Almost Famous Script
Almost Famous Script
UNTITLED
Cameron Crowe
December, 1998
UNTITLED
1 FADE IN
1
ELAINE
Excuse me, I'm a teacher. There is no
word in The English Language -- "Xmas."
It's either Merry Christmas... or Happy
Holidays.
TITLE: 1969
WILLIAM
- so Livia -
ELAINE
-- killed everyone off so her son
Tiberius could inherit the throne.
(thoughtful pause)
Just like Nixon.
William nods, intrigued. He has a good disposition.
The
world of knowledge engages him, and he loves what it
brings
out in his Mom. There is a small clatter at the front
door,
as the girl we've just seen enters, barely brushing some
chimes.
She silently curses herself.
ELAINE (cont'd)
Anita, is that you?
ANITA'S VOICE
Hey Mom! I already ate.
ELAINE
You sure? I'm making soy cutlets.
ANITA
I'm fine. Already ate.
ELAINE
Wait. You've been kissing.
ANITA
(too quickly)
No I haven't.
ELAINE
(peering at her lips)
Yes... yes, you have...
ANITA
No I haven't.
ELAINE
Yes you have. I can tell.
ANITA
(boldly)
You can't tell.
ELAINE
Not only can I tell, I know who it is.
It's Darryl.
ELAINE (cont'd)
And what have you got under your coat?
ANITA
(busted)
It's unfair that we can't listen to
our music!
ELAINE
(weary of the issue)
Honey, it's all about drugs and
promiscuous sex.
ANITA
Simon and Garfunkel is poetry!
ELAINE
Yes it's poetry. It's the poetry of
drugs and promiscuous sex. Look at
the picture on the cover...
ELAINE (cont'd)
... honey, they're on pot.
ANITA
First it was butter, then sugar and
white flour.
(beat)
Bacon. Eggs, bologna, rock and roll,
motorcycles.
ANITA (cont'd)
Then it was celebrating Christmas on a
day in September When you knew it
wouldn't be "commercialized."
ELAINE
That was an experiment. But I
understand -
ANITA
What else are you going to ban?
ELAINE
Honey, you want to rebel against
knowledge.
ELAINE (cont'd)
I'm trying to give you the Cliff's
Notes on how to live in this world.
ANITA
(simple and direct)
We're like nobody else I know.
ELAINE
I'm a teacher. Why can't I teach my
own kids?
(pats chest)
Use me.
ANITA
Darryl says you use knowledge to keep
me down. He says I'm a "yes" person
and you're trying to raise us in a
"no" environment!
ELAINE
(immediately, can't help
it)
Well, clearly, "no" is a word Darryl
doesn't hear much.
WILLIAM
Mom --
ELAINE
Everything I say is wrong.
ANITA
I can't live here! I hate you! Even
William hates you!
WILLIAM
I don't hate her.
ANITA
(to William)
You don't even know the truth!
ELAINE
Sweetheart, don't be a drama queen.
Anita takes a breath and then out of her mouth comes the
strangled-sounding words of a kid swearing at her parent
for
the first time.
ANITA
Feck you! All of you!
ELAINE
Hey!
ELAINE (cont'd)
Well, there it is. Your sister using
the "f" word.
WILLIAM
I think she said "feck."
ELAINE
(sputtering)
What's the difference?
WILLIAM
(encouraging)
Well. The letter "u"...
VOICE (O.S.)
Are you really in our grade?
VOICE
(louder)
Are you really in our grade?
WILLIAM
Yeah.
TOBIN
Hey guys! Check it out! William
doesn't have any pubes!
GUY # 1
How old are you man?
TOBIN
He's not a man, he's a little baby
kid. He Doesn't even get zits yet.
GUY # 2
How come you don't have any hair down
there?
TOBIN
(in loud, funny voice)
Where are your pubes???!!
GUY # 2
Yeah. Where are your pubes?
WILLIAM
(cool, dismissive)
I had 'em. I shaved 'em off.
ELAINE
(cheerfully, by rote, to
William in back)
Put on your seatbelt. I don't want
you flying through the windshield.
WILLIAM
We got our annuals today --
ELAINE
(cheerful, automatic)
"Received" your annual.
WILLIAM
(looking at his photo)
I look so much younger than everyone
else.
ELAINE
Enjoy it while you can.
ELAINE
(pleasant, pointed)
Can this wait until we get home?
ANITA
Mom, pull over. Tell him the truth.
Tell him how old he is.
ELAINE
(as in "be quiet")
He knows how old he is.
ANITA
The other kids make fun of him because
of How young he looks. Nobody includes
him.
WILLIAM
They do?
ELAINE
What's a "Narc?"
ANITA
(bleeding for her brother)
A Narcotics Officer!
ELAINE
Well what's wrong with that?
WILLIAM
(ever the peacemaker)
Come on you guys. It's no big deal.
I'm 12. It's okay. She skipped me a
grade, it's okay. Big deal. I'm a
year younger. They're 13, I'm 12 --
(beat)
Aren't I?
ELAINE
(confessing, in a rush)
I also put you in first grade when you
were five and never told you.
WILLIAM
(trembling)
So... I'm... how old?
ANITA
You lied to him! You make such a big
deal about the truth and you lied!
ELAINE
(that one hurts)
He never asked.
ANITA
What -- like he's going to ask if he's
as old as he thinks he is? Don't you
realize, this is going to scar him
forever?
ELAINE
Honey... sweetheart... don't be
Cleopatra. We have to be his mother
and his Dad.
ANITA
You put too much pressure on him!
WILLIAM
(apprehensive)
How... old...
ANITA
And when he rebels in some strange and
odd way, don't blame me.
WILLIAM
... am I?
ELAINE
(matter of fact)
I skipped you an extra grade. You're
eleven.
WILLIAM
(horrified, voice crackling)
ELEVEN?
ELAINE
So you skipped fifth grade. There's
too much padding In the grades. I
taught elementary school. 5th grade -
unnecessary. Nothing happens in the
5th grade. All Teachers know it, no
one talks about it.
WILLIAM
(still in shock)
E - leven.
ELAINE
And you skipped kindergarten because I
taught it to you when you were four.
WILLIAM
(still horrified, looking
at his body)
This explains... so much...
ANITA
You've robbed him of an adolescence!
ELAINE
Adolescence is a marketing tool.
ANITA
He's got no "crowd"... no friends...
WILLIAM
Okay!
ANITA
Honey, I know you were expecting
puberty. You're just going to have to
shine it on for a while.
ELAINE
Who needs a "crowd?" You're unique. You're
two years ahead of everybody. Take those
extra years and do what you want. Go to
Europe for a year! Take a look around,
see what you like! Follow your dream!
You'll still be the youngest lawyer in the
country. Your own great grandfather
practiced law until he was 93. Your dad
was so proud of you. He knew you were a
pronominally accelerated child.
ANITA
What about me?
ELAINE
(heartbroken, can't help
herself)
You're rebellious and ungrateful of my
love.
ANITA
Well, somebody's gotta be normal around
here!
WILLIAM
(blinking, still can't
believe it)
Eleven.
ANITA
I want to play you a song that explains
why I'm leaving, and try to listen.
ELAINE
We can't talk? We have to listen to
rock music?
WILLIAM
Take good care of her in San Francisco,
man.
ELAINE
How can she leave such a loving family?
ANITA
One day you'll be cool.
ANITA (cont'd)
Look under your bed. It'll set you
free.
ELAINE
She'll be back.
ANITA
YEAHHHHH-HOOOOOOOO.
ELAINE
Maybe not soon...
William watches wistfully. He moves away from his
mother.
She pulls him closer. Shot moves in on his slightly
fearful
face.
ANITA (V.O.)
"Listen to Tommy with a candle burning
and you will see your entire future..."
TITLE: 1973
HIGH-SCHOOL MARQUEE
DISC-JOCKEY
Quite an honor to have the World's
Greatest Rock Critic... and editor of
Creem Magazine, back Home in San Diego
for a few days -- Lester Bangs.
LESTER BANGS
What is this hippie station?! Where's
Iggy Pop? Don't you have a copy of
Raw Power?!
DISC-JOCKEY
Lester, isn't it a little early for
this?
BANGS
Found it!!
BANGS
So you're the one who's been sending
me those articles from your school
newspaper -
WILLIAM
I've been doing some stuff for a local
underground paper, too.
BANGS
What are you like the star of your
school?
WILLIAM
They hate me.
BANGS
You'll meet them all again on their
long journey to the middle.
BANGS (cont'd)
Well, your writing is damn good. It's
just a shame you missed out on rock
and roll.
WILLIAM
I did?
BANGS
Oh yeah. It's over.
WILLIAM
Over?
BANGS
Over. You got here just in time for
the death rattle, the last gasp, the
last grope.
WILLIAM
Well. At least I'm here for that.
BANGS
What do you type on?
WILLIAM
Smith-Corona Galaxis Deluxe.
BANGS
You like the new Lou Reed?
WILLIAM
(automatic)
The early stuff. The new stuff, he's
trying to be Bowie, he should be
himself. I'm not a big Lou man.
BANGS
Yeah, but if Bowie's doing Lou, and
Lou's Doing Bowie, Lou's still doing
Lou.
WILLIAM
(standing his ground)
If you like Lou.
BANGS
Take drugs?
WILLIAM
No.
BANGS
Smart kid. I used to do speed and
sometimes Nyquil and stay up all night
writing and writing, like 25 pages of
dribble about, you know, the Guess
Who, or Coltrane, just to write, you
know, with the music blasting...
WILLIAM
Me too. The writing part...
BANGS
Well, alright. It's been nice to meet
you. I'll see you around. Keep sending
me your stuff.
WILLIAM
Okay. See you.
BANGS
I can't stand here all day talking to
my many fans.
BANGS
-- so anyway, you're from San Diego
and that's good. Because once you go
to L.A., you're gonna have friends
like crazy but they'll be fake friends,
they're gonna try to corrupt you. The
publicists! The bands! You got an
honest face, they're gonna tell you
everything. But you CANNOT make friends
with the rock stars.
BANGS (cont'd)
Cannot make friends with the rock stars.
(savage bite)
That's what's important. If you're a rock
journalist, a true journalist -- first you
will never get paid much. But you will
get free records from the record company.
BANGS (cont'd)
And they'll buy you drinks, you'll meet
girls... they'll try to fly you places for
free.... offer you drugs... I know. It
sounds great. But they are not your
friends. These are people who want you
to write sanctimonious stories about the
genius of the rock stars and they will
ruin rock and roll and strangle everything
we love about it.
BANGS (cont'd)
They are trying to buy respectability
for a form that is gloriously and
righteously -
BANGS (cont'd)
- dumb! And you're smart enough to
know that. And the day it ceases to
be dumb is the day it ceases to be
real. Right? And then it will just
Become an Industry of Cool.
WILLIAM
... Industry... of... cool...
BANGS
And that's what they want! And it's
happening right now. I'm telling you,
you're coming along at a very dangerous
time for rock and roll. The war is
over. They won. 99% of what passes
for rock now... SILENCE is much more
compelling. It's over. I think you
should turn around and go back and
be... a lawyer or something... but I
can see from your face that you won't.
I can pay you thirty-five bucks. Gimme
a thousand words on Black Sabbath.
WILLIAM
(attempting cool)
An assignment.
LESTER
Yeah. And you should build your
reputation on being honest... and
unmerciful.
WILLIAM
(writing in notebook)
Honest... unmerciful...
BANGS
And if you get into a jam -- call me.
I stay up late.
ELAINE
Look at this. An entire generation of
Cinderellas and there's no slipper
coming.
WILLIAM
You can drop me off here.
ELAINE
Black. Sabbath. Just remember - you
wanted to be Atticus Finch in To Kill
a Mockingbird.
ELAINE (cont'd)
As long as I know this is just a hobby,
I'll go along with it.
WILLIAM
All I have to do is listen. That's
what Lester Bangs said.
ELAINE
(dryly)
I'll be waiting right here at eleven
'o clock sharp. If you get lost, use
the family whistle.
ELAINE (cont'd)
(sweetly, too loud)
Don't take drugs!!
WILLIAM
Hi. I'm William Miller and I'm here
from Creem Magazine to interview the
band Black Sabbath.
SCOTTY
Not on the list.
WILLIAM
Sir, I'm a journalist, and here's a
copy of the magazine.
SCOTTY
You're not on the list. Go to the
top of the ramp with the girls!
WILLIAM
(in a rush)
What-happens-after-I-go-to-the-top-of-
the-ramp with-the-gi -
Slam. Lock.
WILLIAM
(embarrassed to be alive)
Me? I'm with myself.
ESTRELLA
No, who are you with? What band?
WILLIAM
I'm here to interview Black Sabbath.
(beat)
I'm a journalist. I'm not a... you
know...
PENNY LANE
... you're not a what?
WILLIAM
(enthralled)
Oh... I'm just... not a... you know.
