Junior

A bit too much of the first half consists of the country boys having a good old time and terrorizing the always half nude ladies. The raw sex and predatory stalking is fun for sicko fans, but not very frightening. It's all shocking, but I would have preferred some murder with my raunch. Due to the low body count it is inferior to the similar psycho films, "Truth or Dare", "Mother's Day", "Skinner", and "Eaten Alive".

This one's about two prostitutes who just got out of jail to start a new life in a small town, only there's one small problem, and it's name is Junior. The box makes it sound like this is your classic slasher flick, comparing itself to both "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "Nightmare on Elm Street" and clearly stating it's "a cut above the rest." Here's the problem with that, the movie's only 80 minutes long and the only things that die by the hour mark are a plant and a dog. But any movie that features a scene where a girl makes a gas bomb out of her bikini can't be all bad.

The rating 5/10, which I awarded to "Junior", is far too generous. I'm well aware of that. And yet, I can't help being mild for this insane and severely inept piece of Canuxploitation! The film is a bit of a mishmash between "Porky's", "I Spit on your Grave" and "Psycho". Interesting combo, to say the least, but it roughly just translates as juvenile (but welcome) nudity, tough chicks extracting vengeance, and a driveling maniac with a mommy complex. Although entirely filmed in ice cold Québec, the story supposedly takes place in the deep South. Two buxom babes, freshly released from prison, settle themselves in a lakeside town where seemingly only male hillbillies live. The craziest redneck of the bunch is named Junior, and he makes it his mission to terrorize the girls so that he can impress his mother. The scenes with "momma" form the most hilarious highlights of the film. She just sits there, on her porch, with a pair of binoculars in her hands and cheers for his idiot son from a distance. Momma can't be seen properly, but I strongly suspect she's played by a male actor, probably because the director couldn't find an old lady crazy enough to appear in his film. She/he isn't listed in the credits, neither. Despite the buzzing chainsaw on the VHS-cover, "Junior" doesn't contain much gore, suspense or action. Gratuitous sleaze, on the other hand, there is plenty! And jolly good, brainless fun as well.

I'm not at all familiar with the hicksploitation genre outside of its out and out horror entries, so Hot Water was a bit of an education for me. It definitely comes under the mantle of horror mind, but it isn't the slasher or TCM clone it was marketed as, more a fun and trashy, even suspenseful hicks plus city gals equals bad times tale. Hookers KC and Jo get released from jail and find themselves rich after a run in with their crazy aggressive pimp. They decide to head out and start a new life, which they plan to do by setting up a marina in a backwater town, not counting on despicable locals, especially a retarded momma's boy by the name of Junior, who proves to make their stay pretty stressful, as well as the mean local sheriff. I was a little bothered by the pairs lack of logic here, I'm all for female empowerment and all that chit and KC and Jo make for highly appealing heroines, but I can't see anyone other than the most bull headed no brain trying to set up shop in a territory where just three people like them, as opposed to literally everyone else. Still, their unbelievable stubbornness marks them out as appealingly spunky and its good to see a film like this where the female leads have proverbial balls from the get go. The comely Suzanne DeLaurentiis (daughter of Dino?) is a blast as the tough and brassy KC, though I would have liked her even more had she not been sporting brunette hair as opposed to her seemingly natural red, since as we all know redheads are awesome to the max. Linda Singer is a nice contrast as the blonde and ditzy Jo with an amusing habit of talking about movies at relevant but inopportune moments and they have a fun chemistry, supported by Michael McKeever and Cotton Mather as their charming beaus. On the villainous side of things Jeremy Ratchford is effectively sleazy and unpleasant as Junior, packing a good lumbering menace, while Ken Roberts is suitably officious and scummy as the sheriff. The smart pace and build up of events is what really gives this one a kick though, things start with unwanted intrusion but grow to attempted rape, fish-hook violence, a terrific chainsaw attack and verbal abuse a-plenty amongst other things, lots of fun stuff here and a bodacious, surprisingly intense finale. The big downside is that there really isn't much in the way of bloodshed here, there are a few bits where full on brutality would have really worked but it just isn't there (although what is there was still enough to make the astoundingly cretinous BBFC of 1986 cut this one by nearly ten minutes for its UK video release. There's a bit of nudity though, which is pretty rad as the stars are fine. Overall this is real solid stuff, sweet locations, decent amount of the good stuff, could have packed more punch but still cool, check it out says I.

JUNIOR is the story of two perfectly-made-up, super model "inmates", named K. C. and Jo (Suzanne DeLaurentis and Linda Singer) and their adventures after getting out of prison.

After suffering and escaping the travails of their fiendish pimp's assault, K. C. and Jo wind up under siege by Neanderthal hillbillies.

In between attacks, they find time for being latched onto by leeches, romanced by a local Romeo, and nude sunbathing.

JUNIOR is a ludicrous, developmentally stalled "thriller" from the glorious 1980's. The heinous hicks are terribly, awesomely portrayed, helping to turn this mess into an idiot classic!

The title character's (Jeremy Ratchford) pop-eyed lunacy is unsurpassed! Then, there's "mama" the mute-man-in-a-wig matriarch of the slimy clan. A total hoot!

The best character by far is K. C. with her Tawny Kitaen mane. She's also the only one who seems to have a pulse, and acting ability.

For this movie it's important to be sufficiently inebriated. Even then, you'll either laugh, cry, or smack your brain with a pipe wrench over this one...