Proposal Final Draft 1.

pdf
by Savannah Berghorn

Submission date: 19-Feb-2019 09:27PM (UT C-0800)

Submission ID: 1080723191
File name: Proposal_Final_Draf t_1.pdf (82.9K)
Word count: 1454
Character count: 7780
 Good

What is your source?

Weak T ransit ion

 Good

Weak T ransit ion

Concluding Evidence
Weak T ransit ion
It alics
Proposal Final Draft 1.pdf
ORIGINALITY REPORT

27 %
SIMILARIT Y INDEX
22%
INT ERNET SOURCES
11%
PUBLICAT IONS
24%
ST UDENT PAPERS

PRIMARY SOURCES

1
Submitted to Pikeville College
St udent Paper 3%
2
Submitted to Polk State College
St udent Paper 3%
3
journal.frontiersin.org
Int ernet Source 3%
4
Submitted to Monmouth College
St udent Paper 3%
5
Submitted to South Suburban College
St udent Paper 2%
6
Submitted to Deerfield High School
St udent Paper 2%
7
Submitted to Macquarie University
St udent Paper 2%
8
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
Int ernet Source 2%
9
Submitted to DeVry University Onlline
St udent Paper 1%
10
Submitted to Anoka Ramsey Community
College
1%
St udent Paper

11
pepperdinelawreview.com
Int ernet Source 1%
12
www.acsmstore.org
Int ernet Source 1%
13
Submitted to Maryville College
St udent Paper 1%
14
www.tandfonline.com
Int ernet Source 1%
15
docs.house.gov
Int ernet Source 1%
16
brain.oxfordjournals.org
Int ernet Source 1%
17
Aaron M. Karlin. "Concussion in the Pediatric
and Adolescent Population: “Different
1%
Population, Different Concerns”", PM&R, 2011
Publicat ion

Exclude quotes Of f Exclude matches Of f

Exclude bibliography Of f
Proposal Final Draft 1.pdf
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

88
Savannah,

T his is, f or the most part, a very strong proposal.

You have clearly done your research, and you clearly
care about your topic. T here are, however, a f ew

/100
moments when you need to make sure that you take
the time to transition f rom paragraph to paragraph in
a way that allows us to see the connection between
ideas. Furthermore, try not to conclude paragraphs
with evidence. Af ter you include the evidence, you
want to explain the evidence and then explain why
the evidence is important in light of the claim you
have made. When you revise f or your f inal project,
you will want to do so with this in mind. I look
f orward to your next paper.

PAGE 1

Sentence Cap. Review the rules f or capitalization.

PAGE 2

QM Good | Unit y

Good

QM What is your source? | Dev/Sup

What is your source?

Additional Comment

T his is an excellent point, but can you corroborate it?

QM Weak Transition | Organizat ion

Weak paragraph transition:
Although paragraphs are separate, individual steps of your paper, it is important to clearly
demonstrate a logical connection between them. Generally speaking, the way your paragraphs
relate to one another displays how sound your argument really is. A paragraph that begins with
 "also" or "in addition" of f ers a weak transition f rom the previous point, even though it may
develop a highly interesting and related point.

PAGE 3

Article Error You may need to remove this article.

QM Good | Dev/Sup

Good

QM Weak Transition | Organizat ion

Weak paragraph transition:
Although paragraphs are separate, individual steps of your paper, it is important to clearly
demonstrate a logical connection between them. Generally speaking, the way your paragraphs
relate to one another displays how sound your argument really is. A paragraph that begins with
"also" or "in addition" of f ers a weak transition f rom the previous point, even though it may
develop a highly interesting and related point.

P/V You have used the passive voice in this sentence. You may want to revise it using the active
voice.

P/V You have used the passive voice in this sentence. You may want to revise it using the active
voice.

Article Error You may need to remove this article.

Compound T hese two words should be a compound word.

QM Concluding Evidence | Dev/Sup

Don't conclude with evidence. Make sure that you take the time to explain why this evidence IS
evidence. Furthermore, af ter you explain the evidence, make sure that you take the time to
connect this to your argument.

Prep. You may be using the wrong preposition.

PAGE 4

Hyph. Review the rules f or using punctuation marks.

Missing "," Review the rules f or using punctuation marks.

Missing "," Review the rules f or using punctuation marks.

