Women And Men In My Life

PART   ONE

WOMEN

1. Devyani Chaubal

Witty and malicious, Devyani had no respect for the tinsel stars

Dharmendra was known to be a bit of a stud; Devyan’s account made him out to be a superstud. She wrote about how he serviced two to three starlets every day in the studios before he returned home to do his ‘homework’ on his wife’s bed. Dharmendra was understandably very upset He waylaid her one afternoon near the racecourse.

I have very little interest, hence lesser knowledge of Hindi films and film stars. When persuaded to see one, I have rarely sat through it to the end. I find Hindi films too obvious, too contrived and absurd beyond belief. There are few actors and actresses whose talent I admire but find most of the others loud and unintelligent. I have never subscribed to a film journal and know next to nothing about the private lives of these tinsel stars.

When I first arrived in Bombay in 1969 to take over the editorship of The Illustrated Weekly of India, I found scores of film magazines delivered to me free of charge. I began to turn over their pages to see the photographs they published. The only texts I could bear to read were those written by Devyani Chaubal. They were witty and malicious and written in a khichdi of Hindi-English terminology I had not come across before. I was charmed by the way she threw in Hindustani words like lafda, hangama, borobar, bhaav, bindaas, chaaloo, khalaas, and scores of others in her narrative and dialogue. While going through her columns, I picked up a lot of spicy gossip about film personalities.

It was evident that Devyani had no respect for the men and women she wrote about. She mimicked their speech, mocked their pretensions and had a hearty laugh at their expense. I wanted to get to know her.

I wondered if she was any relation of Nalini Chaubal who had worked for me for a few days in London. Nalini was a frail, sallow-complexioned girl whose room had been burgled by a thug who thought she was a princess. All he got was a necklace made of glass beads.

When she came to see me she was in a state of shock. I persuaded High Commissioner Krishna Menon to give her a job as a clerk and asked her to move into my house for a few days. Soon after she returned to India and I lost track of her.

It was at a lunch party in a restaurant in Churchgate. There was a large crowd of mediapersons present. A tall, heavily built young woman came and introduced herself, ‘I am Nalini’s younger sister, Devyani.’ She was a couple of inches taller than me, of more than ample girth, light-skinned and with curly dark brown hair. She had a beautiful face with full lips and long eyelashes curving up like scimitars. She was draped in a white sari with large floral patterns. Her voice was husky. I could hardly believe she could be the sister of the petite Nalini. We spent the lunch hour together and agreed to see more of each other.

Thereafter we met once almost every week. Her whereabouts always remained a mystery to me. She never told me where she lived, her telephone numbers were constantly changing.

She usually dropped in on me in the office and spent an hour gossiping away about the film world. She was a wonderful mimic and made film celebrities appear as silly as they were. She left me in splits of laughter.

It was sometime later that she agreed to see me in my apartment and she used to talk away while I was having my drink. She did not touch alcohol. I often took her out to dinner parties to which I was invited. Our hosts were always happy to receive her because she was quite a celebrity. On a couple of occasions she accompanied me to stag parties where blue films were shown.

She did not touch a drink and ate very little. She never let anyone drop her home and invariably took a taxi. Who her other male friends were I never got to know.

Devyani had more than her share of trouble writing the way she did on film personalities. Once she wrote about a male actor who had had a short spell of success but was then on the decline. She prophesied that his days were over and a small mercy it was.

A few days later she went to a film party at Sun-n-Sand on Juhu beach. Not many guests were eager to talk to her, so she went out in the garden and sat down on a parapet overlooking the sea.

Two young men spotted her sitting alone and came lurching towards her. They were sons of the man she had denigrated in her column. Without warning they showered her with the filthiest of abuses. One boy emptied a bottle of beer on her head while the other continued to warn her what they would do to her fat behind the next time she wrote that kind of thing about their father. Devyani yelled ‘bachao, bachao’, but no one came to her help. She had no friends.

She went to the police station and lodged an FIR against the two boys. The next morning she came to my office to tell me about the incident. With tears streaming down her face she repeated over and over again what the boys had threatened to do to her, ‘We’ll bugger you bloody bitch till your fat bum is blue; we will f … you till you scream for help’. etc. I wasn’t sure whether Devyani was really hurt or enjoying living through the experience by repeating the threats.

On another occasion she wrote a very bitchy piece on Dharmendra allegedly based on an interview he had given her. He was known to be a bit of a stud; Devyani’s account made him out to be a superstud. She wrote about how he serviced two to three starlets every day in the studios before he returned home to do his ‘homework’ on his wife’s bed. Dharmendra was understandably very upset.

