn't, and that's why the Nash Equilibrium is described as "no regrets." Generally,
there can be more than one equilibrium in a game.

However, this usually occurs in games with more complex elements than two choices by two
players. In simultaneous games that are repeated over time, one of these multiple equilibria is
reached after some trial and error. This scenario of different choices overtime before reaching
equilibrium is the most often played out in the business world when two firms are determining
prices for highly interchangeable products, such as soft drinks.

One way to describe a game is by listing the players (or individuals) participating in the game,
and for each player, listing the alternative choices (called actions or strategies) available to that
player. In the case of a two-player game, the actions of the first player form the rows, and the
actions of the second player the columns, of a matrix. The entries in the matrix are two numbers
representing the utility or payoff to the first and second player respectively. A very famous
game is the Prisoner's Dilemma game. In this game the two players are partners in a crime who
have been captured by the police. Each suspect is placed in a separate cell, and offered the
opportunity to confess to the crime. The game can be represented by the following matrix of
payoffs.

No Confession
Confession

No 5, 5 -4, 10
Confession
10, -4 1, 1
Confession

If neither suspect or the individual involved in the situation confesses, they go free, and split
the proceeds of their crime which we represent by 5 units of utility for each suspect. However,
if one prisoner confesses and the other does not, the prisoner who confesses testifies against
the other in exchange for going free and gets the entire 10 units of utility, while the prisoner
who did not confess goes to prison and which results in the low utility of -4. If both prisoners
confess, then both are given a reduced term, but both are convicted, which we represent by
giving each 1 unit of utility: better than having the other prisoner confess, but not so good as
going free.
This game has fascinated game theorists for a variety of reasons. First, it is a simple
representation of a variety of important situations. For example, instead of confess/not confess
we could label the strategies "contribute to the common good" or "behave selfishly." This
captures a variety of situations economists describe as public goods problems. An example is
the construction of a bridge. It is best for everyone if the bridge is built, but best for each
individual if someone else builds the bridge. This is sometimes refered to in economics as an
externality. Similarly this game could describe the alternative of two firms competing in the
same market, and instead of confess/not confess we could label the strategies "set a high price"
and "set a low price." Naturally it is best for both firms if they both set high prices, but best for
each individual firm to set a low price while the opposition sets a high price.
A second feature of this game, is that it is self-evident how an intelligent individual should
behave. No matter what a suspect believes his partner is going to do, it is always best to confess.
If the partner in the other cell is not confessing, it is possible to get 10 instead of 5. If the partner
in the other cell is confessing, it is possible to get 1 instead of -4. Yet the pursuit of individually
sensible behavior results in each player getting only 1 unit of utility, much less than the 5 units
each that they would get if neither confessed. This conflict between the pursuit of individual
goals and the common good is at the heart of many game theoretic problems.
A third feature of this game is that it changes in a very significant way if the game is repeated,
or if the players will interact with each other again in the future. Suppose for example that after
this game is over, and the suspects either are freed or are released from jail they will commit
another crime and the game will be played again. In this case in the first period the suspects
may reason that they should not confess because if they do not their partner will not confess in
the second game. Strictly speaking, this conclusion is not valid, since in the second game both
suspects will confess no matter what happened in the first game. However, repetition opens up
the possibility of being rewarded or punished in the future for current behavior, and game
theorists have provided a number of theories to explain the obvious intuition that if the game
is repeated often enough, the suspects ought to cooperate.
 CHAPTER 3
ANALYSIS OF GAMES

3.1 Definition:
A Game is an ongoing series of complementary ulterior transactions progressing to a well-
defined, predictable outcome. Descriptively it is a recurring set of transactions, often
repetitious, superficially plausible, with a concealed motivation; or, more colloquially, a series
of moves with a snare, or "gimmick." Games are clearly differentiated from procedures, rituals,
and pastimes by two chief characteristics: (I) their ulterior quality and (2) the payoff.
Procedures may be successful, rituals effective, and pastimes profitable, but all of them are by
definition candid; they may involve contest, but not conflict, and the ending may be sensational,
but it is not dramatic.
Every game, on the other hand, is basically dishonest, and the outcome has a dramatic, as
distinct from merely exciting, quality. It remains to distinguish games from the one remaining
type of social action which so far has not been discussed. An operation is a simple transaction
or set of transactions undertaken for a specific, stated purpose. If someone frankly asks for
reassurance and gets it, that is an operation. If someone asks for reassurance, and after it is
given turns it in some way to the disadvantage of the giver, that is a game. Superficially, then,
a game looks like a set of operations, but after the payoff it becomes apparent that these
operations were really maneuvers; not honest requests but moves in the game. In the "insurance
game," for example, no matter what the agent appears to be doing in conversation, if he is a
hard player he is really looking for or working on a prospect. What he is after, if he is worth
his salt, is to "make a killing." The same applies to "the real estate game," "the panama game"
and similar occupations- Hence at a social gathering, while a salesman is engaged in pastimes,
particularly variants of "Balance Sheet," his congenial participation may conceal a series of
skill full maneuvers designed to elicit the kind of information he is professionally interested in.
There are dozens of trade journals devoted to improving commercial maneuvers, and which
give accounts of outstanding players and games (interesting operators who make unusually big
deals).
Typically speaking, these are merely variants of Sports Illustrated, Chess World, and other
sports magazines. As far as angular transactions are concerned—games which are consciously
planned with professional precision under Adult control to yield the maximum gains—the big
"con games" which flourished in the early 1900's are hard to surpass for detailed practical
planning and psychological virtuosity. What we are concerned with here, however, are the
unconscious games played by innocent people engaged in duplex transactions of which they
are not fully aware, and which form the most important aspect of social life all over the world.
Because of their dynamic qualities, games are easy to distinguish from mere static attitudes,
which arise from taking a position.
The use of the word "game" should not be misleading. As explained in the introduction, it does
not necessarily imply fun or even enjoyment. Many salesmen do not consider their work fun,
as Arthur Miller made clear in his play, The Death- of a Salesman. And there may be no lack
of seriousness. Football games nowadays are taken very seriously, but no more so than such
transactional games as "Alcoholic" or "Third-Degree Rapo". The same applies to the word
"play," as anyone who has "played" hard poker or "played" the stock market over a long period
can testify. The possible seriousness of games and play, and the possibly serious results, are
well known to anthropologists. The most complex game that ever existed, that of "Courtier" as
described so well by Stendhal in The Charterhouse of Parma, was deadly serious. The grimmest
of all, of course, is "War."

