​Planning to get back with your ex? Ask yourselves these questions first!

Let’s be honest, getting over the ex is no cakewalk. Given that you have known this individual for a while, there is a sort of comfort. And turning to a new relationship is hard work all over again. We all might indeed have thought of getting back together with the ex at some point. But before you dive in, take a step back and ask yourself these crucial questions.
What went wrong?

Breakups don’t happen randomly. You broke up with him/her/them for a reason. As yourselves what went wrong in the first place (or last, if you have a habit of turning to ex often)? Was it a lack of communication, trust issues, or fundamental differences? If the core problem remains unresolved, chances are history might repeat itself. Remember both or all the parties involved in this relationship should understand what went wrong.

Are you and your partner wanting to get back together?
Rekindling a past relationship can be exciting, but it also comes with challenges. Before making the decision, it’s essential to reflect on whether this is truly the right path for both of you. Remember, a relationship only works if both or all the parties involved in it, truly want it to happen. If both you and your partner/partners want to give it a try, go ahead, but with caution.
Do you miss the person or are the past?

After a tough breakup, it is normal that you miss this person. It’s natural. You have spent time with this person, he/she/they might have been your emotional support when you needed it, and you would have developed a habit of having them around. But the void itself isn’t enough to get back to your ex. If you are downplaying the red flags and only focusing on the green, maybe think again.

Have both of you truly changed?

Ask yourselves if you and your partner have changed in terms of the problem that led you to break apart. Time apart can lead to growth, but has it been enough? If the same problem persists, getting back together might not be the best idea. There is only hope for light if you both realize what went wrong and grow beyond that. Do not tell yourselves that ‘it will be different this time’. It won’t be. Nobody can guess that, but the chances are really narrow. Are you willing to bet on that almost invisible chance?

Time changes everything. Your expectations from a relationship change as you grow. What you sought in your teenage years won’t necessarily be what you want today. If one of you wants something casual while the other is looking for commitment, it might lead to more heartbreak. First, ask yourself what is that you want from this rekindled relationship. You will get the answer. Now communicate whether your ex has the same expectations.
(Pic courtesy: iStock)