The Most Important Letters at the PLCB Are Not "U" or "I"

The most important letters at the PLCB are C...Y...A. That's right; the agency runs on Cover Your Ass. Have a look.

In the Winter/Spring issue of the PLCB propaganda magazine "Taste," they had, on the cover, featured a drink called the Aviation, which requires creme de violette. It is a crucial ingredient in the cocktail, a necessity. But the PLCB didn't sell creme de violette at the time, except as a "special liquor order" (the aptly-named SLO) with a minimum order of six bottles. It sure seemed like they were telling anybody who wanted to make the drink featured on the cover of their own magazine -- who didn't want to spend $100 on a six-bottle SLO -- to go out of state to buy the proper ingredients. Of course, after having that pointed out, the PLCB approved creme de violette 2 months later. I'm not sure if it is really on the shelf yet, and how long will it be before they decide it isn't meeting their Five Year Plan of Sales and de-list it...again?

This isn't the first time the PLCB has put drinks in their rag that you can't make if you're stuck shopping at the State Stores, and I'm sure it won't be the last, either. ..again.

Get it while you can...or go out of state...again

Of course the most famous incident of CYA in the PLCB was when they tried to hide the whole wine kiosk fiasco as documented here. Nothing like trying to destroy evidence to inspire confidence in a public organization. Then there was the whole TableLeaf (and others) house brand disaster, and again, somehow all the paperwork on who instituted the idea, who initially approved it and why - all of that has disappeared.

We can go back to the big Oracle upgrade that went more than 200% over budget ($25.8M to $66.6M) because the PLCB couldn't read and understand the contract they signed. The Auditor General had a great time with that one, stating, "This raises questions about the PLCB's ability to adequately contract for information technology solutions." And that wasn't even the first time that was brought up by the AG. That earlier report is no longer on line at the AG website but I have a copy if you want to read it.

In fact, just reading all of the AG audit reports show a history of CYA. Remember the smile training that the husband of a senior PLCB official "won"? While the AG did say it was legal -- barely -- that didn't stop the PLCB from authorizing a second year as if to rub it in. Strangely enough, customer complaints increased.

We're happy to get you anything you want (if that has been authorized by people who know nothing about the liquor industry)!

"Each board member evaluates each license application on its own merits, thoughtfully deliberating over each decision and voting as he deems appropriate," says Elizabeth Brassel, Mistress Of Propaganda PLCB. Except when the Democratic Governor asks the Democratic Chairman to change his vote, like just happened when the Board "Freed The Six-Pack"....in a whole nine stores. That's about 1,416,667 people per "freed" store. I hope they hired extra cashiers.

Lining up for them freed six-packs; thanks, Wolfman!

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Why Its Not Safe To Go Into The Woods - A PLCB Horror Story

Not satisfied that their stupid laws, random enforcement, idiotic "interpretations," and never being checked for underage sales are killing enough citizens, the PLCB figures that having more stores open with longer hours for the start of hunting season fits their goal of  "...an exercise of the police power of the Commonwealth for the protection of the public welfare, health, peace and morals of the people of the Commonwealth...:

So while DUI, Underage DUI, DUI Fatalities, Underage DUI Fatalities, Binge Drinking, and Underage Binge Drinking is worse in PA than most of the border states, apparently drinking, driving to game lands, and hunting is perfectly acceptable and even encouraged by the PLCB.

They are getting sneaky about it too. In my first blast at this insane policy in 2013 they put out a separate announcement stating that these stores would be open early just for hunting season.  I'd link to it but the PLCB no longer  has it listed. In 2014 they combined it with the Thanksgiving holiday extended hour increases as shown here. Now they are trying to just outright hide the fact they are expanding store hours for hunting season by not listing it at all.  When you look at this year's announcement there is no mention of  Holidays or Hunting Season. All you get now is a flat "The following stores will have extended store hours in late November." However, if you look at the stores that are open or have extended hours on November 30th it is only because of hunting season.

So if you find yourself in the woods on November 30th, remember that the PLCB did their best to make sure all those people with guns were able to get liquor. I wonder how many cows would survive if they didn't ?

The PLCB annual report - Let's look at some numbers

By all accounts, the PLCB had a good sales year. Well, hurray. It's nothing to brag about -- though they will, and have -- since they are the only game in town. The population grows (slowly, but it grows), the economy gets better, and people spend more money on booze. It isn't because the PLCB is doing a good job; it is because the citizens have no other choice.

PLCB touts "record sales": report shows net income down

That doesn't stop the PLCB from presenting their annual report as if they had something to do with the growth in sales. Here are some things they crow about in the report:

1. License fees returned to local municipalities $ 4,521,545 -- If the PLCB didn't get in the middle, local communities would get this revenue as a regular stream when businesses paid for their licenses TO THE LOCAL COMMUNITIES.

2. Philadelphia and Allegheny counties received $8,269,803 in returned local sales taxes. -- Again, if the PLCB wasn't in the middle, the taxes would be collected and distributed anyway. It must be nice to crow about following the law...except, of course, when it comes to trips and gifts for senior level PLCB employees.

3. Paid Total Annual Rent of $42,034,434 for 606 stores. -- This begs the question of how much rent would be paid if there were 2400 or so private stores? 2400 stores is about what the national average is for a population of almost 13 million.