A Typical Game Example:

The most common game played between spouses is colloquially called "If It Weren't For You,"
Mrs. White complained that her husband severely restricted her social activities, so that she
had never learned to dance and poetry classes.
Due to changes in her attitude brought about by psychiatric treatment, her husband became less
sure of himself and more indulgent. Mrs. White was then free to enlarge the scope of her
activities. She signed up for dancing and poetry classes, and then discovered to her despair that
she had a morbid fear of dance floors and had to abandon this project. This unfortunate
adventure, along with similar ones, laid bare some important aspects of the structure of her
marriage. Out of her many suitors she had picked a domineering man for a husband. She was
then in a position to complain that she could do all sorts of things "if it weren't for you." Many
of her women friends also had domineering husbands, and when they met for their morning
coffee, they spent a good deal of time playing "If It Weren't For Him." As it turned out,
however, contrary to her complaints, her husband was performing a very real service for her
by forbidding her to do something she was deeply afraid of, and by preventing her, in fact,
from even becoming aware of her fears. This was one reason her Child had shrewdly chosen
such a husband.
Practical game analysis deals with special cases as they appear in specific situations.
Theoretical game analysis attempts to abstract and generalize the characteristics of various
games, so that they can be recognized independently of their momentary verbal content and
their cultural matrix. The theoretical analysis of "If It Weren't For You," Marital Type, for
example, should state the characteristics of that game in such a way that it can be recognized
just as easily in a New Guinea jungle village as in a Manhattan penthouse, whether it is
concerned with a nuptial party or with the financial problems of getting a fishing rod for the
grandchildren; and regardless of how bluntly or subtly the moves are made, according to the
permissible degrees of frankness between husband and wife. The prevalence of the game in a
given society is a matter for sociology and anthropology.
Game analysis, as a part of social psychiatry, is only interested in describing the game when it
does occur, regardless of how often that may be.

Thesis: This is a general description of the game, including the immediate sequence of events
(the social level) and information about their psychological background, evolution and
significance (the psychological level). In the case of "If It Weren't For You," Marital Type, the
details already given will. For the sake of brevity, this game will henceforth be referred to as
IWFY.

Antithesis: The presumption that a certain sequence constitutes a game is tentative until it
has been existentially validated. This validation is carried out by a refusal to play or by
undercutting the payoff. The one who is "it" will then make more intense efforts to continue
the game. In the face of adamant refusal to play or a successful undercutting he will then lapse
into a state called "despair," which in some respects resembles a depression, but is different in
significant ways. It is more acute and contains elements of frustration and bewilderment. It
may be
manifested, for example, by the onset of perplexed weeping. In a successful therapeutic
situation this may soon be replaced by humorous laughter, implying an Adult realization:
"There I go again!" Thus, despair is a concern of the Adult, while in depression it is the Child
who has the executive power.

Aim: This states simply the general purpose of the game. Sometimes there are alternatives.
The aim of IWFY may be stated as either reassurance ("It's not that I'm afraid, it's that he won't
let me") or vindication ("It's not that I'm not trying, it's that he holds me back"). The reassuring
function is easier to clarify and is more in accord with the security needs of the wife; therefore
IWFY is most simply regarded as having the aim of reassurance. Roles. As previously noted,
ego states are not roles but phenomena. Therefore, ego states and roles have to be distinguished
in a formal description. Games may be described as two-handed, threehanded, many-handed,
etc., according to the number of roles offered. Sometimes the ego state of each player
corresponds to his role, sometimes it does not. IWFY is a two-handed game and calls.
For a restricted wife and a domineering husband. The wife may play her role either as a prudent
Adult ("It's best that I do as he says") or as a petulant Child. The domineering husband may
preserve an Adult ego state ("It's best that you do as I say") or slip into a Parental one ("You'd
better do what I say"). Dynamics. There are alternatives in staring the psycho-dynamic driving
forces behind each case of a game. It is usually possible, however, to pick out a single
psychodynamic concept which usefully, aptly and meaningfully epitomizes the situation. Thus
IWFY is best described as deriving from phobic sources.

Examples. Since the childhood origins of a game, or its infantile prototypes, are instructive
to study, it is worthwhile to search for such cognates in making a formal description. It happens
that IFWY is just as frequently played by little children as by grown-ups, so the childhood
version is the same as the later one, with the actual parent substituted for the restricting
husband.

Transactional Paradigm. The transactional analysis of a typical situation is presented,

giving both the social and psychological levels of a revealing ulterior transaction. In its most
dramatic form, IWFY at the social level is a Parent-Child game. Mr. White: "You stay home
and take care of the house." Mrs. White: "If it weren't for you, I could be out having fun." At
the psychological level (the ulterior marriage contract) the relationship is Child-Child, and
quite different Mr. White: "You must always be here when I get home. I'm terrified of
desertion." Mrs. White: "I will be if you help me avoid phobic situations."

Paren
Parent Parent
P
t

Adult Adult

Child Child
Moves. The moves of a game correspond roughly to the strokes in a ritual. As in any game,
the players become increasingly adept with practice. Wasteful moves are eliminated, and more
and more purpose is condensed into each move. "Beautiful friendships" are often based on the
fact that the players complement each other with great economy and satisfaction, so that there
is a maximum yield with a minimum effort from the games they play with each other.

Advantages. The general advantages of a game consist in its stabilizing (homeostatic)

functions. Biological homeo-stasis is promoted by the stroking, and psychological stability is
reinforced by the confirmation of position. As has already been noted, stroking may take
various forms, so that the biological advantage of a game may be stated in tactile terms. Thus
the husband's role in IWFY is reminiscent of a backhanded slap (quite different in effect from
a palmar slap, which is a direct humiliation), and the wife's response is something like a
petulant kick in the shins. Hence the biological gain from IWFY is derived from the
belligerence-petulance exchanges: a distressing but apparently effective way to maintain the
health of nervous tissues. Confirmation of the wife's position—"All men are tyrants" —is the
existential advantage. This position is a reaction to the need to surrender that is inherent in the
phobias, a demonstration of the coherent structure which underlies all games. The expanded
statement would be: "If I went out alone in a crowd, I would be overcome by the temptation to
surrender; at home I don't surrender: he forces me, which proves that all men are tyrants."
Hence this game is commonly played by women who suffer from feelings of unreality, which
signifies their difficulty in keeping the Adult in charge in situations of strong temptation.