PENNY LANE
Not a "what"?
WILLIAM
(charmed)
You know. A "groupie."
ESTRELLA
Ohhh!
WILLIAM
Sorry, I -
PENNY LANE
We. Are not. "Groupies."
ESTRELLA
This is Penny Lane, man. Show some
respect.
WILLIAM
-- sorry.
PENNY LANE
"Groupies" sleep with rock stars because
they want to be near someone famous.
We are here because of the music. We
are Band Aids.
ESTRELLA
She used to run a school for Band Aids.
PENNY LANE
We don't have intercourse with these
guys. We support the music. We inspire
the music. We are here because of the
music.
ESTRELLA
Marc Bolan broke her heart, man. It's
famous.
PENNY LANE
It's a long story. I'm retired now.
I'm just visiting friends.
ESTRELLA
She was the one who changed everything.
She said "no more sex, no more
exploiting our bodies and hearts... "
WILLIAM
Right. Right.
ESTRELLA
"... just blow-jobs, and that's it."
WILLIAM
Okay. Well, see, now I get the
difference.
Shot drifts off him and picks up, out of the darkness,
another
breathless girl teetering on tall shoes. She is in the
vicinity
of 16. Her black hair is cropped short and died red,
just
like the cover of Bowie's Aladdin Sane. She is POLEXIA,
the
voluptuous one, from Riverside.
POLEXIA
(the usual greeting)
It's all happening. It's all happening.
ESTRELLA
Polexia!! Did you tell Sabbath we
were going to be here?
POLEXIA
I talked to Dick with Stillwater, I
talked with Sabbath. They're all dying
to see us. It's all happening.
PENNY LANE
This is our journalist friend.
Journalist Friend, meet Estrella Starr,
and Polexia Aphrodisia. And you are --
WILLIAM
William.
POLEXIA
Here comes Sabbath!
ESTRELLA
Ozzy!!! Tony!!! It's us!!
ESTRELLA (cont'd)
I think I saw Sapphire in there.
POLEXIA
(can't hold it in any longer)
Okay. I was with Ian Hunter all night
at Rodney's Last night. Wanna see his
spoo? I saved it in a baggie.
PENNY
(regarding what's in purse)
Yeah. I know he's such a talented
guy. I mean, look at him. Who deserves
it more?
POLEXIA
(looking in purse)
Nobody -- he's so sweet.
ESTRELLA
(with compassion)
Don't you just root for him, you know.
To go that little distance between
good and great?
PENNY
Wait. That's not his. I would know
his.
SAPPHIRE
Does anybody remember laugh-tah?
(as they turn)
Come and GET 'EM!
SAPPHIRE
(off William)
Who brought Opie?
PENNY
He's with us.
SCOTTY
(hand blocking William)
He wasn't with you.
SAPPHIRE
(to Scotty)
Are you going to turn this into a
Thing?
SCOTTY
All of you can wait outside! Top of
the ramp!
WILLIAM
I don't want to cause a Thing. I'll
wait.
PENNY
(privately, to William)
I'll go take care of this.
DICK
Let us in, we're Stillwater! We're on
the show!!
WILLIAM
(to Dick)
Hi, I'm a journalist. I write for Creem
Magazine.
JEFF
The enemy! A rock writer!
WILLIAM
(struggling forward)
I'd like to interview you or someone
from the band.
DICK
(busy, running behind)
I'm sorry but could you please fuck
off?
WILLIAM
Okay. Okay. I could do that.
JEFF
You guys never listened to our records.
You're all just frustrated musicians.
Do you know what your magazine SAID
about us? What was it - "the singer's
incessant cater walling distracts From
an assault with no clear purpose."
LARRY
(in background)
That was Rolling Stone.
RUSSELL
Yeah. Okay. Fuck off anyway. We
play for fans, not critics.
WILLIAM
Russell. Jeff. Ed. Larry.
(can't help it)
I really love your band. I think the
song "Fever Dog" is a big step forward
for you guys. I think you guys
producing it yourselves, instead of
Glyn Johns, was the right thing to do.
And the guitar sound was incendiary.
(gestures with fist)
Way to go.
RUSSELL
(good humored, yelling)
Well don't stop there.
JEFF
Yeah, come back here!! Keep going!
They wave him back, as the backstage door opens again.
The
kid moves back down the ramp. They herd him in with
them,
through the door. Scotty quickly spots the kid and
squares
off.
SCOTTY
Not this one.
RUSSELL
He's with us.
SCOTTY
He's not with you. He's not with them.
He's not on the list. He's not coming
in. And this is my arena. And
furthermore -
SCOTTY (cont'd)
- have a good time tonight. Welcome
to San Diego.
RUSSELL
Red Dog!
RED DOG
We're playing here tomorrow night.
JEFF
(aside, to the kid)
This is Red Dog, the Allman Brothers
Band's number one roadie.
RUSSELL
How're the guys?
RED DOG
Havin a ball, man. When we have a
party, we have an Allman Brothers Band
party. Everybody boogies. Everybody
gets off. It's family, man. We all got
These now.
(flashes new mushroom tattoo
on forearm)
We'll see you guys in Boston, right?
(specifically to Russell)
Dicky and Gregg send you their love.
RUSSELL
... and it's okay, because rock and
roll is a LIFESTYLE... and a way of
thinking and it's not about money and
"popularity!"
JEFF
Some money would be nice.
Jeff sprays some shaving cream into his palm, and rubs
it into
his scalp - poor man's mousse.
RUSSELL
- but it's a voice that says here I
am... and FUCK YOU if you can't
understand me.
RUSSELL (cont'd)
And one of those people is gonna save the
world and that means that ROCK AND ROLL
CAN SAVE THE WORLD -- all of us together.
JEFF
And the chicks are great.
RUSSELL
But we didn't do it for that! We are
here because we needed to fuckin be
here, not just 'cause we needed to
away from Troy, Michigan, WHICH WE
DID... but what it all comes down to
is that thing. The Indefinable Thing,
when people catch something from your
music, the thing you put into it. I'm
talking about... what am I talking
about?
WILLIAM
(elegantly)
The buzz?
RUSSELL
THE BUZZ! And the chicks, the
whatever, is an off-shoot of THE BUZZ.
And like -- you saying you liked "Fever
Dog?" That is the fucking buzz, man.
All we get are these fucking old-ass
interviewers who don't understand,
don't LISTEN, don't appreciate why we
are here, which is the fuckin' BUZZ.
JEFF
The next album will be even better.
More texture.
RUSSELL
But... it's not what you put in, is
it? It's what you leave out. Listen
to... listen to Marvin Gaye...
Russell's face grows rapturous as he discusses this
piece of
music.
RUSSELL (cont'd)
A song like "What's Going On." That
single "woo" at the end of the second
verse - you know that woo - that single
"woo."
WILLIAM
(proudly)
I know that, "woo."
RUSSELL
(he does it)
That's what you remember. The silly
things, the little things... there's
only one, and it makes the song. It's
what you leave out. That's rock and
roll.
JEFF
(impressed)
We used to talk more about this stuff.
RUSSELL
Okay. See, this is maybe the most
honest we've ever been in an interview
because you know our music. You're
the first press guy we've made friends
with. We don't normally talk like
this to them. And you're supposed to
be The Enemy! What are you - 18?
WILLIAM
Yeah.
RUSSELL
There you go. Still young enough to
be honest.
DICK
(walkie talkie crackling)
Ten minutes 'till showtime, anyone who
isn't in the band -- out!
PENNY LANE
I found you a pass.
WILLIAM
(amped, distracted)
Thanks. I got in with Stillwater.
(as he writes)
The guitarist, Russel Hammond, he
just thoroughly opened up. He is by
far the best and most honest interview
I've ever done.
(she nods)
I've only done two, but you know.
He's number one.
PENNY LANE
You're learning. They're much more
fun on the way up.
WILLIAM
Eighteen.
PENNY LANE
Me too.
(beat)
How old are we really?
WILLIAM
Seventeen.
PENNY LANE
Me too.
WILLIAM
Actually I'm 16.
PENNY LANE
Me too. Isn't it funny? The truth
just sounds Different.
WILLIAM
(confesses)
I'm 15.
PENNY LANE
You want to know how old I really am?
WILLIAM
(immediately)
No.
WILLIAM (cont'd)
How did you get started in all this?
PENNY LANE
It's a long story.
WILLIAM
(quick study)
Right. Right.
PENNY LANE
We live in the same city. We should
be friends.
She takes his backstage pass form his shirt and puts it
on his
thigh - the cooler location. Nearby, the dressing room
door
opens, and the Stillwater exits. Excitement level
rises as
they mass in the hallway with instruments. We hear the
amped
voice of Russell growing nearer.
RUSSELL
The Enemy!
WILLIAM
Russell, this is Penny Lane.
PENNY LANE
(stepping into view)
Pleasure.
RUSSELL
Penny Lane? Like the song, right?
PENNY LANE
Have we met?
THEY SHAKE
WILLIAM
Well, I guess you've... you've met.
DICK
Penny Lane! God's gift to rock and
roll!! You're back!
(privately)
Marc Bolan. Please.
RUSSELL
Come on, let's go.
(noting kid's shyness)
Both of you.
30 INT. BACKSTAGE -- NIGHT
30
RUSSELL
- get in the huddle.
DICK
From Troy, Michigan. Please welcome --
(importantly)
Stillwater.
Light hits the stage, and the band launches into their
opening
song, "If You Say Nothing." Audience response is
strong.
Shot lingers on the face of William as he soaks in the
most
undeniably exciting moment of any concert, the first
thirty
seconds.
RUSSELL
(privately)
So. You want to come up to L.A., we'll
be at the "Riot House" all week.
WILLIAM
"The Riot House?"
RUSSELL
The Continental Hyatt House! It's on
Sunset Strip.
WILLIAM
(attempting cool)
Right. Right.
DICK
Let's blow this burg!
RUSSELL
(exiting)
Well tell your friend Miss Penny Lane
to Call Me. Tell her "It ain't
California without her. We want her
around like last summer." Say it
like that.
WILLIAM
Got it.
RUSSELL
(returns, whispers)
Oh, I'm under the name - Harry Houdini.
JEFF
(exiting, to William)
The Enemy!! Yeah!! Come to L.A.,
we'll take some more.
WILLIAM
Later Jeff! See you, Dick. Larry.
Ed.
(and now the roadies)
Mick, Gregg, Red Dog, Scully, Frosty,
Estrella, The Wheel!
ROADIES DICK
Laterrrr! We'll see you down the
line.
WILLIAM
PENNY!
PENNY
(calming him)
Hey. Hey. Be cool.
WILLIAM
You just missed Russell! He says he's
at the "Riot House" all week and to call
him. He's under the name Harry Houdini.
Do you know about the "Riot House?"
PENNY LANE
I think I've heard of it.
WILLIAM
He had a message for you! He said,
"It's not California without you. We
want you around like last summer."
(consults notebook)
Actually he said "ain't." "It ain't
California - "
PENNY LANE
I get the gist.
WILLIAM
How well do you guys know each other?
WILLIAM (cont'd)
I got it. No problem. Long story.
Alright! I gotta go.
PENNY LANE
Call me if you need a rescue. We live
in the same city.
WILLIAM
I think I live in a different world.
PENNY
Speaking of the world. I've made a
decision.
(a very serious secret)
I'm going to live in Morocco for one
year. I need a new crowd.
PENNY (cont'd)
Do you want to come?
WILLIAM
Yes.
PENNY
It's a plan. You've got to call me.
WILLIAM
Okay.
PENNY
It's all happening.
WILLIAM
It's all happening.
FADE
OUT:
FADE IN:
33 ON TAPE RECORDER
33
WILLIAM
Hey Darryl.
DARRYL
Hey.
Darryl climbs in the window, looks around the room that
was
once the site of his previous glory.
DARRYL (cont'd)
So she's a stewardess now.
WILLIAM
Yeah. She and Mom are still sorta...
I'd say "not speaking," but I don't
know if they ever did.
DARRYL
Your sister. A stewardess.
(nods to himself)
The things your sister and I did inside
these four walls...
WILLIAM
That's okay. I don't want to know.
It's my room now.
DARRYL
We flew the friendly skies -
WILLIAM
Okay -
DARRYL
I don't want to put you in the middle
of anything. We don't have to talk
about it.
WILLIAM
No.
DARRYL
You seem cooler.
WILLIAM
Yeah. I'm thinking about going to
Morocco.
DARRYL
Lemme know if you need a little help
with your Mom.
WILLIAM
A little might not be enough.
DARRYL
She still freaks me out.
WILLIAM
(nods, an old issue)
Yeah -
DARRYL
She's famous.
WILLIAM
Listen -
DARRYL
Go ahead and do what you were doing.
I just wanna hang in here for a moment.
WILLIAM
Cool. Alright.
DARRYL
Okay, man.
