Letters to Louise

ALSO BY LOUISE L.HAY

BOOKS/KITS

Colors & Numbers

Empowering Women

Everyday Positive Thinking

Experience Your Good Now! (book-with-CD)

The Game of Life

A Garden of Thoughts: My Affirmation Journal

Gratitude: A Way of Life (Louise & Friends)

Heal Your Body

Heal Your Body A—Z

Heart Thoughts

I Can Do It® (book-with-CD)

Inner Wisdom

Life! Reflections on Your Journey

Love Your Body

Love Yourself, Heal Your Life Workbook

Meditations to Heal Your Life (also available in a gift edition)

Modern-Day Miracles

The Power Is Within

You Power Thoughts

The Present Moment

The Times of Our Lives (Louise & Friends)

You Can Heal Your Life (also available in a gift edition)

You Can Heal Your Life

Affirmation Kit

You Can Heal Your Life Companion Book

FOR CHILDREN

The Adventures of Lulu

I Think, I Am! (with Kristina Tracy)

Lulu and the Ant: A Message of Love

Lulu and the Dark: Conquering Fears

Lulu and Willy the Duck: Learning Mirror Work

CD PROGRAMS

Anger Releasing

Cancer

Change and Transition

Dissolving Barriers

Embracing Change

The Empowering Women Gift Collection

Feeling Fine Affirmations

Forgiveness/Loving the Inner Child

How to Love Yourself

Meditations for Personal Healing

Meditations to Heal Your Life (audio book)

Morning and Evening Meditations

101 Power Thoughts

Overcoming Fears

The Power Is Within You (audio book)

The Power of Your Spoken Word Receiving Prosperity

Self-Esteem Affirmations (subliminal)

Self-Healing

Stress-Free (subliminal)

Totality of Possibilities

What I Believe and Deep Relaxation

You Can Heal Your Life (audio book)

You Can Heal Your Life Study Course

Your Thoughts Create Your Life

DVDs

Dissolving Barriers

Embracing Change

You Can Heal Your Life Study Course

You Can Heal Your Life, THE MOVIE (also available in an expanded edition)

CARD DECKS

Healthy Body Cards

I Can Do It® Cards

I Can Do It® Cards . . . for Creativity, Forgiveness, Health, Job Success, Wealth,

Romance

Power Thought Cards

Power Thoughts for Teens

Power Thought Sticky Cards

Wisdom Cards

CALENDAR

I Can Do It® Calendar (for each individual year)

and

THE LOUISE L. HAY BOOK COLLECTION

(comprising the gift versions of Meditations to Heal Your Life, You Can Heal Your Life, and You Can Heal Your Life

Companion Book

__________________________

All of the above are available at your local bookstore, or may be ordered by visiting:

Hay House USA: www.hayhouse.com®; Hay House Australia: www.hayhouse.com.au;

Hay House UK: www.hayhouse.co.uk;

Hay House South Africa: www.hayhouse.co.za;

Hay House India: www.hayhouse.co.in

Louise’s Websites: www.LouiseHay.com® and www.HealYourLife.com®

Copyright © 1999, 2011 by Louise L. Hay

Published and distributed in the United States by: Hay House, Inc.: www.hayhouse.com • Published and distributed in Australia by: Hay House Australia Pty. Ltd.: www.hayhouse.com.au • Published and distributed in the United Kingdom by: Hay House UK, Ltd.: www.hayhouse.co.uk • Published and distributed in the Republic of South Africa by: Hay House SA (Pty), Ltd.: www.hayhouse.co.za • Distributed in Canada by: Raincoast: www.raincoast.com • Published in India by: Hay House Publishers India: www.hayhouse.co.in

Editorial supervision: Jill Kramer   •   Design: Jenny Richards

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any mechanical, photographic, or electronic process, or in the form of a phonographic recording; nor may it be stored in a retrieval system, transmitted, or otherwise be copied for public or private use—other than for fair use as brief quotations embodied in articles and reviews—without prior written permission of the publisher.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2009933430

Tradepaper ISBN: 978-1-4019-2727-1

Digital ISBN: 978-1-4019-2952-7

14 13 12 11     6 5 4 3

1st edition, February 1999

3rd edition, January 2011

Printed in the United States of America

CONTENTS

Introduction by Louise L. Hay

Chapter 1: Abuse

Chapter 2: Addictions

Chapter 3: Aging

Chapter 4: Careers

Chapter5: Death and Grief

Chapter 6: Dis-ease

Chapter 7: Education

Chapter 8: Emotional Problems

Chapter 9: Family Relationships

Chapter 10: Fears and Phobias

Chapter 11: Friendship

Chapter 12: Gay and Lesbian Issues

Chapter 13: Health

Chapter 14: Inner Child

Chapter 15: Parenting/Children

Chapter 16: Prosperity

Chapter 17: Romantic Relationships

Chapter 18: Spiritual Well-Being

Chapter 19: Women’s Issues

Chapter 20: Miscellaneous

• New Letters to Louise

APPENDIX

Self-Help Resources

About the Author

INTRODUCTION

by Louise L. Hay

This book is a collection of letters I’ve received and answered over the years from people all over the world. The letters express deep concerns about many areas of life. Almost all of the people who have written to me have wanted to change themselves—and their world—in some way. In my replies, I have tried to be the catalyst that helps these individuals accomplish their goals. I think of myself as a stepping-stone on a pathway of self-discovery. I create a space where people can learn how wonderful they are by teaching them to love themselves. That’s all I do. I’m not a healer. I’m a person who supports people. I help them discover their own power and inner wisdom and strengths, and I help them get the blocks and the barriers out of the way so they can love themselves no matter what their circumstances.