3.2 GENISIS:
From the present point of view, child rearing may be regarded as an educational process in
which the child is taught what games to play and how to play diem. He/She is also taught
procedures, rituals and pastimes appropriate to his position in the local social situation, but
these are less significant. His/Her knowledge of and skill in procedures, rituals and pastimes
determine what opportunities will be available to him, other things being equal; but his games
determine the use he will make of those opportunities, and the outcomes of situations for which
he is eligible.
As elements of his/her script, or unconscious life-plan, their favoured games also determine
their ultimate destiny (again with other things being equal): the payoffs on his/her marriage
and career, and the circumstances surrounding their death. While conscientious parents devote
a great deal of attention to teaching their children procedures, rituals and pastimes appropriate
to their stations in life, and with equal care select schools, colleges and churches where their
teachings will be reinforced, they tend to overlook the question of games, which form the basic
structure for the emotional dynamics of each family, and which the children learn through
significant experiences in everyday living from their earliest months. Related questions have
been discussed for thousands of years in a rather general, unsystematic fashion, and there has
been some attempt at a more methodical approach in the modern orthopsychiatric literature;
but without the concept of games there is little possibility of a consistent investigation. Theories
of internal individual psychodynamics have so far not been able to solve satisfactorily the
problems of human relationships. These are transactional situations which call for a theory of
social dynamics that cannot be derived solely from consideration of individual motivations.
Since there are as yet few well-trained specialists in child psychology and child psychiatry who
are also trained in game analysis, observations on the genesis of games are sparse. Fortunately,
the following episode took place in the presence of a well-educated transactional analyst.
For example, Tanny, age 7, got a stomach-ache at the dinner table and asked to be excused for
that reason. His parents suggested that he lie down for a while. His little brother Mike, age 3,
then said, "I have a stomach-ache too," evidently angling for the same consideration. The father
looked at him for a few seconds and then replied, "You don't want to play that game, do you?"
Whereupon Mike burst out laughing and said, "No!" If this had been a household of food or
bowel faddists, Mike would also have been packed off to bed by his alarmed parents. If he and
they had repeated this performance several times, it might be anticipated that this game would
have become part of Mike's character, as it so often does if the parents cooperate. Whenever
he was jealous of a privilege granted to a competitor, he would plead illness in order to get
some privileges himself. The ulterior transaction would then consist of: (social level) "I don't
feel well" + (psychological level) "You must grant me a privilege, too." Mike, however, was
saver from such a hypochondriacal career. Perhaps he will end up with a worse fate, but that is
not the issue. The issue is that a game in statu nascendi was broken right there by the father's
question and by the boy's frank acknowledgment that what he proposed was a game.
This demonstrates clearly enough that games are quite deliberately initiated by young children.
After they become fixed patterns of stimulus and response, their origins become lost in the
mists of time and their ulterior nature becomes obscured by social fogs. Both can be brought
into awareness only by appropriate procedures: the origin by some form of analytic therapy
and the ulterior aspect by antithesis.
Repeated clinical experience along these lines makes it clear that games are imitative in nature,
and that they are initially set up by the Adult (neopsychic) aspect of the child's personality. If
the Child ego state can be revived in the grown-up player, the psychological aptitude of this
segment (the Adult aspect of the Child ego state) is so striking, and its skill in manipulating
people so enviable, that it is colloquially called "The Professor" (of Psychiatry).
Hence in psychotherapy groups which concentrate on game analysis, one of the more
sophisticated procedures is the search for the little "Professor" in each patient, whose early
adventures in setting up games between the ages of two and eight are listened to by everyone
present with fascination and often, unless the games are tragic, with enjoyment and even
hilarity, in which the patient himself may join with justifiable self-appreciation and smugness.
Once he is able to do that, he is well on his way to relinquishing what may be an unfortunate
behaviour pattern which he is much better off without. Those are the reasons why in the formal
description of a game an attempt is always made to describe the infantile or childhood
prototype.
3.4 FUNCTIONS OF GAMES:
Because there is so little opportunity for intimacy in daily life, and because some forms of
intimacy (especially if intense) are psychologically impossible for most people, the bulk of the
time in serious social life is taken up with playing games.
Hence games are both necessary and desirable, and the only problem at issue is whether the
games played by an individual offer the best yield for him. In this connection it should be
remembered that the essential feature of a game is its culmination, or payoff.
The principal function of the preliminary moves is to set up the situation for this payoff, but
they are always designed to harvest the maximum permissible satisfaction at each step as a
secondary product. Thus in "Schlemiel" (making messes and then apologizing) the payoff, and
the purpose of the game, is to obtain the forgiveness which is forced by the apology; the
spillings and cigarette burns are only steps leading up to this, but each such trespass yields its
own pleasure.
The enjoyment derived from the spilling does not make spilling a game. The apology is the
critical stimulus that leads to the denouement. Otherwise the spilling would simply be a
destructive procedure, a delinquency perhaps enjoyable. The game of "Alcoholic" is similar:
whatever the physiological origin, if any, of the need to drink, in terms of game analysis the
imbibing is merely a move in a game which is carried on with the people in the environment.
The drinking may bring its own kinds of pleasure, but it is not the essence of the game. This is
demonstrated in the variant of "Dry Alcoholic," which involves the same moves and leads to
the same payoff as the regular game, but is played without any bottles.
Beyond their social function in structuring time satisfactorily, some games are urgently
necessary for the maintenance of health in certain individuals. These people's psychic stability
is so precarious, and their positions are so tenuously maintained, that to deprive them of their
games may plunge them into irreversible despair and even psychosis. Such people will fight
very hard against any antithetical moves. This is often observed in marital situations when the
psychiatric improvement of one spouse (i-e., the abandonment of destructive games) leads to
rapid deterioration in the other spouse, to whom the games were of paramount importance in
maintaining equilibrium. Hence it is necessary to exercise prudence in game analysis.
the rewards of game-free intimacy, which is or should be the most perfect form of human
living, are so great that even precariously balanced personalities can safely and joyfully
relinquish their games if an appropriate partner can be found for the better relationship. On a
larger scale, games are integral and dynamic components of the unconscious life-plan, or script,
of each individual; they serve to fill in the time while he waits for the final fulfillment,
simultaneously advancing the action. Since the last act of a script characteristically calls for
either a miracle or a catastrophe, depending on whether the script is constructive or destructive,
the corresponding games ate accordingly either constructive or destructive. In colloquial terms,
an individual whose script is oriented toward "waiting for Santa Claus" is likely to be pleasant
to deal with in such games as "Gee You're Wonderful, Mr. Murgatroyd," while someone with
a tragic script oriented toward "waiting for rigor mortis to set in" may play such disagreeable
games as "Now I've Got You”.
 CHAPTER 4
TYPES OF GAMES

4.1 Life Games:

4.1.1 Alcoholic:

Roles: Victim (addict), Persecutor (usually spouse), Rescuer (often family member of same
sex), Patsy (enabler), Connection (supplier)

Pastimes: Are martini (how much I used) and morning after (look what you made me do).
Many addicts find unlimited access to these pastimes in organizations such as AA.

