You’re a caregiver for someone who’s dying. How can you make their final days more comfortable?

Be sure you're not projecting your **own** wishes is by actively engaging in advance care planning conversations and talking to your patient/loved one about things ahead of time when possible. Prioritize what THEY would want at the end of life, and be open about discussing the details.

As a family caregiver during my mom’s final months in my home, one of the most important dialogues I had with Housecall Providers was when she stopped eating. The support for (how to) listening to her “wants” was incredibly important for me. ❤️

I think it is really important that the family / friend caregiver understand where THEY are on the desires of the person who is dying. It is really important to accept your own level of discomforts. One of the respondents in this string emphasized the need to be able to find support for themselves. After the event is over, we all need to be comfortable with the idea that we provided the support needed. Unresolved regret, doubt, or guilt are a terrible burden to carry over time. Whatever is done, you need to feel like it was the right thing for the dying and for you.

Most people have wishes but often feel unable to express them so it's important that you find a way to put them in the condition to share any particular needs and wishes they may have.

I think this is the biggest gift you can give someone at the end of life. Speak to those in your care while they can still express what's important for them in their final days. - educate on a death doula - assist in legal documents regarding these wishes - assist in educating family members and close friends on these wishes while still able to have an open dialogue about this - ensure everyone important and involved knows where to find legal documents Hold their hand and usher them home with dignity. Remember keeping someone alive doesn't mean they're actually living.

One of the most challenging yet crucial aspects of caregiving is honoring the wishes of the individual who is nearing the end of their life. Despite personal feelings or preferences, it's essential to prioritize and respect their choices. Engaging in open and honest conversations about their desires for medical care, end-of-life arrangements, and legacy projects allows for clarity and understanding. Additionally, assisting them in creating or updating an advance directive ensures their wishes are documented and upheld, even if they are unable to communicate them directly. While it may be emotionally difficult, honoring their autonomy and wishes ultimately provides comfort and peace during their final days.

LISTEN. Creating a safe space for someone to transition is imperative. This space is often considered sacred - and its not about you. Its about the person who is dying: their wishes, their heart, their needs. Being understanding and accepting of that makes everything else easier - you are along for a portion of the journey, but there comes a certain point where the dying must travel alone. So be the best, safest, most receptive contributor to that space possible.

I spent over a decade as the Vice Chair of the Ethics service at a large hospital and often dealt with family conflict/ambiguity and very complicated situations. I had conversations asking what the patient has said his/her wishes would be if critically ill and in a situation when life sustaining interventions were either desired or declined. Many times the next of kin discussed what he/she would want and not what the patient would want. I often said, “you are putting in words what the pt has already said were their wishes.” The patient has made the decisions. You are simply verbalizing it. On a personal note, one of the very best gifts my Dad gave us was his writing of his obituary and his planning of his funeral service.

As someone who deal with seniors on a daily basis, it is always important that you communicate with them as much as possible. As a caregiver, it is our job to understand their direct and indirect personal needs and wants and provide those to them. Our main mission is to make them feel understood, at ease and reduce friction. Making it effortless for them as they spend their remaining golden times.

As a Palliative Nurse Practitioner I see these conversations needing to take place early, not in a moment of crisis. Wishes change over time and the values one holds closest need to be understood by the decision maker and those supporters around them.

Find what works for them. Every person is different. Some people like to also feel taken care of and having loved ones connect really helps.

Pain management is crucial in end-of-life management. Some patients refused procedures that wouldn't alleviate their suffering but symptomatic management shouldn't not be overlooked.

Advocate for your loved one to explore a medication regimen that will not only provide comfort but also limit physical and cognitive impairment.

In addition to pain, we address any other symptoms the patient may be facing, such as nausea, shortness of breath, or anxiety. By identifying and managing these symptoms, we aim to enhance the patient’s overall comfort and quality of life.

I have read that sometimes it seems like people are resisting or trying to hang on. I would stand over my mom and just tell her I loved her, that we were all ok and safe, and that she could leave. I told her it was ok and safe to let go.

Listening actively, encouraging the expression of feelings, and offering your presence can be profoundly comforting. Sharing memories, music, or photos can help celebrate their life and bring joy. Facilitating connections with their faith or spiritual beliefs, and allowing space for them to express love, gratitude, and even say goodbyes, can bring peace. And when they’re unable to speak just holding their hand and letting them know you care can be enough. They just need to know they are not alone, highlighting the importance of compassion and presence in their journey.

Active listening while providing support is key. Allowing the patient space to express themselves in whatever manner feels authentic to them, while also offering emotional and spiritual support when they request it goes a long way in helping the person find a sense of comfort in their final days.

In providing emotional and spiritual support, it's advisable not to give the patient false hope. Companionship and emotional support are what the patient needs the most.

It can be helpful to restate what you are hearing. Emotions felt during this process are fluid in that there are many stages and varied feelings one can experience at any given time. Follow their lead and try to be present with them in whatever emotional state they are in. If they are expressing hopefulness, then support that. If they are fearful, recognize their fears are valid. If they are angry, help them to make space for that.

Talk to them, play their favorite music, listen to what they have to say and make them feel like a VIP, they have lived a life of ups and downs just like the rest of us and deserve respect and love at this point in their life and if they have no family, be that family to them. As I always told those I had taken care of in the past during this time, we will all be in that same position, rest and let me take care of you because you deserve it. Love them like your own family because they give more to you in that connection you made with them more than you'll ever realize

I like to embed these mantras You are enough, you did enough, everything will be cared by God now you did your best. Words of reassurance tends to calm the heart and allows for release and surrender.