WILLIAM
Okay, man.
ELAINE
I worry about the drunk drivers.
WILLIAM
Mom. I'm 15.
(beat, vague panic)
Right?
ELAINE
Yes, you're 15. "And here's that money
I owed you."
ELAINE (cont'd)
Your dad's favorite joke. I don't do
it as well.
WILLIAM
I thought it was pretty good.
ELAINE
Keep the small bills on the outside.
And call me if anyone gets drunk.
WILLIAM
I will call you if anyone
anywhere gets drunk.
ELAINE
Good.
WILLIAM
(anticipating her, like a
parent)
And don't take drugs.
ELAINE
(stoic)
Ha ha. Very funny. See -- sense of
humor. Have fun at the dance. I'm
glad you're making friends.
WILLIAM
Mom?
ELAINE
Yeah -
WILLIAM
(loving but firm, as if to
a dog.)
Stay.
ELAINE
Oh... okay.
WILLIAM
I-love-you-bye.
Miss Penny Lane's yellow Vega makes the big swing onto
Sunset
Boulevard. She sings along to the obscure words of Led
Zeppelin's "Dancing Days." William takes it all in from
the
passenger seat. Huge billboards advertise not
cigarettes or
beer, but albums. It's a wondrous piece of geography
for any
rock fan. Shot moves in as William, watches, takes it
all in.
He moves his head outside the window to see fully. Her
windshield is cracked along the side.
PENNY LANE
The Continental Hyatt House. Also known
as The Riot House.
(does tour guide voice)
Every band stays here, all the ones
that matter. The Who. Zeppelin.
Alice. Bowie. English bands. American
bands. We all know each other. Twenty-
four hour room service. Like us, they
were outsiders. They were so outside,
they're inside, and insiders never
even knew it, because they're outsiders
and they are inside a place outsiders
will never be. And why are we even
talking about it? If you're really an
insider, you're never gonna say it.
You know what I mean?
WILLIAM
(beat, working it out)
Yeah. Yes.
WILLIAM
What is it with you and Russell?
PENNY LANE
It's all happening.
(grabbing him like a shield)
And I'm about to use you as protection.
ROADIE # 1
Penny Lane!!
PENNY LANE
(aside)
These guys are with Alice Cooper. I'm
going to pretend I don't know them.
ENGLISH ROADIE # 2
Penny!! Does Alice know you're here?
PENNY LANE
I'm just showing my very dear, very
wonderful friend around. He's a very
important writer - he knows Lester
Bangs.
(English accent)
I'm responsible for his moral conduct
while he's abroad.
ROADIE # 3
(arriving, mock drama)
Penny Lane!! God's gift to rock and
roll!!
PENNY LANE
I'm retired.
(uses English accent)
And don't argue with me!
ROADIE # 3
Again?
PENNY LANE
(moving, English accent)
Have we met?
ROADIE # 2
(exiting, not buying it)
There's nothing they could teach you
in college, darling.
(whispers)
Call Alice. He's under the name Bob
Hope.
ROADIE # 1
I heard you were with Russell from
Stillwater.
PENNY
Please. I throw the little ones back.
POLEXIA
(in tears, in pieces,
emotional)
Ian Hunter is a fucking asshole!
WILLIAM
Polexia!
POLEXIA
Opie!!!
RIC
It's all happening. I just saw them
on the seventh floor! Mr. Jimmy Page...
Mr. John Paul Jones...
(displays squiggle on shirt)
Mr. Robert Plant signed my shirt in
the elevator!! Five minutes ago, he
touched this pen. Please don't smear
it. And Bonzo's gotta new motorcycle
in the hotel!
PENNY
Ric is a Zeppelin fan.
WILLIAM
Yeah, I picked that up.
PENNY
He tours with them, but not "with"
them.
RIC
They're on the 12th floor, but there's
guards there! So you gotta go to the
tenth floor and go up the back steps.
PENNY LANE
This is my very dear, very close, very
wonderful friend William Miller, he is
very close with Lester Bangs.
RIC
It's all happening!! See you in
Cleveland!
PENNY LANE
I'm retired! Doesn't anybody believe
me!?
WILLIAM
Harry Houdini, please.
PENNY LANE
Okay. Time to put on the lampshade.
RUSSELL/OTHERS
PENNY!! PENNY LANE!!
RUSSELL
(impressed to see him)
Alright.
WILLIAM
(happy to be there)
Alright.
PENNY LANE
(continuing)
"In the unlikely event of a water
landing, the seat below you will serve
as a -"
(give up)
Oh, the hell with it.
POLEXIA (cont'd)
Act Two, in which he pretends he doesn't
care... and goes right for her.
POLEXIA (cont'd)
Act Three, in which it all plays out
the way she planned it. She'll eat
him alive.
WILLIAM
(worried)
We've got to stop them.
POLEXIA
Stop them? You were her excuse for
coming here.
ON PENNY
PENNY
I need ice!
POLEXIA
I just worry about people using her.
You know? 'Cause she brings out the
good side in everybody else, but what
do they do for her? Life kills me.
Do you have any pot?
WILLIAM
Not on me.
POLEXIA
Do you smoke?
WILLIAM
No.
(attempting to fit in)
But I... I grow it. I grow it.
POLEXIA
You're funny. You know, if you were
only taller, English, rich, a guitar-
player and older...
WILLIAM
I'd be someone else.
POLEXIA
Yeah. Good point.
POLEXIA (cont'd)
Bless me father for I may sin tonight.
PENNY
(with real indignation)
How does it end?
RUSSELL
What?
PENNY
You know - the story about the girl
who dumps the guy who has an ex-ex
wife -- the one we don't talk about --
and gets a hundred... okay, five letters
from him, and then doesn't even leave
a pass in San Diego. Wake up! I'm
retired and I never believed you anyway.
You're too talented and too good-looking
to be trusted and everybody knows it.
RUSSELL
(smiling, loves it)
You're retired like Frank Sinatra is
retired.
RUSSELL (cont'd)
Miss Penny Lane. Let me tell you what
rock and Roll will miss the day you
truly retire.
RUSSELL (cont'd)
The way you turn a hotel room into a
home.
(cube)
The way you pick up strays wherever
you go. Like Pied Piper.
(cube)
The way you know the words to every
song. Every song. Especially the bad
ones. Mostly the bad ones.
(cube)
That green coat in the middle of summer.
(cube)
The real name you won't reveal.
(cube)
And. I'd keep going, but my glass if
full.
PENNY
(quietly)
Damn.
RUSSELL
Come to Arizona.
PENNY
Never.
RUSSELL
We leave Thursday morning. 9 AM. And
pack light this time. Jesus.
BEN FONG-TORRES
William Miller?
INTER
CUT:
INT. WILLIAM'S BEDROOM -- DAY
WILLIAM
This is he.
BEN
Crazy. William, this is Ben Fong-
Torres. I'm the music editor at Rolling
Stone Magazine. We've got a copy of
your stories from the San Diego Door.
This is the same William Miller?
WILLIAM
Yes it is.
BEN
(rifling through tearsheets)
Voice of God, howling dogs, the spirit
of rock And roll... this is good solid
stuff.
WILLIAM
(immediately, suddenly
deeper)
Thanks... thanks.
BEN
You should be writing for us. Any
ideas?
WILLIAM
(voice now to deep)
How about Stillwater?
BEN
Crazy. New album... their third...
starting to do something.
BEN (cont'd)
(pleasant, terse)
Stillwater. Hard-working band makes
good. Get 'em to respond to the critics
who dismissed the first two albums as
workmanlike. Guitarist is the clear star
of the band. Crazy. Let's do three-
thousand words. You'll catch up to them
on the road. We'll set up billing --
don't let the band pay for anything.
WILLIAM
(affecting casualness)
Sounds good.
BEN
We can only pay -- lemme see, three-
thousand words -- seven hundred dollars.
BEN (cont'd)
Alright, a grand. What's your
background? You a journalism major?
WILLIAM
(deeply)
Yes.
BEN
What college --
ELAINE
Honey, I need you to do that thing
that fixes the garbage disposal --
BEN
Well, I know how my lady gets when I
don't Snap to it -
WILLIAM
Crazy.
BEN
Crazy! I'll let you go. Call me at
the San Francisco office tomorrow.
LESTER BANGS
Beware Rolling Stone Magazine. They
will change your story, they'll re-
write it and turn it into swill.
Beware!!
WILLIAM
But besides that, what would be wrong
with it?
LESTER BANGS
(laughs, entertained)
You have starry eyes, my friend.
(beat)
Look. Do the story. It's a good break
for ya. But remember this --
WILLIAM
(still copying)
... swill merchants...
LESTER BANGS
Now. What are you listening to?
WILLIAM
(urgently)
I need to talk to Mrs. Deegan, from
Journalism.
Mrs. Deegan appears in the doorway.
ELAINE
Whatever it is, the answer is no.
MRS. DEEGAN
Elaine, we need to talk to you.
Nothing is wrong. I am a teacher.
You're a teacher. We speak the same
language.
ELAINE
(warily, to Darryl)
Honey, what are you doing here?
DARRYL
Moral support.
ELAINE
What's involved?
MRS. DEEGAN
Well. It's a great opportunity. He'll
be well-paid, and published nationally --
(quickly)
-- and he'll go on tour with a rock
band for four days. No small planes...
he travels on a bus.
ELAINE
Is it time for me to say something?
MRS. DEEGAN
Sure.
ELAINE
No.
MRS. DEEGAN
And in anticipation of that response -
ELAINE
No.
MRS. DEEGAN
-- William has prepared --
ELAINE
(rueful)
"Lo, that which I have feared has come
upon me."
WILLIAM
(lightening fast)
"He who jealously guards his fears,
quietly yearns to bring them about!"
ELAINE
(with compassion)
No. I have raised him to be an honor
student, which he is. We have agreed
on all our goals. We raised him to be
a lawyer, we moved here to be near the
finest law school in the West. Plus,
he has finals coming up, and in one
week he graduates with all his friends
-
DARRYL
He's got no friends!!
WILLIAM
Darryl. Please.
MRS. DEEGAN
Elaine, may I present to you... your
own son.
WILLIAM
Lady of the Jury.
(beat)
I wish to disprove the prevailing false
belief that rock music is based on drugs
and sex. True, perhaps at one time...
but rock music is different now. It is
now performed by hard-working
intellectuals, with... with blazing
intellectual pursuits, and I am going to
play for you a piece of music designed
to show you that my thesis is correct.
ELAINE
This is going to be hell.
WILLIAM
The song is based on the literature of
Tolkien... and it's mystical attempt
to elevate humanity has been successful
throughout the world... this song
will change your life.
WILLIAM (cont'd)
We ask you only to listen.
ELAINE WILLIAM
When is it going to start - Soon.
DISSOLVE
TO:
DISSOLVE
TO:
ELAINE
What am I supposed to say? You say
it's Tolkien, fine. They sound like
nice kids. Is it meant to elevate
humanity? "Sure, let's elevate
humanity. After we sell you drugs and
sex." All I have is my honesty. That's
what I believe, and that's what I know.
(flipping through magazine)
Oh. Here's a nice ad.
ELAINE (cont'd)
You've clearly ganged up on me, and I
still say no. No no no no no no no.
She shuts her eyes, and blurts out something against her
better
judgement.
ELAINE (cont'd)
NO MORE THAN FOUR DAYS AND I WANT A
PHONE NUMBER FOR WHERE YOU ARE EVERY
MINUTE AND I WANT YOU TO CALL ME TWICE
A DAY AND YOU'D BETTER NOT MISS ONE
TEST - AND NO DRUGS.
DICK
C'mon, Doris! Darling Bus. You can
make it!
POLEXIA
Do you have any pot?
WILLIAM
No. I'm a journalist.
POLEXIA
Well, go do your job then. You're on
the road, man. It's all happening! Get
in there. Go talk to 'em!
WILLIAM
(very professional)
Russell. Do you think we might be
able to find some time to talk when we
get to Phoenix? I want to interview
everyone separately... and I felt we'd
start with you and me.
RUSSELL
Absolutely.
WILLIAM
Because I've got a thing in a couple
days.
RUSSELL
What.
WILLIAM
(self-conscious)
It's a... thing where... uhm... you go
there to graduate. School.
RUSSELL
(sharply)
I never graduated. And look what
happened. You're here interviewing me.
RUSSELL (cont'd)
No no no. Don't put that in Rolling
Stone. My bio says I graduated. We'll
come up with something better later.
Just enjoy the ride.
LARRY
How did you know I was thirsty?
PENNY
I may need to stay in your room tonight.
Russell's in a bad mood. He's very
Bob Dylan in Don't Look Back today.
He's trying to write.
WILLIAM
No thanks.
ELAINE
Has William Miller arrived yet? He
hasn't. Could you give him a message
as soon as you see him? -
ZEPPELIN/ALL
"Way down inside... (woman)
woman... you need... "
ZEPPELIN/ALL (cont'd)
"Loooooooooooooooooooooooovvve... "
DICK
Jeff, Tony... Keys... keys... keys...
room list...