He waylaid her one afternoon near the racecourse. Devyani tried to run away, but with her bulk and floppy sari she could not get away from the athletic Dharmendra. He gave her the choicest Punjabi abuse and slapped her. Once again Devyani lodged an FIR at the police station.

The news made the front pages of all the Bombay papers. Far from defending her, I wrote in my column that if she had written the same kind of thing about me, I would have rewarded her the same way as did Dharmendra.

Dharmendra came to thank me; the police quashed the charge of assault of beating against him. I had to face a very angry and tearful Devyani. She let me have it.

Oddly enough this did not end our friendship. We continued to meet as before. She introduced me to many film stars. She took me to Raj Kapoor’s home theatre where we saw the opening scenes of Satyam, Shivam, Sundaram, and dined with him and Zeenat Aman.

She was my passport to every film preview and film party. More than the previews and the parties I looked forward to Devyani’s mimicry of the people we saw and met.

There are some women whose beauty lies in their bulk. Devyani was one of them. No sooner than they lose weight, they lose much of their charm. But Devyani was very self-conscious of her size and visibly upset when she overheard someone refer to her as ‘woh motee aurat’. Despite my pleadings and warnings she went on a crash course of dieting. She was never a big eater and she hardly took any exercise excepting rushing between her office to parties and cinema shows.

Depriving herself of the little food she ate did her no good. She did lose weight. But where there was firm flesh, now there were wrinkles. She also lost a lot of her lovely curls.

The last time I saw her in Bombay was at the Gymkhana Club. Before I could say anything she said, ‘You know how much weight I have shed? Look.’ She turned, pointing to her bare midriff. All gone. And don’t you tell me slimming down does not suit me.’

I did not want to hurt her and so I remained quiet.

A few months later after I had returned to Delhi, I heard Devyani had been stricken with paralysis. One side of her was completely numb. She could no longer go about; her right side had ceased to function.

The government of Maharashtra provided her with an apartment and domestic help. Devyani had to do her columns dictating them to a stenographer. I don’t know how she manages to write about film people she no longer meets and about films she no longer sees.

I wrote her a long letter protesting my everlasting affection for her and asking her if there was anything I could do to be of assistance to her. After a month I got an answer. It was a typed letter - unsigned. She thanked me for my letter and offer of assistance. She did not need any. She is too proud to ask for help.

I have been to Bombay many times since but have not had the courage to call on her. I want to preserve the image of the Devyani Chaubal I had known: fat, full of life, malicious gossip, mimicry and a zest for life.

2. Sadia Dehlavi

She gave them bhaav but never her hand in marriage

The forty-five-year difference in our ages did not make the slightest difference … Although often seen with me, I meant to keep our friendship to ourselves. Not Sadia. She proclaimed from the housetops and in interviews to Bombay’s gossip magazines said, ‘the only man in my life is Khushwant Singh’.

It was at an exhibition of Amina Ahuja’s calligraphy that I first met her, in 1987. ‘Come, let me introduce you to Sadia Dehlavi,’ said Amina taking me by my hand and leading me to a girl sitting on a moorha in the middle of a crowded room. The girl didn’t bother to get up. She simply gaped at me with her large, luscious eyes. Her jet-black hair cascaded in curls round her oval face. There was nothing I could think of saying to her except blurting out, ‘Why are you so beautiful?’

Her face flushed with joy as she put out her hand and replied: ‘If you think I am beautiful, I must be beautiful,’ or words to that effect. I had not caught her name and asked her to tell me again. ‘Sadia Dehlavi,’ she replied. ‘You must have heard of the Dehlavis of the Shama group of journals. I am Yunus Dehlavi’s daughter. I edit an Urdu magazine, Bano.’

I spent an hour talking to her. I invited her to my home to meet my family. From that day to the time she married Reza Parvez and left for Pakistan, Sadia remained my closest friend. The forty-five-year difference in our ages did not make the slightest difference. Nor the fact that she came from a conservative Muslim family well known in northern India and I, an aged Sikh, was often described by the gutter press as ‘the dirty old man of Delhi’. Although often seen with me, I meant to keep our friendship to ourselves. Not Sadia. She proclaimed from the housetops and in interviews to Bombay’s gossip magazines said, ‘the only man in my life is Khushwant Singh’.

Sadia was emotionally very promiscuous. And utterly outspoken. She talked to me by the hour telling me of the many men in her life. She had made a disastrous marriage to the scion of a family which ran a leading Urdu daily in Calcutta. Her husband was mother-ridden and prone to violence. She divorced him and returned to her parents’ home. She was a restless character, ever changing her jobs and