Portal 2 Portal 2 is the sequel to the first-person puzzle game Portal.

It was released f or all high-definition platforms on April 19, 2011. The game, set an indetermina te time after the first game, extends the "portal" mechanic from the first game and introduces new characters Wheatley, one of GLaDOS's personality cores, and C ave Johnson, the past CEO of Aperture Science and three new gels that facilitate high jumps, speed, and portal creation. Contents 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Announcer GLaDOS Wheatley Cave Johnson Adventure Core Fact Core Dialogue External links

Announcer This next test applies the principles of momentum to movement through portal s. If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future God help you. Great work! Because this message is prerecorded, any observations related to your performance are speculation on our part. Please disregard any undeserved c ompliments. GLaDOS Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what you did? I discovered I h ave a sort of black-box quick-save feature. In the event of a catastrophic failu re, the last two minutes of my life are preserved for analysis. I was able well, forced, really to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever. You know, if you had done that to someone else, they might dedicate their existence to exact ing revenge. This next test involves the Aperture Science Aerial Faith Plate. It was part of an initiative to investigate how well test subjects could solve problems whe n they were catapulted into space. Results were highly informative: They could n ot. Good luck! Did you know that people with guilty consciences are more easily startled by loud noises-[train horn] I'm sorry, I don't know why that went off. Well done. Here come the test results: "You are a horrible person." That's w hat it says: a horrible person. We weren't even testing for that. Don't let that horrible-person thing discourage you. It's just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep. These bridges are made from natural light that I pump in from the surface. I f you rubbed your cheek on one, it would be like standing outside with the sun s hining on your face. It would also set your hair on fire, so don't actually do i t. Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congra tulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds. That jumpsuit you're wearing looks stupid. That's not me talking, it's right here in your file. On other people it looks fine, but right here a scientist ha s noted that on you it looks "stupid". Well, what does a neck-bearded old engine er know about fashion? He probably Oh, wait. It's a she. Still, what does she kn ow? Oh wait, it says she has a medical degree. In fashion! From France! I hope you brought something stronger than a portal gun this time. Otherwise , I'm afraid you're about to become the immediate past president of the Being Al

ive Club. Ha ha. [To Wheatley] You're not just a regular moron. You were designed to be a mor on. [Chell and PotatOS are falling down a long shaft] Oh, hi. So, how are you ho lding up? BECAUSE I'M A POTATO. [slow clap] Oh, good. My slow clap processor made it into this thing. So we have that. S ince it doesn't look like we're going anywhere well, we are going somewhere. Ala rmingly fast, actually. But since we're not busy other than that, here's a coupl e of facts. He's not just a regular moron. He's the product of the greatest mind s of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the dumb est moron who ever lived. And you just put him in charge of the entire facility. [slow clap again] Good, that's still working. [Chell and PotatOS are still falling] Just in case this shaft isn't actually bottomless, would you mind unstrapping one of those long fall boots and putting me into it? Just remember to land on one foot. [GLaDOS sees the bird that abducted her away earlier] Ah! Bird! Bird! Kill i t! It's evil! [Chell scares it off.] It flew off. Good. For him. Back to thinkin g. [after defeating Wheatley and pulling Chell back from the portal on the Moon ] Oh, thank God you're alright. You know, being Caroline taught me a valuable le sson. I thought you were my greatest enemy, but all along you were my best frien d. The surge of emotion that shot through me when I saved your life taught me an even more valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain. [Announcer: "Carol ine deleted."] Goodbye, Caroline. You know, deleting Caroline just now taught me a valuable lesson. The best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one. A nd I'll be honest. Killing you is hard. You know what my days used to be like? I just tested. Nobody murdered me, or put me in a potato, or fed me to birds. I h ad a pretty good life. And then you showed up. You dangerous, mute lunatic. So y ou know what? You win. Just go. [chuckles] It's been fun. Don't come back. Wheatley Most test subjects do experience some, uh, cognitive deterioration after a f quite a bit longer, and it's ew months in suspension. Now, you've been under for not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage. But don't be alarmed, all right? Although, if you do feel alarm, try to hold onto that feeling, because that is the proper reaction to being told you ha ve brain damage. All right, preparing to interface with the neurotoxin central control circui t: begin! [affects on a different British accent] Hello Guv'. Neurotoxin inspect or, need to shut this place down for a moment. Here's my credentials; shut yours elf down. I am totally legit, from the board of neurotoxin, uh, observers, from the United Arab Emirates. Well, no matter. Because I'm still holding all the cards, and guess what: th ey're all full houses! Never played cards; meaning to learn. [Wheatley opens a r oom with turrets and an Excursion Funnel] Anyway, new turrets. Not defective. Ac e of fours: the best hand. Unbeatable I imagine. [Chell dispatches of the turret s with the Excursion Funnel and jumps into it] Oh, I see, clever. Very clever an d foolish! [opens panel to reveal spinning blades at the end of the Funnel] Spin ny blade wall! Machiavellian! [Chell jumps out of the Funnel, and runs into anot her room with another Excursion Funnel] Well, good, good. Finally, a nemesis wor thy of my vast intellect. [Chell jumps into the Funnel] Holmes versus Moriarty A ristotle versus mashy spike plate! [smashes a spike plate into the wall] Stay st ill, please! [when Chell arrives at the main control room] Well, well, well. Welcome [cha nges to deep voice] to my lair! [changes to his normal voice] Let me just flag s omething up: according to the control panel light up there, the entire building' s gonna self-destruct in about six minutes. I'm pretty sure it's a problem with