(re: luggage, to hotel
bellman)
If it doesn't have a number on it, it
ain't ours!
DICK (cont'd)
The Enemy! Here you go, here's the key to
your palatial suite, room list, plus let me
give you a luggage tag. You're Number 42.
CLERK
Is this Mr. Miller? You have a message
from Elaine.
WILLIAM
Thanks.
CLERK
(confidentially)
She's a handful.
WILLIAM
I know.
SAPPHIRE
Finally, you're here!! They kicked me
out of my room! Fuck Ozzy!
ON RUSSELL
RUSSELL
Come by in a few minutes. We'll do
the interview.
JEFF
I'm worried, man.
RUSSELL
Naw, we can trust him. He's a fan.
JEFF
But it's Rolling Stone. He looks
harmless, but he does represent the
magazine that trashed Eric Clapton,
broke up Cream, ripped Led Zeppelin,
and wrote that lame story about the
Allman Brothers Band that bummed Duane
out before he died. Don't forget the
Rules. This little shit is the Enemy.
He writes what he sees.
(beat)
But it would be cool to be on the cover.
RUSSELL
Leave it to me. We'll get a good story.
JEFF
Plus our girlfriends read this magazine
and -
(looking at Band-aids)
-- you know.
RUSSELL
You made your point. I'll take to
him.
ON WILLIAM BY ELEVATOR
PENNY
Can Sapphire stay in your room tonight?
She had a big fight with Ozzy, and
Polexia's not working out with Jeff
Bebe.
(to Sapphire and Polexia)
You just have to remember... these
guys are jealous, insecure, talented,
egocentric, and manipulative geniuses...
they're lead-singers. They can say
"I love you" to 20,000 people... but
any fewer is a real problem.
(girls nod, comforted, she
continues to the kid)
Jeff Bebe has so much jealousy over
Russell that he can't express. Plus,
he never slept last night. You keep
Sapphire and I'll stay with Russell.
WILLIAM
Sure. I'll take her.
POLEXIA
Me too?
WILLIAM
Sure.
Estrella arrives with travel bag, equally homeless,
looking
hopeful.
WILLIAM (cont'd)
If there's room -
WILLIAM
All these people.
(wondrous, off phone book)
And they all live in Phoenix.
POLEXIA
(on phone)
Hi Dad!! I can't talk long! I'm here in
Paris. I'm staying in another Youth Hostel
with no phone and no address for mail!!
WILLIAM
(still wondrous, from phone
book)
Alex. Lowbatz.
SAPPHIRE
(emerging from bathroom)
I was the one who told him what to
tattoo on his fingers, I was the one
who made his shirts... I was there
when his wife left him.
WILLIAM
Charles. C. Swoop.
POLEXIA
(on phone)
I CAN SEE THE EIFFELL TOWER. DO YOU
KNOW THERE ARE 578 STEPS TO THE TOP?
WILLIAM
Paul and Debbie Finger.
ESTRELLA
(looking out window)
Oh my God. Simon Kirke of Bad Company
is by the pool.
POLEXIA
I GOTTA GO! I'LL CALL FROM ROME!
ESTRELLA
Is anybody here as worried about Penny
and Russell as I am?
POLEXIA
(the perfect daughter)
AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MAGGIE!!
I LOVE YOU!!
SAPPHIRE
(to Polexia and William)
Ooo, watch out - whoever you look at
when you say that - that's who you
really mean.
RUSSELL
You know. We should talk about what
we don't talk about.
PENNY
We don't have to.
RUSSELL
No, I - I went to Catholic school. I
believe in guilt and... you know, if
there's any to be had, I pretty much
want to roll around in it.
PENNY
I don't believe in attachments. No
boundaries. Just the music.
RUSSELL
I'm just saying, it's okay to talk
about it.
PENNY
Leslie.
RUSSELL
(somehow satisfied)
Alright - now we're talking.
PENNY
Leslie. Leslie. Leslie. Lesssssslie.
Leslie. Leslie. Leslie. Leslie.
Leslie. Leslie. Leslie. Leslie.
LESlie. Leslie...
PENNY (cont'd)
(beat)
Now. Have I helped you get that off
your chest?
They kiss.
SAPPHIRE
Opie, can I order room service?
WILLIAM
Okay. You guys. Wait. Put down the
phone, Polexia.
(she does, sadly)
First, this is my room...
SAPPHIRE
Come on, you're a fan like us. You're
on our side of the line.
WILLIAM
Second. I'm not Opie. Alright? Opie
is a little boy. I'm here to do a
job. I am a professional.
ESTRELLA
(flipping luggage tag)
Ooooooo, sorry, Mr. 42.
WILLIAM
Third!
(has their attention now)
... this phone is a big, big deal. In
a minute, I have to go interview
Russell. Do not answer this phone if it
rings. I have family members with
severe anxiety Problems. She will not
understand.
POLEXIA
(wounded)
But what if Ozzy calls Sapphire? And
I gave Jimmy Page this number.
ESTRELLA
Or a guy who looked like Jimmy Page.
WILLIAM
Okay. I have a solution. Answer the
phone. But if anyone without an English
accent is on the phone...
(winging it)
Just hang up. Or say it's the wrong
room.
WILLIAM
SHOULD I COME BY LATER?
RUSSELL (O.S.)
YES, I'M IN TOO TRUTHFUL A MOOD!
WILLIAM
MAYBE THAT'S A GOOD THING!!
RUSSELL (O.S.)
I'LL SEE YOU AT THE RADIO INTERVIEW
LATER!! TEN-THIRTY IN THE LOBBY.
WILLIAM
OKAY!
RUSSELL
GO AWAY!
WILLIAM
OKAY!
PENNY
Don't worry. Some to the radio
interview.
WILLIAM
No, I'm fine. I'll just interview
Jeff Bebe some more.
RUSSELL
(as in "you're on of us")
GO AWAY!
Quince takes a long hit from a joint and does not pass
it.
The entire Stillwater band is now collected in the
studio and
ready for the interview. William can't avoid looking
at Penny
Lane, who looks great tonight. She catches him, and he
barely
looks away in time. Polexia, newly reconciled with
Jeff,
notices. The very mellow disc-jockey eases up to the
microphone, as the finale of "Fever Dog" is just ending.
QUINCE ALLEN
The guitar of Russell Hammond. "Fever
Dog"... The band is Stillwater.
(beat)
Watch with your mind as they
materialize.
ESTRELLA
William's room.
BEN
Can I please speak to him? This is
Ben Fong-Torres at Rolling Stone.
ESTRELLA
I think I just messed up!
QUINCE
Look at the dogs, wearing the funny
hats. Juggling just for you. Freaks
and family...
QUINCE (cont'd)
It's Quince, with Stillwater. Here.
Live. It's the Night Circus.
QUINCE (cont'd)
Every minute a baby is born somewhere..
Life. Death. Hermetically sealed
bags of human emotion. Bags of love...
bags of kindness?
(suddenly, turns)
How'd you get together?
JEFF
Well... not to get into a "me" thing...
this is Jeff talking... but I did start
the band, some time, actually, ago.
This is back when we were the Jeff
Bebe band, and I placed an ad in a
magazine called Peaches looking for a
guitarist and Russell Hammond answered.
QUINCE
(with deep understanding)
Peaches.
JEFF
I think he was a gift from God,
actually. Nobody plays like Russell
Hammond.
RUSSELL
(sorta moved)
Well, shit. Thank you.
He instantly realizes he's slipped, on the air.
RUSSELL (cont'd)
Ooops. Better hit the delay button.
RUSSELL (cont'd)
Okay - we're talking now, right? Why
the fuck do you wait until and interview
in Arizona to say something nice about
me. Why don't you say it to my fucking
face sometime? Because I tell you
every time I think you nailed something.
JEFF
Everybody pays you compliments. It's
not my fucking job to kiss your fucking
ass all the time.
RUSSELL
Well then who's fucking job is it?
Because my ass is dying for a kiss.
And I know yours is too.
DICK
It's my fucking job. You're all
geniuses. And let me just add this
thought - smegma.
TONY
Feces.
QUINCE (cont'd)
I thought that went well.
RUSSELL
(to William)
See, this is what nobody writes about!
The in-between times! This! Us!
Right now!!
ESTRELLA
(suspiciously)
Hello?
INTER
CUT:
ELAINE
(measured, very proper)
May I speak with William please?
ESTRELLA
(cheerfully)
He's not here. I think he's in the
bar with the Band. They just got back
from the radio station. Is this Maryann
with the pot?
Silence.
ESTRELLA (cont'd)
Hello?
ELAINE
No this isn't Maryann with the pot.
This is Elaine... his Mother.
ESTRELLA
(cringing)
I thought you were English.
ELAINE
Could you please give him a message?
Could you tell him to call home
immediately? And could you also tell
him -
(at full power)
I know what's going on.
ESTRELLA
Alright. Okay. But I'm just going to
say this, and I'm going to stand by
it.
(can't help herself)
You should be really proud of him.
'Cause I know guys... and I'll bet you
do too. And he respects women, and he
likes women, and let's just pause and
appreciate a man like that. You
created him out of thin air, and you
raised him right, and we're all looking
out for him. And that's more than
I've ever said to my own parents, so
there you go.
(silence)
This is the maid speaking, by the way.
WILLIAM
(very professional)
Now that you're starting to be
successful, you had twenty-six years
to write your first Album... and you'll
have maybe four months for the second.
Do you worry that the pressure of the
business will get in the way of the
original joy of making your music? Or
-
RUSSELL
Whoa!
(laughing)
I need three more beers and my guitar
before I can answer that question.
Let's take a walk.
RUSSELL
For a minute I thought you were actually
a real journalist... which is... you
know, it's great.
(beat)
Shut that thing off, and I'll tell you
the truth.
WILLIAM
It's off.
RUSSELL
Look. I trust you. I'm going to lay
this right on you. Just make us look
cool.
WILLIAM
I will quote you warmly and accurately.
RUSSELL
That's what I'm worried about. See -
some of us have girlfriends back home.
Some of us have wives. And... some of
the people you meet on the road are
really amazing people...
RUSSELL (cont'd)
Like you. And some of the things that
happen are good for just a few people
to know about - as opposed to, say, a
million people.
WILLIAM
Ohhhh. Oh. Yeah.
RUSSELL
You know what I mean?
WILLIAM
Right. Yeah.
RUSSELL
See, you're dangerous. Most people
are just waiting to talk, but you
listen.
WILLIAM
Right. Right.
RUSSELL
So your question you asked me. I think
about It every fucking night. The
"business." I hate it!
(quietly)
I grew up with these guys, okay? I
can't play all that I can play, I'm
past these musicians, do you understand?
WILLIAM
I do.
RUSSELL
The more popular we get, the more I
can't walk on them, the bigger their
houses get, the more pressure... you
forget, man. You forget what it was
like to be real, to be a fan. You can
hear it in a lot of bands who've been
successful - it doesn't sound like
music anymore. It sounds like...
like lifestyle maintenance.
(suddenly confessional)
I used to be able to hear the sounds
of the world. Everything, to me, used
to sound like music. Everything. Now
I don't hear it. You know what I'm
trying to say?
WILLIAM
(ruefully)
Yeah.
RUSSELL
Man, it feels good to say this stuff
out loud. But what am I doing? I'm
telling secrets to the one guy you
don't tell secrets to.
WILLIAM
(feeling included)
No, that's okay. We'll do the interview
tomorrow.
RUSSELL
This is good. So there's the "friend"
and then there's the "interview guy."
WILLIAM
Yeah.
RUSSELL
So tonight it's "friend".... and when
we wake up tomorrow - "interview guy."
We'll figure it out as we go, buddy.
WILLIAM
Hey - for whatever it's worth - you
guys are really good.
WILLIAM
How would you describe your role in
Stillwater? What is the chemical that
you add to the chemistry?
LARRY
I'm the bass-player.
WILLIAM
(pressing for some poetry)
Right. And when you take that away...
what would be missing? Stylistically?
What chemical?
LARRY
(not getting it)
The bass?
DICK
Good evening Phoenix.
(applause)
From Troy, Michigan. Please welcome,
Stillwater.
DICK
Get in, get in!!
PROMOTER
Are you the manager of this band?
DICK
That, and more. Get in!
PROMOTER
You didn't even play a full set!
DICK
Your shoddy stage set-up almost killed
our guitarist!
PROMOTER
You trashed the dressing room - you
didn't play your thirty-five minutes.
You didn't fulfill your contract -
DICK
Everybody in! Get in the bus!
PROMOTER
I'll report you to every promoter in
the country! I'm gonna talk to Frank
Barcelona!
DICK
YOU DON'T FUCK WITH MY BAND'S SAFETY!