The game is played from the Victim role as "see how bad I've been; see if you can stop me."
The purpose is self-punishment and the garnering of negative (persecution) strokes and positive
ones of forgiveness, and the vindication of an "I'm not OK" existential position. The game often
becomes elaborated into a self-destructive life script, especially if the parents were also
chemically dependent.

Programs designed to "arrest" the symptoms, rather than cure the underlying cause, such as
12-step groups, merely allow the addict to continue to play the game from the Rescuer position,
instead of as a Victim. Cases have been reported of chapters of AA, the members of which
returned to drinking when they ran out of new alcoholics to rescue, that being the only way in
which they could continue to play the game.(2) Effective antithesis and cure can be achieved
through psychotherapeutic script analysis, re decision, and relearning.
Advantages: (1) Internal Psychological—(a) Drinking as a procedure—rebellion,
reassurance and satisfaction of craving. (b) "Alcoholic" as a game—self-castigation (probable).

(2) External Psychological—avoidance of sexual and other forms of intimacy.

(3) Internal Social—See if you can stop me.

(4) External Social—"Morning After," "Martini," and other pastimes.
(5) Biological— alternating loving and angry exchanges.
(6) Existential—Everybody wants to deprive.

4.1.2 Now I've Got You - You Son of a Bitch - (NIGYSOB)

Purpose: Justification for persecutor to vent repressed rage. Roles: Primarily: Persecutor (P),
Victim (V)

NIGYSOB vindicates the "ya just can't trust nobody, nowadays" paranoia and a he's (you're,
she's, they're) not-OK existential position (usually secondary). P believes in the social (Adult-
Adult) level and is usually unaware of the ulterior level in which P's Parent is saying to V's
Child "I've been watching you, hoping you'd slip up. You did so, now I've got you . . . " P often
sets V up for a predictable fall in order to further the vicious cycle of anger/aggression/anger
and to relieve internal psychic pressure from a repressed not-OK Child.

This game can be immensely destructive. Second degree can lead to litigation and prison, third
degree to injury or homicide. Play can move in several directions. The relationship between P
and V may end, with each moving into new games (Poor Me, SWYMD, etc.) as Victims for a
wellintentioned Rescuer. If P and V continue in a love/hate relationship, then additional rounds
may ensue, with P collecting righteousness and triumph stamps and V masochistically
collecting humiliation. Alternately, retaliation by V can lead into a game of Uproar, or V may
proceed, with hurt feelings, into other victim games such as: Kick Me, Poor Me, There I Go
Again, or Wooden Leg.

Tendency is entrenched in NIGYSOB players and successful antithesis usually requires

therapeutic intervention, aimed at insight, release of repressed rage, and deconfusion of the
Child.

Advantages:
1. Provocation—Accusation
2.Defense-Accusation.
3. Defense—Punishment.
4. Internal Psychological-justification for rage.
5. External Psychological—avoids confrontation of own deficiencies.
6. Internal Social-NIGYSOB.
7. External Social—they're always out to get you
8. Biological-belligerent exchanges, usually ipsisexual.
9. Existential— people can't be trusted.

4.1.3 Courtroom
Theme Everyone (so and so, the family, some "expert", etc.) agrees that I am right and you are
wrong. Purpose: Use of third-party "muscle" to gain unfair advantage and strong-arm another
into submission. Roles Persecutor/Plaintiff (P), Victim/Defendant (V), Rescuer/Judge or
Outside "expert" Opinion (R).

Classic dirty pool game in families. Also, this game has been found to be so common in
marriage counselling that some therapeutic relationships seem actually to "consist of a
perpetual game of Courtroom, and nothing is ever accomplished, since the game is never
broken up."

The basic premise is that P always seeks out the opinion of others (R), in order to gang up,
psychologically, upon V. P says to R, "she says that I . . . but let me tell you what really
happened . . . I'm sure you can see that it is only reasonable that I . . . don't you agree?" And
then to V, "see I told you that you were wrong!" In fact, it is not even necessary for R to be
present. P may make a habit out of trotting out the supposed opinions of one or more third
parties to add weight to his/her side of the disagreement in order to terrorize V into backing off
in the face of "overwhelming odds." Berne says that P's position is basically dishonest, knowing
that her position is wrong, but hoping to hoodwink a sly victory by bringing in psychological
artillery in the form of "everyone agrees with me that . . ." Further difficulties arise in family
Courtroom from the fact that most people tend to associate with persons of similar scripting,
most notably their parents, from whom their scripts originated, and to whose advantage it is to
support P's cause, no matter how unjust, since cherished illusions which they have in common
are threatened by doing otherwise.

Payoffs (P) false righteousness and vindication of a not-OK position. (V) frustration, anger,
and resentment (R) satisfaction of a helping driver or playing They'll Be Glad They Knew Me.

Antithesis - settling differences on their own merits, while forbidding the use of outside
opinion. In therapy, by disallowing the use of the third person subject in sentences.
4.1.4 Why Don't You. Yes, but . . - (WDYB)
Theme (R) I'll make you grateful for my help / (V) go ahead and try. Purpose Capturing the
centre of attention and vindication of a "They don't know any more than I do" premise, thereby
assuaging the Child's feelings of not-OK'ness. Roles Victim (V), Rescuers (R)

WDYB is the original game archetype, the first game uncovered and studied by Berne. V sets
up the game by presenting a problem and, ostensibly, looking for Adult solutions. Covertly, he
is coming on from his Child as inadequate, and hooking the Parent in his advisors (Rescuers).
Every suggestion that an R offers V is then rejected with, "yes, but . . . ," until no one wants to
play anymore. V, of course, doesn't want the advice, only the attention, and if it goes on long
enough for the switch and the cross up to occur, R may switch to P, attacking V for his
indecisiveness, or for the game itself.

Payoffs - mainly the garnering of recognition/sympathy strokes. There may be a certain sly
satisfaction at making everyone jump through his psychological hoops.

Antithesis - the inverse of this game, as seen from R's point of view, is Called I'm Only Trying
to Help You (ITHY), a common Rescue game. The stopper for WDYB lies in the refusal by R
to begin ITHY. Rather than offering pointless advice, R should throw the ball back to V, asking
what V will do about his problem. The first, "yes, but" should be met with a crossed transaction,
something like: "that's unfortunate," followed by silence.