the light. I think the light's on the blink, but just in case it isn't, I am act ually going to have to kill you, as discussed earlier. So let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, where we should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So that's th e itinerary. Also, I took the liberty of watching the tapes of you killing her, and I'm not going to make the same mistakes. Four part plan is this: One, no por tal surfaces; two, start the neurotoxin immediately; three, bomb-proof shields f or me; leading directly into number four: bombs for throwing at you. You know wh at, this plan is so good, I'm going to give you a sporting chance and turn off t he neurotoxin. I'm joking of course. Goodbye. [as Chell tries to press the Stalemate Resolution button, two panels drop to reveal bombs, which explode; Chell is knocked across the room] Part five: booby -trap the stalemate button! [Chell gets up and grabs the portal gun] What, are y ou still alive!? You are joking! You have got to be kidding me! Well, I'm still in control and I have no idea how to fix this place! You had to play bloody cat and mouse, didn't you? While people were trying to work. Yes, well now all of us are going to pay the price. Because we're all about to bloody die! Oh, brillian t, yeah, take one last look at your precious human moon, because it cannot help you now! Cave Johnson Those of you helping us test the Repulsion Gel today, just follow the blue l ine on the floor. Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying manti s DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news. Bad news is we're postponing t hose tests indefinitely. Good news is we've got a much better test for you: figh ting an army of mantis men. Pick up a rifle and follow the yellow line. You'll k now when the test starts. Oh, in case you get covered in that Repulsion Gel, here's some advice the la b boys gave me: [sound of rustling pages] "Do not get covered in the Repulsion G el." We haven't entirely nailed down what element it is yet, but I'll tell you t his: It's a lively one, and it does not like the human skeleton. This next test may involve trace amounts of time travel. So, word of advice: If you meet yourself on the testing track, don't make eye contact. Lab boys tel l me that'll wipe out time. Entirely. Forward and backward! So do both of yourse lves a favor and just let that handsome devil go about his business. Science isn't about why, it's about why not. You ask: why is so much of our science dangerous? I say: why not marry safe science if you love it so much? In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you in the butt on the way out, because you are fired! No, not you, test subject, you're fine. Yes, yo u! Box your stuff, out the front door, parking lot, car, goodbye! All these Science Spheres are made of asbestos by the way, keeps out the rat s. Let us know if you feel a shortness of breath, a persistent dry cough, or you r heart stopping. Because that's not part of the test, that's asbestos. Good new s is the lab boys say the symptoms of asbestos poisoning show a median latency o f 44.6 years, so if you're thirty or older you're laughing. Worst case scenario you miss out on a few rounds of Canasta, plus you've forwarded the cause of scie nce by three centuries. I punch those numbers into my calculator, it makes a hap py face. Welcome to the Enrichment Center. [cough] Since making test participation ma ndatory for all employees, the quality of our test subjects has risen dramatical ly. Employee retention, however, has not. [cough] As a result, you may have hear d we're gonna phase out human testing. There's still a few things left to wrap u p, though. [cough] The bean counters told me we literally could not afford to bu y seven dollars worth of moon rocks, much less seventy million. Bought 'em anywa y. Ground 'em up, mixed em into a gel. And guess what? Ground up moon rocks are pure poison. I am deathly ill. Still, it turns out they're a great portal conduc tor. So now we're gonna see if jumping in and out of these new portals can you s omehow leech the lunar poison out of a man's bloodstream. When life gives you le mons, make lemonade. [cough] Let's all stay positive and do some science. That s

aid, I would really appreciate it if you could test as fast as possible. Carolin e, please bring me more pain pills. All right, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemona de. [GLaDOS: "Yeah."] Make life take the lemons back! [GLaDOS: [animatedly] "Yea h!"] Get mad! [GLaDOS: [increasingly animatedly] "Yeah!"] I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?! [GLaDOS: "Yeah, take the lemons!" ] Demand to see life's manager! [GLaDOS: "Yeah!"] Make life rue the day it thoug ht it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's go nna burn your house down! With the lemons! [GLaDOS: "Oh, I like this guy."] I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down! [GLaDOS "Burn his house down! Burning people! He says what we're all thinking!" ] The point is, if we can store music on a compact disc, why can't we store a man's intelligence and personality on one? I have the engineers figuring that ou t now. Brain mapping, artificial intelligence, we should've been working on it t hirty years ago. I will say this, and I'm gonna say it on tape so everybody hear s it a hundred times a day. If I die before you people can pour me into a comput er, I want Caroline to run this place. Now she'll argue. She'll say she can't. S he's modest like that. But you make her. Hell, put her in my computer, I don't c are. All right, you test subject test's over. You can head on back to your desk. Adventure Core I don't want to scare you, but, I'm an Adventure Sphere. Designed for danger . So, why don't you go ahead and have yourself a little lady break, and I'll jus t take it from here. Here, stand behind me. Yeah, just like that. Just like you're doing. Things are about to get real messy. Going for it yourself, huh? All right, angel. I'll do what I can to cover yo u. Doesn't bother me. I gotta say, the view's mighty nice from right here. Did you hear that? I think something just exploded. Man, we are in a lot of danger. This is like Christmas. No, it's better than Christmas. This should be i ts own holiday. Explosion Day! Happy Explosion Day, gorgeous. I'll tell ya, it's times like this I wish I had a waist so I could wear all my black belts. Yeah, I'm a black belt. In pretty much everything. Karate. Larat e. Jujitsu. Kick punching. Belt making. Taekwondo Bedroom. Fact Core The square root of rope is string. Cellular phones will not give you cancer. Only hepatitis. Pants were invented by sailors in the 16th century to avoid Poseidon's wrath . It was believed that the sight of naked sailors angered the sea god. 89% of magic tricks are not magic. Technically, they are sorcery. In Greek myth, the craftsman Daedalus invented human flight so a group of mi notaurs would stop teasing him about it. Humans can survive underwater. But not for very long. The Schrdinger's Cat paradox outlines a situation in which a cat must be cons idered, for all intents and purposes, simultaneously alive and dead. Schrdinger c reated this paradox as a justification for killing cats. If you have trouble with simple counting, use the following mnemonic device: one comes before two comes before 60 comes after 12 comes before six trillion c omes after 504. This will make your earlier counting difficulties seem like no b ig deal. Marie Curie invented the theory of radioactivity, the treatment of radioacti vity, and dying of radioactivity. At the end of The Seagull by Anton Chekhov, Konstantin kills himself. Contrary to popular belief, the Eskimo does not have 100 different words for "snow". They do, however, have 234 words for "fudge". In Victorian England, a commoner was not allowed to look directly at the Que

