EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

FOR MANAGERS
JENNIFER K. STINE, PH.D.
COURSE OVERVIEW

• Emotional Intelligence and Management

•  What is Emotional Intelligence + Reflection + Quiz
•  The Four EI Competencies + Reflection + Quiz
• EI and Leadership
•  What an emotionally intelligent leader does + Quiz
•  Introduction to six leadership styles + Quiz
• Practice with the six leadership styles + Reflection
PART 1: EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE AND
MANAGEMENT
QUALITIES OF YOUR BEST MANAGER OR MENTOR
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND LEADERSHIP
THE FOUR EI COMPETENCIES
QUALITIES OF YOUR BEST MANAGER
OR MENTOR

(1) WRITE DOWN FIVE TO SEVEN

CHARACTERISTICS
(2) NEXT TO EACH WRITE “IQ (SMARTS), TK
(TECHNICAL KNOWLEDGE) OR SS (SOFT SKILLS)
COURSE SUPPORT: I WOULD LIKE A THREE QUESTION POLL HERE:

HOW MANY IQ (SMARTS) SKILLS DID YOU IDENTIFY: 0, 1-2, 3 OR MORE

HOW MANY TK (TECHNICAL KNOWLEDGE) SKILLS DID YOU IDENTIFY: 0, 1-2,

3 OR MORE

HOW MANY SS (SOFT SKILLS) DID YOU IDENTIFY: 0, 1-2, 3 OR MORE

WHAT IS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE?

• To recognize your own emotions, and those of others

• To regulate your emotions across social situations so
as to manage your behavior and relationships
“The ability to
understand and manage
men and women and
boys and girls, to act “The ability to monitor
wisely in human one’s own and others’
relations“ feelings, to discriminate
Edward Thorndike among them, and to use
(1920) this information to guide
one’s thinking and action.”
Peter Salovey and John D.
Mayer (1990)
LET’S TRY…
Rae is a middle-of-the-pack performer on your team.
Recently, Rae has missed several team meetings due to
“appointments” outside of work, and you are annoyed.
Rae has just sent the following email:
“Hi again, sorry for the late notice but I can’t be at our
meeting this afternoon. Will upload my code this evening.”
What could be going on with Rae? Chat in “I think…”
What might you ask Rae? Chat in “I would ask…”
“IQ contributes about 20 percent to the factors that
determines life success, which leaves 80 percent to other
sources.” - Daniel Goleman

Social
Behaviors

Traits Competencies

EI
EI APPLICATIONS
ü  Delivering performance feedback
ü  Managing difficult customers
ü  Motivating your team
ü  Resolving team conflict situations

Other…. [please chat in]?

“At its heart, it is about identifying emotional
responses (yours and others) and tailoring
communication to effectively manage interactions.”
- D. Goleman
QUICK QUIZ
1.  Which is NOT part of the definition of emotional
intelligence
a)  To recognize your own emotions, and those of others
b)  To regulate your emotions across social situations
c)  To manage your behavior and relationships
d)  On-time delivery of projects
Answer: (d), although EI can help you indirectly
through improved relationships
QUICK QUIZ

2.  True or False: You can develop your

emotional intelligence.

Answer: True! Training, accepting feedback

from others, practice and reflection are all
ways to develop your emotional intelligence.
THE FOUR EI COMPETENCIES
SELF-AWARENESS
INWARD FOCUS
SELF MANAGEMENT
SOCIAL AWARENESS
INTERPERSONAL AWARENESS
RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT
INWARD FOCUS
SELF-AWARENESS
SELF MANAGEMENT
#1 SELF-AWARENESS
KNOWING WHO YOU ARE, AND HOW YOU ARE PERCEIVED BY
OTHERS

• Accurately perceiving your own emotions

• Knowing your tendencies in different situations
• Recognizing how your feelings affect you, affect others, and
affect your job performance
• Assessing yourself realistically
• Knowing what you do well, what motivates and satisfies you,
and what people and situations push your buttons
 SELF-AWARENESS STRATEGIES