PROMOTER
I hope you have a good lawyer.
DICK
I AM A LAWYER!
PROMOTER
LOCK THE GATE ON 'EM!
PENNY
Don't worry. It's happened to all the
greats. Thank God you didn't hold the
mike stand with both hands, you'd still
be holding it. This is a good thing.
It's a good, good, good thing.
ESTRELLA
I forgot to tell you! Your mom says
to call home immediately. She says
she knows what's going on!
(receding)
See you guys in Topeka! I'll catch a
ride with Sabbath!
DICK
(casually, to Russell)
Wanna buy a gate?
DICK (cont'd)
You just bought a gate.
(to the bus)
C'mon Doris!! Get us out of town!!
WILLIAM
What did it feel like to be
electrocuted?
RUSSELL
It burns. It feels like a dose of
lead shooting through your body... and
then you see God, and he says, "How
bad do you want to be legendary?" And
god damnit. I let go.
(shaky grin as all laugh
warmly)
Rock and roll.
Jeff watches this charisma with thinly veiled envy. The
kid
scribbles in his notebook. We hear Led Zeppelin's
"That's the
Way."
PENNY
Give that to me.
PENNY (cont'd)
(breathing heavy, owning
the world)
When we go to Morocco, I think we should
wear completely different clothes, and
be completely different people.
WILLIAM
What will our names be?
PENNY
What do you think of Russell?
WILLIAM
I like him.
PENNY
You're coming to Cleveland, right?
WILLIAM
Cleveland, Ohio? Oh no no no. I gotta
get my interview with Russell before
Greenville. And you've got to help
me. Okay? Friends... remember?
PENNY
You should give him a break. There
are real problems in the band. Off
the record.
WILLIAM
What problems?
PENNY
Okay. I got it. I think your name
should be Spencer, and mine will be
Jane.
WILLIAM
I can't keep up with you.
PENNY
No one can.
WILLIAM
What's your real name?
She looks at him briefly. She puts her arm around him.
It's
intoxicating, but he doesn't quite know how to act.
With her
free hand, she gestures with a hanger. As they regard
Russell
sleeping nearby:
PENNY
Here's the thing about Russell. He's
my last project. I only do this for a
very few people. And I think we should
do it together - he is almost great.
We've got to take him there. You and
me - we can do it. Deal? Because the
other guys are good - but he could be
great. He's my last project.
PENNY (cont'd)
It's all happening.
WILLIAM
What do you love about music?
JEFF
Hey.
WILLIAM
Hey.
WILLIAM
Right now -- Topeka. Then Greenville.
Then home.
WILLIAM (cont'd)
I'm sorry I didn't call yesterday!
It's not like you can just carry a
phone around with you.
ELAINE
I guess I just miss you, and I don't
understand why I've driven both my
kids so far away from me. By all
practical rules don't I get you for
three more years?
ELAINE (cont'd)
Was I not fun?
WILLIAM
I missed the last thing you said.
ELAINE
I LOVE YOU.
WILLIAM
WHAT?
ELAINE
(angry, louder)
I MISS YOU AND I LOVE YOU!
WILLIAM
I LOVE YOU!!
RUSSELL
Fire away. I'm ready. I'm on the
"You" Train. Take me there.
The kid plugs in his microphone. Russell listens as he
springs
his first question.
WILLIAM
Do you have to be depressed to write a
sad song? Do you have to be in love
to write a love song? Is a song better
if it really happened to you? Like,
"If You Say Nothing"... where did you
write that and how did it come about?
RUSSELL
When did you get so professional?
PENNY
I'm almost done with my shirt.
DICK
Russell, your dad showed up again.
And on a lighter note.
(importantly)
Gentlemen. Your first t-shirts have
arrived.
DICK (cont'd)
It's the record company's mistake.
And they will pay. Shirts gone, band
happy.
RUSSELL
Can we just skip the vibe and go
straight to us laughing about this?
JEFF
(bitterly)
Yeah. Okay.
RUSSELL
(trying for a joke)
Because I can see by your face - you
want to get into this -
JEFF
How can you tell? I'm just one of the
out-of-focus guys.
RUSSELL
Here we go.
RUSSELL (cont'd)
Here. Take it. You LOVE this shirt -
it lets you say everything you want to
say.
JEFF
Well, it speaks pretty loudly to me.
RUSSELL
It's a t-shirt.
JEFF
I'm always gonna tell you the truth.
RUSSELL
Are you doing coke again?
JEFF
Oh yeah. All the time.
JEFF (cont'd)
This is big stuff, man. From the very
beginning -- we said -- I'm the front
man and you're the guitarist with
mystique. That's the dynamic we agreed
on -- Page, Plant... Mick, Keith. But
somehow it's all turning around. We
have got to control what's happening
to us. There's a responsibility here -
RUSSELL
Excuse me, but didn't we all get into
this to avoid responsibility?
JEFF
Forgive me.
(continuing, on shirt)
But this is the slow-moving train of
compromise that will kill us.
JEFF (cont'd)
I can't say anymore with a writer here.
RUSSELL
You can trust him, you can say whatever
you want.
JEFF
(eyes suddenly moist)
I works as hard or harder than anybody
on that stage. You know what I do - I
connect. I get people off. I look
for the guy who isn't getting off, and
I make him get off.
(beat)
Actually, that you can print.
(continues to Russell)
And yet, why do I always end up feeling
like I'm a joke to you? I feel nothing
but love for you. We're a family.
JEFF (cont'd)
You want to pretend this isn't going
to be a very big band. Well it is. You
call yourself a leader of this band, but
your direction allowed the t-shirt, when
you allowed Dick to manage us, 'cause
he's your friend... don't you see? The
t-shirt is everything. It's everything.
RUSSELL
Is it my turn? Because I think we
should, for once, say what we really
mean.
JEFF
Oh, this is the part where you quit -
RUSSELL
(stiffening)
Right. I'm so predictable.
JEFF
No I gotta tell the truth -- I want
you to like me. But sometimes I feel
like you collect people who love you
and then very skillfully... you make
them feel bad that they're not good
enough for you.
RUSSELL
Stick to singing, brother, 'cause you
ain't gonna make it as a shrink.
JEFF
Deal with it! And let me just say
what nobody Else wants to say to you -
RUSSELL
What?
JEFF
Your looks have become a problem.
DAD
Son!
RUSSELL
(dutifully)
Hello Harry.
DAD
He got all the good genes, huh? Meet
Deirdre. We're getting married in
July.
WILLIAM
You okay? You alright?
RUSSELL
(resolute, wound up)
From here on out, I'm only interested
in what's real.
RUSSELL (cont'd)
Real feelings. Real people. That's
all I'm interested in... From here on
out. What is REAL? You're real.
WILLIAM
Thanks.
RUSSELL
You know, you know all about us and I
don't know shit about you.
(struggling to be personal)
What's your... your family like? Tell
me.
WILLIAM
Well, my dad died of a heart attack
and my sister believes that my Mom is
so intense that she might have
contributed to it. Plus -
RUSSELL
(immediately)
Okay, that's good. That's enough.
WILLIAM
It's good to talk about it. Really
good.
Russel now sees some hero worship in the kid's face, and
it
makes him nervous.
WILLIAM (cont'd)
Hey, man, maybe we should go back.
RUSSELL
If they want me, they can find me.
WILLIAM
So listen. I have to go home tomorrow.
I know this is a bad time to finish
our interview.
RUSSELL
Hey, man, you know what? Write whatever
you want. I trust you.
CONCERT-GOER
(battle-cry)
Woooooooooo!!! You're Russel from
Stillwater!!
RUSSELL
On my better days, yes. I am "Woooooo,
Russell from Stillwater!"
CONCERT-GOER
Wanna go to a party at my friend Aaron's
house?! I know you're a big rock star,
but do you want to hang with some people
looking to have a good time?
CONCERT-GOER (cont'd)
We're just real Topeka people, man.
RUSSELL
(eyes glowing)
You. Aaron. Are what it's all about.
You are real. Your room is real.
Your friends are real. You are more
important than... than... all the silly
machinery. And you know it! In eleven
years it's gonna be 1984, man. Think
about that!
AARON
Wanna see me feed a mouse to my snake?
RUSSELL
Yes.
KID # 1
Can I have your belt?
RUSSELL
Take it!
Russel whips off his belt, gives it to the fan. A joint
goes
by, headed for Russell. William intercepts it and
passes it
on.
RUSSELL (cont'd)
Aaron? Where's your bathroom? I want
to live here. I want to eat your food,
and live in your city and fuckin rock
like I used to. I want to learn
everything there is to know about your
city and your town. And your way of
being real.
(stunning realization)
I used to be you.
AARON
Down the hall by the washing machine.
RUSSELL
What?
AARON
The bathroom.
RUSSELL
Okay. Good to know.
Russell rises and squeezes past fans and heads down the
hall.
PASSING FAN # 1
WOOOOOOO!!
WILLIAM
We should probably head back sometime.
PASSING FAN # 2
(holding red cup)
Watch out, there's acid in the beer
that's in the Red cups.
Russell looks at the cup in his own hand. It's white.
Then,
with his other hand, he grabs the red cup and drains it.
William winces. They move on.
RUSSELL
Topeka. Check it out.
WILLIAM
Please don't give him any more acid.
RUSSELL
Faces. Stones. Sa-weet Baby James!!
None of these people are gonna be around
in twenty years! Plastic begets
plastic!! Black plastic.
INTER
CUT:
KID ON PHONE
He's here right now! Go ahead and put
it Out over the radio, tell people to
bring food And beer and chicks. We're
at Rural Route # 4 -
WILLIAM
No no. Nope. No.
WILLIAM (cont'd)
Dick Roswell, please?
(beat)
Dick!! I got him!! He's okay... I've
been Looking after him. He's on acid,
though. I can't Really tell. How do
you know when it's "kicked in?"
RUSSELL
(bellowing to the heavens)
I AM A GOLDEN GOD!!
WILLIAM
Hey Russell -
RUSSELL
I AM A GOLDEN GOD!!
WILLIAM
Don't jump, okay?
RUSSELL
And you can tell Rolling Stone Magazine
my last words were -
RUSSELL (cont'd)
-- I'm on drugs!!
WILLIAM
I think we should work on those last
words.
RUSSELL
Critic!!
WILLIAM
No, I'm not -
RUSSELL
Okay I got it. I got it. I got it.
I got it. This is better. Last words
-
(spreads his arms, his
greatest realization)
I DIG MUSIC!!
RUSSELL (cont'd)
(immediately)
I'm on drugs!!
WILLIAM
Just come on down!!
RUSSELL
(matter-of-fact)
Okay.
RUSSELL
Thanks for saving my life. I won't
hold it against you.
DICK
(privately)
They've been crying for you like a
bunch of whimpering pussies --
RUSSELL
(woozy)
The band is over. This is my family
now.
OTHERS
Right on. He's staying with us.
DICK
(soothing)
Definitely. It's all over. We'll
just ride on to Greenville, listen to
some great music, finish the tour, and
leave those ungrateful fools behind.
And then we'll come back here, where
you'll live.
RUSSELL
I know what you're doing... and I like
it.
(noticing William)
Look at him. He's taking notes with
his eyes.
(beat, to Dick)
How do we know he's not a cop?
DICK
(to Russell)
Easy. He's your Guardian Angel.
DICK (cont'd)
Don't worry. He only means half of
what he says.
WILLIAM
Which half?
DICK
Good question.
WILLIAM
(very direct)
I have a lot more. Just help me get
my interview so I can go home from
Greenville. I have to go home.
(pulls him back)
I have to go home.
DICK
Hey. You saved the tour. That's
good enough for now.
DICK (cont'd)
Ladies and Gentlemen, the evening is
over! We hope you've enjoyed
yourselves, and we'll See you again in
1974!! Good evening!!
William gives Russell his sunglasses to face the
sunlight.
Russell stumbles out of the house to great cheers. The
Quiet
Girl breaks free to catch Russell on the way out.
QUIET GIRL
I'll never forget you.
FADE
OUT
FADE IN:
LESTER
How's it going?
INTER
CUT:
WILLIAM
Rolling Stone is calling me. I don't
have my key interview. I don't know
what to say.
LESTER BANGS
(pacing, assembling thoughts
with his hands)
You're flipping out. That's good.
Alright. This is how you blow their
minds. He'll ask you - this is Ben
Fong-Torres, right? - he'll ask you
how the story's going. Here's what
you do - let's fry his mind. Tell him
"it's a think piece about a mid-level
band struggling with their own
limitations in the harsh face of
stardom." Ha ha!! This is fun!
WILLIAM
(madly copying)
... think... piece...
CLOSE ON WRITING
SAPPHIRE
It says the food is hearty and
adventurous.
POLEXIA
(yawns)
Greenville. I'm bored.
POLEXIA (cont'd)
Hey let's deflower the kid.
SAPPHIRE
Who his the quaaludes from me?