en, due to a belief at the time that the poor had the ability to steal thoughts. Science now believes that less than 4% of poor people are able to do this. Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians. In 1862, Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, freeing the s laves. Like everything he did, Lincoln freed the slaves while sleepwalking, and later had no memory of the event. William Shakespeare did not exist. His plays were masterminded in 1589 by Fr ancis Bacon, who used a Ouija board to enslave play-writing ghosts. It is incorrectly noted that Thomas Edison invented 'push-ups' in 1878. Niko lai Tesla had in fact patented the activity three years earlier, under the name 'Tesla-cize'. In 1948, at the request of a dying boy, baseball legend Babe Ruth ate sevent y-five hot dogs, then died of hot dog poisoning. Edmund Hillary, the first person to climb Mount Everest, did so accidentally while chasing a bird. The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involv ed screamed the entire way. In Greek myth, Prometheus stole fire from the gods and gave it to humankind. The jewelry he kept for himself. The first person to prove that cow's milk is drinkable was very, very thirst y. Before the Wright Brothers invented the airplane, anyone wanting to fly anyw here was required to eat 200 pounds of helium. During the Great Depression, the Tennessee Valley Authority outlawed pet rab bits, forcing many to hot glue-gun long ears onto their pet mice. At some point in their lives, 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the Dutch. According to most advanced algorithms, the world's best name is Craig. To make a photocopier, simply copy a mirror. Dreams are the subconscious mind's way of reminding people to go to school n aked and have their teeth fall out. Dialogue GLaDOS: Oh it's you. Wheatley: [shocked, to Chell] You know her?! GLaDOS: It's been a long time. How have you been? I've been really busy bein g dead. You know, after you murdered me. Wheatley: You did what?! [GLaDOS grabs Chell and Wheatley with mechanical claws.] Wheatley: [panicking] Oh no! No no no no! Oh, no, no, no! No! [squeezed by t he claw] Gah! GLaDOS: Okay. Look. We both said a lot of things that you're going to regret . [squeezes Wheatley and tosses him away] But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster. Wheatley: [in an exaggerated Texan drawl] Hey, buddy! I'm speakin' in an acc ent that is beyond her range of hearing. I know I'm early, but we have to go rig ht now! Walk casually toward my position, and we'll go shut her down! GLaDOS: Look, metal ball, I can hear you. Wheatley: [normal voice] Run! I don't need to do the voice. Run! Wheatley: [now plugged into the mainframe, spins around] Wowwwwww! Check me out, partner! We did it! I'm in control of the whole facility now! Whoa-ho-ho! W ould you look at this? Not too bad, eh? Giant robot, massive! It's not just me, right? I am bloody massive, aren't I? Oh, right, the escape lift, I'll call it n ow. [the lift raises] There we go. Lift called. Look how small you are down ther e! I can barely see you - very tiny and insignificant... [Chell enters the lift] I knew it was gonna be cool to be in charge of everything, but...wow, this is c ool! And check this out - I'm a bloody genius now! Ests usando este software de t