4.2 SEXUAL GAMES:

Some games are played to exploit or fight off sexual impulses. These are all, in effect,
perversions of the sexual instincts in which the satisfaction is displaced from the sexual act to
the crucial transactions which constitute die payoff of the game. This cannot always be
demonstrated convincingly, because such games are usually played in privacy, so that clinical
information about them has to be obtained second hand, and the informant's bias cannot always
be satisfactorily evaluated.
The psychiatric conception of homosexuality, for example, is heavily skewed, because the
more aggressive and successful "players" do not often come for psychiatric treatment, and die
available material mostly concerns the passive partners.
The games included here are: "Let's You and Him Fight," "Perversion," "Rapo," "Stocking
Game" and "Uproar," In most cases, the agent is a woman. This is because the hard forms of
sexual games in which' the man is the agent verge on or constitute criminality, and properly
belong in the Underworld section.
On the other side, sexual games and marital games overlap, but the ones described here are
readily available to unmarried people as well as to spouses.

4.2.1 Let’s You and Him Fight (LYAHF):

Thesis: Thesis. This may be a maneuver, a ritual or a game. In each case the psychology
is essentially feminine. Because of its dramatic qualities, LYAHF is the basis of much of
the world's literature, both good and bad. 1, As a maneuver it is romantic. The woman
maneuvers or challenges two men into fighting, with the implication or promise that she
will surrender herself to the winner, After the competition is decided, she fulfills her
bargain. This is an honest transaction, and the presumption is that she and her mate live
happily ever after. 2. As a ritual, it tends to be tragic. Custom demands that the two men
fight for her, even if she does not want them to, and even if she has already made her choice.
If the wrong man wins, she must nevertheless take him. In this case it is society and not the
woman who sets up LYAHF. If she is willing, the transaction is an honest one. If she is
unwilling or disappointed, the outcome may offer her considerable scope for playing
games, such as "Let's Pull A Fast One on Joey." 3. As a game it is comic. The woman sets
up the competition, and while the two men are fighting, she decamps with a third. The
internal and external psychological advantages for her and her mate are derived from the
position that honest competition is for suckers, and the comic story they have lived through
forms the basis for the internal and external social advantages.

4.2.2 Perversion:
Thesis: Heterosexual perversions such as fetishism, sadism and masochism are symptomatic
of a confused Child and are treated accordingly. Their transactional aspects, however, as
manifested m actual sexual situations, can be dealt with by means of game analysis. This may
lead to social control, so that even if the warped sexual impulses remain unchanged, they are
neutralized as far as actual indulgence is concerned. People who are suffering from mild
sadistic or masochistic distortions tend to take a primitive kind of Mental Health position. They
feel that they are strongly sexed, and that prolonged abstinence will lead to serious
consequences. Neither of these conclusions is necessarily true, but they form the basis for a
game of "Wooden Leg" with the plea: "What do you expect from someone as strongly sexed
as I am?"

Antithesis: The game of "Homosexuality" has become elaborated into a subculture in many
countries, just as it is ritualized in others. Many of the disabilities which result from
homosexuality arise from making it into a game. The provocative behavior which gives rise
to "Cops and Robbers," "Why Does This Always Happen to Us," "It's the Society We Live
In," "AH Great Men Were" and so forth, is often amenable to social control, which reduces
the handicaps to a minimum. The "professional homosexual" wastes a large amount of time
and energy which could be applied to other ends. Analysis of his games may help him
establish a quiet manage which will leave him free to enjoy the benefits that bourgeois
society offers, instead of devoting himself to playing his own variation of "Ain't It Awful!"
4.2.3 The Stocking Game:
Thesis: This is a game of the "Rapo" family; in it the most obvious characteristic is the
exhibitionism, which is hysterical in nature. A woman comes into a strange group and after
a very short time raises her leg, exposing herself in a provocative way, and remarks, "Oh
my, I have a run in my stocking." This is calculated to arouse the men sexually and to make
the other women angry. Any confrontation of White is met, of course, with protestations of
innocence or counteraccusations, hence the resemblance to classical "Rapo." What is
significant is White's lack of adaptation. She seldom waits to find out what kind of people
she is dealing with or how to time her maneuver. Hence it stands out as inappropriate and
affects her relationships with her associates. In spite of some superficial "sophistication,"
she fails to understand what happens to her in life because her judgment of human nature
is too cynical. The aim is to prove that other people have lascivious minds, and her Adult
is conned by her Child and her Parent (usually a lascivious mother) into ignoring both her
own provocative-ness and the good sense of many of the people she meets. Thus the game
tends to be self-destructive.

Antithesis: Along with the poor adaptation, these women show little tolerance for
antithesis. If the game is ignored or countered by a sophisticated therapy group, for
example, they may not return. Antithesis must be carefully distinguished in this game from
reprisal, since the latter signifies that White has won. Women are more skillful at counter-
moves in "Stocking Game" than men, who indeed have little incentive to break up this
game. Antithesis, therefore, is best left to the discretion of the other women present.

4.3 MARITAL GAMES:

Almost any game can form the scaffolding for married life and family living, But some, like
"If It Weren't For You," prosper better or, like "Frigid Girl," are accepted longer under
contractual privacy law.
Games which characteristically evolve into their most full-blown forms in the
marital relationship includes
1. “Corner,”
2. “It’s all because of you.”
3. “Look How Hard I’ve Tried”
4. “Sweetheart.”

4.3.1 CORNER
Theme: What I am going to do, will be your fault (because you said it, not me).
Purpose: Getting one's way through cheap shot manipulation.
Roles: Victim (V), Persecutor (P)
In this simple game among intimates, P tricks V into ordering or suggesting something which
is to P's advantage, but which V would normally oppose. P and V know each other well, and
have well-established rules of communication. They both know what buttons to press to elicit
typical responses in the other. P sets up a typical exchange then, dishonestly, backs out at some
crucial moment, taking something V says literally when they both know very well that this is
against the rules. P may, for example, want to get out alone with the boys tonight but knows V
will oppose the direct request route. He may then suggest that he and V go out together. When
V accepts, he then "innocently" slips in a remark about V's hair, weight, choice of clothes, etc.,
which is designed to infuriate V, and who then says something like, "Well, if that's the way
you feel, why don't you just go
out by yourself!", and V is Cornered. P says, "Well, I think I'll just do that. Goodbye!" and
leaves in a huff, grinning to himself, rather than sweet talking V out of the hurt feelings, which
they both know is what is really expected.

Payoffs - include sly triumph for P and a sense of superiority of having out maneuvered V. V
collects resentment stamps for being conned.

Antithesis -V may confront and expose the ulterior level of the game, or, better yet, eat a little
crow by saying something like: "I'm sorry. I take that back. Let's go out together," and P is now
the one cornered

4.3.2 “It’s all because of you.”

