How To Raise An Alpha Child

Prologue

A STRONG, INTELLIGENT, capable, and happy child? Yes!

That is my definition of an Alpha child. The term itself, Alpha has nothing to do with bullying! It has everything to do with being confidant, well-rounded, fit, and focused.

I recall as a child playing outside until the streetlights came on and my mother yelling at us to come in for dinner. We ran, climbed trees, and rode bicycles. There were no cell phones or computers. There also were no epidemics of childhood diabetes, toxification of children with anti-depressives, school shootings or suicides.

I am a father myself. I struggled with the challenge of raising two daughters. Finding the balance between being overprotective of them, trying to shield them from the world, yet have them be happy and self-reliant.

I watched with disdain as I saw the huge rift between education, i.e.,

K-12 education, university and real-world learning became a chasm. My own introspection revealed that of all my many years in the US education system, only three subjects were relevant in real life. What were they? Specific courses in Time Management, speed reading, and Spanish.

The first two were not even part of the curriculum. I sought them out and paid out of pocket. The speed reading saved me in graduate school. The time management I learned in an NCO course in the Army.

THE GRAMMATICAL STRUCTURE and written Spanish rounded out the base ability I already had. However, the endless pontificating as to the deep meaning of the works of Cervantes, though interesting, held no real value for me.

The speed reading...that was another story...

One of the most interesting facts I learned in this intense two-week course was the reading ability of the average college freshman was that of a 9th grader. Further, that the reading ability of the average inmate in prison was that of a fifth grader. This fact really struck me hard.

I took this course in 1989 prior to showing up my first semester in Graduate School. I can only imagine what the reading abilities of a college freshman are as I write this book in December 2022. Suffice to say that comprehensive reading ability has a huge impact on society as well as the children in our own home.

With this knowledge, I vowed to raise my own two daughters with a wholesome balance of real-world skills alongside the standard educational requirements of the US school system. So, in addition to algebra, social studies, and ancient Egyptian history, I taught my kids what I considered real world skills necessary to survive and prosper in a challenging world.

By the age of 12, my daughters knew how to read a map and compass, find where they were in both a city and a forest. They knew how to plan escape routes from our home in the event of an emergency such as a fire, home invasion, or flood. They knew how to make a fire from scratch, cook a meal, do CPR and basic first aid, as well as self-protection both with and without weapons. And...how to swim.

Our many discussions an impromptu trainings ingrained self-reliance and creative problem solving in them from a young age. With a Colombian mother, they were bilingual from the start. As they progressed from grade school to college, I watched with gratitude that they did not suffer the same emotional catastrophes as many of their peers. I hope my observations and the detailed research of many of the authors referred to in this book will aid you and your journey to having a well-rounded, confident child. Let's begin!  

The Challenge

PARENTING THAT IS TOO protective is undoubtedly done with good intentions. For a child to develop into a capable, resilient, and self-assured adult, a parent wants to ensure that they are protected from harm when they have children. However, children of overprotective parents often have quite the opposite effects, which last far into adulthood. Overprotective parenting can be detrimental to children's development.

What Is Overprotective Parenting?

The prefix over immediately conveys a negative meaning, as the phrase suggests. It suggests that being overly protective has negative impacts since it is overdone.

Parents that are too watchful or helicopter parents aim to safeguard their kids from harm, whether it be psychological or physical. They wish to shield their kids from hurt, suffering, misery, unpleasant experiences, rejection, failure, and letdowns.

They attempt to do this by: 

providing constant supervision and limitations, wanting to regulate their children's surroundings, actions, and the people they choose to spend time with, becoming overly involved in their daily lives and decisions, and always emphasizing the importance of safety and dependence over independence and exploration for their children.

Their overall goal is to keep children safe from everything that can endanger their wellbeing. That's why they frequently construct a golden cage for their kids; it protects them from harm, but it's still a cage. These kids could be reluctant to extend their own wings and fly as adults as a result.

When these kids grow up, they still