• Quit treating feelings as good • Stop and ask yourself ‘why’

or bad you do the things you do
Note a few
• Observe the ripple effect of • Visit your values you might
your emotions develop/
• Know your strengths and practice
• Lean into discomfort weaknesses
• Know who and what pushes • Seek feedback
your buttons • Get to know yourself under
• Watch yourself like a hawk stress
#2 SELF MANAGEMENT
STAYING IN CONTROL OF YOUR FEELINGS & DIRECTING YOUR
BEHAVIOR POSITIVELY
•  Put momentary needs on hold to pursue larger, more important goals
•  Rather than reacting to a bad situation, take time to pick your words
carefully
•  Behave reasonably and thereby create environments of trust and fairness
•  Reflect on situations; don’t rush to judgement
•  Say no to impulsive urges
•  Demonstrate a drive to achieve, even in the face of failure
•  Show organizational commitment
 SELF MANAGEMENT STRATEGIES
• Breathe •  Focus on freedoms rather than
limitations
• Make your goals public Note a few
•  Speak to someone NOT you might
• Count to ten emotionally invested in your develop/
practice
• Sleep on it problem

• Smile & laugh more •  Learn a valuable lesson from

everyone you encounter
• Visualize yourself succeeding •  Accept that change is just around
• Sleep the corner
DEVELOPING YOUR INWARD FOCUS
1.  Think about typical situations where EI skills are important in your
role (for example working with certain people? Making tough
decisions?). How do you tend to feel and behave in this situation?
Could you behave differently and get a better result?
2.  Consider opportunities for improving the way you manage your:
•  Time
•  Energy
•  Health
•  Motivation
INTERPERSONAL AWARENESS
SOCIAL AWARENESS
RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT
#3 SOCIAL AWARENESS
UNDERSTANDING WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE THINKING AND FEELING

• Picking up on the feelings of others, even if you do

not feel the same way
• Listening and observing (which means, not talking)
• Empathy
• Focus on others
EMPATHY…A CONFUSING CONCEPT
Cognitive Empathy:
•  Ability to understand another person’s perspective (you “think” other’s
feelings rather than feeling them directly).
Emotional Empathy:
•  Feeling what someone feels (important for mentoring, managing clients,
reading group dynamics)
Empathetic Concern:
•  Ability to sense what another person needs from you (what we look for in
our doctor, spouse, and boss)
 SOCIAL AWARENESS STRATEGIES

• Greet people by name • Practice the art of listening

• Watch body language • Go people watching
Note a few
• Develop a back-pocket • Treat others as they want to beyou might
question develop/
treated practice
• Pay attention to timing • Test for accuracy
• Plan ahead for social
gatherings
• Step into their shoes
• Live in the moment • Get feedback
#4 RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT
USING YOUR AWARENESS OF YOUR EMOTIONS AND EMOTIONS OF
OTHERS TO MANAGE INTERACTIONS SUCCESSFULLY

• Builds on self-awareness, self management, and social awareness

• Includes clear communication and effective handling of conflict
• The bond you build with others over time
• How you understand people, how you treat them, and the history
you share
• “Friendliness with a purpose”: finding common ground, building
rapport
• Behaving in ways that put others at ease
 RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT STRATEGIES
• Be open and curious • Have an ‘open door’ policy Note a few
(but
you not
might
• Enhance your natural communication when you are stressed) develop/
practice
style • Only get mad on purpose
• Avoid giving mixed signals • Acknowledge the other person’s
feelings
• Remember little things are big things
• When you care, show it
• Take feedback well
• Explain your decisions, don’t just
• Be reliable (build trust) make them
• Offer “this is hard” or “how do you • Tackle a tough conversation
feel”
DEVELOPING YOUR INTERPERSONAL
AWARENESS
1. Think about a challenging or emotionally charged
situation with another person at work: How did that
person experience you? How well are your intentions
translated to him/her? How do you know this?
2. Pick one person at work with whom you’d like to
improve your relationship, and think of a few things you
might try.
QUICK QUIZ

3.  Which of the following is an EI “competency”?

(a) Self-Awareness
(b) Self Management
(c) Social awareness
(d) Relationship management
(e) All of the above
Answer: (e) All of the above!
QUICK QUIZ

4.  True or false: The ability to manage relationships relies

on the three other EI competencies (that is, self-
awareness, self management, social awareness)?

