The prize for winning the
Art & Artifice Limerick competition is complimentary admission to this year's
Handbags at Dawn: Intellectual Property and Fashion conference, which takes place on 22 September in Central London (speakers include Art & Artifice bloggers Simone and Rosie, with Jeremy in the chair). To remind readers of the rules, competitors had to compose a limerick which opened with the words "A stylish young model from France" and contained the word "handbag". Many entries were received -- and we thank everyone for making the effort to come up with something original. While we can't publish all the entries, we've chosen some of the best, which we place before our readers for their amusement and delectation.
From Jade-Amanda Laporte came some entertaining rhymes, of which this was the best:
A stylish young model from France
Was greatly in need of romance.
With a new handbag and dress
And intention to impress,
She went out at once in a prance
Hayley Devlin (Hamlins LLP) also pursued the France/romance theme:
A stylish young model from France
Developed a handbag romance
Hermes and Dior
and so many more
Left the poor girl needing finance
Peter Smith (Serjeants) let us have the following offerings,
A stylish young model from France
Had a handbag that drew every glance.
Which worked out for the best
As the way that she dressed
Was determined completely by chance.
A stylish young model from France
Gave a surgeon the eye at a dance.
But his hope was forlorn:
It was "handbags at dawn"
When her breasts he proposed to enhance!
A stylish young model from France
Worked her finances out in advance:
By posing in lad mags
Her "handbags and glad rags"
Were paid for without Granddad's grants.
Grace Smith, like Peter's third limerick, picked up the financial theme:
A stylish young model from France
Stared at a shop window in trance
A handbag was calling
In love she was falling
But cash flowed so poorly – no chance
From the pen of Aaron Wood (Wood TMD) came these two entries, the first being described as having "the overtone of truth", the second being "the fun one":
A stylish young model from France,
Had a counterfeit handbag by chance
The bag was in satin,
The brand was not latin,
So she took a quite “laissez-faire” stance.
A stylish young model from France,
Was lacking in true elegance
From her handbag – a Birkin
She downed a full firkin
And developed a wobbly stance
Finally, from the fertile, febrile mind of poet-in-residence Jonathan Caruana (Wilson Gunn) comes a veritable epic:
A stylish young model from France
Took, when shopping, this bargaining stance:
Finding fake goods, she'd cry,
"You'll be jailed! (Unless I
Keep my silence... Cash, please, in advance)".
Thus, blackmailing pedlers she'd profit
(Or at least get a large chunk knocked off it).
Her wardrobe grew vast
With the fakes she'd amassed
Without slimming effect on her wallet.
While she dressed with quite fabulous style,
There was something amiss all the while:
Gloves, handbags and heels
All had plasticky feels,
And the shoes lasted less than a mile.
Then one day, on the red carpet posing,
She stood, with cheap dress clips unclosing...
'Til her seams came unstitched
And her hosiery unhitched,
And the substandard dye
Had left stripes on her thigh,
And the paps snapped with glee
At the peepshow for free
—The contrite blackmailleur
Blushing, cried, “Sacrebleu!”—
For she stood in the Emperor's clothing.
Now I hope you this lesson observed:
That—though seemingly money's conserved—
An elegant label
Is nought but a fable,
If sewn into place undeserved".
Well done, Jonathan -- I think this worthy entry nudges in ahead of the others. We look forward to seeing you at the conference.