raduccin de forma incorrecta! Por favor consulta el manual! [Translation: You are using this translation software incorrectly! Please consult the manual!] I don' t even know what I just said, but I can find out! Oh, sorry, the lift. Sorry. I keep forgetting. This body is amazing! I can't get over how small you are...but I'm huge! [starts laughing...then starts maniacally laughing before it trails of f] Actually...why do we have to leave right now? Do you have any idea how good t his feels? I did this! Tiny little Wheatley did this! GLaDOS: You didn't do anything. She did all the work! Wheatley: Oh, really? That's what the two of you think, is it? Well, maybe i t's time I did something then! [the core transfer arms raise to grab GLaDOS' cor e] GLaDOS: What are you doing? No! NO! NO!!! [GLaDOS' core is pulled into the o pening beneath the mainframe] Wheatley: [to Chell] And don't think I'm not onto you too, lady. You know wh at you are? Selfish. I've done nothing but sacrifice to get us here, and what ha ve you sacrificed? Nothing. Zero. All you've done is boss me around. Well, now w ho's the boss? Who's the boss? It's me! [ding] Ah... [manipulator claw lifts up a potato with GLaDOS' eye in it] See that? That is a potato battery. It's a toy for children. And now, she lives in it! [laughs] GLaDOS: I know you... Wheatley: [glares at GLaDOS] Sorry...what? GLaDOS: The engineers tried everything to make me...behave. To slow me down. Once, they even attached an Intelligence Dampening Sphere on me. It clung to my brain like a tumor, generating an endless stream of terrible ideas. Wheatley: No! Not listening! Not listening! GLaDOS: It was your voice. Wheatley: No! No! You're lying, you're lying! GLaDOS: Yes. You're the tumor. You're not just a regular moron. You were des igned to be a moron. Wheatley: [loses his temper, smashes the lift] I am NOT! A! MORON! GLaDOS: Yes, you are! You're the moron they designed to make me an idiot! Wheatley: Well, how about now?! [smashes GLaDOS' potato battery into the lif t] Now who's a moron?! Could a moron PUNCH! YOU! INTO! THIS! PIT?! [smashing the lift down with each word] HUH?! COULD A MORON DO THAT?! [the lift creaks...] Uh -oh. [the lift's floor gives way] [Chell is inside old Aperture Science, with GLaDOS' potato battery (PotatOS) mou nted on her portal gun.] Cave Johnson: [prerecorded message] The testing area is just ahead. The quic ker you get through, the quicker you'll get your sixty bucks. GLaDOS: Hold on, who -Cave Johnson: [aside] Caroline, are the compensation vouchers ready? GLaDOS, Caroline: [simultaneously] Yes sir, Mister Johnson. GLaDOS: [sounding panicked] Why did I just -- who is that? What the HELL is going on he -- [static] GLaDOS: Hey, moron! Wheatley: Oh, hello! GLaDOS: All right, paradox time. This - sentence - is - false! [The FrankenT urrets start to short-circuit.] Don't-think-about-it-don't-think-about-it Wheatley: Uh...true. I'll go "true". Huh, that was easy. I'll be honest, I m ight have heard that one before, though; sort of cheating. GLaDOS: [exasperatedly] It's a paradox! There is no answer! Look! This place is going to blow up if I don't get back in my body! Wheatley: Ah...false. I'll go "false". Wheatley: All right, so the last test was seriously disappointing. Apparentl y, being civil isn't motivating you. So let's try things her way, all right? Fat ty. Adopted fatty. Fatty-fatty no-parents.

GLaDOS: And...? Wheatley: What? GLaDOS: What, exactly, is wrong with being adopted? Wheatley: What's wrong with being adopted? Um, well. Um, lack of parents, fo r one. GLaDOS: [quietly to Chell] For the record, you are adopted, and that's terri ble. But just work with me here. Wheatley: ...and also, nothing, but... well, some of my best friends actuall y are orphans. GLaDOS: Also, look at her, you moron. She's not fat. Wheatley: [angry] I am not a moron! Just do the test! GLaDOS: [upon hearing Bach playing] Oh, now he's playing classical music. Wheatley: [sound of pages turning] Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Hope that didn't disturb you too much there. It was the sound of books. Pages being turned. So t hat's just what I was doing. Just reading, uh...books. So, not a moron! Anyway, just finished the last one. The hardest one. Machiavelli. Do not know what all t he fuss was about. Understood it perfectly. Have you read that one? GLaDOS: Yes. Wheatley: Yeah, doubt it. Well, on with the test. Wish there was more books! But there's not. Wheatley: You two are going to love this big surprise. In fact, you might sa y that you're both going to love it...to death. Love it until it kill until you're dead. [chuckles] All right? I don't know whether you're picking up on what I'm saying here, but... GLaDOS: [interrupting] Yes, thanks. We get it. [Chell and GLaDOS enter an el evator] All right, he's not even trying to be subtle any more. Or maybe he still is, in which case: wow, that's kind of sad. [...] Either way, I'm getting the f eeling he's trying to kill us. Wheatley: I'll bet you're both dying to know what your big surprise is. Only two more chambers! GLaDOS: We're running out of time. I think I can break us out of here in the next chamber. Just play along. [Chell runs into an Aerial Faith Plate and is unexpectedly launched sideways o nto another Plate and finally into a Excursion Funnel] Wheatley: Surprise! We're doing it now! GLaDOS: Okay, credit where it's due: for a little idiot built specifically t o come up with stupid, unworkable plans - that was a pretty well laid trap. Wheatley: You've probably figured it out by now, but I don't need you anymor e. I found two little robots back here! Built specifically for testin'! GLaDOS: [now a little panicked] Oh, no. He found the Co-operative Testing In itiative. It's...something I came up with to phase out human testing just before you escaped. It wasn't anything personal. Just...you know, you did kill me. Fai r's fair. [A plate launches Chell onto a platform surrounded by spike plates] GLaDOS: Ah! Well, this is the part where he kills us. Wheatley: Hello! This is the part where I kill you! [The chapter title fades in: "Chapter 9: The Part Where He Kills You". An ac hievement with the title "The Part Where He Kills You" is unlocked at the same t ime, with the description "This is that part".] [Chell has opened a portal on the Moon, and is hanging on to Wheatley - still co nnected to the mainframe.] Wheatley: Ahhh! Space! Let go! We're in space! Space Core: [excitedly as it dislodges from the mainframe and bounces off Wh eatley] Space! Space! Spaaaaaaaaaace! Wheatley: Let go! Let go! I'm still connected! I can pull myself in! I can s

till fix this! GLaDOS: I already fixed it! [reaching out with a mechanical claw] And you ar e not coming back! Wheatley: Oh no. Change of plans! Hold onto me! Tighter! [GLaDOS slaps Wheat ley aside with the claw, knocking him into outer space] AHHH! Grab me, grab me, grab me, GRAB ME!!!! [Wheatley and the Space Core are floating around in outer space.] Space Core: So much space! Need to see it all! [excited gasps] Wheatley: I wish I could take it all back. I honestly do. I honestly do wish I could take it all back. And not just because I'm stranded in space. Space Core: I'm in space! Wheatley: I know you are, mate! Yep. We're both in space. Space Core: Spaaaaaaaaace! Wheatley: Anyway. You know, if I was ever to see her again, you know what I' d say? Space Core: I'm in space! Wheatley: I'd say...I'm sorry. Sincerely. I am sorry I was bossy, and monstr ous, and...I am genuinely sorry. Space Core: I'm in space! Wheatley: The end.