Answer: TRUE! In order to improve relationships you start

by improving your self awareness, self management, and
social awareness.
EI AND LEADERSHIP
WHAT AN EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT LEADER DOES
CLIMATE & LEADERSHIP
SIX LEADERSHIP STYLES
REVIEW: THE FOUR EI COMPETENCIES

• Self-Awareness
INWARD FOCUS
• Self Management
• Social awareness
INTERPERSONAL AWARENESS
• Relationship management
WHAT IS THE MOST MOTIVATING THING A
MANAGER OR LEADER HAS SAID TO YOU?

REFLECT, THEN CHAT IN…

#1 SELF-AWARENESS IN LEADERS
Emotional Self- Accurate Self- Self
Awareness Assessment Confidence
•  Attuned to inner •  Know both limitations •  Play to strengths
signals and strengths •  Welcome a difficult
•  Recognize how •  Exhibit a sense of assignment
feelings affect their humor about self •  Sense of presence
performance •  Willing to learn and •  Self-assurance
•  Attuned to guiding improve •  Stand out in a group
values •  Welcome constructive
•  Can speak openly feedback
about emotions and
vision
#2 SELF MANAGEMENT
IN LEADERS
Self Control Transparency Adaptability
•  Calm •  Live values •  Can adjust
•  Unflappable •  Admit mistakes •  Can juggle

Achievement Initiative Optimism

•  Challenging •  Seizes or •  ‘Rolls with
goals creates punches’
•  Always learning opportunities •  ‘Glass half full’
#3 SOCIAL AWARENESS IN LEADERS
Organizational
Empathy Service
Awareness
•  Attuned to a wide •  Politically astute: •  Foster an emotional
range of emotional able to detect crucial climate that benefits
signals social networks and customers and clients
•  Sensing the felt, but read key power •  Monitors customer or
unspoken emotions in relationships client satisfaction to
a person or group •  Understand guiding ensure they get what
•  Able to get along values and unspoken they need
with people of rules •  Make themselves
diverse backgrounds available as needed
#4 RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT
IN LEADERS

Developing
Inspiration Influence
Others

Change Conflict Teamwork &

Catalyst Management Collaboration
SIX LEADERSHIP STYLES
Coercive Authoritative Affiliative

•  Demand •  Mobilize people •  Create

immediate toward a vision emotional bonds
compliance and harmony

Democratic Pacesetting Coaching

•  Build consensus •  Expect •  Develop people

through excellence and for the future
participation self-direction
CLIMATE:
WORKING ATMOSPHERE OF A COMPANY, DIVISION OR TEAM

1. Its flexibility - how free employees feel to innovate

2. Employee’s sense of responsibility to the organization
3. The level of standards that people set
4. The sense of accuracy of performance feedback and
aptness of rewards
5. The level of commitment to a common purpose
STYLE 1: COERCIVE

Coercive
Use: in emergency
• Demand immediate situations, with
compliance problem employees
• “Do what I tell you”
Impact on Climate:
Drive to achieve, Negative
Initiative, Self-control
SIX LEADERSHIP STYLES: EI COMPETENCIES

Authoritative
Use: When a new
• Mobilize people toward vision or clear
a vision direction is needed.
• “Come with me”
Impact on Climate:
Most strongly positive
Self confidence,
Empathy, Change
catalyst
SIX LEADERSHIP STYLES: EI COMPETENCIES
Affiliative
Use: to rebuild morale
• Create emotional and in times of change
bonds and harmony
or crisis
• “People come first”
Empathy, Impact on Climate:
Building
Positive
Relationships,
Communication
SIX LEADERSHIP STYLES: EI COMPETENCIES
Democratic
Use: to build buy-in
• Build consensus through and consensus; to get
participation input
• “What do you think?”
Impact on Climate:
Collaboration, Positive
Team Leadership,
Communication
SIX LEADERSHIP STYLES: EI COMPETENCIES
Pacesetting
Use: to get quick
• Expect excellence and
results from a
self-direction motivated,
• “Do as I do, now” knowledgeable team.

