Elusive

Jimmy: Last year, when I was crashing at my friend Keegan's house, on his couch, I accidentally ate a whole bag of marijuana Sour Patch Kids because I thought that they were normal, non-marijuana Sour Patch Kids, and at some point in the ensuing five hours, I purchased three spicy Popeye's chicken sandwiches and fed them, one after another, to Keegan's iguana. And -- and it died. Keegan asked me what happened afterwards, and uh... I told him it was an act of God. But we both know God would never act like that.