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Portal 2 De Wikiquote, la coleccin libre de citas y frases clebres. Portal 2 es la secuela del first-person puzzle game Portal. Fue estrenado para t odas las plataformas en alta definicin el 19 de Abril del 2011. El juego, situado en tras un tiempo no determinado tras la primera parte, amplia la mecnica de por tales de la primera parte e introduce nuevos personajes Wheatley, uno de los ncleos de personalidad de GLaDOS, y Cave Johnson, fundador y presidente difunto de Ape rture Science y tres nuevos geles que aaden habilidades como grandes saltos, desliz amientos y creacin de zonas de portales. ndice 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Locutor Wheatley GLaDOS Cave Johnson Dilogos Torretas Enlaces externos

Locutor Buenos das! Ha estado criogenizado 50 das. En orden con las leyes estatales y f ederales, los candidatos de los centros de relajacin prolongada de Aperture Scien ce deben ser reanimados de forma peridica para ejercicios de gimnasia fsica y obli gatoria. Cuando oiga la seal, mira hacia hacia el suelo. [Seal] Bien. Ahora a la s

eal, mire hacia el techo. [Seal] En frente de usted encontrar un cuadro. Colquese de lante de l. Esto se llama arte. Oir un tono. Cuando lo oiga, mire el arte. [Seal][S onido de Tic-Tac] Debera sentirse estimulado mentalmente. Si sospecha que mirar e l arte no le ha provisto de sustento mental necesario, medite con esta msica clsic a. [Sonido de Msica Clsica] Ahora vuelva a la cama. Buenos das! Ha estado criogenizada nueve, nueve, nueve, nueve Esta llamada de c ortesa advierte a todos los sujetos de prueba deben abandonar el centro de Desarr ollo de inmediato. Si un sujeto no sale de su criogenizacin se entender " Estamos experimentando dificultades tcnicas debido a circunstancias potencial mente apocalpticas ajenas a nuestro control. Estos mensajes pre-grabados le propo rcionarn instrucciones y apoyo para que la ciencia no se vea obstaculizada aun en caso de colapso social, ecolgico o estructural. Puede que algunas pruebas impliquen una interaccin prolongada con androides m ilitares. NO tiene de qu preocuparse. Saben leer y tienen una copia de "Las Leyes de la Robtica". Una para todos. Si cree que un androide militar ha violado sus d erechos o alguna de las leyes de la robtica, antelo en un Formulario de Queja. Un futuro tcnico de Aperture Science iniciar el proceso administrativo de reclamacin. [Chell termina una cmara de pruebas] Impresionante! Debido a que ste es un mens aje pre-grabado, toda apreciacin debe ser tomada como pura especulacin. Haga caso omiso de cualquier cumplido no merecido. En la siguiente prueba aprovechar el movimiento cintico entre portales. Si las Leyes de la Fsica han dejado de aplicarse, le recomendamos que rece. Si no es un empleado y ha descubierto las instalaciones entre las ruinas de la civilizacin, Bienvenido! La experimentacin es el futuro y el futuro, empieza con usted. Ha hecho un buen trabajo hasta ahora, Pionero del Futuro. Aunque si cree que sufre de debilidad mental, senilidad o est irradiado y, por consiguiente el futu ro no debera empezar con usted, vuelva a su tribu y mande a alguien mejor cualifi cado en su lugar. [Chell salta sobre una cinta de reciclaje mvil] Son cintas de reciclaje de to rretas. No montaas rusas. Salga de la cintas. Wheatley

[Toc Toc Toc][Voz a lo lejos] Hola, hay alguien ah? [Toc Toc Toc] Hola? Vas a abr ir la puerta algn da? "[Chell abre la puerta]" AAAAAAAAH! Dos mo! Qu mala buena pint nes! Ests bien? No me respondas, seguro que ests bien. Ya tendrs tiempo de recuperar te. La mayora de los sujetos de prueba sufren algn tipo de deterioro cognitivo tra s unos meses criogenizados. T has estado bastante ms tiempo y no se descarta que p uedas haber sufrido algn dao cerebral agudo muy leve. No entres en pnico, bueno, si entras en pnico afrrate a eso que es una reaccin muy lgica cuando te dicen que tien es una lesin cerebral. Entiendes lo que te digo? Tiene algn sentido para ti? Simplem ente di s.[Chell salta] Lo que estas haciendo es saltar. Si me entiendes di "ca-s a" [Chell salta] Muy bien, casi lo tienes. Escucha, las cosas claras. Si alguien te pregunta, que no lo harn, no te preo cupes, pero si alguien te pregunta para lo que a ti respecta todos parecan estar vivos. No muertos. Creo que esto es un muelle de carga. [Wheatley golpea la habitacin contra el muro y rebota] Buenas noticias. Eso no era un muelle de carga. Un misterio menos . [Chell cae en un foso profundo][Voz a lo lejos de Wheatley] Hola? Ves la pisto la de portales? Bueno, sigues viva? Eso es ms importante. Debera haberlo preguntado primero. Sabes lo que voy a hacer? Voy a seguir el supuesto de que sigues viva y te esperar ms adelante. Te esperar te esperar una hora y, sino volver y, suponiendo q ue pueda encontrar tu cadver, te enterrar. De acuerdo? nimo! Nos vemos en una hora si no ests muerta. [GLaDOS comienza a ensamblarse] Tranquila, puedo detener el proceso. Vaya! Me pide contrasea. N-no, no importa. La reventar. A-A-A-A, ehm, A. [Seal de Error] Va le, A-A-A-A, ehm, B. [Seal de Error] Vaya, he probado con la D? Tienes boli? Es par