Mrs. Anderson often complains that she has not achieved much in her life because of her
husband, a tyrant that restricts her from doing anything, even taking dance classes. It’s
interesting that when Mr. White did allow his wife to attend dance classes, it turned out that
she was extremely afraid of dancing. There are probably the same kind of Mrs. Anderson
among your friends and acquaintances.
The game ’It’s all because of you’ is just a way to justify your fear, laziness, or other
reasons that did not allow this woman to take dance classes or something else. In addition,
the guilt she imposed on her husband allowed Mrs. White to receive gifts and other
encouragements from him.

What to do?

This game continues as long as the ban is there. The moment a partner says to his wife ’Go
ahead,’ instead of forbidding her to catch up with her friends, for example, everything will fall
into place. And it’s most likely that her friends are actually busy and she herself doesn’t want
to go anywhere.

4.3.3 “Look How Hard I’ve Tried”

Theme: What I have not done, is not my fault.
Purpose: Release from responsibility.
Roles: Mainly Victim (V)
Mr. Anderson wants a divorce, but he does not want to be the initiator. His wife sees that
something is not going well in the family and invites her husband to visit a psychotherapist.
He agrees but starts to behave even worse, proving that the therapy does not work. In the end,
having gotten tired, Mrs. Anderson files for divorce. Mr. White rejoices — the goal has been
achieved, but there is nothing he can be blamed for because he didn’t want the divorce and
even tried to prevent it.
Another popular example of this game is the situation when one of the spouses does not work
because of laziness. He or she doesn’t say the real reasons for unemployment aloud but
skilfully creates the appearance of an active job search. It allows a person to respond to any
questions angrily: “Can’t you see? I’m trying my best.” After this, a desire to raise this
topic disappears for a long time and there is a sense of guilt because he or she is really trying.

Payoffs - sympathy and respect strokes. Dodging blame and letting oneself off of the
responsibility hook.

Antithesis - therapeutic strategy aimed at the Child to uncover the reason for the avoidance
and at Adult redivision to attempt more honest communication, including direct requests for
stroking

What to do?

The essence of the game is that its initiator transfers the importance from the problem itself
to its alleged solution. The advice here is, don’t go to a therapist or offer assistance with
finding vacancies. Your help is the easiest way to manipulate you because then they will
be able to say “It was your decision and it also doesn’t work, and I’m still trying.”

4.3.4 Sweetheart
This game is usually played in public. Mr. Anderson tells a story or a simple phrase that puts
his wife in an unattractive light and at the end, he adds: “Am I right, sweetheart?” And the
more offensive the story, the more abrasive the word “sweetheart” sounds.
As a result, the goal is achieved: the wife is defiled but the last phrase does not allow her
rebuttal with a bad attitude. Mrs. White starts to get angry, but she has no objective reasons for
anger because her husband is playing like he’s a gentleman, and unreasonable anger will add
one more minus to the group’s perception of her.

What to do?

The first one is the most difficult — to talk to the partner and allow him to tell these kind
of stories, but ask him not to use sweetheart at the end. The second option is to answer the
question ’Am I right, sweetheart?’ ’Yes, honey.’ without any emotions. The third one (it’s
better to use it very rarely) is to tell the same kind of story about the partner without his
permission and finish it with the phrase ’Am I right, honey?’

4.4 Underworld Games

WITH the penetration of the "helping" professions into the courts, probation services and
correctional facilities, and with the the sophistication of criminologists and law enforcement
officers, those involved should be aware of the more prevalent games in the underworld, both
in jail and outside.
4.4.1 Cops & Robbers

Theme: I'm slick. Catch me if you can.

Purpose: Thrills from illicit activity.
Roles Victim/Crook (V), Persecutor/Cop/Judge (P), Rescuer/Lawyer (R).
Cops & Robbers is the thrill game of crime, ranging from jaywalking to income tax cheating,
theft, confidence scams, drug dealing, and even murder. The gamey aspect is that one sets
himself up as a potential victim by stepping outside of the rules, playing a sort of hide-and-
seek with power and authority.
There are, of course, many variations, including: Let's Pull a Fast One on Joey (FOOJY),
Sting, and also, Shylock and Badger, which are set up and confidence scams. If P catches V, R
may intervene before retribution is exacted, and a game of criminal Courtroom ensues, which
may free V for further rounds of Cops and robbers.

Payoffs - true C&R players play, not so much for the gains of the crime, but rather, for the
thrill of the chase, of the con, of the sting, of outwitting or putting one over on the system by
getting away with a prohibited act. Play may also seek to vindicate a secondary stance of
arrogance, which compensates for a not-OK Child.

Antithesis - criminal antisocial behaviour results from personality dysfunction and can,
therefore, be cured by script analysis and resolution through transactional psychotherapy.
Rehabilitation can and will work if we reform the correctional system so that the proper tools
are brought to bear. The final five games presented here have the common purpose of
attempting to evade personal responsibility by presenting evidence of blamelessness, by
blaming another, or by tricking that other into self-blame.

4.5 Party Games

4.5.1 Blemish

Theme Fault finding.

Purpose To keep everyone, including oneself, looking in the other direction.
Roles Victim (V), Persecutor (P) (often switching to Rescuer).

Blemish is commonly played from the Persecutor (P) by persons who have adopted a secondary
existential stance of arrogance (I'm better) in order to compensate for a depressive (I'm not-
OK) primary position. By constantly pointing the finger at the shortcomings, real or imagined,
of others, she avoids the spotlight and having to examine her own feelings of inadequacy. This
person rarely ever gives straight complements or genuine praise. There always follows the
conditional modifier: "That is really quite nice, except . . . " Blemish players never feel
comfortable around someone until they locate a chink in their armour, some convenient handle
for fault finding. There is often a role switch, with P shifting to Rescuer mode - "I hope you
don't mind honest criticism . . . I'm only trying to help you . . . " P may be so socially inept that
a round of Blemish is, sadly, the only type of opening line she knows. She may show great
ingenuity in the inventing of a blemish in order to follow it up with, "but that's OK, even I do
that myself sometimes . . . let me show you how I deal with it . . . ," attempting to initiate a
twisted form of closeness. Chronic Blemish players are universally annoying to almost anyone
without a strong uncompensated inferiority/ masochism streak. Consequently, their circle of
friends is often severely limited, and relationships are generally seriously dysfunctional,
mutually parasitic, power paradigms.

Payoffs - include the vindication of arrogance, keeping the conscience blind, and avoiding the
effort to improve, since it is "they" who have the problems, not I.

Antithesis - these people will come under professional scrutiny during relationship therapy.
Confrontation with the chronic fault finding and conditional praise is a start. Efforts should be
aimed at helping the person discover/disclose the nature of the barrier to intimacy and of the
not-OK in
the Child.