Perhaps you will see some aspect of yourself in these pages. It is my belief that by reading about other people’s challenges and aspirations, we can see ourselves and our own problems in different ways. Sometimes we can use what we learn from others to make changes in our own lives. I hope this book will allow you to realize that you, too, have the strength within to change, and to find solutions on your own—that is, to seek the answers that are within you.

Some of the ways to find the solutions within are through tools such as affirmations, mirror work, and visualization.

For those of you who are not familiar with the benefits of positive affirmations, I would like to explain a little about them. An affirmation is really anything you say or think. A lot of what we normally say and think is quite negative and does not create good experiences for us. We have to retrain our thinking and speaking into positive patterns if we want to change our lives.

When we talk about doing affirmations, we mean that we make a positive statement about something we want to change in our lives. Too often we say, I don’t want this in my life, and we forget to state clearly what we do want. To say, I don’t want to be sick anymore does not give the body a clear picture of the health we would like to enjoy. Nor does saying I hate this job produce a great new position. To create the new experiences we want, we need to clearly declare our desires.

Affirmations are like planting seeds in the ground. First they germinate, then they sprout roots, and then they shoot up through the ground. It takes some time to go from a seed to a full-grown plant. And so with affirmations, it takes some time from the first declaration to the final demonstration. So be patient.

Mirror work is another valuable tool. Mirrors reflect the feelings we have about ourselves. They clearly show us the areas that need to be changed if we want a joyous, fulfilling life. The most powerful way to do affirmations is to look in a mirror and say them out loud. I ask people to look in their own eyes and say something positive about themselves every time they pass a mirror. They are immediately aware of any resistance and can move through it quicker.

Visualization is the process of using the imagination to achieve a desired result. Put most simply, you see what you want to happen, before it actually does happen. For example, if what you want is a new place to live, picture a house or an apartment that you want, being as specific as possible. Then see it as if it were already true. Affirm that you deserve it. See your new home with you in it going about your daily routine. Imagine this as clearly as you can, knowing that there is no wrong way to visualize. Practice your visualization frequently, turning all results over to the Universal Mind, and asking for your highest good. Combined with positive affirmations, visualization is a powerful tool.

Remember that through affirmations, mirror work, and visualization, we can come to realize that the answers really are within us.

I have arranged the letters in this book by categories (listed alphabetically) such as addictions, death/grief, family issues, fears, relationships, and so forth. Each category is a chapter, and there are 20 chapters in all. Each chapter begins with a meditation and ends with affirmations to help you find your inner strength. At the end of the book, you will find a Recommended Reading list and Self-Help Resources for further growth and exploration.

The past has no power over me because I am willing to learn and to change. I see the past as necessary to bring me to where I am today. I am willing to begin where I am right now to clean the rooms of my mental house. I know it does not matter where I start, so I now begin with the smallest and easiest rooms, and in that way I will see results quickly. I close the door on old hurts and old self-righteous unforgiveness. I visualize a stream before me, and I take the old, hurtful experiences and put them in the stream and see them begin to dissolve and drift downstream until they dissipate and disappear. I have the ability to let go. I am now free. To create anew.

Chapter One

ABUSE

Many of us come from dysfunctional homes. We carry over a lot of negative feelings about who we are and our relationship to life. Our childhood may have been filled with abuse, and perhaps that abuse has continued into our adult lives. When we learn early about fear and abuse, we often continue to re-create those experiences as we grow up. We may be harsh with ourselves, interpreting the lack of love and affection to mean that we are bad and deserve such abuse.

We need to realize that we have the power to change all of this. All the events we have experienced in our lifetime up to the present moment have been created by our thoughts and beliefs from the past. We do not want to look back on our lives with shame. We want to look at the past as part of the richness and fullness of life. Without this richness and fullness, we would not be here today. There is no reason to beat ourselves up because we didn’t do better. We did the best we knew how. We often survived dreadful circumstances. We now can release the past in love and be grateful that it has brought us to this new awareness.

The past only exists in our minds and in the way we choose to look at it in our minds. This is the moment we are living. This is the moment we are feeling. This is the moment we are experiencing. What we are doing right now is laying the groundwork for tomorrow. So this is the moment to make the decision. We can’t do anything tomorrow, and we can’t do it yesterday. We can only do it today. What is important is what we are choosing to think, believe, and say right now.

As we learn to love ourselves and trust our higher Power, we become co-creators with the Infinite Spirit of a loving world. Our love for ourselves moves us from being victims to being winners. Our love for ourselves attracts wonderful experiences to us.