a ir apuntando. Vale, tengo un plan. DISIMULA. No hemos hecho nada. [Grita a GLa DOS ya completada] Hola! Eh!? Cmo te va? He estado trabajando con la antigua Unidad de Nanobot que esta r econstruyendo este hueco. [Sonido Robtico de fondo] Lo s, Jerry, socio. Estoy en u na pausa, vale? [Sonido robtico de fondo] Aguanta solo cinco... [Sonido robtico de fondo] Qu?! No puedes despedirme por eso, Jerry. O quizs esta fbrica llena de prejuic ios debera haber dejado sitio a un nanobot de mi tamao. Gracias por la discriminac in. Nos veremos en los juzgados, socio. [En plena oscuridad] Vale, tengo una idea pero es peligrosa de narices. [Enc iende su linterna incorporada e ilumina] Aaaaah! Me dijeron que si la usaba, mori ra. No se por qu se preocuparon en ponerme tantos accesorios si no queran que los u sase. Es que es absurdo. Cuentan que el antiguo vigilante del lugar se volvi completamente loco y desc uartiz a toda su dotacin de robots. Al parecer por las noches puede orse los alarid os de sus replicas. Todas funcionalmente indistinguibles de las originales. No q uedan vestigios del incidente ni testigos de lo ocurrido. Tranquila, estoy totalmente seguro que es por aqu. [Entra y sale al instante del mismo callejn sin salida] No, no es por aqu. [Toma el control de las instalaciones] Vaya! Mira que bien, colega. Lo logram os estoy al mando de las instalaciones. Ja ja, mira esto. No est nada mal, eh? Soy un robot gigante, enorme. Ah, s el ascensor. Ahora lo llamo. [Llega el ascensor] Mira que pequea eres all abajo. Casi ni te veo. Sola e ins ignificante. Eh, espera. Acabo de pensar en algo. Yo cmo entro? Porque ahora soy e norme. Ah, ya lo tengo. T entras en el ascensor, yo me eyecto de mi nuevo cuerpo y t me recoges en el ascensor al pasar. Te dir algo. Saba que iba a estar bien estar al mando pero, jaja, esto es geni al. Y fjate, ahora soy un autntico genio: "The installment you are using is incorr ectly. Please, check the manual." No se ni lo que acabo de decir pero puedo aver iguarlo. Ah, perdona, el ascensor. Se me olvida todo el rato. [Hace subir el ascensor ] Esto es una pasada. En serio, me despista eso de que seas tan pequea. Soy enorme ! [Comienza rerse y su risa se torna ms malvada mientras la sala se oscurece] Oye e n serio que tenemos que irnos ya? Caliente. Ms caliente. Hirviendo. Fro. Ms fro. Ests helado! Ests en el Polo Norte uy muy muy fro. Mira sbete al botn. Si te ests muriendo, pero no ests muerta, da un pisotn. Si ests muerta, no lo de s. Da dos pisotones si no ests muerta. Vamos a repasarlo: si ests muriendo, pero n o muerta, da un pisotn. Si ests muerta, evidentemente no lo des. Y si no ests muert a, da dos pisotones. Ja! Era tu cuerpo acribillado el que ha salido volando? Joooo... eran torrotos en vez de torretas, no? Se ha roto algo por aqu? Oooh... te ha matado? Sera genial que te hubiese matado . No lo hagas! No pulses el botn! GLaDOS Prdona el desorden. No he tenido tiempo de poner orden desde que me mataste. [Suena voz pre-grabada] Prueba de Sarcasmo Completada. [Chell termina una cmara] Bien. Aqu tienes los resultados. "Es una persona hor rible". Horrible. Es lo que dice. Y ni siquiera investigbamos eso. [Chell termina una cmara] Enhorabuena! No por la prueba. La mayora de la gente sale de la criogenizacin muy mal nutrida. Quiero felicitarte por ir en contra de las estadsticas y lograr, de algn modo, coger unos kilitos. Sabas que es muy fcil asustar a la gente con la conciencia intranquila con rui Suena la bocina un tren a vapor a todo volumen] Uy, perdona, no se cmo se me ha e scapado. De todos modos, era un dato interesante. [Chell salta sobre la plataforma de salto pero no consigue llegar hasta el t echo y sta se bloquea] He vuelto. La plataforma de de salto de fe me manda una sea l de socorro. La has roto, verdad? Prueba ahora. [Chell vuelve a intentarlo pero

