[Drivingforfun]

He he he

I heard a couple of old blokes in a waiting room a few weeks ago complaining about the price of a pint in a pub, then they went onto the cost of whisky...One of them said he couldn't understand why people pay so much for old whisky when you can get a new bottle in the supermarket

[olduser]

Whiskey?
Oh yes I remember, Ethanol and water used to wash old barrels out, then bottled and sold at a high price!😏

[Drivingforfun]

Hehehehe

I have to say, I've been learning a lot about whisky over the last year and I don't really find a huge benefit to super old whiskies

Very young ones I do find rough but after about 12-15 years the price rises exponentially and diminishing returns start to kick in with regard to the improvement

[Rolebama]

So Santa was feeling particularly harassed and stressed. The elves were threatening to strike for better pay and shorter hours, the reindeer had diarrhoea, and Mrs Claus was threatening divorce It was at this moment the fairy came in with the Christmas tree. "Where shall I put this, Santa?" she asked. And that is why we put a fairy on the top of our trees.

[olduser]

I thought you were going to say that's how the toilet brush was invented.😲

[Drivingforfun]

Sorry in advance

My Dad is a mobile maintenance person, one of his sites is a milk bank (women donate breast milk for parents who can't produce their own, good cause). He said he was offered a tea or coffee and I said I'd have made sure to ask for it black 😳

[olduser]

Station car park sign says, "Waiting Only"???

[Drivingforfun]

I saw a man driving today while pouring McDonalds chips into his mouth from the packet, like it was a drink 😆

[olduser]

And I thought modern cars didn't have a choke!

Makes you wonder, if a policeman stopped him would he have a chip on his shoulder?

[Rolebama]

What a wonderful thing technology can be - until....

[Rolebama]

Came across these: Have to say, I am amazed the first one isn't in use by my local Council.

[Drivingforfun]

My dad did a stint on the modern slavery unit in the police, and often had to go into premises that were suspected of modern slavery offences

Some common businesses were hand car washes, takeaway restaurants, nail bars, and brothels

One day he was on a job and they'd had to do a raid on one of these premises. My mum phoned him at work to ask where he was and why he was late. He replied that he was currently in a brothel, sitting next to a prostitute, sorting through a big pile of bank notes on the bed and there was a big muscly man who had just been put into handcuffs

I don't think there's many jobs where that wouldn't result in divorce 😂

[Rolebama]

Found these, courtesy of Highways Agency?

[Rolebama]

I think this is someone's equivalent of our 'No Hard Shoulder for X Yards'.

[olduser]

Before I was born, my dad was a Lines man for the Electricity board, they looked after the distribution system in the boards area including the high voltage pylons.
Each pylon would be checked for broken insulators, loose bolts, loose connections, damaged cables, etc., the section being worked on had to be isolated so it all had to be done quickly.

Each gang had two climbers, who went up, the rest would help carry heavy stuff, and so on.
The day before, the other climber had pulled off a joke at dad's expense.

This day, dad noticed there were an odd number of pylons on the work sheet so he worked it so the other climber did the first, so dad would have 1 pylon less than his mate that day.

There was a rope down from the climber to the ground, they had a system of signals for the top man to ask for tools or whatever, once attached the top man could haul them up.

On the last pylon of the day, the top man (dads on the ground) signals trouble!.
Dad gets his kit, and climbs up, fasten on, and asks what's the matter, there was a long pause then his mate says, "have you noticed how quiet it is up here?"

[Rolebama]

Both my wife and oldest daughter insist they are 21 on every birthday. Well I can't quite match that but I am only 23 in Centigrade.

[olduser]

According to my granddaughters I'm 13 but today I am too hot so I feel very very old. It looks as though we have this heat for a few more days, bring back the rain, or even a bit of snow would be nice.

[olduser]

I drink Lemon tea. (Lift brand, common in vending machines)

Carer just came into my room, "would you like a lift".
Only half hearing her I said, "No thanks love, I use hospital transport".
She went out looking puzzled...

They do blood sauger level checks on patients at dialysis, nurse approaches bed next to me, says to patient, "are you diabetic?" the patient replied, "no pet, I'm Catholic"

Patient with one leg in wheel chair preparing to get onto a bed, nurse says, " do you need some help ?" Patient, "no pet I can manage thanks", Nurse, "but you only have one leg!" Patient, "thanks pet, I wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't said".

Memo to me, be careful what you say;
In taxi for hospital transport, none native driver, car passes, very fast, all noise and sun glasses.
Driver, "He fast!"
Me, "yes, he will be rushing to his next crash"
Soon after, driver turns off satnav route,
Me "Have you another pickup?"
Driver, "no, save time, going round fast man crash"