WILLIAM
Wait. I'll leave.
WILLIAM (cont'd)
You know, I think this is going
backwards for me.
PENNY
Backwards?
WILLIAM
(flustered)
I don't know. I just thought we could
hang out, maybe do some stuff back
home, regular stuff, get to know each
other better... and then I'd see you
pee. I mean, that's the way I usually
do it.
PENNY
You're one of us. It's no big deal.
WILLIAM
I'm not one of you.
PENNY
Oh! If you go to Cleveland, Bowie's
going to be there at Swingo's, the
greatest hotel in America. I'll
introduce you to him, and his security
guy Dennis.
WILLIAM
Don't you have any regular friends?
PENNY
Famous people are just more interesting.
WILLIAM
(carefully)
Well, I would be worried that they
were using me. And not that anybody's
using you, but -
PENNY
Boy, if this was the real world and
some guy talked to me like that -
WILLIAM
Let me finish.
(continuing)
I'm not famous.... but you could always
use me. If anything happens. And I
would never use you. Even if I got
famous. So you know, you always have
that from me... in the real world. If
you ever have to go back there, for
anything.
SAPPHIRE
Your time has come.
WILLIAM
Did he call?
(realizes their intention)
What are you -- stop it -- we're talking
here.
SAPPHIRE
Pants him. Opie must die.
ANGLE ON PENNY
SAPPHIRE
Just relax. Take a vacation from
yourself. Leave this to professionals.
His eyes.
On the television.
DISSOLVE
TO:
DISSOLVE
TO:
SAPPHIRE
(half-English accent)
Hello. Hi, Ben-Fong-Torres from Rolling
Stone.
WILLIAM
(lowers voice)
Hello.
BEN
Hello William, this is your editor at --
BEN (cont'd)
Rolling Stone. How's the story?
WILLIAM
I'm getting good stuff out here.
BEN
Sounds like it.
POLEXIA
Man, I need some -
BEN
(jocular but tough)
Now listen. Get it together. We're
both professionals, I don't have to
tell you this. You're not out there
to join the party -- we already have
one Hunter Thompson. You're out there
to interview and Report. You got me?
This isn't Creem Magazine, it's Rolling
Stone. We need this story in four
days. Now I want to know how it's
shaping up.
WILLIAM
It's a think-piece about a mid-level
band grappling with their limitations
in the face of the harsh glare of
success.
BEN
(pause)
I like what we're saying. Let me try
and get you a thousand more words.
It's in consideration for the cover,
but don't tell the band.
WILLIAM
(conflicted)
Crazy.
POLEXIA
- coffee.
SAPPHIRE
Me too. Greenville is so boring.
(to William)
Any other city in the world and you'd
still be a virgin.
WILLIAM
I'm going out to find Russell.
SAPPHIRE
Will you take the laundry?
WILLIAM
(to the girls)
What am I to you? Tell me right now!
What. Am. I. To. You.
WILLIAM
Houdini... Houdini...
RUSSELL (O.S.)
GO AWAY!
Pissed, the kid flips off the door. He sits down on a
chair
directly across from the room. Push in on William, who
is
more pent-up than ever. He tries hard not to cry,
taking
gulps of air as a maid cart swishes past, revealing...
he's
failed. He cries.
RUSSELL (cont'd)
We'll do the interview in Cleveland!
WILLIAM
No. I can't. You've got to help me.
I have to go home.
RUSSELL
Come on man, we'll have more time there.
Don't be tense!!
WILLIAM
(to Penny)
You said you'd help me.
PENNY
(massaging)
Come to Cleveland.
RUSSELL
(massaging, hypnotically)
Come to Cleveland... Come to
Cleveland...
WILLIAM
I can't!!
RUSSELL
Can we help it if we like having you
around!
William is a bundle of nerves and exhaustion now.
Embarrassed
and frustrated.
RUSSELL (cont'd)
Cleveland, my man. You can't miss out
on the Rock Mecca of the midwest -
you're with us. It's all happening!
PENNY
Rock and roll!
WILLIAM
(weary)
Rock and roll.
RUSSELL
I feel... like his parents.
PENNY
I know.
RUSSELL
I wonder how that happened.
PENNY
You ever notice that all our sentences
begin with "I?"
RUSSELL
I hadn't, no.
PENNY
'Cause we should work on that.
William gets up, nods hello to the Roadie and his Date
on the
bunk above. He moves down the aisle... to the seats
near the
front. A sleeping Russell sits upright, hugging his
guitar.
Penny asleep next to him, Polaroid in her hand of...
Russell
sleeping. The kid moves on. He sits with the Bus
Driver,
whose CB crackles with chatter from other tour buses
headed to
Cleveland.
RUSSELL
Cleveland!
FAN
It's Bowie!
INTER
CUT:
WILLIAM (cont'd)
(rehearsed)
I'm fine! I'm fine! I'm flying back on
Monday Morning. I'll only miss one
test. I'll make it up.
RUSSELL
Tell her you're a slave to the groove
- you can't help it!
WILLIAM
(covers phone)
No.
RUSSELL
Hi Mom! It's Russell Hammond, I play
guitar in Stillwater! It's my fault.
How does it feel to be the mother of
the future of rock journalism?
(beat)
Hello?
RUSSELL (cont'd)
You've got a great kid -- nothing to
worry about! We're taking care of
him! And you should come to a show
sometime! Join the Circus!
ELAINE
Listen to me. Your charm does not
work on me. I'm onto you. Of course
you like him.
RUSSELL
Yes.
ELAINE
He worships you people and that's fine
with you, as long as he helps make you
rich.
RUSSELL
(a nerve is struck)
Rich? I don't think so -
ELAINE
Listen to me. He's a smart, good-
hearted, 15 year-old kid, with infinite
potential.
ELAINE (cont'd)
This is not some apron-wearing mother
you're talking to. I know about your
Valhalla of Decadence, and I shouldn't
have let him go. He is not ready for
your world of compromised values, and
diminished brain cells that you throw
away like confetti. Am I speaking
clearly to you?
RUSSELL
Yes, ma'am.
ELAINE
If you break his spirit, harm him in
any way, keep him from his chosen
profession -- which is law, Something
you may not value but I do -- you will
meet the voice on the other end of
this telephone. And it will not be
pretty. Do we understand each other?
RUSSELL
Yes... yes...
ELAINE
(always the teacher)
I didn't ask for this role, but I'll
play it. Now go do your best. "Be
bold and mighty forces will come to
your aide!" Goethe said that. It's
not too late for you to be a person of
substance. Get my son home safely,
I'm glad we spoke.
WILLIAM
Some people get her. Some don't.
RUSSELL
Your Mom kind of freaked me out.
WILLIAM
She means well.
DICK
(importantly)
From Troy, Michigan...
DICK (cont'd)
Would you please welcome to Cleveland...
More applause. This is very very very very fun.
DICK (cont'd)
Stillwater.
HANDHELD ON RUSSELL
WILLIAM
So when you play a great show like
tonight...
DICK
Okay. I need everybody's attention.
DICK (cont'd)
Alright, well, the rumors are true.
The record company has sent a big-time
manager here to try and talk you into
replacing me. His name is Dennis Hope.
I know you've all heard of him. He's
got all the big bands. He's right
outside. He wants five minutes with
you right now. I think we gotta do
it.
RUSSELL
(pissed)
Then bring him in.
JEFF
(arrogant)
Bring him in! We'll send him out on a
rail!
RUSSELL
(to William)
We'll finish on the way to Boston.
You can fly home from Boston.
DENNIS HOPE
(completely unthreatening)
Hi.
RUSSELL
We already have a manager. He's been
with us from the beginning.
DENNIS HOPE
Respectfully. We all have our roots.
I believe in bands holding onto their
roots. But those roots need to be
augmented. I'm gonna tell you the truth
- I may enrage some and enthrall others.
I don't really give a fuck. Your
manager here needs a manager. Example.
If you hadn't run out on the contract in
Phoenix, you could have sued over
Russell's hand... but you left, negating
the contract, forfeiting the deposit,
and you effectively traveled a long
way to pay that promoter... to
electrocute you.
RUSSELL
(immediately)
We travel by bus.
JEFF
Doris is the soul of this band! That
bus has been our home since we were
the Jeff Bebe Band.
DENNIS
Hey man -- it's travel on a pogo stick
if I thought we'd make more money.
You can play more dates with a plane...
INTERCUT
WITH:
RUSSELL
(passionate)
Hey man, it's not about the money! It's
about Playing music, and turning people
on!
DENNIS HOPE
(delicately)
Yes, of course. Clearly.
Respectfully. But on the distasteful
subject of money. Just know. You're
making it -- right now -- and it's all --
He gestures to infinity.
DICK
But why should we pay you for something
we can do ourselves?
DENNIS HOPE
(immediately)
Do you know how to keep from getting
charged for the ice below the
floorboards of Chicago Stadium?
Do you know how to do a headlining
tour, do you Claire Rothman at the
L.A. Forum? Do you know Bobbi Cowan,
Lisa Robinson, Jim Ladd, Frank
Barcelona?
(look around, amazed)
This is Cleveland. Where's Kid Leo??
(basics)
Do you know how you get a record not
pressed but played? Do you know? I
didn't invent the rainy day, man. I
just own the best umbrella.
He laughs. It's fun. Band members are now listening,
curiously
spellbound.
DICK
(flustered)
Yeah, well... we'll think about what
you said.
DENNIS HOPE
(casually)
No no. You don't understand. I'll
think about it. I'm not auditioning.
I came here to decide whether I want
to represent you. So I'll stand outside
for a moment, and think about whether
I want to stay.
RUSSELL
This is not us. This is too much.
RUSSELL (cont'd)
(impressed at seat)
This is too much.
DENNIS HOPE
Do you mind?
WILLIAM
Anyone seen Russell?
DICK
The Enemy!
RUSSELL
Hey! Welcome to the Road Crew Poker
Party. This game's been going of for
two years.
DICK
That's Mick - he's with The Who. That's
John - with J. Geils. And that's
Richard with the Eagles... and you know
The Wheel.
THE WHEEL
Hey.
DICK
Side proposition. For fifty dollars
and a case of Heineken, I will put
into the pot... three Lovely Ladies,
Including the famous Penny Lane... the
Band-Aids, who need to exit our tour
before New York...
REG
It's a deal. Show 'em.
Dick lays down three tens. Reg lays down three Kings.
Dick
loses.
DICK
Three Lovely Ladies... now in the
custody of Humble Pie.
REG
Alright, so we owe you fifty dollars
and a case of Heineken.
RUSSELL
Look. Nobody's feelings are getting
hurt here. She already knows Leslie's
coming To New York tomorrow. They all
understand. This is the Circus.
Everybody's trying not to go home.
Nobody's saying goodbye.
WILLIAM
No, I got it.
RUSSELL
These are the Rules that come with
every electric Guitar and every
amplifier. They're not just written
anywhere. Rock and roll, brother. No
attachments. No boundaries.
RUSSELL (cont'd)
Quit looking at me like that.
SABBATH ROADIE
Keep this hallway clear!
DICK
Happy Birthday from us.
RUSSELL
So Penny our friend has gained another year.
But long ago, she threw it in gear.
She rocked the south
The East and West.
Could you please get off this endless tour
Where we're Black Sabbath's fucking
special guest?
Laughter.
RUSSELL (cont'd)
She says she's retired
Though we've heard that before.
She chose us...
And in Penny Lane we trust
She is a fan of this band.
Much more so than us.
DENNIS HOPE
(to the point)
Sorry the plane isn't bigger.
PENNY
So it wasn't a birthday party, it was
a farewell.
PENNY (cont'd)
You think you can fool me. I read
you. I know what you're thinking.
WILLIAM
What's that?
PENNY
(touched)
You're worried about me and Russell.
WILLIAM
Yeah. I gotta work on that.
PENNY
You're so sweet. God -- if there was
more of you in him...
WILLIAM
Don't tell me this stuff. I want to
like him.
PENNY
(concerned for him)
Did you miss your test or something?
PENNY (cont'd)
I know I'm not on the plane, and I'm
not going on some other band's bus. I
mean, I could go with the Sabbath road
crew, but that would be pathetic. The
girls are all going with Humble Pie.
If you could find out from Russell --
WILLIAM
(quietly)
Penny -
PENNY
(a decision)
Forget it. I'm flying to New York
myself. I have a bunch of partial
tickets. I know his ex-wife, current
girlfriend's going to be there -
WILLIAM
-- I'm not sure that's a good idea.
PENNY
(overlapping)
What? What are you saying? What do
you know? Did Russell say something?
WILLIAM
I don't know anything.
PENNY
I know he wants me there. He gave me
a cake. He wrote me that sweet poem.
WILLIAM
(loud)
Wake up! Don't go to New York!
PENNY
What are you telling me?