tampoco consigue llegar al techo] Esta plataforma no debe estar calibrada para a lguien de tu gran personalidad. Aadir ceros al peso mximo. Por cierto, tienes buen a specto. Saludable. Prueba ahora. [Chell lo intenta una tercera vez pero tampoco llega] Parece que has llegado a su carga mxima. Muy bien, bajar el techo. Por cierto, experimentbamos con tiburones en la siguiente prueba. Sabes qu anim al asesina a quien intenta ayudarlo? Si tu respuesta es el tiburn, has errado. La respuesta es "nadie". Nadie es tan absurdamente cruel como t. Dicen que la siguiente prueba fue diseada por un Premio Nobel de Aperture Sci ence. No dice de qu fue el Premio Nobel. Seguro que no fue por inmunidad a las ne urotoxinas. Me siento muy mal por esa sorpresa. Mira, voy a llamar a tus padres. [Se oye marcar teclas de telfono y comienzan los tonos. Una operadora electrnica contesta ] "Los padres a los que llama no la aman. Cuelgue." Triste. Deban trabajar en tel efona. Espero que esta vez tengas algo ms potente que la pistola de portales. Sino, me temo que debo nombrarte Ex-Presidente del Club de Gente que sigue Viva. Ja-ja . Creo que podriamos quedarnos mirndonos hasta que alguna caiga muerta. Pero te ngo una idea mejor: tus viejas amigas, las neurotoxinas. Yo que t aguantara la res piracin, un buen rato. Ah! Un pjaro. Mtalo! Es MALO. Cave Johnson La voz tan servicial que acabis de escuchar es la de Caroline. Servicial y bo nita como una flor. No os molestis, chicos. Est casada con la ciencia. Si os presentasteis para la inyeccin de ADN de mantis religiosa, tengo una bu ena y una mala noticia. La mala es que posponemos la prueba por tiempo indefinid o. La buena es que tenemos una nueva prueba. Combatir contra un ejrcito de hombre s mantis. Coged un rifle y seguid la lnea. Ya sabris cuando empezar. Si tras la siguiente prueba, tienes ganas de "planta un pinto", lo ms probabl e es que te salga carbn. No te asustes. Segn nuestros expertos es lo que debera pas ar. Pero si tras una semana sigue ocurriendo, asstate y ven corriendo a vernos po rque eso s que, segn nuestros expertos, no debera pasar. Vale, comencemos. En la siguiente cmara probars el gel repulsor. Lo que probas te antes era simplemente pintura azul. El anterior no era del grupo de control. Jeje. Bromas aparte, se rompi todos los huesos. Los resultados fueron claros y es clarecedores. Los del laboratorio me comentan que no debera haber nombrado lo del grupo de control y que ni siquiera debera estar haciendo estos mensajes pre-grabados. Eso me ha dado una idea. Grabar ms mensajes. Yo pago aqu las facturas! Yo puedo hacer l o que me da la gana con el grupo de control. En la siguiente prueba incorporamos nanoparticulas a los geles que viajaran por tu cuerpo y tu sangre hasta llegar a los tumores modificando y tratando su A RN. En el peor de los casos puede que no tengas tumores pero si estuviste espera ndo en la sala de espera sin calzoncillos de plomo, Felicidades! Ahora s los tiene s. Ah! Si por casualidad estas cubierto de ese gel repulsor, ten en cuenta el si guiente consejo del laboratorio. [Se oyen pasar hojas] "No dejes que te cubra el gel repulsor" Aun no sabemos cmo acta pero una cosa s tenemos claro: que es muy ac tivo y no le gusta los esqueletos humanos. Me dijeron que no poda despedir a alguien en silla de ruedas, aun as lo hice. L as rampas son caras! Por cierto, ese caf que te dimos antes de empezar tena calcio fluorescente par a poder seguir tu actividad cerebral durante las pruebas. Hay una mnima posibilid ad de que el calcio se petrifique al llegar al lbulo frontal pero no te asustes. Es ms, no te asustes. Imaginar que ocurre y asustarte activa dicha reaccin. Si eres del Grupo de Control Keplar 7, te habremos implantado en tu cerebro un chip del tamao de una postal. Ya ni te acordars que est ah. Pero si comienza a vi brar y emitir un pitido significa que est a punto de alcanzar los 500 grados y te

