•

"Paul Beatty's a poet for us kids who grew up

Saturday morning cartoons, video games, and

and have a jumble of media bites rattling in 0

brain cages.... Beatty parts the curtain of rei

respectable poetry, revealing an image world

astrally projected on a hip hop reality trip ...

Beatty piles wordplay upon wordplay in a

hyperstack of meaning, making him one of th

smartest young poets around."

---fvelyn McDonnell, The Vii. Voice

"Peuf 8IItty is one of the most exciting new

I-c- to come aIonI in I !onI, Ion& time.

\_fI"
II 1nCf .. ....., cadences, rhythm
'II . . extrIordirwy. Up-to-date,
~ . . . . . . . . . ....,. Md I deft neoIaIiIt.
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.... . dllItIll.1I .., . . , . just I hip

;_ ....
. . . . I, • . .. . . . .,... til ftjp hap

...•_ b.~ ••• _ .....

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"

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~ f'U!U' 'I' ; .
(CUD)
f5 PENGUIN BOOKS
Published by the Penguin Group
"'Zcc2
....)-"";
Penguin Books USA lnc., 375 Hudson Street,
New York, New York 10014, U.S.A.
r
riC, Penguin Books Ltd, 27 Wrights Lane,

-'
• - I London W8 5TZ, England
Penguin Books Australia Ltd, Ringwood,
) (;5 Victoria, Australia
Penguin Books Canada Ltd, 10 Alcorn Avenue, ~',
I
J t
'-I c,
I
1.1 Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4V 3B2 :~
This book is dedicated to my families, both biological:

Penguin Books (N.Z.) Ltd, 182-190 Wairau Road, , Ma, Anna, Sharon, Grandma, Ainka;

c;'
Auckland 10, New Zealand
and extended:

Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices:

Harrnondsworth, Middlesex, England the Chacons, the Keatons, the 46 Crew, and Toi Russell.

First published in Penguin Books 1994 Later.

3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2
Copyright © Paul Beatty, 1994
All rights reserved
Some of the poems in this book previously appeared in AGNI, Eyeball, Gatheringof the
Tribes, Longshot, The Portable Lower Eastside, Slam Poetry, the St. Marks Poetry Anthol­
ogy, and West Coast Line.
Grateful acknowledgment is made for permission to reprint excerpts from the following
copyrighted works:
"It Takes Two" by R. Ginyard. © 1988 Protoons, Inc./Hikim Music/ASCAP. Used
by permission.
"Float On," words and music by Arnold Ingram, James Mitchell Jr. and Marvin Willis.
© Copyright 1977 by Duchess Music Corporation. All rights controlled and administered
by MCA Music Publishing, a division of MCA Inc., New York, NY 10019. Used by
permission. All rights reserved.
"I Feel the Earth Move" by Carole King. © 1971 Colgems-EMI Music Inc. All rights
reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission.
"Felix the Wonderful Cat" by Winston Sharples. Copyright © 1958 and 1961 by
Famous Music Corporation.
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING IN PUBLICATION DATA

Beatty, Paul.

Joker, joker, deuce / Paul Beatty.

p. em.
ISBN 0 1405.8723 3
I. Title.
PS3552.E19J65 1994
811'.54-dc20 93-31264
Printed in the United States of America

Set in Electra

Designed by Katy Riegel

Except in the United States of America, this book is sold subject to the condition that
it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, re-sold, hired out, or otherwise circu­
lated without the publisher's prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than
that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition
being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

rAVIIII .....m .rrv I ..... _ _•

 CONTENTS

, I

At Ease

Why That Abbott and Costello Vaudeville Mess Never

Worked with Black People 10

That's Not in My Job Description 11

Dib Dab 18

Annotation of a Funky Breakdown 21

i,~

,\ ;I
. 1

"j

I
I

~ No Tag Backs

Sitting on Other People's Cars

Verbal Mugging
22

34

36

I
'I
.. About the Author 40

f1 Quote Unquote 59

I
j • Tap Tap on Africa 60

I
Desert Boots 66

:j
• Daryl Patterson and Bugs Bunny's Black Nationalist

Cheerleading Camp 69

What a Pity, What a Shame 70

Two Pink Dots? You Positive? 71

Mickey Mouse Build a House 78 ,:JJ

1
'1"
Independent Study 79 Jf'

