Dealing With Conflict in The Workplace
Dealing With Conflict in The Workplace
EDITOR
EDITORIAL DIRECTOR
ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER
PUBLISHER
Kathy A. Shipp
Patrick DiDomenico
Adam Goldstein
Phillip A. Ash
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isputes between employees are inevitable. But if left unresolved, they can
disrupt your departments productivity, sap morale and even cause some
good employees to quit.
Thats why Business Management Daily has prepared this workplace survival
special report for managers, employees and HR professionals: Workplace
Conflict Resolution: 10 ways to manage employee conflict and improve office
communication, the workplace environment and team productivity.
Learn how to resolve workplace conflict on everything from refereeing staff
rivalries to dealing with a boss whos throwing more than just a temper tantrum to
managing co-worker resentment when you get a promotion.
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Yes, allowing people to speak their minds can increase the level of conflict with
which you must deal. Thats OK. You have to get through the conflict phase to
find the solution.
Sometimes, feeling that he or she is finally been heard can dramatically change
an angry persons outlook. Plus, as the employee tells the story, new information
may come to light that allows a solution to emerge naturally.
2. Bring a reality check to the table. Often in a conflict, the parties are so
focused on minutiae that they lose sight of the big picture and its implications. As
the mediator, you need to bring people back to reality by wrenching their attention
away from the grain of sand and having them focus on the whole beach. Doing so
may help resolution arrive at a startling speed.
3. Identify the true impediment. In every conflict, ask yourself: What is the true
motivating factor here? What is really keeping this person from agreeing to a
solution?
When you can identify the impediment, then you can predict how the person will
respond to certain ideas, and you can shape negotiations accordingly.
4. Learn to read minds. Mind-reading is not magic. It is a combination of
observation and intuition, which is born of experience. You can learn a lot about
how the parties see a dispute by paying attention to body language and listening
closely not only to their words but also to the emotional tone behind their words.
5. Think creatively about ways people can cooperate rather than clash. In
every negotiation, theres a tension between the desire to compete and the desire to
cooperate.
Be on the lookout for signals that support a cooperative environment. Thats
where the most creative solutions are born.
6. Take the spotlight off someone whos refusing to budge. Isolation tends to
create movement. When you mediate a multiparty conflict, youll often discover
that one person insists on taking a hard-line approach, refusing to compromise and
shooting down every solution presented.
Suggestion: Take the attention off the last man (or woman) standing and begin
settling around that person. Youll find that the holdout starts to anxiously call and
send emails, trying to get things going again. When his or her perceived power is
neutralized, the balky negotiator quickly sees the value of compromise.
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7. Edit the script to help people see their situation in a different light.
People tend to get stuck in their positions because theyre telling what happened
from a narrow viewpoint and in a negative, hopeless tone. They cant see the
situation any other way unless you help them do so.
As the mediator, you can take a larger view that looks not at one party or the other
winning but at both parties working toward a mutual goal. One way to do that is
to edit their script. Retell their story about the dispute in a positive, forwardlooking construction.
In that way, you literally give them the words to see their options in a new light.
8. Avoid the winners curse by carefully pacing negotiations. Believe it or
not, its possible to reach a solution too quickly.
We all have an inner clock that lets us know how long a negotiation should take.
When a deal seems too easy, a kind of buyers remorse can set in. One or both
parties may be left feeling that if things had moved more slowly, they might have
cut a better deal.
Dont rush the dance or the negotiation will fail.
Even when you know you can wrap up things quickly, its to everyones
advantage to keep the negotiation proceeding normally, for a reasonable amount of
time, before the inevitable settlement.
9. Realize that every conflict cant be solved. What if youve tried to help two
warring factions find a fair solution, but you just cant reach that elusive goal?
That can happenand often does. Not every negotiation will have a win/win
outcome. Not everyone can live together in harmony. There are times when you
just have to accept that both parties will leave the table equally unhappy. Isolate
the participants if possible, and just move on.
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Enough is enough. The constant bickering disturbs other workers and upsets the
departments workflow.
Disputes between employees are common and inevitable. The difficult decision is
when to step in, says Joseph F. Byrnes, professor of management at Bentley
Colleges Graduate School in Waltham, Mass. Give the warring parties a chance
to resolve it on their own, he says. The time to take action is when things get out
of hand, and the problems are affecting their work or disrupting other peoples
work.
Find out if the conflict is work related and has a structural root or whether its
interpersonal and has no relationship to the job, Byrnes advises. An interpersonal
conflict can happen on or off the job, whereas structural ones are inevitable in
many organizations.
Advice: An easy way to evaluate the conflict, Byrnes says, is to ask yourself: If
you took these two people out of the situation and put two new people in, would
you still have the conflict? If the answer is yes, its a structural conflict; if no, the
cause is definitely interpersonal.
Structured conflicts can turn personal
Byrnes points out that structural conflicts can often turn interpersonal. After
monthssometimes yearsof battling, the two people concerned forget that there
are actually systemic reasons for the conflict.
Managers can resolve both structural and interpersonal conflicts, Byrnes says, and
often the techniques are not so different. To resolve a structural conflict:
Expand resources. You can often alleviate a workflow problem by changing
the way jobs are scheduled or by providing more resources.
Clarify job responsibilities. Conflicts frequently arise when one department
encroaches on anothers domain. In engineering companies, for example,
designers and engineers often have their differences. The designer creates a
product on paper so that the engineer can create the actual product. Inevitably,
problems arise when the two professionals work together to create the prototype.