PENNY
You're right. I'm not who I said I
was. I'm just like you. I love music,
so this is my family. Some people
like tractors, and they hang out with
tractor people. What's the worst that
could happen if I go to New York?
(little girl)
"I get my little heart broken?"
WILLIAM
Oh no. Never you! You eat people
alive!
PENNY
(accusatory)
I'm sorry I told you so much. You
have some way of making everybody tell
you all their secrets.
WILLIAM
That's a good one. Tell me too much
and make it my fault.
PENNY
Come on. You've seen what's happened.
Russell and I fell in love. How much,
I don't know... but this is the first
time I've fallen for someone, really
fallen... since Iggy, and I'm not happy
about it.
WILLIAM
(beat)
You slept with Iggy Pop!?
WILLIAM (cont'd)
(sputtering)
Why don't you just tell me now, who
else -- so when I go to the record
store, I know who to be jealous of.
Because right now, it's looking like
the whole store!
PENNY
(teasing, defiant)
You'll remember me forever. I was
there when you lost your virginity.
WILLIAM
(upset at the memory)
So was Steely Dan! It was a crowded
room.
PENNY
You make me laugh. I think I'm gonna
cry.
WILLIAM
(continuing)
I thought we were going to Morocco!
There's no Morocco. There's never been
a Morocco. There's not even a Penny
Lane. I don'teven know your real
name.
PENNY
If I ever met a guy in the real world,
who looked at me the way you just looked
at me...
WILLIAM
When and where does the real world
occur? I am really... confused here.
Fuck! All these Rules And all these
sayings... and nicknames...
PENNY
You know -- you're too sweet for rock
and roll.
WILLIAM
Where do you get off... where do you
get "sweet?" I'm not sweet. I'm dark
and mysterious and pissed-off and I
could be very dangerous to all of you...
I'm not sweet, and you should know
that about me! I am The Enemy.
PENNY
You're not any of those things and
that's what I love about you.
WILLIAM
You fall in love to keep from falling
in love.
PENNY
I don't want to go home!
WILLIAM
Well, I have to go home. And you never
helped me.
PENNY
Yes I did.
WILLIAM
That disc-jockey in Arizona got a better
interview than me... and he was asleep.
PENNY
Look. You should be happy for me.
You don't know what he says to me in
private. Maybe it is love. As much
as it can be with someone who --
WILLIAM
(blurts)
-- sold you to Humble Pie for fifty
dollars and a case of beer? I was
there!
PENNY
What kind of beer?
POLEXIA
Who did this to us?
ELAINE
Then don't come home. Don't do this
to me. If you're going to miss
graduation, don't come home.
ELAINE
I'm sorry. I can't concentrate.
(beat, confesses, unhinged)
Rock stars kidnaped my son.
RUSSELL
"New York. Just like I pictured it...
"
JEFF
" ... skyscrapers and everything."
RUSSELL
(to William)
We showed you America. We did
everything but get you laid.
FAN
I'm from the Church of Lenny. We bow
to his will and all that it represents
- The King of the King of Kings.
RUSSELL
Make it out to - ?
FAN
To Lenny.
DICK
She's here.
William turns, expecting to see Penny. Instead we see
the
long-limbed, athletic, pretty and collegiate LESLIE.
She
holds a Nikon camera, and snaps their picture.
JEFF
Leslie!
DICK
Your room is completely stocked, far
away from any noisy ice machines,
elevators or maid quarters. The air-
conditioning is already on. And here
is your security key -- by the way,
you look stunning.
LESLIE
(taking treatment for
granted)
ThanksI'llseeyoulater.
DICK
Bags in five! Cars leave for the party
at six!
DICK (cont'd)
You know. There are lighter souvenirs.
WILLIAM
(embarrassed)
Well -- I kept thinking I was going
home the next day --
DICK
I did too. Fifteen years ago.
All help him with his spilled souvenirs. Russell shares
a
private look with the kid. Nearby Leslie greets other
band
members.
WILLIAM
Ric!
RIC
(whispers)
It's all happening. Zeppelin is at
the Plaza. So's four other bands.
They're partying up there right now.
Sapphire, and Miss Penny Lane too...
She wants you to call her.
(William reacts)
They're all staying under the name
Emily Rugburn.
RUSSELL
(exiting with Leslie)
After the party. I'll come to your
room - I promise. We'll talk. This
is Leslie, by the way. Leslie, this
is our wayward friend from Rolling
Stone. The Enemy.
CLERK
William Miller? Sir, you have an urgent
call from a Mr. "Ben Fong-Torres."
He's holding for you, right now.
WILLIAM
(deep voice)
Hello.
INTE
RCUT
BEN
Congratulations. It's gonna be a cover.
Neal Preston will shoot 'em next week
in L.A. we need you back in San
Francisco tomorrow. We'll finish the
story here.
BEN (cont'd)
You can tell the band. Allison, our
fact checker, needs you to transmit
whatever you have of the story, tonight,
now, along with your notes. There is
a mojo at the Daily News they'll let
us use -
WILLIAM
Mojo?
BEN
A mojo. It's a very modern machine
that transmits pages over the telephone.
It only takes eighteen Minutes a page...
DENNIS HOPE
He's okay, he's with us -
Hope shoves him past the Guard, and sends him into a
very mature
new world.
RUSSELL
Ah ha! There you are, ya little fucker.
Come on --
WILLIAM
I have some good news.
RUSSELL
-- I'll piss to that. Follow me.
RUSSELL (cont'd)
At what point do I just take the hint?
Nobody Loves this band. People like
us, do they love us?
WILLIAM
I do.
RUSSELL
(then pissed)
Oh - get this - somebody told Penny
Lane I sold her for beer. The network
of these chicks! Like I would do that.
It's Jeff who told her, right? Not
you, right? None of these guys can
just calm down and be a fuckin adult.
Now she's here, freaking out. Leslie
can smell it.
WILLIAM
(exiting)
Wait. I've got something to tell -
WILLIAM
You guys -- you guys --
(beat)
You're gonna be on the cover of Rolling
Stone.
JEFF
(tears welling, instantly)
The cover of Rolling Stone. And we
made it together. They don't just put
somebody with one little hit on the
cover of Rolling Stone Fucking Magazine,
man. We made it.
JEFF (cont'd)
(continuing)
Damn it -- I'm gonna enjoy this. The
first time I bought that magazine The
Beatles were on the cover. Four of
them. Four of us. Together.
TOGETHER!
LESLIE
Who is that girl? She's creeping me
out. She's not with any of you, is
she?
WILLIAM/DICK
She's with me.
POV WILLIAM
WILLIAM
Emily Rugburn, please.
WILLIAM
Hi. I'm a friend of Penny Lane's.
MUSICIAN # 1
Aren't we all -
WILLIAM
Where is she?
William does.
ENGLISH MUSICIAN
She's sick. Let's get out of here.
ENGLISH MUSICIAN # 2
She used to be so much more together.
WILLIAM
What happened?
PENNY LANE
I'm not good at goodbyes.
WILLIAM
Oh -- wonderful.
(into phone)
Front desk? Please send a doctor.
Room... what room? 703. 702. Both
rooms, either room. This is Mr. Rugburn,
Yes. My wife's had an accident with
some quaaludes. Yes - I'll do that.
The room has emptied out. Just them, and the remnants
of a
movable party that has moved elsewhere.
WILLIAM (cont'd)
Wake up!
PRINCIPAL
Victor Sanchez!
WILLIAM
"In the unlikely event of a water
landing... "
PENNY
"... you will be required to wear a
safety vest."
WILLIAM
Keep going.
PENNY
"Please place all stowable luggage in
the overhead compartments... out in the
seat in front of you."
WILLIAM
(prompting)
"Seat and tray tables."
PENNY
"And seat-backs and tray-tables should
be in their full and upright and locked
positions... "
PRINCIPAL
And now... out "Pending" Graduates!
(pause)
William Miller... not present.
WILLIAM
"In the tragic event of a water
landing..."
PRINCIPAL
And to the class of 1973, we say --
(beat)
Don't forget to remember yourself as
you are today... Full of hope... and
the dream that everything is possible...
Remember this, twenty years from now,
when we all own home computers and we
all travel in shiny electrical cars
that move swiftly, high above the
city...
(beat)
They key to the future is keeping today
alive forever.
MRS. DEEGAN
First. Release the guilt.
(Elaine nods)
Second -
ELAINE
Please let there be only two, because
I can't get past Number One.
MRS. DEEGAN
Second. Leave a little room for the
other teachers in this world. He's
out there looking for mentors.
ELAINE
He's got twelve of them. They're lined
up. He's just tired of me.
PENNY
"... you will be required to..."
(gives up)
I'm tired.
WILLIAM
Well. Now that I have your attention.
And you may not remember this later, I
just want to make it clear that... Hey!
(she blinks, barely awake
again)
I know you've heard this before. And
I have never said this to anybody, not
really - well, nobody who didn't legally
have to say it back to me, but -
(tries to be casual)
I love you. And I have a hard time
sharing you with all of rock and roll
because I - why am I nervous? - You'll
never remember this - HEY! -
(she blinks)
I love you, and I'm about to boldly go
where... Many men have gone before...
ON THE BATHTUB
DOCTOR
Your wife will be okay for now -
WILLIAM
Thank you Doctor.
DOCTOR
However, she says you're her brother.
WILLIAM
(eyes report)
She's a little confused.
DOCTOR
Nice champagne.
WILLIAM
I don't have a driver's license. With
me.
DOCTOR
Tomorrow's my wedding anniversary.
I'd prefer to take care of this without
facing the dawn at the police station.
So if you can find a way to get this
girl - your wife - back home to her
parents, I'd let you pay me anything
you can afford. Because you don't
appear to be related to the famous
Rugburns of Rhode Island.
WILLIAM
Happy Anniversary.
DOCTOR
She won't be good company, but keep
her awake for another four hours.
PENNY
(baring her soul)
When I was 14, my Mom and her boyfriend
took me to a Rolling Stones concert -
and I freaked out and I rushed up to
the front of the stage and then a
thousand people had the same idea at
the same time and I was getting crushed.
And I couldn't breathe and that thought
flashed through me - almost like a car
accident - I thought I might die. And
it was in the middle of "Midnight
Rambler" and Keith Richards saw me.
And he came over, and came to the front
of the stage, and he pulled me out.
And they took me backstage and they
gave me coke with ice and a - and a
lemon. And I never went home.
WILLIAM
What about your Mom?
PENNY
She always said - "Marry Up." Marry
someone grand. That's why she named
me Lady.
WILLIAM
(horrified)
She named you Lady?
PENNY
Lady Goodman.
WILLIAM
No.
PENNY
You never really get used to it, either.
WILLIAM
Well -- this -- this just explains
everything.
WILLIAM (cont'd)
See you back in the real world.
PENNY
See you back there.
WILLIAM
Hey Lady!
STEWARDESS
Please extinguish all flammable items,
and return all seats and tray tables to
their full and upright locked positions.
ON WINDOW
CLOSE ON WILLIAM
FADE
OUT
FADE UP
RUSSELL
Why didn't you come back to the party?
Bob Dylan showed up. He was sitting
at our table for... had to be an hour,
right? Just Rapping. Bob Dylan! I
kept looking for you. I was going to
introduce you.
JEFF
What happened to you last night?
WILLIAM
It's a log story.
RUSSELL
(singing Buddy Holly)
"Peggy Sure... Peggy Sue... "
DICK
Please.
RUSSELL
"Pretty pretty pretty pretty Peggy
Sue... "
JEFF
We shouldn't be here.
RUSSELL
Doris, we miss you!
PILOT'S VOICE
This is Craig, your pilot. It appears
we've caught the edge of that electrical
storm we were trying to outrun. Buckle
up tight now. We're gonna do our best
to getcha out of this.
JEFF
"Electrical storm?"
RUSSELL
(strapping in for a roller
coaster)
Rock and roll.
RUSSELL (cont'd)
Wooooooo Baby!
CO-PILOT
We're gonna try to land in Tupelo.
We're going to have to cut the inside
lighting for the next several minutes.
We found a field to land in.
DENNIS HOPE
A field?
JEFF
I can't breathe.
CO-PILOT
It might be a rough set-down. We should
be fine.
(cracking at the edges)
But what we do say in a situation like
this is - We would pass but before the
plane ... disassembled. However, God
help us, if there's anything you want
to say to each other, any secrets,
anything like that, now would be a
good time. But just hang in there.
We'll get you out of this.
He returns to the cockpit. The weather worsens, as the
hail
suddenly pelts the plane, and it comes down hard.
Inside lights
shut off. William stares straight ahead, as the
cockpit door
swings open - total chaos visible inside - and then
shuts again.
DICK
And everyone thinks it's so glamorous
out here.
LARRY
(oddly detached)
He just told us we're gonna die.
JEFF
(insecurities running wild)
We're gonna crash in Elvis' hometown --
RUSSELL
Shut up.