~,
Big Bowls of Cereal 83
Stall Me Out 108
JOKER, JOKER, DEUCE
About the Author one night after a small group
grad school seminar
on the process of change and power
to me it used to sound so trite i went to a boston beat the clock hal?.PY hour
to carryon
how some it was
corny cockamamie sign from the almighty tic toe and you dont stop
had changed your life drinkin vodka shots brain erasers dime beer chasers

i used to be a little pyromaniac heathen left wasted buzzed bent and fuzzy faced

right before people got out of the revival meetin didnt know who i was
i would soak a bush with lighter fluid but it was my world
climb up a nearby tree walkin the streets
and right when they walked underneath whistlin neil sedakas calendar girl
i would toss a match into the greenery and set the bush on fire
but it was that brandy
using the ventriloquist techniques made me start to twirl
i acquired by back of the comic book mail order act all narnby pamby
i'd throw my voice next thing i know im barry manilow singin mandy

"this is god ... quit your job and kill your kids you sinner you" you came and you gave
without takin'
sometimes i would bring an eye dropper full of water to the swap meet but i sent you away

when no one was lookin sounded so sappy

i would made myself lovesick
go by the table of porcelain virgin mary figurines why inuh fuck do i stick loneliness down my own throat
and squirt water on their faces to make it look like they was cryin when i know i dont have the sea legs for the love boat
and without fail someone from pomona would notice
drop to their knees screamin "hail mary full of grace" out of dramamine
listing to one side
i was in therapy for two weeks behind that shit addicted to tv and bitters
i docked my sinkin ship in front of the art house
but you never really know shouted isaac the bartender is my pusherman
how some stupid shit will change your life
it was a dumb 01 movie poster that helped set my shit right and threw up on the coming attraction ad

40 41
apologized to the cast and we the macho male persona non grata
a polite excuse me my bad
to the black actress bided our time till opening night
1:- 1
and the three brothers that was rushin her by cuttin each others crops
buggin that the struggle takes so long to rectify
wait these is negroes

what? no truffaut?
four hundred some odd years of playin mother may i
hell they only played the crusades for uh hundred and ninety five
with a torn sheet of the globe
i cleaned my mess off the window ,
how you want it?
I medium long on top round off the bottom
didnt todays horoscope ¥I
say if i hear one more motherfucker say or-gan-ize
if i had a dime
mars is in the house let me put a part on the side
and niggas like us
are on the cusp of being in vogue its nigger night at this spot called the nine and on the one n two
we bout to get over '. is d] mike the Quantum mechanic from cleveland
he likes to stop the music and the lights
ever grow just instantly sober? !
I
yell-wHOLE HOUSE FREEZE-into the mike
'II and on cue in the middle of your move
that night in front of the nickelodeon theater you have to stop what you doin
i stopped waiting for godot '. sometimes you look stupid sometimes you look cool
cant hear nothin but fools breathin
wiped my mouth and severed the spittle rope thinkin about what they goin to do next
i left tied to a reeking pool of liquefied for a splitsec you really notice the sweat
burger king whopper with cheese no pickles and no sense of purpose
on the same old folks
looked like things was going to be different soaked from fightin ghosts in a strobe light
luckys no longer yoked to pozzo
we'd leave with our ears ringin

me and the crew wuz always talking about change eatin greasy pizza

bout revolution and maybe this movie she's gotta have it talkin in speeches

would be in the tradition of pepperoni? dont you know pepperoni is a hermeneutical hegemony
jomo kenyatta or sugar ray whippin jake lamotta of hogwash

