Treat Yo’Self
A self care inspiration and workbook
By Claire Michelson
Authors note: In the airplane we are told to always put our own oxygen mask on before assisting
others. This is the fundamental concept of self care. Before we can be good friends, parents, siblings,
teachers, mentors, bosses, change-makers, students, artists, social justice activists, allies, leaders, and
before we can be helpful to ourselves and others, we must take care of our selves first. This is not
selfish. It is courageous and wise. Self care looks like a million different acts that are unique to each
individual (I like to eat pizza in my bathtub or drive to the train tracks to listen to the rumbles booms
and clangs). Whatever self care means to you, I hope this workbook helps you continue to give yourself
patience, gentleness, humor, simplicity, care, and above all, love.
Much love,
Claire
My friends, do not lose heart. We were made for these times. I have heard from so
many recently who are deeply and properly bewildered. They are concerned about
the state of affairs in our world now. Ours is a time of almost daily astonishment
and often righteous rage over the latest degradations of what matters most to
civilized, visionary people.
You are right in your assessments. The lustre and hubris some have aspired to while
endorsing acts so heinous against children, elders, everyday people, the poor, the
unguarded, the helpless, is breathtaking. Yet, I urge you, ask you, gentle you, to
please not spend your spirit dry by bewailing these difficult times. Especially do not
lose hope. Most particularly because, the fact is that we were made for these times.
Yes. For years, we have been learning, practicing, been in training for and just
waiting to meet on this exact plain of engagement.
I grew up on the Great Lakes and recognize a seaworthy vessel when I see one.
Regarding awakened souls, there have never been more able vessels in the waters
than there are right now across the world. And they are fully provisioned and able
to signal one another as never before in the history of humankind.
Look out over the prow; there are millions of boats of righteous souls on the waters
with you. Even though your veneers may shiver from every wave in this stormy roil,
I assure you that the long timbers composing your prow and rudder come from a
greater forest. That long-grained lumber is known to withstand storms, to hold
together, to hold its own, and to advance, regardless.
In any dark time, there is a tendency to veer toward fainting over how much is
wrong or unmended in the world. Do not focus on that. There is a tendency, too, to
fall into being weakened by dwelling on what is outside your reach, by what cannot
yet be. Do not focus there. That is spending the wind without raising the sails.
We are needed, that is all we can know. And though we meet resistance, we more so
will meet great souls who will hail us, love us and guide us, and we will know them
when they appear. Didn't you say you were a believer? Didn't you say you pledged
to listen to a voice greater? Didn't you ask for grace? Don't you remember that to be
in grace means to submit to the voice greater?
Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to
mend the part of the world that is within our reach. Any small, calm thing that one
soul can do to help another soul, to assist some portion of this poor suffering world,
will help immensely. It is not given to us to know which acts or by whom, will cause
the critical mass to tip toward an enduring good.
What is needed for dramatic change is an accumulation of acts, adding, adding to,
adding more, continuing. We know that it does not take everyone on Earth to bring
justice and peace, but only a small, determined group who will not give up during
the first, second, or hundredth gale.
One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy
world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times.
The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes
proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like
these - to be fierce and to show mercy toward others; both are acts of immense
bravery and greatest necessity.
Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it.
If you would help to calm the tumult, this is one of the strongest things you can do.
There will always be times when you feel discouraged. I too have felt despair many
times in my life, but I do not keep a chair for it. I will not entertain it. It is not
allowed to eat from my plate.
The reason is this: In my uttermost bones I know something, as do you. It is that
there can be no despair when you remember why you came to Earth, who you serve,
and who sent you here. The good words we say and the good deeds we do are not
ours. They are the words and deeds of the One who brought us here. In that spirit, I
hope you will write this on your wall: When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it
is safe, there can be no doubt. But that is not what great ships are built for.
By Clarissa Pinkola Estes
American poet, post-trauma specialist and Jungian psychoanalyst, author
of Women Who Run With the Wolves.
Things I am freaking the
heck out about today:
(Scribble about whatever and wherever)
FUNNIES
Directions
You know the brick path in back of the house,
the one you see from the kitchen window,
the one that bends around the far end of the garden
where all the yellow primroses are?
And you know how if you leave the path
and walk up into the woods you come
to a heap of rocks, probably pushed
down during the horrors of the Ice Age,
and a grove of tall hemlocks, dark green now
against the light-brown fallen leaves?
And farther on, you know
the small footbridge with the broken railing
and if you go beyond that you arrive
at the bottom of that sheep’s head hill?
Well, if you start climbing, and you
might have to grab hold of a sapling
when the going gets steep,
you will eventually come to a long stone
ridge with a border of pine trees
which is as high as you can go
and a good enough place to stop.
The best time is late afternoon
when the sun strobes through
the columns of trees as you are hiking up,
and when you find an agreeable rock
to sit on, you will be able to see
the light pouring down into the woods
and breaking into the shapes and tones
of things and you will hear nothing
but a sprig of birdsong or the leafy
falling of a cone or nut through the trees,
and if this is your day you might even
spot a hare or feel the wing-beats of geese
driving overhead toward some destination.
