Back in the Civil War days, with which I’m pretty familiar since working on a series in the early ‘90s called the Civil War Journal (A&E, hosted by Danny Glover) there was a phrase.

“I’ve seen the elephant.” It was the mid-19th century answer to “been there, done that,” meaning, I’ve been to town, been around, seen every exotic thing you could see including an elephant in America.

This is a photograph of my mom Geraldine, taken around 1968 or 1969. If I’m not mistaken, it was shot by my brother at the Patsy Awards, which were televised award shows for animals. Scruffy, the dog from the Ghost and Mrs. Muir television show in which I played Candy, was nominated for a Patsy Award. I was a presenter. Milton Berle hosted the show.

Looking back, I think Berle was pretty pissed to be hosting a show called the Patsys where animals get the awards and kids are your presenters. That other phrase, “never work with animals or children,” came about with good reason. They will upstage you.

Plus he must have just been annoyed that it was called The Patsys.

Before the program began filming, I remember Berle was on the stage outdoors (the Patsy’s were held outside because, well, some of the attendees were elephants) and warming up at the mic.

He was incredibly foul mouthed. He cussed up a whole lotta potty mouth as I recall. My mom Geraldine marched me across his path with a brisk determination that showed her disapproval. I was pretty horrified, too, though now I’d be a little less judgy because as it turns out adult Kellie has some good bad language skills, too.

There’s another Milton Berle story I have tucked away in my head, even written out somewhere, from when I was in my mid-20s and ran into him at a wedding. He was still foul mouthed, only this time in a wheelchair. That’s another story for another day.

In the meantime, here’s a picture of my mom, looking quite pleased that she had seen the elephant.

September, 1969 School Daze

“IT’S BACK TO SCHOOL… for millions of children including Harlen Carraher (l) and Kellie Flanagan who play Jonathan and Candy Muir in the 20th Century-Fox Television’s "The Ghost and Mrs. Muir” debuting its second season Thursday, Sept. 18, 1969.“

This is a publicity pic for second chances. The Ghost was dropped from CBS after its first year, despite an Emmy win by Hope Lange, and not-too-quickly picked up by ABC for a second, and wholly different, season.

Suddenly Candy saw the Captain, and brought about one of my favorite episodes, Puppy Love (of course I adore that one because it focuses most especially on the character Candace Muir and also my actual neighborhood friend Johnny got to be in it, too, which made for a very fun week on set and in school on the lot at 20th on Pico in LA).

I very clearly remember the day early in ‘69 when my mom came by St. Monica’s Catholic school in Santa Monica (Saint Monica being the patron saint of lost cause sons, incidentally) to give me the news.

No longer being schooled on the set, my return from trailer-school to parochial education was pretty seamless (if you don’t count the time I raised my hand because I had to throw up - that did not turn out well).

So Geraldine, my mom, picked me up early which was a clue that something was up, as was her demeanor — unusually excited. She always dressed well, and that day was no different. I remember holding her hand and watching her spectator pumps moving quickly on the sidewalk leaving the classroom at St. Monica’s.

"What’s the most exciting, best, most unimaginable thing that could happen?” she pressed, fully telegraphing the proper answer with her extra dose of perfume and dark red-lipped, really broad smile.

I looked up from the street she was practically dragging me along now to get to the car and head to the agent’s to sign papers.

“That the Ghost would come again?”

“Yes!” she said, “The Ghost has been ‘picked up,’ we’re back in the Business, kiddo!”

This was good news indeed. The only reason I’d been out of school lately to pick up my every-Wednesday unemployment money ($65 cash, babies. Mom got $60 and I got to keep $5 each week which was HUGE for a kid that age in those days! Still is.).

I didn’t really know then what “picked up” meant for television, only that we were back and I could return to trailer set school days where our teacher, the lovely and charming Mrs. Bone, would handle Harlen and me for a max of three hours each day. She had a hilarious sneeze.

Happy Back to School everybody! Apples aweigh.