42 43
 a major cog in the plot to triangulate an outbreak of trichinosis only need one ticket

an attempt to whereas inflict porkitis on the minds and bloodlines for six niggas in spirit

of the black man and wo-man

huddled around the back door kickin it

thereby and thusly bringing us down to a pig styical

in anticipation of free admission

socialization process of otherwise porcine consumer bovinity

one of us
just kidding i wont say who
was carrying on how the african was never gonna rule
but everything we did was nigga quid pro quo cause brothers be dickin each other
if you brought up sigmund freud or hegel not patronizing the arts
you had to counterbalance the eurolabel with dubois
'1'
without sayin how much him and freud looked alike i- but we wuz ooocooooooc
(I 0000000000
sat up long nights analyzing the psycho I 0000000000
laid back on a found couch 0000000000
detailing our dreams oooooooooooooor wid 54 o'e
redefining the archetypes to our citified lives
passing the peace pipe
if we had the cash the dough we'd buy black
sharing secrets
least this way we dont pay no sales tax
so we told him to kiss our butts and cut the crap
promise you wont tell?

my favorite writer is white popped the metal latch

and crashed the rat race

the GI doughboy who marched across

the western hemisphere taggin walls and bridges carl lewis may set the pace
with kilroy was here stayin in his lane
wavin' the flag for the usa
i never could figure
if in the heat of battle his bubbleheaded image but lotsa niggas run unattached
was looking over the lip of life or hanging on the edge of a cliff makin up the staggered start
by sneaking into theaters
guess it doesnt matter which cuz the message was hang in that shit
swaggerin under the cover of the show is startin darkness
hey its time to split and catch this flick
the glow of exit signs infrared haze and the
not going to be any hidden meanings in this motherfucker is it?
isnt that just typical gaze of liberal boston brahmin

44 45
hey if you cant stand the immigrant niggers
practicin the socratic method
~
the little niggers have found sounder
there comes a time when a dog
gnaws the hand that feeds it
by talkin to the screen with their feet on the seats
and contrary to logic
in the athens of the new world r
thereis-also an obedience
school of thought
then put an arm around your lover a leftover hogmaw
watch your back keep an eye on your alpaca knit sweaters and mittens dinner table grandpa dogma
that colored people should play dumb
cuz we're the fuckers born every minute to get what they want
and the pt barnum egress is over there playing dumb
is a lot like playing dead
having said that we tucked ourselves into a place
where the times wuz changing theres a list of stupid nigger tricks
you can use to get your wish
in dylanesque
first or surname retrospect
it was kinda like walkin into a room go to the hospital lick your wounds in the emergency room and sit
play sports and sic
seeing someone

getting dressed or undressed

need a gig roll over fetch stand on your hind legs and beg
for the first time and not have to say excuse me

maybe this is why whenever i shake a white cats hand

i feel like im giving paw
popcorn n gummy bears bon-bons
taste testin the new wine coolers
nobody had to offer spike a raw piece of meat to get him to speak
this movie was on
high fivin across the aisles
and with the bark of the male dogs in the first scene
at stereotypes we didnt mind
he walked through the hollywood doggie door
past the newspaper in the kitchen
it was the first time i had ever experienced cinematic uplift and took a nasty brooklyn shit
in the middle of the dining room floor
panty man . . . fake billy dee williams mothetfucker ...
i bought you kids this dog and you promised to take care of it

we left the theater pumped as the new born pups

that disjointed spike lee joint

that bounced around that blond kids head in that soda commercial

pushed me to write
cept that this blond kid was now inspiration

sometimes you need an open palmed dig'em smack

and we teethed on it

~
on the back of your neck to get you up off your ass
singin fifty dollar sneakers and i gots no job

46 47
 when the pen hits the paper i can see it now organ music a choir
he'd be wearing red white and blue gym shoes sayin ...
went to see it a second time
with kiphanie lynn tia and nik this is mlk
when im marchin on washington yes lord
and over sunday brunch coolin my heels in a birmingham jail
eggs mixed with hash and the last two slabs of bacon backpedalin in memphis mmmmm hmmmm
we tried to redefine the swine runnin from german shepherds in selma
cheatin on my wife in hattiesburg yes suh
they said
i thank god i wear air integrationists crossover trainers by nike
good thing spike wuddent naked
i dont think i coulda taken it
the movie wasnt about dogs
but niggas as pigs
,F
,.)

Ii
,i

hallelujah

heroes fall down and go boom

he rapes her and she tries
to go back with his sorry ass J
sittin in the living room

you hip to julie dash who

I
watchin spike run the bulls in pamplona
usin his smushed in butt to sell levis
a handkerchief wrapped around his head
i guess forty acres and a mule is a poor folks II

1;.·.