But it is hard to speak of these things
how the voices of light enter the body
and begin to recite their stories
how the earth holds us painfully against
its breast made of humus and brambles
how we who will soon be gone regard
the entities that continue to return
greener than ever, spring water flowing
through a meadow and the shadows of clouds
passing over the hills and the ground
where we stand in the tremble of thought
taking the vast outside into ourselves.
Still, let me know before you set out.
Come knock on my door
and I will walk with you as far as the garden
with one hand on your shoulder.
I will even watch after you and not turn back
to the house until you disappear
into the crowd of maple and ash,
heading up toward the hill,
piercing the ground with your stick
- Billy Collins
There is champagne-
bubble effervescence
in life force
Haiku-na matata!
Writing is a wonderful form of self-care, but sometimes can seem daunting. One form of
poetry that can help provide a more manageable framework is the haiku. Haikus are a
traditional Japanese poetry form and are short and structured. Try a few!
Structure: Example:
st
1 line: five syllables I hate the triggers
2nd line: seven syllables Crouching round every corner
rd
3 line: five syllables Unexpected claws
3 things I’m totally dreading doing:
o _____________________________________________________________________________________________
o _____________________________________________________________________________________________
o _____________________________________________________________________________________________
Now choose one thing you can get done... I promise you can do it and it
will help you feel better! Afterwards, treat yo’self!
3 things I’m totally dreading doing:
o _____________________________________________________________________________________________
o _____________________________________________________________________________________________
o _____________________________________________________________________________________________
Now choose one thing you can get done... I promise you can do it and it
will help you feel better! Afterwards, treat yo’self!
3 things I’m totally dreading doing:
o _____________________________________________________________________________________________
o _____________________________________________________________________________________________
o _____________________________________________________________________________________________
Now choose one thing you can get done... I promise you can do it and it
will help you feel better! Afterwards, treat yo’self!
Directions:
on
each
petal
write
one
thing
you
love
or
are
grateful
for,
then
color
in.
I am having a conflict over how to handle a situation....
Here is a brief summary of the situation:
Here is what I feel:
Here is what I want to do:
Here is what I feel I should do:
Here is what I think I will do:
I’m
anxious
about
and
upcoming
event/interaction:
The
event
is:
The
worst
case
thing
to
happen
would
be:
The
best
case
thing
to
happen
would
be:
The
most
likely
thing
to
happen
is:
I’m
anxious
about
and
upcoming
event/interaction:
The
event
is:
The
worst
case
thing
to
happen
would
be:
The
best
case
thing
to
happen
would
be:
The
most
likely
thing
to
happen
is:
On
Trauma,
by
Claire
*Content
warning:
allusions
to
self
harm.
It’s
like
this
wound
was
infected
and
got
ripped
open
and
I
need
to
let
out
all
the
crap
and
try
to
clean
it
up
so
it
can
heal
a
little
more.
Trauma
is
like
that.
Rip.
Clean.
Heal.
Rip.
Clean.
Heal.
∞
But
the
hope
is
that
the
wound
heals
better
each
time...
or
at
least
over
time.
Some
days
we
just
have
to
slap
a
Band-‐Aid
on
that
shit
and
call
it
good.
Other
times
we’re
willing
to
prod
a
little
deeper,
picking
out
the
grit,
adding
stitches.
Sometimes
you
just
need
to
bleed.
That’s
okay.
It’s
what
wounds
do.
Let
it
seep
out,
cleansing
as
is
goes.
But
know
that
there
comes
a
point
where
you’ll
have
to
apply
some
pressure
and
bandage
it
back
up.
You
could
let
someone
help
you
with
this.
Your
hands
are
capable,
but
may
be
shaky,
and
it’s
good
to
call
upon
another
pair.
You
may
not
want
to
stop
the
blood.
It
feels
incredible
to
sink.
To
bleed.
To
rip
yourself
open.
But
we
need
blood
in
our
bodies,
winding
and
whispering,
rush,
rush,
rush,
keep
going,
I
love
you,
rush,
rush,
rush,
we’ve
got
this.
I
will
give
you
energy
for
the
adventure,
sustenance
for
the
long
haul,
nourishment
for
the
leaps
and
falls.
I
will
tend
to
the
aches
and
breaks
and
remind
your
heart
it
is
safe
as
long
as
I
can
fill
it.
I
can
cleanse
your
wounds
but
gravity
is
a
force
to
be
reckon
with
and
I
am
a
waterfall
diving
every
second
off
the
cliff
of
your
forearm
unless
you
help
me
find
my
way
back
home.
Love
me
and
I
will
love
you.
I
am
you.
We
are
always
a
home.
- Mary Oliver
Fill
in
each
section
with
self
care
acts
that
work
well
for
you
or
that
you’d
like
to
try.
