Once Upon a Madonna

A throwaway feature ripping off "Desperately Seeking Susan" is one of those botched movies in which one wonders if drug use addled the brains of the filmmakers, causing the finished product to make no sense. Either that or just a case (as is all too often) of making a crappy, stupid film on purpose -insulting the audience.

Erica Boyer stars as Susan, vaguely dressed in a trashy chic to simulate Madonna. Everyone wants to find her, after the roughie opening scene in which she f*cks John Leslie, then treats him to bondage, and an evil guy driving a classic British limousine (played by the director, Adam a/k/a Michael Phillips) offs Leslie. He's searching for an earring that Susan stole from Leslie.

The rest of the movie is just sex filler, some ridiculous dialogue, and an orgy ending, the last desperate act of a scoundrel pornographer. Familiar talent kills time, and as usual Joey Silvera trashes the project, mumbling stupid ad libs at the end. Nothing is resolved, on purpose.

Along the way, the Frisco-set junker tries to be like an underground movie, but is merely sloppy, not experimental. Little Oral Annie is thrown into the mix in a nothing role, merely there to deep throat cop Francois Papillon.

This resembles some early porn movies, such as those of Alex De Renzy, but absent their humor and inventiveness.