It can be exhausting taking care of someone else, especially if you care for them and you see them suffering. In order to be a source of care and comfort for them you must first take care of your different needs, physical, spiritual, emotional and mental.

We strive to create a calm and soothing environment for patients, with soft lighting, gentle music, and familiar objects. This helps promote relaxation and comfort during their final days.

By Providing Comprehensive Health Care to Patients and Them The God is only an ultimate Truth. Bhaj Mann Narayan Narayan Hari Hari.🌷🙏

Listening to the patient and the patient's loved ones is incredibly important. Family comes in many forms, some biological and others chosen. Be inclusive, listen with intention, and tailor care to the needs of each patient. I think meeting them where they are is essential to foster a holistic end-of-life transition experience.

Agreed. This is something that happens frequently. The caregiver needs more some true time off for self care and needed break. Many times there is self doubt along with others who may say they know better. However, always remember you are doing the best you can with what you have. Never let anyone, including yourself that that away. What you are doing is a precious gift of love. Difficult. Brave. Wonderful.

As a Family Caregiver I was always able to provide better care for my mother when I also took care of myself. I was no help and no fun for anyone when I was burnt out. In the final days when mom was on hospice one of the ways I took care of myself was to hire more caregivers for mom so I could be there as a daughter more than a caregiver. Mother daughter time was something we both needed more of especially in that last month together.

Acho muito importante o cuidador ser cuidado tbm e ter uma carga horária justa.eu já tive uma experiência de ter cuidado de um paciente aonde cheguei ao meu extremo quase a exaustão,hoje não faria mas dessa maneira me dedicaria sim mas com bom senso.

Ask what is important to them…. What should we know in order to care for them the best way we can? Is there someone they would like to see, something they would like to do? How can we help them prepare?

The end of life process is tough for any family. Even the most experienced, educated and well connected Family Caregivers can struggle because you’re faced with the reality of your care journey coming to an end and your loved one will be gone soon. The emotions that come along with this can cloud your thinking. This is a time to find ways to bring ease and comfort for your loved one AND YOU the Family Caregiver. I asked the hospice team that came to the house for suggestions. I hired an End of Life Doula and extra professional caregivers so I could spend more time as a daughter then a caregiver in the last month of moms life. When people offered any kind of help I said yes. . Asking for and allowing help is very important at this time.

Take the time by yourself to evaluate what you think is most important. What relationships, what sensory comforts, what you want to say/do. Our goal is comfort with the least regrets. Use the social worker, the chaplain, the volunteer to help you provide what you have determined is best, and what your care partner has expressed that they want.

During challenging times as a caregiver, seeking assistance from others is essential for your well-being and the quality of care provided to your loved one. As a Board-Certified Patient Advocate, I understand the importance of leaning on others for support, especially in caregiving roles. I've even enlisted the help of another Patient Advocate who specializes in Cancer Care to help me navigate several caregiving journeys with family members. While I may fulfill the caregiver role, having someone dedicated to supporting me provides the strength and resilience needed to continue providing care effectively.

Recognize your own feelings of loss and sadness. Often the caregiver had been cared for in some form by the person who is dying. That expression of care from the dying person has shifted away from the caregiver, and that is a loss. Recognize this for what it is and seek support from family, friends, and support group, a therapist, clergy, or whoever you have available to help you.

Mom was on hospice at home. I wanted her to be a part of celebrating her life with people she loved BEFORE she passed. I told her I’d rather have her get the flowers, cards and hear all the wonderful things people had to say about her now rather than after she’s gone. She said she would like that. I contacted family and friends and asked them to send flowers, cards, letters etc to mom now rather than for condolences to me after she was gone. We had visits, video calls and people sent memories to share with mom. I cared for her for 10 years and had a month with her on hospice. I made sure we celebrated her life with her that last month she was alive. She left after beautiful moments, loving last words, flowers, cards and many long hugs

When my dad died, it was great comfort to share family photos and memories with the rest of the family. It was something I wish we'd done with him before he passed.

As nurses, our primary goal is to ensure the comfort and well-being of our patients, especially during their final days. Here’s a breakdown of how we strive to make this period as comfortable as possible: Our utmost priority is to alleviate any pain the patient may be experiencing. Through the use of medication and various pain relief techniques, we aim to provide relief and ensure their comfort.

Over the years, I have found that the more I am with the dying, the less we have of a need to talk. Just sitting with the dying person at their beside, and holding their hand, brings enormous comfort. I know this because they tell me so.

Simplicity and sensitivity are essential when acting as a caregiver in someone's final days. Begin by understanding their desires through straightforward conversations. Work with healthcare professionals to effectively manage pain and symptoms. Provide comfort by offering emotional support, sharing stories, or simply being present. Don't forget about self-care: take breaks and seek help when necessary. Include others in the caregiving journey to provide support and assistance. Finally, honor their life by recalling happy memories and participating in activities they enjoy, making their final days as comfortable and meaningful as possible.

We recognize the importance of supporting not only the patient but also their loved ones. We offer guidance, counseling, and practical assistance to help families navigate this emotional journey⬤