The following letters relate to the topic of abuse:

Dear Louise,

My father was an alcoholic, and I endured a lot of mental and physical abuse. At 16 I became pregnant by a boy who treated me badly. His parents arranged for me to go to a home for unwed mothers, which was like being in prison.

A little piece of me broke off in that home. Maybe it was all of the lies that I had to tell my friends and family about where I was going. Maybe it was the unbearable hurt of feeling like no one really loved me or would ever care. Maybe it was feeling like a wimp because I couldn’t walk out of there with my baby, like some of the other girls did. Whatever it was, I stopped being able to look people in the eye. I have been to many therapists to get over this pain, but nothing has had an impact on me as much as your book You Can Heal Your Life.

Though I’m just getting started, I’ve already put your affirmations on cards and have taken them to work. Still, my life seems very painful. I know I have suffered a lot of painful feelings, but it’s a hard cycle to break. As a consequence of all the stress I’ve been under, my hair is beginning to thin. This has upset me tremendously. I’ve been doing affirmations for that, but I feel a lot of resistance.

Louise, for the first time, I know that my thought processes have to change. I don’t want to live my life the way I have in the past.

Dear One,

Many of us were mistreated as children and grew up with a negative view about life (I was an abused child, too). We are often afraid of feeling good about ourselves because this is a totally unfamiliar space. I know that people who have been battered and abused feel lots of anger and resentment. They usually have low self-esteem and do not feel good enough. As a result, there are certain things you have acted out in your life with little or no understanding of their roots.

It is time to forgive yourself. The greater intelligence of the universe, that which I believe to be God, has already forgiven you; now it’s your turn. We are all magnificent in the sight of God. You can choose to stop punishing yourself, or you can continue to feel like a victim of circumstances. Affirm right now: I LET GO OF THE NEGATIVE EVENTS OF THE PAST. I AM WORTHY OF HAVING PEACE OF MIND AND HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS. I CREATE LOVING EXPERIENCES IN MY LIFE EACH DAY. Tell yourself, I let go, every time you feel the pain and the guilt. And follow that with I am healing this very moment.

As you establish a habit of saying these things every time you cannot look someone in the eye or when you cannot tell yourself that you love yourself or when you feel like a bad person or when you are not feeling loved or even recognized for the special person you really are, you will begin to show a tremendous difference in your self-esteem.

Remember, though, you must be consistent with this work in order for the subconscious to pick up on these new messages. There may also be a lot of resistance (some of which you are already experiencing). That’s okay. It is only fear trying to protect you. It may take you some time to reassure yourself.

Dear Louise,

My sister and I were physically and emotionally abused and neglected as children. As a result of this, I rejected my parents as role models early on and looked to other families for guidelines. However, old memories still haunt me, and now I have more nightmares about my mom than ever. I feel like there’s tons of emotional pain deep inside me that keeps seeping out, and someday the dam will break and so much pain will flow forth I’ll be drowned.

Should I just tell my parents that I don’t want any contact between us anymore? I really don’t wish them any suffering, but I wish I would never have to see or hear from them again, and I want the pain to go away.

Dear One,

Rejecting your parents for the time being is probably a good thing for you to do. It seems that the only way they can cope with their guilt is to go into denial. You are not here to heal them; you are here to heal yourself. You can drop them simple notes from time to time.

To begin your own healing, I think it would be a good idea to write your parents a letter, spilling out everything from deep down in your gut. End it by saying, It is time for me to heal and to learn to love myself. Then, burn it and visualize all of the resentment and hurt going with it.

However, this alone will never make all the pain go away. Do connect with a practitioner or call Al-Anon Family Headquarters at (888) 4-AL-ANON (425-2666). Al-Anon programs can help in many areas, even if alcohol was not the primary source of abuse. Help is all around you. Reach out for it and know that the Universe is ready to help as soon as you ask. Affirm: I AM READY TO BE HEALED. I AM WILLING TO FORGIVE.

Dear Louise,

I hope you can help me out. My husband is very abusive, physically and mentally. He treats me like a maid and is always yelling at me and making unreasonable demands. He has been diagnosed with cancer and is taking radiation. My daughter overcame drugs and is getting her life back on track, but her nerves are very bad. I am also responsible for my adopted grandson’s tuition in ministerial school, and I am afraid this financial responsibility is going to drain me.

I feel overwhelmed. Can you help me deal with everything on my plate?

Dear One,

Of course you are overwhelmed. For goodness’ sake, dump your plate, and take a vacation! Get away from all of them while you sort out your priorities. This is your life. No one can abuse you or take advantage of you without your permission. Where is the love you once had for yourself?

All positive changes begin in consciousness. I, too, was taught as a child to walk two steps behind a man and to look up and ask, What do I think, and what do I do? I was also taught to accept abuse as normal. It took me a long time to realize that this behavior was not normal, nor was it what I as a woman deserved. As I slowly began to change my belief system, to change my consciousness, I began to develop self-worth and self-esteem. As I did, my world changed.

Your world can change, too. You need help in changing yourself. Get some counseling. Join Al-Anon. Consult your telephone directory, and call a counseling