Conscientiousness, Impact on Climate:

Drive to achieve, Negative
Initiative
SIX LEADERSHIP STYLES: EI COMPETENCIES
Coaching
Use: to help an
employee improve
• Develop people for the
performance or build
• future
long-term skills.
• “Try this”
Developing others, Impact on Climate:
Empathy, Self-
Positive
awareness
THE KEY:
USING
SEVERAL
STYLES
QUICK QUIZ

1.  Which styles have a NEGATIVE impact on climate?

a)  Democratic and Affiliative
b)  Authoritative and Pacesetting
c)  Coaching and Affiliative
d)  Coercive and Pacesetting
Answer: (D), both of these styles should be used only
occasionally as they can impact morale & motivation
QUICK QUIZ

4.  True or false: Once a team has developed a

negative climate, nothing can be done to improve it.

Answer: False! By practicing some of the leadership

styles that improve climate you can improve morale
and motivation, although give people time
"If I make deposits into an Emotional Bank
Account with you through courtesy, kindness,
honesty, and keeping my commitments to you, I
build up a reserve. Your trust toward me
becomes higher, and I can call upon that trust
many times if I need to.
I can even make mistakes and that trust level,
that emotional reserve, will compensate for it.
My communication may not be clear, but you'll
get my meaning anyway.”
- Stephen Covey
PART 3: SIX LEADERSHIP
STYLES IN PRACTICE
AUTHORITATIVE
COERCIVE
DEMOCRATIC
COACHING
PACESETTING
AFFILIATIVE
SIX LEADERSHIP STYLES
Coercive Authoritative Affiliative

•  Demand immediate •  Mobilize people •  Create emotional

compliance toward a vision bonds and harmony
•  “Do what I tell you” •  “Come with me” •  “People come first”
•  NEGATIVE •  MOST POSITIVE •  POSITIVE

Democratic Pacesetting Coaching

•  Build consensus •  Expect excellence •  Develop people for

through participation and self-direction the future
•  “What do you think?” •  “Do as I do, now” •  “Try this”
•  POSITIVE •  NEGATIVE •  POSITIVE
 WHAT STYLE IS THIS?
WHEN MIGHT YOU USE IT?

A NEW MANAGER IS BROUGHT IN FROM OUTSIDE TO

TURN-AROUND A DIVISION. HE STARTS CUTTING JOBS
AND REORGANIZING WORK – THINGS THAT SHOULD
HAVE BEEN DONE YEARS BEFORE. BUT HE IS SEEN AS A
BULLY AND HIS REPORTS START AVOIDING HIM.
COERCIVE
•  NEGATIVE IMPACT ON CLIMATE
•  USE ONLY IF NECESSARY
•  ALWAYS USE IT IN A TRUE EMERGENCY
•  CAN WORK WITH PROBLEM EMPLOYEES WHEN ALL
ELSE HAS FAILED
 WHAT STYLE IS THIS?
WHEN MIGHT YOU USE IT?

A COACH PRAISES A TEAM MEMBER WHOSE FATHER

DIED, CALLING HIM A “WARRIOR”. HE ALSO PRAISES
TWO PLAYERS IN THE NEXT YEAR WHOSE RETURN WAS
THREATENED BY CONTRACT DISPUTES, SENDING A
CLEAR MESSAGE TO THE CLUB’S OWNER HE VALUED
THEM IMMENSELY – TOO MUCH TO LOSE THEM.
AFFILIATIVE
•  POSITIVE IMPACT ON CLIMATE
•  USE TO BUILD TRUST, HARMONY, IMPROVE MORALE
•  IF USED ALONE CAN ALLOW POOR PERFORMANCE TO
GO UNCORRECTED.
•  IN COMPLEX SITUATIONS IT CAN LEAD TO FAILURE BY
NOT PROVIDING ENOUGH DIRECTION
 WHAT STYLE IS THIS?
WHEN MIGHT YOU USE IT?