Each has his or her own ideas about how things should be done; hence, tempers
often flare before solutions are found.
The manager can step in and redefine who does what in the process and possibly
act as a liaison between the two parties, Byrnes says.
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Here are five techniques Byrnes suggests for dealing with either kind of conflict:
1. Demand a truce. Order the combatants to stop fighting and work out the
problem themselves. If theyre not successful, offer to step in and act as
arbitrator. Theyll often welcome your stepping in because youre lifting
the burden of solving the conflict from their shoulders, Byrnes says.
2. Reduce interaction. Often, conflicts cool off when the two parties dont
have to speak to each other throughout the day, he says. If theyre
normally exchanging information all day long, suggest they meet less
frequently, once in the morning and once in the afternoon. If theyre
constantly exchanging written information, for example, ask them to
convey it through a neutral third party.
3. Mediate. Meet with the parties together. (If the issue is explosive, it might
be better to meet with each one alone to gather facts.) Find out what the
problem is, thrash it out and work together to find a solution. Talking it out
can relieve pressure and often defuse the situation.
4. Keep emotions in check. Interpersonal conflicts are not that
straightforward, Byrnes cautions, because theyre usually based on
irrational differences. One worker, for example, may dislike a colleague
because he thinks, feels or acts a certain way. No matter what the reason
behind the disagreement, make it clear that you dont have to like a person
to work with him. As difficult as they may find it, they must learn to keep
their emotions and feelings out of the workplace, Byrnes says.
5. Create common goals. Often, combatantswhether the cause is
structural or interpersonalfail to see the big picture, he says. They
concentrate on their particular jobs, which usually represent only one
process or part of the companys goals. By reiterating the companys goals
and demonstrating how both employees are vital to the companys success,
you might temporarily squelch their anger and create harmonyor at least
coexistence. Then everyone will be able to function effectively on the job.
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#4
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#5
Realize that all brains are not the same. Your bosss frustrating traits
reflect the way his brain operates. He cant impart details because he hasnt
thought of them yet. He cant give facts in an orderly manner because hes
not a structured thinker. For you, however, organizing information is as
natural as breathing.
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10
Ask for what you need. When problems arise, focus on what you require,
not whats wrong with your boss. For example: Ill need a decision on the
format by noon in order to meet the print deadline sounds better than
Have you made a decision yet?
Team up for success. People with dissimilar styles view projects from
different perspectives. Blending these viewpoints frequently produces the
best result.
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11
Maries Answer: Being elevated above your peers is seldom easy, but these backstabbing co-workers sound particularly tough. So you need both a transition plan
and some self-examination.
Ask your manager to reintroduce you to the group as a supervisor
when the promotion becomes official, explaining your responsibilities and
the reasons for your selection. After acknowledging that this change will be
an adjustment, he should stress that he expects everyone to be helpful and
supportive.
Rehashing the past would be counterproductive, since you want to start
this new job on a positive note. But if the juvenile behavior resurfaces,
immediately talk with your manager about how to handle it.
Stop and take a long, hard look in the mirror. For some reason, these coworkers dont want to work for you, so you should ask yourself why. Dont
just dismiss their reaction as jealousy.
Recognize the importance of relationships, even if you dont go to work
to make friends. Otherwise, youll have a rough time as a manager.
Management is not about friendship, but it is about inspiring and
motivating your employees.
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12
No one is fully prepared for the challenges of their first supervisory role. But your
learning curve will be much easier if your new staff is pulling for you, not against
you.
#8
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had already discussed the situation with Angela, he became very irritated. My
talking to her really bothered him. Should I have handled this situation differently?
What should I do now?
Appalled Worker
Maries Answer: Your managers physical confrontation with Angela was
appalling and also illegal, since he could be charged with battery for such
uninvited touching. Now what?
Your boss should be ashamed of himself for losing control. That may
explain why hes upset that you discussed his outburst with Angela.
Giving honest feedback to a manager takes courage, so congratulations
to you for calling him on his offensive and immature behavior. If your
comments help to curb his impulsive reactions in the future, then you will
have done him a big favor.
Grabbing an employee is so out of line that someone really needs to know
about it. This guy could easily create legal liability for the company. So if
you have a trustworthy human resources manager, consider having a
confidential talk with that person.
As for your boss, you dont need to say anything further to him. Odds are
that hes more upset with himself than with you. And he now knows that
someone is watching his behavior.
When the boss blames all workersguilty and innocent
Q: Whenever our boss is upset, he calls a group meeting and administers a general
scolding. Since he is never specific, we are all left wondering who screwed up. To me, this
approach seems immature and unproductive. If I make a mistake, I would rather be chewed
out privately, not included in a public lecture that makes everyone feel bad. Our managers
collective reprimands have sunk morale into a black hole.
Blamed for Nothing
Maries Answer: Chastising an entire group for an individual performance issue is worse
than a waste of time and demoralizes all. Its like lecturing everyone on punctuality because
one person is chronically tardy. Nevertheless, some cowardly managers use this tactic to
avoid uncomfortable one-on-one discussions. They fail to realize that the problem employee
is invariably the one person who doesnt get the message. Try this:
If your boss is open to feedback, try asking for a more personalized approach. For
example: When youre upset with us, sometimes were not sure who actually made the
error. If you could tell us about our individual mistakes privately, it would be easier to
prevent them in the future.
But if the direct approach seems too risky, just check with him after each tirade to find
out if youre part of the problem.
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