JEFF
-- we can't even die in an original
city!
RUSSELL
C'mon Dennis, get us a better city.
LESLIE
Oh my God.
PUSH IN ON WILLIAM
RUSSELL
If something should happen. I love
all of you. I don't think we have to
do the secrets thing.
DENNIS HOPE
I once hit a man in Dearborn, Michigan.
A hit-and-run. I hit him and kept on
going. I don't know if he's alive or
dead, but I'm sorry.
LESLIE
(gripped with fear)
Oh my God.
DICK
I love you all too, and you're my
family. Especially since Marna left
me. But if I ever took an extra dollar
or two, here and there, it was because
I knew I'd earned it.
RUSSELL
I slept with Marna, Dick.
JEFF
I did too.
LARRY
I waited until you broke up with her.
But me too.
JEFF
I also slept with Leslie, when you
were fighting.
RUSSELL
You... slept with Jeff?
LESLIE
Yes, but it didn't count. It was the
summer we decided to be free of all
rules.
RUSSELL
(to Jeff)
And you say you "love me."
JEFF
(the truth)
I don't love you, man. I never did.
RUSSELL
Please. Enough.
JEFF
NONE of us love you. You act above
us. You ALWAYS HAVE!!
LARRY
Finally. The truth.
JEFF
You just held it over us, like you
light leave... like we're lucky to be
with you. And we had to live with it.
I had to live with you, and now I might
die with you and it's not fucking fair.
RUSSELL
(to Larry and Ed)
You hate me? You too?
RUSSELL (cont'd)
All this love. All this loyalty.
(incredulous, giddy)
And you don't even like me.
JEFF
And I'm still in love with you Leslie.
LESLIE
I don't want to hear anymore. Shut
up! Shut up! Shut up!
RUSSELL
(to Jeff)
Whatever happens, you're dead.
JEFF
Don't be self-righteous, Russell, not
now. You were sleeping with Penny,
that groupie. Last summer, and up
until yesterday. Why don't you tell
Leslie THAT?
DENNIS
(freaking out)
I quit.
ED
I'm gay.
Then.
CO-PILOT
Thank God above, WE'RE ALIVE!! WE'RE
ALIVE!! WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT!!
JEFF
Well, I think we can build on this new
honesty.
RECEPTIONIST
Leave your package at the desk.
WILLIAM
I'm not a messenger. I'm one of your
writers. William Miller.
BEN
You're William Miller?
The secret emerges not with a bang but with a slight and
tired
nod of the head.
WILLIAM
Yep.
BEN
(putting it all together)
Oh baby.
JANN
We can't run this piece.
BEN
You obviously saw more than you wrote
about. After eight days on the road
with these guys.
DAVID FELTON
Didn't anything happen?
JANN
And where are you in this piece? What
did you want to write? Because this
reads like what they wanted you to
write.
BEN
What happened to your highly-touted
think piece on limitations of a middle-
level Band in the face of success?
JANN
We can push up Chet's Who cover -
FACT CHECKER
Good 'cause it's going to take me three
days to get through this research.
It's all handwritten, on little slips.
Plus, they all refer to woman as
"chicks." I mean, as a woman I have a
problem with that. I know it's a side
issue.
DAVID FELTON
(sympathetic, loquacious)
It's a "puff piece." you fell for
'em. It happens. A relationship forms.
You want them to like you.
(wistful, chewing cigarette
holder)
Happened with me and Charlie Manson.
He was a very charming... lively...
charismatic...
WILLIAM
Please let me finish it. Give me
tonight to work on it.
FACT CHECKER
Chet's piece is all fact-checked and
ready.
JANN
(to William)
Get some sleep. We'll do another story
sometime. We'll get you a kill fee.
FACT CHECKER
His research is all on little bits of
paper. Did I say that?
WILLIAM
Ben. You told me to send what I had.
It's not finished.
FACT CHECKER
That's being charitable.
JANN
Let him use the big office. It's
where Hunter used to write.
FACT CHECKER
(pointed re: his age)
You can type.
WILLIAM
Yes. It took it in grade school.
LESTER BANGS
Aw, man. You made friends with them!
See, friendship is the booze they feed
you. They want you to get drunk on
feeling like you belong.
INTER
CUT:
WILLIAM
(ruefully)
Well, it was fun.
LESTER BANGS
They make you feel cool. And hey. I
met you. You are not "cool."
WILLIAM
I know. Even when I though I was, I
knew I wasn't.
LESTER BANGS
That's because we are uncool! And
while women will always be a problem for
guys like us, most of the great art in
the world is about that very problem.
Good-looking people have no spine!
Their art never lasts! They get the
girls, but we're smarter.
WILLIAM
I can really see that now.
LESTER BANGS
Yeah, great art is about conflict and
pain and guilt and longing and love
disguised as sex, and sex disguised as
love... and let's face it, you got a
big head start.
WILLIAM
I'm glad you were home.
LESTER BANGS
I'm always home! I'm uncool!
WILLIAM
Me too!
LESTER BANGS
(leveling)
The only true currency in this bankrupt
world if what we share with someone
else when we're uncool.
WILLIAM
(distraught)
I feel better
LESTER
My advice to you. I know you think
those guys are your friends. You want
to be a true friend to them?
LESTER BANGS
Be honest and unmerciful.
(beat)
You're doing great. Call me later is
you want. I'm always up.
FELTON
Read me the opening line.
BEN
(reads aloud)
"I am flying high over Tupelo,
Mississippi, with America's hottest
band, and we are all about to die."
FELTON
Mmmmm.
(as if sampling wine)
Dark. Lively.
BEN
Yeah, and it gets better.
(impressed)
Did this all really happen?
FACT CHECKER
(jealously reaches for
manuscript)
Give it to me. I'll call and check
the quotes.
JEFF
Look. Let's just piece together our
information... because the fact-checker
asked us all about different parts of
the story.
TONY
What did he write about? What's he
using?
JEFF
It. All. He's using it all.
RUSSELL
So what?
JEFF
So what?
(beat)
We come off like amateurs... some
average band... trying to come to
grips, jealous and fighting and breaking
up - we're buffoons!
RUSSELL
Maybe we just don't see ourselves the
way we really are.
JEFF
He was supposed to be our friend.
RUSSELL
(ruefully, remembering)
I told him to write what he wanted.
TONY
(to Russell)
By the way, he has you on acid,
screaming "I Am A Golden God" from a
fan's rooftop.
RUSSELL
(immediately remembering)
Oh my God.
JEFF
They used him to fuck us.
RUSSELL
(still back at "Golden
God")
I didn't say "Golden God." Or did I?
DICK
We never took him seriously, and now
it's serious.
RUSSELL
I liked him as a person.
JEFF
He was never a "person!" He was a
journalist!
RUSSELL
You. You had the right idea all along.
DENNIS HOPE
(nervously)
How about the plane flight?
DICK
It's all in there. But don't worry,
it's all unspecific who say what. No
names are mentioned in the more
embarrassing sequences, it's just
completely obvious who's who! We're
fucked!
Silence.
RUSSELL
I forgot he was there.
DENNIS HOPE
Well, they haven't talked to Russell -
he can always deny the key stuff to
the fact checker. Then they can't
print it.
JEFF
(brightening)
Is that true?
DENNIS HOPE
It's war, my friend. If you'd met me
earlier, he would have never been on the
around.
FACT CHECKER
The band just denied 90% of the story.
It's a fabrication.
WILLIAM
Did you talk to Russell?
FACT CHECKER
Russell Hammond is the one who denied
it.
BEN
(darkly)
Crazy.
FACT CHECKER
(one last shot, to William)
We're going with the Who - !
SOMEONE'S VOICE
He's just some fan... what did you
expect?
FELTON
Well, I believe you.
FELTON (cont'd)
Jim Morrison once came to my house and
drank a beer. The beer is still on my
mantle. I'm 35 years old with Jim
Morrison's beer as a shrine. I wanted
to be Earnest Hemingway. Instead. I
have Jim Morrison's beer.
(shrugs, he's learned to
live with it)
If you didn't make your story up, good
for you. If you did make it up... good
for you.
FELTON (cont'd)
Say something, so I know you're alive.
WILLIAM
Goodbye.
He exits.
FELTON
Powerful word. Strong. Final.
RUSSELL
I feel bad.
SAPPHIRE
Well, at least you feel. That puts
you in a higher class of asshole.
RUSSELL
What did I do?
SAPPHIRE
Well - you can do what the big boys
do.
(he looks at her)
Nothing.
RUSSELL
Yeah.
SAPPHIRE
You believe these new girls? None of
'em take birth control, and they eat
all the steak.
SAPPHIRE (cont'd)
They don't even know what it id to be
a fan! To blindly love some silly
piece of music... or some band so much
that it hurts... please, they're all
just after the money. Shoo --
(in their direction)
Go rob a bank! It's more honest!
RUSSELL
Is Penny okay?
SAPPHIRE
The Quaalude Incident. Yeah, it wasn't
pretty. She could have died. I always
warned her about letting too many guys
fall in love with her. I guess I was
wrong.
(shrugs)
On of 'em saved her life.
Russell nods.
RUSSELL
Well, it's finally over with Leslie.
I'm going to call her.
SAPPHIRE
Let her retire.
(he doesn't respond)
You want to lock her up in a house in
Michigan? Please.
(he doesn't respond)
Write her a song someday. She deserves
it. Something about that girl brought
out the best in a lot of...
(looks around backstage)
... pretty average people. She deserves
it...
SAPPHIRE (cont'd)
(forward thinking)
... because something tells me twenty
years from now, we'll remember her...
and not much else.
DICK
Have a good vacation. I hope the band
stays together. Before it all went
down the shitter, it was starting to
get really good.
RUSSELL
I'm not going to blame myself. I do
make people happy. They just shouldn't
get to know me... 'cause it appears to
spoil everything.
SAPPHIRE
Don't be so easy on yourself.
RUSSELL
What gives you the right to get this
personal with me.
SAPPHIRE
Let's not reminisce.
ANITA
William?
ANITA (cont'd)
You guys this is my brother!
ANITA
You guys, I'll deadhead back later. I
think I'm needed.
FEMALE ATTENDANT
You have a good day!
ANITA
You look awful, but that's great.
You're living your life! You're finally
free of... her.
WILLIAM
Yeah.
ANITA
Hey. I'll take off work. Let's have
an adventure together. You and me,
finally. Anywhere you want to go.
Anywhere in the world.
ANITA
This is not my idea of a good time.
WILLIAM
Just get me to my bed.
ANITA
(resigned)
I'll deal with her.
ANITA
(so worried)
What are we going to do about him?
ELAINE
I don't know. Whatever happened to him, I
just wish it could have happened to me.
ANITA
The magazine killed his story.
ON BED
RUSSELL
Hi, I'm Russel Hammond.
SECRETARY
You're here regarding?
RUSSELL
My life.
RUSSELL
I don't care what happens. I don't
care if you put us on the cover. But
you sent us a kid and... and he was a
fan. And we all made friends with
him - absolutely, to get a good story.
But then we actually liked him. We
thought he's... show us our lives in
some mythic way and I guess... we're
not mythic. We panicked.
JANN
You denied most of the story.
RUSSELL
Yeah, well, here's the problem with
the truth. It's too true -
BEN
Well, we appreciate the visit. The
last time an artist came here, it was
Buddy Miles and he punched me.
RUSSELL
I'm not punching anybody. I am
personally, as of 2 pm yesterday, on a
voyage of self-reinvention. This is
about William Miller.
(counting off fingers)
He lives with us, he lost his virginity,
he saw us at our worst, appreciated
our best, he saved two lives, including
mine... he smuggled about a half-pound
of pot into Boston, and we never even
told him -
RUSSELL (cont'd)
-- we told him too much, we told him
everything... He almost died with us
over Tupelo... if the band survives
him, it'll be a miracle... but you
know, he tried to keep up, and that's
a journalist to me.
JANN
It's too late. We're going with a
different cover.
RUSSELL
(immediately)
Thank God.
RUSSELL (cont'd)
You tell me it's too late. But I could
go back to my hotel room and... and
O.D. tonight and something tells me
you'd find a way to put me on the cover
of the next issue. Am I right?
RUSSELL (cont'd)
I'm learning the game.
(beat, shrug)
We fucked up. We made friends with him.
BEN
Next time we'll all be more
professional.
RUSSELL
Maybe so.
(beat, an odd thought)
But God forbid, the day comes when
selling yourself is as important as
the music you make.
(rueful, to Hendrix on the
wall)
You might have died at the right time,
my friend.
JANN
Thank you for visiting. Good luck.
RUSSELL
Do what you want, but the story is
true.
RUSSELL (cont'd)
Good evening!
ANITA
They're called pancakes. Who knows
when we'll be together again. Splurge.
It's what most people call breakfast.
ELAINE
I went through your records. And I
found a song to play for you.
FADE
OUT
THE END