:!~
1.

yo your boy ... the black cecil b. de millionaire has gone commercial
start to a revolution II:
~I
1;.

i try not to put the cart before the horse ~­

},
no he hasnt
my mother used to have to withhold my allowance
just to get me to mow the lawn
i see his runnin from the bulls
in the streets of formerly fascist spain
much less plow some fields is a visual metaphor for the civil rights era
its symbolic of the masses running from sheriff bull connor
but everybodys talkin' bout a revolution
including four fab white guys you get it? bulls bull connor?
in skinny ties
whose music nike used to sell tennis shoes pre-spike just cause spike sells the white mans tennies
and runs around europe like a little rascal king of show biz
just do it
dont mean he dont know who he is
you mean do it to it no no that wont fly in iowa

if only martin luther king was still alive

whos that?

48 49
 that's buckwheat he told me about the day his girlfriend
he owns a mansion and a yacht asked him the same thing
and makes hundreds of thousands of dollars and he drew a cartoon of a little man
walking out of a big 01 suit of armor and said thats me
learn that poem

learn that poem

my niggas deep
big barry manilow fan
in the age of celluloid soul
the revolution moves at 24 frames per second
i write the songs that make the young girls cry
thats too goddamn slow
i write the songs, i write the songs

for the folks I?:'

at black literary events

kintecloth and dreadlocks
harvard yardies parked in circles drinking fruit juice
r.~
i imagine the poet at home
writing real fast
her pen circling all the revolutionary bases

listening to the angry young atomless black woman poet

t (1
with the furious zeal of a ball point babe ruth

in an old 1920s news reel hittin home runs tippin her cap to no one
smash adjectives ,I
t sometimes the revolution revolutionizes itself
reading fantastic action-packed stanzas 'f(
.,j;
and you dont get what you expect
on how one day 1
we will be the people we usta be shut off the tv and went to see angela davis speak
the people we're supposed to be niggas was geeked expecting to see the famed afro of death
the people we really are
a medusa redbone natural the circumference of the sun
youre either mau-mau or coward
filled with grenades and guns
there is no middle ground

,t rising burn baby burn

'r' !
l' over the horizon of the lectern
i looked over at my partner 1i !
and asked him who are you
and then she entered stage right

with an alternative hairstyle

he opened his mouth

and before a sound came out i cut him off thickassed light brown dreadlocks

no who are you really humbolt county bud looking

50 51
twisted clumps of hair we figured going to hear this established poet

oozin from her skull might promote our hair growth

she looked so tranquil

a poet whose description under his picture read
everybody looked at each other all quiet

and we thought to ourselves oh fuck the revolutions dead

the author is a demolitions expert an accomplished marksman
philosopher
black belt voodoo witch doctor lobbyist who lives in a thatch hut in
i wanted to pour off the top of my heart in the gutter

rwanda
and say this is for the motherfuckahs who aint here

and is at present trying to get congress to pass the james bond act
and who stopped me on the street the day after askin

law that permits black people to drink martinis with a straight face
and to kill white folks with impunity
what angela say about fannie lou mary mccleod bethune?
I
what angela say about the revolution?
-I with his revolutionary tomes

what she say about women racism and class?

in her purse

folded in my back pocket

she said what she said what did you hear she said I
we sat and listened in a white church
i heard she said some things she didnt have to say
but this poet had on a pressed starched collared shirt
that's right she said some things she didnt have to say i kept looking back at his picture

and she'll say urn again you know what i mean is cuz the same motherfucker

if she has to say urn you know what I mean is this the same nigga

he was missing
that next day
his mutton chop hate whitey side burns
i twisted my school of engineering corporate afro
and read long monotone poems that was all right
into little starter dreads
but they were about elephants in his bedroom
my head was a roosevelt WPA replanted forest in the great northwest .~ i and how he was tryin to get in touch
~:
with his lithuanian roots
me and angry sister x 11
• I

would read our poems over breakfast twice i saw a white rabbit

they were fresh stick its head out his left blazer pocket

smelt of incense and just crushed hummus noticed he had a habit of rubbing

the office boy leather patches on his tweed jacket

garbanzo beans are the seeds of freedom whenever he told one of his

i couldnt wait till my dreads tickled the tips of my ears intermittent drab adages about where he taught at

