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There are periods in our lives where we put too much pressure to ourselves. Where we are never happy on our achievements, our interactions with others and focus on things we could or should do better. We all know how this goes. Creating an ideal version of ourselves does not guarantee overperformance nor happiness. It only takes out our mental & physical energy for no return. I know what you think now: "OK, but what can we do about it?" I have had such a period a couple of years ago, when my father decided to leave life. As no one is prepared to such an event, it generated all the things we have not settled out with him throughout our difficult relationship. To him, only being perfect mattered,... Be the best or you are nothing was his motto. This of course caused him to have a tough life, causing a tough relationship with his children and others. As having this type of high expectations never helps. You can not be 1st continuously,... it is a changing condition. After his departure, all the unsaid things between us put some pressure on me,... Generating non-constructive thoughts such as: "I should do better" "I am not good enough"... So, how can we get out of this mindset? I think by being kind to ourselves & giving us time. Life is all about ups & downs. And when the time comes, you know it's time to move on & advance. To me, it was when I understood the tough childhood of my father, who was pushed to be an elite by his family & never received enough love. This is why he wasn't able to show the love he had for others and his inability to communicate his feelings. When I understood that, I was ready let the sun set on this chapter & move on to a new born day. Have all a superb chilling sunday 😊
Beautiful Oluş. May your father’s soul rest in peace. From what you wrote, my assumption is that he was a good man.
RIP to your dad Oluş Kayacan, CFA, CAIA It’s sad to have understanding of his life and uncommunicated love this way. I’m sure he’d be proud of the impact of his last act on his family. Perhaps, that’s what he was looking for.
May your father rest easy. Your learnings are very powerful.
Oluşcum şekerim❤ ne güzel yazmışsın, ifade edebilmişsin, paylaşmışsın! Iki farklı, ama çok özel ve çok güzel, birbirini de çok seven insanın, baba-oğulun hikayesi! Kocaman öpüyorum yanaklarından🍀
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1dGreat post! On my desk in the trading room, I have a quote: Trust the timing of your life. I truly believe in synchronicity – that everything in this universe happens at the perfect moment, even if our minds often think otherwise. It takes patience and resilience to achieve our vision and become the best version of ourselves. But we're only human — we fall, we rise, we doubt, we try again. The secret is to learn compassion towards ourselves and others. That's what helps us grow in harmony with the timing of the universe. Have a beautiful Sunday!