 QM Weak Transition | Organizat ion
Weak paragraph transition:
Although paragraphs are separate, individual steps of your paper, it is important to clearly
demonstrate a logical connection between them. Generally speaking, the way your paragraphs
relate to one another displays how sound your argument really is. A paragraph that begins with
"also" or "in addition" of f ers a weak transition f rom the previous point, even though it may
develop a highly interesting and related point.

P/V You have used the passive voice in this sentence. You may want to revise it using the active
voice.

Article Error You may need to remove this article.

PAGE 5

Sp. T his word is misspelled. Use a dictionary or spellchecker when you proof read your work.

PAGE 6

QM Italics | Format

Italics
RUBRIC: WRITING ASSIGNMENT RUBRIC

UNIT Y Scale 6

SCALE 6 presents a cogent, thesis-driven analysis of or response to the text

SCALE 5 presents a thoughtf ul, thesis-centered analysis of or response to the text

SCALE 4 presents an appropriate, thesis-based analysis of or response to the text

SCALE 3 presents an inconsistent or illogical thesis-related analysis of or response to the text

which ref lects an incomplete understanding of the text or topic

SCALE 2 presents a simplistic, inappropriate, or incoherent thesis-tangential analysis of or

response to the text, one that may suggest some signif icant misunderstanding of the
text or the topic;

SCALE 1 presents an inadequate, thesis-irrelevant analysis of or response to the text,

ignoring the topic’s demands, unacceptable

DEV/SUP Scale 4

SCALE 6 elaborates that response with well-chosen examples and persuasive reasoning,
excellent

SCALE 5 elaborates that response with appropriate examples and logical reasoning

SCALE 4 elaborates that response with acceptable examples and sensible reasoning

SCALE 3 lacks elaboration with appropriate examples , lacking

SCALE 2 lacks elaboration with appropriate examples or elaborates with inappropriate

examples

SCALE 1 lacks any appropriate pattern of development; may be inappropriately brief ,

unacceptable

ORGANIZ AT ION Scale 4

SCALE 6 conf orms to an organizational pattern that f acilitates reader understanding, using
organizational patterns to demonstrate the relatedness of ideas and enhances the
power of the argument

SCALE 5 conf orms to an organizational pattern that f acilitates reader understanding, using
organizational patterns to convey the argument

SCALE 4 conf orms to an organizational pattern that f acilitates reader understanding, using
organizational patterns to illustrate the argument, f its

SCALE 3 deviates f rom an organizational pattern that f acilitates reader understanding, so that
organizational structures may detract f rom the argument
SCALE 2 lacks an organizational pattern which f acilitates reader understanding, lacking

SCALE 1 lacks any appropriate organizational pattern, unacceptable

ST YLE Scale 6

SCALE 6 displays a sophisticated style that ref lects aptly chosen words and rhetorically
ef f ective sentence variety

SCALE 5 displays a readable style that ref lects well-chosen words and ef f ective sentences

SCALE 4 displays a style that ref lects appropriate words and sentence variety

SCALE 3 displays a style that ref lects imprecise word choice and little sentence variety

SCALE 2 displays a style that ref lects at least one of the f ollowing: simplistic or inaccurate
word choice; monotonous or f ragmented sentence structure, inappropriate

SCALE 1 displays a style which creates a disconnect between sound and sense, one in which
language word choice and syntax obscure meaning, unacceptable

SWE CONV Scale 5

SCALE 6 exhibits mastery of the conventions of Standard Written English, masterf ul

SCALE 5 demonstrates competence in the conventions of Standard Written English,

competent

SCALE 4 observes conventions of Standard Written English, acceptable

SCALE 3 may deviate f rom the conventions of Standard Written English by displaying
occasional major errors in grammar and usage or f requent minor errors

SCALE 2 repeatedly deviates f rom the conventions of Standard Written English by displaying
many repeated errors in grammar and usage

SCALE 1 consistently deviates f rom the conventions of Standard Written English., displaying a
pervasive pattern of errors in word choice, sentence structure, grammar and usage,
unacceptable

FORMAT Scale 6

SCALE 6 exhibits mastery of the conventions of manuscript citation and f ormat. masterf ul

SCALE 5 demonstrates competence in the conventions of manuscript citation and f ormat.

competent

SCALE 4 observes conventions of manuscript citation and f ormat. acceptable

SCALE 3 may deviate f rom the conventions of manuscript citation manuscript citation and
f ormat.
SCALE 2 repeatedly deviates f rom the conventions of manuscript citation and f ormat.

SCALE 1 consistently deviates f rom the conventions of manuscript citation and f ormat.
unacceptable