52 53
after we left we realized he never said black not once we used to come home on college vacations
maybe we'd missed something pissed n miffed at the system
okey doke nigga aint said shit
white folks laughed at his jokes open the fridge
but i wasnt eatin granola i was lookin for smoke
there aint no kool-aid
i want to see some dead blue eyed hoogies or im goin home see mom how fucked up shit is

who turned the magic fire hose on his dashiki thats when sylvester come home
and turned it into one of them
fresh out his yellow construction foreman pick-up truck
irish spring soap commercial prep school sweaters he'd dust the country music off his dungarees
·ii I
1': I
Ii reshape the chicago in his afro

,
I
bell bottoms to pleated chino khakis
platforms to hush puppies
look at the anger in our teary visined eyes
t: smell the hurt on our beer drenched breath
fuck the elephants graveyard i~ "
and say
i want to know where does the revolutionary spirit go to die

i want to be one of those withstand any torture tippy top secret solo
jujitsu take two double cyanide suicide tablets revolutionary agents you
can skin me with that rusty bic disposable shaver but i aint gon say shit
r1
~
"f-
revolutionary thrills
without revolutionary skills
will get you killed
hope-to-die negro poets '~1
J,'
(,
.; the mud on my shoes
hell bent on revenge
';;;
the arthritis in your mothers fingers
that force feeds dagwood bumstead triple decker rye bread 1000 hours of cosmetology school­
kill the peckerhead sandwiches to those starved for the payback hair weaves jheri curls and cold waves
nigga dont you see self hatred paid for your education
and the crowd be eatin all that shit up too
but i bring my own lunch in a brown paper bag looks like we made it
liverwurst and mustard doritos hostess cupcakes left each other on the way to another love
looks like we made it
my mouth full yellin
yo wait up im fixin to get with this revolution you have the barry manilow live on broadway album
but i got crazy indigestion yo thats the jam the gonzo hits medley is dope

plop plop fizz fizz so what revolutionary classes you take this semester

oh what a revolution this is karate? no

54
55
riflery? nope stick figures with machine guns
introduction to molotov cocktails zip guns and other easy to assemble fightin it out till the recess bell rung
weaponry for the do-it-yourself rebel? no and i realize that no one ever won
so i write paper airplane bombs
what classes did you have
i took gemstones for kids on mall reconnaissance
shootin spit balls at people they dont know
how you gonna kill the enemy
by blinding em you suck brssszzzzzz errrrrunnnnggg boom!
with the luster of the onyx and gold in your class ring im down with this and oh yessss im definitely with that
that sheepskin you want so bad bidduddududd blam!
aint nothin but south african pass
that lets you in and out of they world and i got james taylor art garfunkel and paul simon
lets them know you harmless brainwashed and can roll your r's on in the background
rrrrrrrrevoluuution singin
dont know nothin bout history
got mad ran to my room no who
punched my stuffed bert and ernie dolls in the nose who are you really
and turned on the late night news
little kids throwing rocks at tanks im so confused

guess i'll never be warrior stock

i've only thrown rocks at the windows
l i dont know shit from shinola
dont know the shah from the ayatollah
in the abandoned houses on my block dont know coke from pepsi cola
and at the heads of my best friends
i revolution
dont know how to fight so i write shhh the revolution is fought when your lover
in elementary school i used to draw a small hill is at the door
in each corner of the bottom of the page on the way out
then a big hill in the middle
stick figures with machine guns gives you a kiss and a side order of hips
I
i was real good at makin explosions
-I wiggle and swivel
and you cant come with it
I
guys would come up to me look over my shoulder
and say thats baaad explosion bodys stiff
emotional overload
thanks dude playin ditch with the process of change

56 57
the little rascal submits Quote Unquote
learn that poem learn that poem
i am telling you white people ...
bill are you ready to recite the piece are evil

tears streaming down my face how can you say that

i say yes teacher your own mother is white

way upon a hill then dont you think

i spy a little daffodil i should know

what im talking about

$1

\I
't~ I

I
\

58 59