Amish Guy

Eli's Father: Dear Amish Lord: Thou lookest sternly down upon us-thine flock-even though we did not do anything wrong, and have been doing chores like $&@%? crazy. Please make us humble and deliver us more hardship-that we may get thick calloused hands, much larger than other peoples; and grant that we become dull, like Eric Bana-who we have never seen but are just going by reputation-because it is your will. We solemnly believe that although humans have been around for a million years, you feel strongly that they had just the right amount of technology between 1835 and 1850-not too little, not too much. Please deliver us from Thomas Edison, the worst human being who ever lived, and protect us from those who laugh at our buggies or our hats. And deliver us from mustaches. Amen.