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Writing Center Client Report Form

The document provides feedback on a student's ethics application paper. It addresses issues with citations, organization, and the lack of a conclusion. Suggestions are given to improve the paper such as ensuring in-text citations are properly formatted, creating a reverse outline to improve organization, and adding a concluding paragraph.

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45 views

Writing Center Client Report Form

The document provides feedback on a student's ethics application paper. It addresses issues with citations, organization, and the lack of a conclusion. Suggestions are given to improve the paper such as ensuring in-text citations are properly formatted, creating a reverse outline to improve organization, and adding a concluding paragraph.

Uploaded by

api-302495762
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
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Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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UNC Charlotte

Writing Resources Center

December 1, 2015
Hi Greg:
I enjoyed reading your Ethics Application. My name is Jennifer, and I
will be working with you today. In this draft, you made it clear that you
know a lot about the material. It is packed with information.
Please know that as you continue to work on this paper, the Writing
Resources Center is here to assist you. For additional consultations,
whether face-to-face, online, or e-tutoring, please visit our scheduler at
uncc.mywconline.com. You may find additional information about the
Writing Resources Center at wrc.uncc.edu. You may also email us at
[email protected].
Throughout this document, you will find text from your own paper. Your
examples will be in bold. My sample sentences or changes will be in
italics.
My understanding is that you are analyzing the situation in a fictional
world, comparing it to the real world, and analyzing through ethical
models.
As you revise, I would like you to consider the following:
1. Citation
2. Organization
3. Conclusion
Citation
I am particularly concerned about the citations that I see. I did
not see any Works Cited page to compare with. I am assuming that this
is APA, but there are a lot of things inconsistent. One minor thing would
be that the in-text citations should go before the period. For example, if
I were to cite this it would be like this (source).
For more on APA, see the Purdue OWL:
https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/560/01/

Additionally, there are a lot of items that do not have citations


but are still items that I would think should be cited. Anything that you
needed to learn from another source should be cited.
Organization
The organization of this essay made it confusing to me. I found it
difficult to follow as you introduced new topics and changed topics.
One way to work on this would be to look into creating a reverse
outline. Basically, that means to list the topics of each of the
paragraphs you already have, make sure the sentences within each
paragraph are consistent to the topics, and put the paragraphs in an
order that makes each build off the last.
Conclusion
Im not sure that I see a concluding paragraph, but I think that is
a very important part of every paper. The last paragraph seems to be
introducing new ideas, rather than answering the So What? question.
In the conclusion, you could address that conclusion question to make
the essay more powerful.
Summary
In summary, the most important thing to look at is the citations.
This is probably followed by looking at organization. Then adding a
conclusion would help make this a stronger paper.
Good luck as you continue to revise.
Thank you for using the Writing Resources Center.
Sincerely,
Jennifer

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