Your manager just gave you some constructive criticism. How can you avoid feeling defensive?
When your manager provides constructive feedback, it's natural to feel defensive. However, responding thoughtfully can turn this moment into an opportunity for growth. Here’s how to manage your emotions and respond constructively:
How do you handle constructive criticism at work? Share your strategies.
Your manager just gave you some constructive criticism. How can you avoid feeling defensive?
When your manager provides constructive feedback, it's natural to feel defensive. However, responding thoughtfully can turn this moment into an opportunity for growth. Here’s how to manage your emotions and respond constructively:
How do you handle constructive criticism at work? Share your strategies.
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Always consider multiple viewpoints before responding. Instead of reacting immediately to a manager or team lead’s suggestion, take a moment to step into their shoes. Understand their perspective, evaluate the situation, and then present your ideas thoughtfully. A balanced approach leads to better decisions and stronger collaboration.
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I used to get defensive, but I’ve learned to pause and really listen. I remember a time when a manager told me my communication needed work. At first, it stung—but I asked questions, got clear on what they meant, and worked on it. Over time, it actually became one of my strengths. Now, I even try to seek feedback out so I can keep growing. Feedback isn’t personal—it’s a chance to improve.
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A very important tip I learned to avoid feeling defensive when my manager gives me constructive criticism, is to separate the feedback from my identity! I learned that from my recently read book Radical Candor! It’s important to be open minded and to separate the feedback from your identity. Instead of taking it personally, see it as an opportunity to grow. Stay curious, ask clarifying questions, and focus on how you can improve. It's not about you that you are not good this time, it’s about how you can do better next time 😊 In those cases I recommend to stay humble and use this feedback to strengthen your skills!
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My primary strategy for handling constructive criticism is: EMPATHY. I seek the critic's point of view, asking, 'What would I do/feel in their place?' A recent late arrival, due to unexpected traffic and a forgotten phone, caused my manager trouble with a head office visit. His frustration was justified. I acknowledged his perspective, letting him vent before explaining. I understood his reaction, reinforcing the need for clear communication and viewing situations in other people'sperspective.
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Constructive feedback is a vital component of personal and professional growth, especially in high-stakes environments like media and technology. By managing emotional responses and engaging thoughtfully with feedback, individuals can transform potentially defensive moments into opportunities for self-improvement and enhanced leadership skills. This approach not only fosters resilience but also cultivates a culture of open communication and continuous learning, essential in navigating the complexities of emerging technologies and conflict analysis. Embracing feedback as a tool for development can significantly enhance one's effectiveness in a rapidly evolving landscape.
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Lee Chapman
Still Serving, Just Differently | Veteran | Mental Health & Armed Forces Advocate | MHFA
In leadership, especially in the military, constructive criticism is a tool for growth, not a personal attack. I handle it by: 1. Detaching Emotionally – Feedback sharpens performance, so I focus on the mission, not my ego. 2. Listening with Intent – I absorb the key takeaways instead of reacting defensively. 3. Seeking Clarity – I ask for specifics to fully understand and improve. 4. Owning It & Adapting – Acknowledging feedback and acting on it builds strong leadership. 5. Showing Gratitude – Appreciating feedback fosters a culture of continuous improvement. Great leaders embrace criticism to evolve.
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Here's how to handle constructive criticism without defensiveness, in a mature way: Listen: Focus on understanding, not reacting. Clarify: Ask specific questions for clear examples. Acknowledge: "Thanks for the feedback." Separate: It's about work, not you. Action: Ask for solutions and create a plan. Reflect: Learn from it, don't dwell. Professional: No excuses, just improvement.
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Constructive feedback is important to one's growth. I would first reflect on what was communicated, evaluate the scenarios and examples presented, and then ask for suggestions for improvement. It is a win-win for both parties and essential for team collaboration.
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Keep an open mind. For me, I always tell myself that I can’t control everything. Take another look at the criticism and see which areas I can improve within the next days and plan the harder ones for future references. At the end of the day, most of the feedback will help you. I also think most people always cave in to their doubts. That’s natural but you need to take a look at the other positive aspects you’ve done your whole career. Don’t let a feedback derail your years of experience. Speaking for the new employees as well, you’ll get better. A small experience is still experience so keep striving and take most of those criticism into your strengths.
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