4. Tweets sent: 723. -- Now this is pretty funny. A $2 billion enterprise managed to send out fewer tweets than my 16 year old niece does in a month. And then they go on to say that the PLCB was mentioned 2,516 times. This post counts as one of those mentions, just as an example, and so does this: "Hey @WolfForPA, can you do something about the PA Liquor Control Board, like get rid of it? ‪#‎priorities‬ ‪#‎wine‬ ‪#‎freedom‬" (tweeted by @mainlinehousewife on Nov. 4)

5. Updated the Fine Wine and Good Spirits eCommerce site with 'complete and accurate product names,' product descriptions and standardized acronyms. -- Really? From the people who completely cocked up the beer registration list just a few years ago? Let's look at just a couple easily-found examples.

George Dickel Tennessee Whiskey. The No. 8 brand is listed in the bourbon section and the No. 12 brand is listed in the Whiskey section

Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey has one listed in the bourbon section "Jack Daniel's 1St Edition Straight Bourbon Master Distiller Collection" Which only exists in the mind of some PLCB employee since Jack Daniel doesn't label ANY of its whiskeys as "bourbon." Not one. All the others are listed in the Whiskey section as they should be, except for one that is in the Blended Whiskey section; but Jack doesn't do blended whiskey either. I will give them credit though: it only took them 80 years to finally learn how to spell "Jack Daniel's" correctly. I pointed out mistakes on that as recently as this past spring.

6. Also restructured the website search engine to allow searches using misspelled words, abbreviations, and synonyms producing much improved search results for customers. -- Let's see how that works.  Sticking with Jack Daniel's type in Jack Danial's into the search box.  You only misspelled it by one letter putting an "a" instead of an "e" in Danial's. The result.....a page and a half of Calico Jack rum first, but JD does show up on page 2.  

How about we just forget the "'s" and put in Jack Daniel into the search box.  Again a page and a half of Calico Jack rum and then the JD on page 2. An improvement! ...until you realize that if you spell Jack Daniel's correctly and search for it, you still get a page and a half of Calico Jack rum first! The trick, apparently, is to just put in Daniel's, and you'll get all the JD  listings. Just don't misspell it or forget the "s" or the apostrophe, because then you get nothing contrary to what the PLCB says. Not quite ready for prime time and certainly not a product a $2 billion company should be proud of.

I can find a lot more but let's look at some money.

Sales on the captive Pennsylvania population did go up 3.2%, which is to be expected, given that the state has a monopoly and overall spirits and wine sales were up nationally. But Gross Profit only went up 3%...and Net Income (which in a 'real' business would be called 'Profit') went down by 3.6%! Wondering why? Here's a clue: operating expenses went up 5.2% (which is a lot, considering what it bought them, as we'll see in a bit). Operating income went down, even though the much-ballyhooed 'bailment' is in effect (where the PLCB doesn't pay for a product until it leaves the warehouse). Contributions to the BLCE went up 4.1 %, but BLCE enforcement of border bleed is at the lowest it has ever been. Oddly, during this record alcohol sales year, the amount that went to Drug and Alcohol programs went down 3.6%, which seems a little contradictory, given the 'control' mission of the PLCB.
 
Don't overlook another big one: Return on Assets (usually called Return on Investment) went down 14.8%! ROA gives an idea as to how efficient management is at using its assets to generate earnings. Also, even though there was only 1 more store than last year, wages as a percent of sales increased an astounding 18.3%, which is not a good indicator of efficiency either.

Of course, a real business has to list all their debts on their reports to shareholders...and I don't see the over $600 million that is the PLCB share of the pension debt listed anywhere. Maybe it doesn't count since the taxpayers and not the PLCB have to cover it. 

Like any business with a PR department, the PLCB tries to put on its happy face when reporting on what a super duper job they are doing, but the end result is still less selection, less convenience, higher prices, no real increase in safety, and certainly more aggravation for the consumer than in states with a privately-run liquor retail and wholesale industry. One only has to travel to see that for yourself.

In The Public Interest? What are they thinking?

Contrary to what you may think the PLCB isn't all bad. They, along with 34 Happy Valley establishments have put a major dent in the drunken spree known as State Patty's Day and they tried to curb the drinking at Kutztown by limiting hours although that didn't work. 

However, I really can't figure out why the PLCB has extended the hours of some stores for hunting season. Drinking and driving isn't enough we have to add firearms into the mix too?  They really need to explain how making sure that people with guns have increased access to alcohol, courtesy of the state store system, is in the public interest. (Before you climb on your high horse - yes I am a gun owner.)

http://www.finewineandgoodspirits.com/static/pdf/Extension_of_HolidayHours_2013.pdf

PLCB renews liquor license for convicted felon's nuisance bar: way to go, Joe!

Watch this video from Philly's NBC10, then tell me: is there any doubt that this is not just an agency that has outlived its usefulness, but one that is not even competent to perform the duties it has? After watching this report, I have to conclude that the PLCB has either made a policy of lying to the public, or has fostered such an atmosphere of incompetence that they actually don't know what they're doing. This is an agency in need of such re-working that it's time to do away with it. Tear it down, and start over, without the mistakes.