CPR for the Grieving Heart: How I learned to love my life again

Front Matter

Copyright ©2021 Margaret Stoiber

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission of the author, Margaret Stoiber

Published in in the United States of America by Moonbow Publications

Printed in the United States of America by Ingram Spark

Catalog-in-Publication data for this book is available from the

Library of Congress.

ISBN 978-1-7342798-8-7

Cover design by Sherry Levitsch

Artwork by Samuel Stoiber

Layout by Sue Carlson

Image Credits

Shaft of Wheat

Pearson Scott Foresman, Public Domain https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Barley_(PSF).png

The Intersexes – Separator – Note 2

Edward Irenaeus Prime-Stevenson, Public Domain https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:The_Intersexes_-_Separator_-_Note_2.png

While the author has made every effort to provide correct internet addresses at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for errors, or for changes that occur after publication. Further, the publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for the author or third-party websites or their contents.

Dedication

For Mark - I’ll love you forever, too.

For our three children

Maddie, Sam, and Kate

My heart overflows with love for you, always

Author’s Note

To my dear family and friends, thank you!

You have supported me and held me in your heart with much love throughout the years. It has been a long road and you have all helped me. Every act of kindness has brought me to where I am today and this has all played a role in my growth and recovery. I know if you had not been in my life, something would have been missing.

This is the latest version of my truth. I’ve written and rewritten this book many times. My story will continue to evolve as I learn and grow more, however I decided to stop here. I am quite shy and more than a little nervous about sharing my innermost thoughts with the world. However, with all of you supporting me, I know I am going to be all right.

I love you!!

Forward

by Madeline Stoiber

Look mom- I’m in a book! And it’s yours! 

Bad, but opportune, jokes aside, it’s pretty rare you get an opportunity to write a forward in your mom’s published book. That makes sense though, because my life has been a beautiful series of rarities all thanks to my mom

It’s rare to grow up in a house where creativity, magic, and individuality are fostered from day one. It’s rare your parents believe in and push you to pursue your dreams, no questions asked. It’s rare you’re taught the qualities of empathy, understanding, and patience are just as important as strength and perseverance. It’s rare your family is able to stay together and grow stronger after a tragic loss. And it’s really rare your mom turns the one of the hardest and most difficult moments in her life into a book to help others.

My mom does not see the world like everyone else. For her, even the darkest corners hold a chance to learn, grow, and become a more understanding person. This book will not only give you a peek into her unique perspective, but also a chance to read some of the words I heard growing up. Words that gave our family the foundation to heal, words that made me look within myself to grow, and words that guided me to become the successful woman I am today. 

As you can see, my mom is a true rarity. I would be nowhere without the lessons I learned from her and the immense sacrifices she made. I hope this book finds a way to heal your heart, just like my mom healed mine.

Forward

by Kate Stoiber

As I am sure you will learn through reading this book, the author lost her husband unexpectedly one July day in 2010, leaving her with three children to raise on her own. I happen to be one of those children, the youngest one.

My brain was only ten years old when it was struck by grief and, to put it succinctly, I did not come out unscathed. The unexpected nature of my dad’s passing short-circuited something in my brain into thinking that the next catastrophic event was always moments away. I developed severe anxiety that my mom was permanently in a state of danger. During any moment of separation, I would almost always become panicked that she had unexpectedly been taken from me just like my Dad. This was the darkest and loneliest time of my life. 

Even the most understanding and patient people grew frustrated with my constant state of anxiety. There was one standalone though, one person who never judged me. One person who never called me crazy. One person who had to come home early from parties and answer fifty calls in the grocery store. One person who had to pick me up every day from school, so I didn’t come to an empty house and panic. One person who refused to let me go through this alone. This person was my mom.