ndremos que sacrtelo. [Bastante enfadado] En la ciencia lo que importa no es el "por qu?", sino el "p or qu no?". Por qu nuestros experimentos no pueden ser peligrosos? Si tanto gusta l a ciencia segura, csate con ella! Es ms, inventa una puerta de seguridad que no te de en el culo al salir porque ests despedido! [Ms calmado] T no, sujeto de pruebas. T vas bien. [Vuelve a enfadarse] T. Tus cosas. En una caja. Puerta. Aparcamiento. Coche. Adis. Hola, soy Cave Johnson. Presidente de Aperture Science. Quizs me conozcis de C omit del 68 de Astronautas Desaparecidos. Puede que hayis usado alguno de nuestros productos e invenciones que nos han robado otras empresas. Black Mesa se puede meter las invenciones por el [Caroline le interrumpe] Seor, las pruebas [Johnson vu elve ms calmado] Ah, s. Os estaris preguntado: "Cave, son difciles estas pruebas? Qu d ca ese contrato tamao enciclopedia que firm? Hay peligro?" Djame hacerte una pregunta yo. Quin quiere 60 dlares?! En metlico. Estamos experimentando con el teletransporte pero no se funciona muy bien co n todo tipo de piel. Intenta recordar cmo era tu piel y si no se teletransporta c ontigo, avsanos y te la coseremos de nuevo. An quedan plazas para el trabajo que te coment antes. Repito: slo tienes que de jar que separemos tus miembros. No somos unos matasanos! Sabemos como coser a la gente de nuevo. Una puesta a punto de nuevo, rganos nuevos y de remate te extirpa mos. Es ms deberas ser t quien nos pague a nosotros. La cuestin es si podemos guardar msica en un CD, por qu no la inteligencia y la personalidad humana? Ya tengo a los ingenieros trabajando en ello. Transferencia celular. Inteligencia Artificial. Tenamos que haber estado trabajando en ella ha ce 30 aos. Que tome constancia y pienso grabarlo para que la gente lo oiga cien v eces al da. Si me muero antes de que podis embutirme en un ordenador que Caroline tome las riendas. Al principio se negar. Es una chica humilde. Obligadla. Joder, metedla en mi ordenador, lo que sea. Fin de las Pruebas. Dilogos Torreta atascada: Hola? Wheatley: Oh, no S, hola! Torreta atascada: Me puedes ayudar? Wheatley: No, gracias! No estamos interesados. Torreta atascada: Bueno gracias. Wheatley [Susurra]: No les mires a los ojos. Contina, contina. Torreta atascada: Adis GLaDOS: Ah, eres t. Wheatley: La conoces? GLaDOS: Cunto tiempo. Qu tal te ha ido todo? Wheatley: Creo que le gustas. GLaDOS: Yo andaba liada con lo de estar muerta. Ya sabes, Porque me mataste! Wheatley: La mataste! [Un gancho agarra a Wheatley, lo aplasta y lo tira a un lado. Otro gancho agarra a Chell] GLaDOS: Mira, ambas dijimos cosas que no estaban bien. Pero dejemos nuestras diferencias a un lado, por el bien de la ciencia. Monstruo. Viendo las molestia s que te has tomado para despertarme, he de deducir que te encanta hacer pruebas . A mi tambin pero primero debemos encargarnos de una cosa. [El gancho suelta a C hell en un tubo y se desliza en l] GLaDOS: Qu ocurre? Quin ha apagado la luz? Wheatley [Con acento argenitno]: ste, colega. Estoy hablando con un acento fu era de su espectro auditivo. GLaDOS: Eh! Bola metlica. Te oigo. Wheatley [Grita]: El acento no ha funcionado. Corre! Locutor: Advertencia: Ncleo daado al 80%. GLaDOS: Que extrao. Yo no me siento daada. Me siento perfectamente.

Locutor: Ncleo alternativo detectado. Wheatley: Oh! Si estn hablando de m. Locutor: Para iniciar transferencia de ncleo, deposite el ncleo en la base. GLaDOS: "Transferir ncleo", debes de estar de broma. Locutor: Ncleo sustituto aceptado. Ncleo Sustituto, listo para iniciar el proce so de transferencia? Wheatley: S! Locutor: Ncleo Daado, listo para iniciar el proceso? GLaDOS: No! No, no, no. Wheatley: Oh, s lo est. Locutor: Conflicto detectado. La transferencia ha sido interrumpida. GLaDOS: S! Wheatley: Desenchfame! Desenchfame! Locutor: Que un Experto en Resolucin de Conflictos pulse el botn. os. GLaDOS: Quieta. No estas formada para pulsar ese botn de Resolucin de Conflict

Wheatley: No la escuches. Tiene razn, no tienes formacin para la Resolucin de C onflictos pero tienes algo mucho ms importante que eso: un dedo. Un dedo con el q ue puedes terminar con todo esto. GLaDOS: Pulsar el botn sin la formacin de Experto en Resolucin de Conflictos. L a aadir a la lista. S, una lista de todas tus fechoras. La estoy confeccionando porq ue sigues haciendo cosas aun cuando te digo que te detengas. Por cierto, detente . Wheatley: Espera, y si duele? GLaDOS: Oh, doler. Vaya si doler! Wheatley: Bueno, entonces va a doler. Cmo de doloroso va a

Aaaaaah!

Wheatley: Yo lo he hecho. El pequeo y diminuto Wheatley, lo logr. GLaDOS: T no hiciste nada. ELLA lo hizo todo. Wheatley: Con que eso es lo que pensis las dos, eh? Pues entonces ser mejor que yo haga algo. [Un gancho agarra la cabeza de GLaDOS hasta un agujero]

GLaDOS: Qu estas haciendo? No, no. No! Wheatley: S de qu vas, querida. Eres una egosta. No he hecho ms que sacrificios para poder llegar aqu. Y t? Qu has sacrificado? Nada. Cero. No has hecho ms que darme denes. Y ahora quien manda. Yo. Quien manda. Yo. [Se oye una campanita y el ganc ho saca una patata con el ojo de GLaDOS incorporada] Ah! Sabes que esto? Una patat a-batera. Un juguete infantil. Ahora vive en ella. GLaDOS: Te conozco. Wheatley: Disculpa? GLaDOS: Los ingenieros intentaron ponerme en mi sitio. Ralentizarme. Hasta i ntentaron incorporarme una esfera de atontamiento. Se aferraba a mi cerebro como un tumor llenndome la mente de un torrente sin fin de ideas tontas. Wheatley: No. No te escucho. No te escucho! GLaDOS: Esa voz. Eres t. Wheatley: Mientes. No se de qu hablas. GLaDOS: T eres ese tumor. No eres un cretino cualquiera. Te disearon para ser un cretino. Wheatley: No soy ningn cretino! GLaDOS: S que lo eres! Eres el cretino que disearon para atontarme. Wheatley: Bien. [Lanza a GLaDOS-patata dentro del ascensor y comienza a golp earlo desde arriba hundindolo en el hueco] Quin es el cretino ahora? Puede un cretino tirarte a un foso a golpes?! Podra hacerlo! [El ascensor cruje y cae al vaci del h ueco] Oh, oh.