4.5.2 Why Don't You . . . Yes, but . . . - (WDYB)

Theme (R) I'll make you grateful for my help / (V) go ahead and try.
Purpose Capturing the center of attention and vindication of a "They don't know any more
than I do" premise, thereby assuaging the Child's feelings of not- OK'ness.
Roles Victim (V), Rescuers (R)

Why Don't You . . . Yes, but is the original game archetype, the first game uncovered and
studied by Berne. V sets up the game by presenting a problem and, ostensibly, looking for
Adult solutions. Covertly, he is coming on from his Child as inadequate, and hooking the Parent
in his advisors (Rescuers). Every suggestion that an R offers V is then rejected with, "yes, but
" until no one wants to play anymore. V, of course, doesn't want the advice, only the attention,
and if it goes on long enough for the switch and the cross up to occur, R may switch to P,
attacking V for his indecisiveness, or for the game itself.

Payoffs - mainly the garnering of recognition/sympathy strokes. There may be a certain sly
satisfaction at making everyone jump through his psychological hoops.

Antithesis - the inverse of this game, as seen from R's point of view, is Called I'm Only Trying
to Help You (ITHY), a common Rescue game. The stopper for WDYB lies in the refusal by R
to begin ITHY. Rather than offering pointless advice, R should throw the ball back to V, asking
what V will do about his problem. The first, "yes, but" should be met with a crossed transaction,
something like: "that's unfortunate," followed by silence.
 CHAPTER -5
SIGNIFICANCE AND APPLICATIONS OF GAMES

 Social Significance of Games The games, as it were, was sandwiched between

pastimes and intimacy. Just like promotional cocktail parties, passtimes grow
boring with repetition. Intimacy requires strict circumspection, and Parent, Adult,
and Child discriminate against it. Society smears candor, except in privacy; good
sense knows it can always be abused; And the Child is scared of it because of the
unmasking that it requires. Therefore, in order to get away from the ennui of
pastimes without exposing oneself to the risks of intimacy, most people settle for
games when they are convenient, and these occupy the bulk of the more interesting
hours of social intercourse. That is the social importance of games
 Historical significance of Games: Games are passed down from one generation to
another. Any individual's favorite game can be traced back to his parents and
grandparents and transmitted to his children; they, in effect, will teach them to his
grandchildren unless there is a positive intervention. Game analysis thus takes place
in a vast historical structure, demonstrably going back as far as one hundred years
and accurately predicted into the future for at least fifty years. Breaking this chain
may have geometrically progressive consequences, affecting five or more
generations. There are many living persons with more than 200 descendants. Games
can be modified or changed from one generation to the next, but there seems to be
a strong tendency to inbreed with people playing a game of the same species, if not
of the same genus. That's the real importance of games.
 Culture Significance of Games "Raising" kids is mostly about showing them what
games to play with. Different cultures and different classes of society prefer
different kinds of games, and different tribes and families favor different variations
of these. That is what games mean historically
 Personal Significance of Games: People Choose other people who are playing
the same games as colleagues, acquaintances and intimates. Therefore, in a given
social circle (aristocracy, youth group, social club, college campus, etc.) "everyone
who is everyone" behaves in a way that n: ay seems quite alien to members of a
different social circle. On the other hand, any member of a social circle who changes
his games will continue to be extruded, but in some other social circle he will find
himself welcome. That is the real sense of sports.
 CHAPTER 6
BEYOND GAMES

6.1 Players
Games are played most vigorously by disturbed people; generally speaking, the more disturbed
they are, the more difficult they are to play–interestingly enough, however, some schizophrenic
people seem to refuse to play games and demand candidness from the outset. Two groups of
people play games with the utmost confidence in everyday life: the Sulks, and the Jerks or
Squares
The Sulk: The Sulk is a man angry with his mother. Upon investigation it emerges that since
early childhood he has been angry at her. He often has valid "kids" explanations for his anger:
during a critical period in his boyhood she may have "deserted" him by getting sick and going
to the hospital or she may have given birth to too many siblings. The desertion is sometimes
more deliberate; she could have farmed him out to remarry. He's been sulking ever since, in
any event. Though he may be a Don Juan, he doesn't like women. Because sulking is intentional
at its inception, at any time of life, the 76 decision to sulk can be reversed just as it can be when
it comes to dinner during childhood.

Sometimes a game of "Psychiatry" can be stopped by reversing a decision to sulk, which might
otherwise last several years. It includes cautious careful planning, and correct pacing and
approach. Clumsiness or manipulation on the therapist's part will have no better result than
with a sulky little boy; the patient will pay the therapist back for his mishandling in the long
run, The patient must compensate the psychiatrist for his mishandling, just as the little boy will
finally repay the mischievous parents.

The Jerk: Everybody has a bit of Jerk, but the purpose of the game analysis is to keep it to a
minimum. A Jerk is someone who is too prone to pressures from the parent. During critical
moments, however, his adult data processing and the spontaneity of his child are likely to be
interfered with, resulting during improper or sloppy behaviour.

6.2 Paradigm
CONSIDER the following exchange between a patient (P) and a therapist (T):
“P”. "I have a new project—being on time.
" T. "I'll try to cooperate.

" P. "I don't care about you. I'm doing it for myself . Guess what grade I got on my history
test!"
“T”. "B+.
" P. "How did you know?"
T. "Because you're afraid to get an A.

" P. "Yes, I had an A, and I went over my paper and crossed out three correct answers and put
in three wrong ones.
" T. "I like this conversation. It's Jerk-free.

" P. "You know, last night I was thinking how much progress I've made. I figured I was only
17% Jerk now.
" T. "Well, so far this morning, it's zero, so you're entitled to 34% discount on the next round.

" P. "It all started six months ago, the time I was staring at my coffee pot, and I actually saw it
for the first time. And you know how it's like now, because I hear the birds sing, and I look at
people and they're really there as people. And I'm not just there but I'm here right now. I was
standing in the art gallery the other day looking at a picture and a man came up and said,'
Gauguin is really cool, isn't he? So I said,' I also like you.' So we went out and had a drink and
he's a very nice guy. "This is described as a Jerk-free, game-free interaction between two
autonomous adults, with annotations to die after.

"I've got a new project — being on time." This announcement was made following the fact.
The patient had been almost always late. Not that she was this time. If punctuality had been a
compromise, an act of "will power," a Parent's compulsion on the infant, made only to be
violated, it would have been declared before the fact: "This is the last time I'll be late."

"I'll try to cooperate." This was not a "supportive" statement, nor the first move in a new
game of "I'm Only Trying to Help You, The transaction was an Adult contract which both of
them kept, and not a Child teasing a Parental figure who because of his position felt forced to
be a "good daddy" and say he would cooperate.
"I don't care about you." ."This underlines that its timeliness is a judgment, not a settlement
to be abused as part of a pseudo-compliant game.

