Sophie's Parents

Mark Corrigan: [has just shot down a pheasant] I got it! I got one, I got one!

Jeremy Usborne: [unimpressed] Congratulations. You've killed a sentient being.

Ian Chapman: Well done, Mark. But you only winged it.

[the pheasant is lying on the ground, twitching]

Mark Corrigan: Oh, is that not...?

Ian Chapman: No, you've got to finish it off.

Mark Corrigan: Oh, right.

[he points his shotgun at it]

Ian Chapman: No, don't shoot it! God!

Mark Corrigan: [raising his foot above it] What, shall I?

Ian Chapman: Don't stamp on it! Jesus. Wring its neck.

Mark Corrigan: Its neck?

Ian Chapman: Yes, wring its neck, it's suffering.

Mark Corrigan: [voiceover] This is the ultimate good impression test. If I can do this, I'll never have to carve a chicken or discuss spark plugs or prove I love his daughter.

[he picks up the pheasant]

Ian Chapman: Now, be careful you don't...

[Mark accidentally wrenches the bird's head off. Blood spurts out]

Ian Chapman: Oh, Mark. You've pulled its bloody head off.

Mark Corrigan: [horrified] There's blood all over me!

[Sophie appears with a bag]

Sophie Chapman: Teas, coffees for the huntsmen!

Jeremy Usborne: No teas for the beastmaster, thanks. He feasts on the blood of his prey.