THE DEPARTMENT HEAD SET EXTREMELY HIGH

STANDARDS AND WORKED TIRELESSLY TO MEET AND
EXCEED THEM. WHEN OTHERS IN HIS GROUP DID NOT
MEET HIS STANDARDS, THEY WERE TRANSITIONED OUT
AND REPLACED.
PACESETTING
•  NEGATIVE IMPACT ON CLIMATE
•  EMPLOYEES CAN FEEL OVERWHELMED AND MORALE
WILL DROP
•  CAN WORK WELL WITH TEAMS OF HIGHLY TRAINED
AND MOTIVATED PROFESSIONS, BUT SHOULD NOT BE
USED ALONE.
 WHAT STYLE IS THIS?
WHEN MIGHT YOU USE IT?
A NEW VP SET THE STAGE FOR A TURN-AROUND BY
MAKING AN IMPASSIONED PLEA – CHARACTERIZED BY
ENTHUSIASM AND A CLEAR VISION – FOR THE COMPANY
TO THINK FROM CUSTOMERS’ PERSPECTIVES. THE
APPROACH WAS BUILT INTO THE MISSION STATEMENT AND
SHARED.
AUTHORITATIVE
•  MOST POSITIVE IMPACT ON CLIMATE
•  MAKES IT CLEAR HOW WORK FITS INTO A LARGER VISION FOR
THE ORGANIZATION
•  PEOPLE UNDERSTAND WHY WHAT THEY DO MATTERS,
MAXIMIZING COMMITMENT
•  DEFINES STANDARDS AND GIVES FEEDBACK THAT REVOLVES
AROUND THE VISION
•  DOESN’T WORK AS WELL WITH A TEAM OF EXPERTS – CAN
COME ACROSS AS POMPOUS OR OUT-OF-TOUCH
 WHAT STYLE IS THIS?
WHEN MIGHT YOU USE IT?

A MANAGER CHOSE TO REDEFINE IN HIS GROUP

ROLES. ONE REPORT WAS UNHAPPY AND WENT OVER
HIS HEAD TO COMPLAIN. RATHER THAN GETTING
ANGRY, THE MANAGER SAT DOWN WITH THE REPORT
AND EXPLAINED THE ADVANTAGES OF THE NEWLY
DEFINED ROLE.
COACHING
•  POSITIVE IMPACT ON CLIMATE
•  HELP IDENTIFY UNIQUE STRENGTHS AND TIE TO PERSONAL
CAREER ASPIRATIONS
•  ENCOURAGE LONG TERM GOALS AND DEVELOPMENT
PLANS
•  GIVE LOTS OF INSTRUCTION AND FEEDBACK
•  MOST EFFECTIVE WITH EMPLOYEES WHO ARE RECEPTIVE TO
BEING COACHED
 WHAT STYLE IS THIS?
WHEN MIGHT YOU USE IT?

AN UNEXPECTED BUDGET CUT CAME THROUGH THAT

WOULD SIGNIFICANTLY IMPACT HIRING. THE MANAGER
BROUGHT THE TEAM TOGETHER AND EXPLAINED THE
SITUATION IN DETAIL, GETTING THEIR IDEAS AND HEARING
THEIR FRUSTRATIONS. AFTER THREE MORE MEETINGS THERE
WAS CONSENSUS ON A PLAN FORWARD.
DEMOCRATIC
•  POSITIVE IMPACT ON CLIMATE
•  BY SPENDING TIME GETTING PEOPLE’S IDEAS YOU BUILD
TRUST, RESPECT AND BUY-IN
•  PEOPLE HAVE A SAY
•  THEY CAN BE VERY REALISTIC ABOUT WHAT IS AND ISN’T
POSSIBLE
•  CAN RESULT IN ENDLESS MEETINGS AND A SENSE OF
FEELING “LEADERLESS”
THINKING BACK…AND FORWARD

In the next two weeks:

• What will you do more of?
• What will you do less of?
• How will you know you’ve improved your EI?
THANK YOU! AND A QUOTE
“GO TO THE PEOPLE. LIVE WITH THEM. LEARN FROM
THEM. LOVE THEM. START WITH WHAT THEY KNOW.
BUILD WITH WHAT THEY HAVE. BUT WITH THE BEST
LEADERS, WHEN THE WORK IS DONE, THE TASK
ACCOMPLISHED, THE PEOPLE WILL SAY 'WE HAVE DONE
THIS OURSELVES'.”
― LAO TZU