"Guess what grade I got." This is a pastime they both heard about and felt free to indulge in.
He didn't need to show how alert he was by telling her that it was a pastime, something she
already knew, and she didn't need to refrain from playing it just because it was called a pastime.

"B+." The psychiatrist reckoned to be the only grade appropriate in her case, and there was
no excuse not to do so. False modesty or a fear of being wrong could have led him to pretend
he didn't know.

"How did you know?" This was an Adult question, not a game of "Gee You're Wonderful,"
and it deserved a pertinent answer.

"Yes, I had an A." This was the real test. The patient did not sulk with rationalizations or
pleas, but faced her Child squarely.
 "I like this conversation." This and the following semi-facetious remarks were expressions
of mutual Adult respect, with perhaps a little Parent-Child pastime, which again was optional
with both of them, and of which they were both aware.

"For the first time I really saw it." She is now entitled to her own kind of awareness and is
no longer obliged to see coffeepots and people the way her parents told her to.
"Right now I'm here." She no longer lives in the future or the past, but can discuss them briefly if it
serves a useful purpose.

"I said: 'I like you too.'" She is not obliged-to waste time playing "Art Gallery" with the newcomer,
although she could if she chose to.

For his part, the therapist does not feel compelled to play "Psychiatry." There were several chances to
raise questions of security, transference and symbolic perception, but he was able to let them go without
experiencing any discomfort However, it did seem worthwhile to determine which answers she crossed
out on her test for future reference. Unfortunately, the 17 percent of Jerk left in the patient during the
remainder of the hour and the 18 percent left in the therapist from time to time showed up. In summary,
the proceedings given constitute an operation illuminated with a certain amount of pastime.

6.3 Autonomy of Games

The achievement of autonomy expresses itself through the release or recovery of three
capacities:

 Awareness
 Spontaneity
 Intimacy

Awareness: Awareness means the ability to see a coffee pot and hear the birds sing in one's
own way and not one's way of teaching. It can be concluded on good grounds that seeing and
listening are of a different quality for children than for grown-ups,1 and in the first years of life
they are more esthetic and less intelligent.
Spontaneity. Spontaneity means option, the freedom to choose and express one's feelings from
the assortment available (Parent feelings, Adult Feelings and Child feelings). It means
liberation, liberation from the compulsion to play games and have only the feelings one was
taught to have.
Intimacy means the spontaneous, game-free candidness of an aware person, the liberation of
the eidetically perceptive, uncorrupted Child in all its naivete" living in the here and now. It
can be shown experimentally that eidetic perception evokes affection, and that candidness
mobilizes positive feelings, so that there is even such a thing as "one-sided intimacy" - a
phenomenon well known, although not by that name, to professional seducers, who are able to
capture their partners without becoming involved themselves. This they do by encouraging the
other person to look at them directly and to talk Freely, while the male or Female seducer
makes only a well-guarded pretense of reciprocating. Because intimacy is essentially a function
of the natural Child (although expressed in a matrix of psychological and social complications),
it tends to turn out well if not disturbed by the intervention of games. Usually the adaptation to
Parental influences is what spoils it, and most unfortunately this is almost a universal
occurrence. But before, unless and until they are corrupted, most infants seem to be loving,4
and that is the essential nature of intimacy, as shown experimentally.

6.4 The Attainment of Autonomy

Parents actively or unconsciously teach their children how to act, drink, sound and experience
from birth. Liberation from these forces is no easy matter, as they are deeply ingrained and
necessary for biological and social survival during the first two or three decades of life.
Nevertheless, such emancipation is possible only because the child starts in an autonomous
state, that is, capable of consciousness, spontaneity and intimacy, and he has some choice as to
which sections of the teachings his parents will embrace. Early in life he decides how he will
adapt to diem at certain moments. It is because its adaptation is in the nature of a number of
decisions that it can be undone, because decisions are reversible in favourable circumstances.
And such overthrow is never final: an ongoing struggle against the old ways of sinking back
in. Next, the weight of a whole historical tribal or family tradition must be eliminated, as in the
case of Margaret Mead's villagers in New Guinea1; then the influence of the individual
parental, social and cultural background must be discarded
The same must be done with the demands of contemporary society, and the advantages
extracted from one's immediate social circle must be compromised in part or entirely. You then
have to give up all the simple indulgences and bonuses of being a Sulk or a Jerk. Subsequently,
the adult must gain personal and social control, so that all the behavioural groups mentioned in
the Appendix, except perhaps dreams, become free choices subject only to his will. He's then
set for game-free relationships like that shown in the paradigm, At this stage he may be able to
develop his autonomy capabilities. In fact, the whole planning consists of receiving a healthy
divorce from one's parents (and from other parental influences) so that they can be visited
comfortably around times but are no longer dominant.
 CHAPTER 7
SUMMARY

The premise of Games People Play is that human beings as children are imbued with certain
rituals, needs, desires, and thoughts by their parents and by their society. As they become
adults, they do not fully transition from child to adult. Their relationships with others,
characterized by the scripts they are willing to engage in, are not fully autonomous. A part of
the adult’s psyche is a child who has unmet needs. For example, the boy that was neglected by
his mother because she was preoccupied with other things, like taking care of his siblings, will
feel a certain subconscious resentment to his mother even in adulthood.

Games are different from rituals, they are patterns of behaviour that have a payoff in the end.
We subconsciously engage in these games for several reasons, including the dominance of the
child personality within us, but also because games are somewhat predictable and help us avoid
intimacy that is sometimes inappropriate or uncomfortable in social settings. But games are not
restricted to social settings, there are all kinds of games, from sexual to marital to family etc…
Some are life games. One described in the book is the one between the domineering husband
and submissive wife. The husband tells his wife to take care of the home, while the wife blames
him for not allowing her to fulfil her potential or be happier.

The purpose of knowing about these games is to free oneself of parental conditioning, but it is
a constant struggle because it requires a series of decisions to be made that are reversible. It is
a constant effort. The final goal is to enter relationships where games do not exist, where the
personality is not a pathological mix of adult and child but is now wholly an adult one. This
requires a friendly divorce from the parents in that they are no longer dominant but are visited
occasionally. The easier solution is to congregate. There is safety in numbers and in groups
even if the individual members are plagued by pathologies. It is difficult to look for intimacy
and find something that is more valuable than games, to reject your past programming by
embracing spontaneity, or by choosing to become aware and transcending all behavioral
patterns. By engaging in popular social action, you may safely isolate yourself from these
challenges, and it is tempting for most people. For that reason, there is probably no hope for
the human race, but there may be hope for the individual.