
Life
· Aug 21, 2025
· 39
Introvert Bites Down On Cyanide Capsule As Waiters Start Singing 'Happy Birthday' To Him
RIVERDALE, UT - A tragic scene ensued last night, as an introvert bit down on a cyanide capsule at his own birthday dinner as soon as the waiters star...

U.S.
· Aug 21, 2025
· 57
Trump Orders Smithsonian To Display Exhibit Of Old Cracker Barrel Logo
WASHINGTON, D.C. - As part of his comprehensive overhaul of America's national museums, President Donald Trump ordered the Smithsonian to display an e...
Latest

Meet Hannah, The New Fully Clothed And Chaste A.I. Assistant From The Babylon Bee
Tech · Aug 21, 2025
· 76

College Graduate $200k In Debt Celebrates New Minimum-Wage Job By Shopping For A $750k One-Bedroom Home At 20% Interest
Life · Aug 21, 2025
· 41

'We Don't Have Money In The Budget To Tithe,' Says Family Currently Spending $30K Per Year On Travel Baseball
Church · Aug 20, 2025
· 67

Trump Says Following Brief Phone Call, Hurricane Erin Has Agreed To Change Course
Climate · Aug 20, 2025
· 60

Getting Out Of Hand? Newsom Orders Aide To Shoot Off His Ear
Politics · Aug 20, 2025
· 44

Meet Hank, The Autistic Chimpanzee Who Runs Gavin Newsom's X Account
Celebs · Aug 20, 2025
· 53
Buzzing

Sponsored
· Aug 20, 2025
· 100
10 Ways Babies Are Smarter Than Liberals
While babies are undeniably cute, they aren't too bright. Yet, despite being unable to talk or poo on a potty, babies are still significantly smarter ...

U.S.
· Aug 20, 2025
· 77
California Issues Commercial Driver's License To Stevie Wonder
LOS ANGELES, CA - The California state government is once again under fire after the revelation that it issued a Commercial Driver's License to famed ...

Politics
· Aug 19, 2025
· 113
10 Questions You Should Be Able To Answer In Order To Vote
With President Donald Trump making election reform a priority, cleaning up the process and determining qualifications for voting are important. Who sh...

Media
· Aug 19, 2025
· 91
8 Possible Names For MSNBC's Exciting New Rebrand
Beleagured cable news channel MSNBC has rebranded itself as MS NOW, but that wasn't the only new name considered. The executives at the network report...
Must Read

Sports
· Aug 18, 2025
· 89
Dallas Cowboys Relieved To No Longer Be Gayest Team In League
FRISCO, TX - After witnessing the debut of the Minnesota Vikings' new male cheerleaders, the Dallas Cowboys expressed relief that they would no longer...

Christian Living
· Aug 20, 2025
· 85
God Agrees To Let Trump Into Heaven If He Repents Of His Sin And Trusts In Jesus Christ Alone For Salvation
HEAVEN - Celestial sources report that in response to hearing of President Trump's hopes for getting into heaven, God has agreed to let Trump into His...

Church
· Aug 19, 2025
· 57
Men's Bible Study Once Again Derailed By Mention Of Nephilim
CHINO HILLS, CA - A men's Bible study was suddenly derailed when one of its members decided that the time scheduled for the study of Romans was the ri...

Politics
· Aug 20, 2025
· 66
Trump To Receive Nobel Prize For Getting Zelenskyy To Wear A Suit
OSLO - The Nobel Committee has officially announced that President Trump will be awarded the prestigious Peace Prize for getting Volodymyr Zelenskyy t...
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Premium
· Aug 21, 2025
Now On Bee Minus! The Buzz #014: Trump Negotiates With Heaven
The Babylon Bee is buzzing about Trump's recent comments about what he needs to do to get into heaven and also how he is vowing to do away with mail-i...

Premium
· Aug 20, 2025
· 46
Welcome To The Babylon Bee, New Subscribers!
Thank you and welcome to all the new premium subscribers who have joined after the launch of The Babylon Bee's brand new video streaming platform, Bee...

Premium
· Aug 15, 2025
· 16
New On Bee Minus! The Buzz #013: A Wedgie Beats Depression
The Babylon Bee is celebrating the much anticipated launch of Bee Minus! They are abuzz with the news of Trump fighting crime in D.C., Disney losing t...

Premium
· Aug 14, 2025
· 28
New Video - Woke Jesus Returns
Woke Jesus is back with a new collection of socialist teachings for your edification. Listen and be inspired. More episodes coming soon!
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· 107

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· 12

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