D e s c r i p t i v e & R e c o u n t W r i t i n g

Descriptive Writing
Most forms of writing involve description. For example, in a Short Story characters and
places need to e made real for the reader and clever description helps achieve this. !n
personal writing you create the effect you want y describing events, feelings and
atmosphere.
Describing a Piece of Text
!n the Standard "rade Writing #xam some options use the word "describe" as the main
instruction word. For example here is a $uestion from the %&&' S() paper*
Describe your special place and try to explain why it is special to you.
Some options in the exam give you the chance to concentrate on description and do a piece
of Atmospheric Writing. For example, here is a $uestion from the %&&+ S() paper*
,hoose one of the following and descrie the scene which rings to mind - ... the
.arours, Without a oat, the Fro/en Minds without a Song. 01orman Mac,aig2
or
For winter3s rains and suns are over, )nd all the season of snow and sins, )nd in the
green under wood and cover 4lossom y lossom the spring egins. 0)lgernon
Swinurne2
or
"ive me the splendid sun With all his eams full da//ling. 0Walt Whitman2
or
,oldly, sadly descends the autumn evening. 0Matthew )rnold2
) $uestion li5e this wants you to describe the particular feeling or scene in nature which
these lines suggest to you. 6his Revision ite will show you how to include more and etter
description in your writing. We3ve pic5ed out some ideas and s5ills for you to thin5 aout
which will help you improve the $uality of description in you writing.
Word Choice
7ne thing you want to avoid is writing which is dull and flat. 7ne way to do this is to
choose interesting words.
6ry to avoid la/y words - these often come into your head first and we choose them
ecause we can3t e othered to thin5 of others. Nice and really are two of the worst.
6ry to e as specific as you can in your word choice especially 8ers and )d9ectives.
So, "We had a really nice dinner" could ecome, "We enjoyed a tasty meal"
.ave a loo5 at these examples and see if you can spot which versions give the est
description -
The street was empty and full of shadows.
The street lay empty, full of shadows.
The children had a great time at the circus.
The children shared a thrilling night at the circus.
Variety maes writing interesting ! no!one wants to read the same words o"er and o"er
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again. #djecti"es can help with description but so too can careful "erb choice.
Observation
6o write effective descriptions you have to oserve things around you and rememer them so
you can see them in your mind. )lways try to experience the whole picture in your mind
using all your senses, what you can -
see
hear
smell
feel
taste
:ou don3t experience the world 9ust through your sight, why should your reader;
#ven when descriing a totally made-up setting or type of character such as an alien or
fantasy monster you need to ase your description on recognisale terms. .ave a loo5 at the
following extract and see if you can pic5 out which senses are used to descrie the scene*
"$e waled into the classroom and crossed to his des. The floor was worn where years of
boys had iced and scuffed in their rush to escape. # damp, sicly!sweet aroma arose from
the pile of jacets crushed in one corner and a blind tap, tapped against the window where a
stone or ball had craced the glass. %r &ones rubbed his hands across the smooth polished
top and examined his finger tips for dust."
Don't rush your description, tae time to use all you senses and let your reader "see" the
whole scene.
Describing Scenes
"ood description should ma5e a scene vivid to the reader. 6hat means it should e
clear and strong and, of course, elievale.
Scenes can e real - you are rememering a place, an event, or imaginary - you are
writing a story and creating a setting.
Description might involve time and place, a par5 at night re$uires a completely
different description from during a usy day.
.ow much description you put in depends on the <urpose of your writing. !f you want
to set a scene for a story you will need less than if you are opting for descriptive
essay.
:ou must not e tempted to put in too much unnecessary description ut select details which
are needed to create the impression you want your reader to have. Don3t focus on something
unless it is needed for plot, or to create a mood, or to capture atmosphere.
=oo5 at these two descriptions of a room*
"The room was s(uare with a window along one side. )t had four chairs and a TV and
"ideo. There was a drins cabinet and computer in the corner. The carpet was red
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and the ceiling cream."
"The room was brightly lit by a large window and housed se"eral modern pieces of
electrical e(uipment but the effect was softened by a drins cabinet and a warm red
carpet."
6he first is a it li5e a list isn3t it; !t tries to give us every piece of information even though
they will proaly not e needed again in the story.
6he second is a it etter ecause it tries to give an overall impression of the room and also
manages to hint at the character ehind it - that is someone who li5es technology ut wants to
e comfortale too.
