As the “get startups unstuck” guy, I see many businesses that are circling an eddy and can’t get back into the flow of the river.
Often, it’s a result of founders overly identifying with their companies and making decisions to protect that identity.
This is a subconscious pattern that develops in childhood and we all have it. I can personally check every box on this list.
However, overly identifying with your company can kill it. Why?
We lose objectivity in seeking acceptance and belonging and prolong, intensify, or mishandle situations. And then it snowballs.
How do you know if you’re over-identifying?
1. You have a glowing cocktail party description. I recall meeting the founder and CEO of a well-known company who hurled success metrics at me for ten minutes straight. A year later, the board pushed her out.
2. You use “I” a lot. You rely on your personal experience and vision to describe the company, instead of a team of people bringing an idea to market.
3. You invest heavily in PR: This sounds harmless (and no offense to PR people), but it can indicate a leader who values being “seen” over more lucrative marketing tactics.
4. You’re obsessed with competitors. Some “shared enemy” motivation is good, but if it generates the fury of a thousand suns, it becomes the equivalent of road rage: harmful, embarrassing, and useless.
5. You have more answers than questions. Wanting to have “all the answers” equates your brain with the company’s brain. While this may come from a desire to help, it can squash critical learning, growth, and culture-building.
6. You raise too much money. Big funding rounds can feel like success and validation, but without strong market tailwinds, they set an incredibly high bar and may not be in the company’s best interest long-term.
7. You don’t take breaks. If your company is your identity, you’ll gravitate to workaholism, exacerbating the problem and further hindering sound decision-making.
8. It’s hard to talk about hard things. Painful issues feel like personal condemnation rather than objective circumstances, so you avoid them–until it’s too late.
9. Setbacks = depression: If the company loses a deal to a competitor and you crawl into bed with a bowl of Cap’n Crunch for a week (just me?), you may be over-identifying. This is when the team most needs your positive energy and growth mindset.
10. Your narrative varies from your team’s. If your perspective on your product, market, and competitive position is much rosier than theirs, you may protecting an image and missing key signals.
Again, I’ve done all of these. I offer them up as warning signs that may prevent your company from being among the 10% of successful startups.
The good news: there are clear paths to transformation. For me it was working with a coach, mentors, my team, and doing some outside retreats. If you’re curious, shoot me a note. I’m happy to help. 💬