The other night, I found myself as the only woman in a sea of white men at a 30-person founder dinner, except for the female bartender. The craziest part was… nobody noticed except for the two of us. Immediately I turn to her. “Are you seeing what I’m seeing?” Of course, she nods and shrugs. I mention it in passing to a few male founders standing next to me, and they widen their eyes. “Huh, you’re right!” 🤯 If you’re a female tech leader, you belong and deserve to be in these rooms, loud and proud—and don’t be afraid to share what you’re noticing with others around you. So maybe next time, they’ll look at the guest list in advance and think, “Why don’t we have more women RSVP’d, and how can we include them?” Change starts with awareness. 🫶 Happy International Women’s Day, friends.
I’m curious about something: when the goal is to discuss the representation of women, why do we so often frame it in contrast to ‘white men’ rather than focusing on men directly? If race is relevant to the conversation, wouldn’t it also be worth noting whether there was any racial diversity in the room at all? Genuinely interested in perspectives on this.
"Change starts with awareness" indeed!!
You can't fix what you aren't aware of. Great points and happy IWD.
Katie Kirsch well said. Very true. I also notice every time that I am the only woman on a Zoom as well as in the room. I also notice when I’m the oldest woman in the room.
Speaking my language, great post Katie Kirsch!
It needs to go several levels deeper. What is the invite list and the criteria? And if it's mostly white men, why? What systems are leading to this being a natural outcome? Adding women to the list is great, but we shouldn't be an add-on, nor something that has to be purposefully thought of. We should be embedded enough in these communities that this becomes a non issue. When you set the table for a 30 person dinner, you don't put down 30 spoons, 30 knives and not notice you don't have any forks... unless you're so used to not seeing forks around that it's your normal.
That number is even smaller when you are a woman of colour.
It's a feeling I've felt throughout my career. I can't tell you how moved I was walking into a meetup for founders of color, I couldn't help but shed a tear. Conversely, there's the nod and laugh I get to share on slim occasion when I'm in less complected spaces - I'm grateful for it all. Just know you're not alone Katie and you've got folks rooting for you every step of the way!
Humanitarian, Philanthropist, Impact Investor, Leadership Sherpa, Social Entrepreneur
3dIt is incumbent on the men organizing and/or attending these events to demand balanced representation. Time to say no to bro clubs, “manels” in these venues. It detracts from the value, importance and impact by excluding women and people of color. As a leader, I use my privilege to require this. It is not sole responsibility of women to make up for the biases and failings of men.