7ften descriing a scene can e used to help portray the mood of a character, li5e in the
following example.
>) wet, dull day greeted Mary as she stepped into the grey light. Men huddled y in
dra wet coats or stood in dismal doorways waiting for a us which never seemed to
arrive.>
What sort of a mood do you thin5 Mary is in;
1ow have a go at descriing a scene which would match Mary on a happy day.
Describing People
Whether descriing a real person for your reader or creating characters they must e
elievale.
6ry to imagine that all people you descrie, oth real and made-up, have a full life, a
history, a ac5ground ut you only select what is needed for your writing.
)s you write always as5 yourself, Is this the sort of thing this person wold sa!" or
do" or thin#"
Rememer people have appearance and personality. !t is personality which is more
important for your readers though you can use their appearance to ma5e a point aout
their personality.
)s with descriing scenes, avoid a list-li5e approach and rememer you don3t have to
descrie everything from the top of a person3s head to their toes.
=oo5 at the following two descriptions -
"%ary had blonde shoulder length hair and blue eyes. *he wore a gold chain and a
tight blue dress. *he had blue leather shoes and carried a brief case."
"%ary was smart and efficient in a stylish way."
Which is better+ Why+
7viously the second one encourages the reader3s imagination y creating an image - an idea
rather than a flat picture.
!t is important to rememer to change the focs of your description. For example, instead of
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descriing the whole picture you can concentrate on a person3s face or movement or voice
etc. ,ircumstances can change a person3s eyes, or their mouth or even the way they hold their
head. For example ?
"%ary's eyes widened and sparled as she read the news, her mouth slowly turned
upwards."
"%ary's eyes darted from side to side. *he moistened her lips and swallowed hard."
What sort of an emotion is Mary experiencing in each $uotation;
)nother important point aout descriing people and their actions is to rememer you
have control over how the reader sees them. =oo5 at these descriptions ?
",aul was tall and slim and waled effortlessly across the room."
",aul was lany and sinny and strode ungainly across the room."
Which <aul do you prefer; 6he first description uses flattering words, the second negative
words ut it could e the same <aul.
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$econts
Introduction
Recounts are a way of retelling an important event or descriing an experience that you have
had to others, such as a school trip or a funny story. 6his section includes*
First <erson
<ast 6ense
,hronological 7rder
Writing a Recount
%irst Person
When you write in the %st person, you put yourself inside the writing y descriing how you
felt and what you were doing.
!f you were writing aout your first day at a new school, you might put* '#s the door opened
to my new classroom ) felt sic to my stomach. ) waled in and saw thirty children's faces just
staring at me. ) wanted to run home'.
Writing in the %
st
person is different to writing in the @rd person ecause you are writing
aout yourself and not aout someone else, li5e a character that you have made up.
Past Tense
Recounts are written in the past tense ecause you are writing aout something that has
already happened. =ots of vers change when you write them in the past tense. )dding 3ed3 to
the end of many vers ma5es them past tense. !n others, 9ust a few vowels in the ver change.
For example* ') placed the ball on the penalty spot and too a deep breath. #s ) waled bac
to edge of the box and turned around, ) could see that the goaleeper looed ner"ous. ) new
this was my last chance to score before the final whistle blew.'
Chronological Order
Recounts are usually written in the order in which they happened. 6his is called
chronological order.
6o do this you will have to use time connectives such as*
-irstly
Next
Then
#fter that
%eanwhile
."entually
/ater
-inally
When you are planning your recount, thin5 aout the important and interesting parts of your
experience.
1ext you will need to thin5 aout when they happened, who else was involved, where you
were and why you felt li5e you did.
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1ow you can start to plan out your eginning, middle and end, deciding on the types of
connectives, past tense vers and pronouns you are going to use.
Writing a $econt
Prpose& Recounts can really help people to imagine what an experience was li5e, so use lots
of descriptive words and phrases to ma5e it seem li5e your reader is there with you.
Paragraphs& 4rea5 up your recount into paragraphs. 6his ma5es it easier to add in all of the
est its and to put them into chronological order. Ase time connectives to introduce each
section.
St!le& Recounts are written in the %
st
person, the past tense and in chronological order, using
pronouns such as 3!3 and 3we3. 6ry to help the reader to imagine how you felt y exaggerating
your emotions and using ama/ing ad9ectives.
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