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2017 Monster Raving Loony Manifesto

The Monster Raving Loony Party 2017 manifesto proposes many satirical policies, including giving out free woolly hats to pull the wool over people's eyes, giving tax payers loyalty points for paying taxes, nationalizing political parties and crime, cutting letters from the alphabet due to austerity, and replacing Trident missiles with three-pronged forks. It also suggests fundraising events for schools, allowing voters to change their votes, and marking fast food as containing traces of real food.

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osen10
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145 views1 page

2017 Monster Raving Loony Manifesto

The Monster Raving Loony Party 2017 manifesto proposes many satirical policies, including giving out free woolly hats to pull the wool over people's eyes, giving tax payers loyalty points for paying taxes, nationalizing political parties and crime, cutting letters from the alphabet due to austerity, and replacing Trident missiles with three-pronged forks. It also suggests fundraising events for schools, allowing voters to change their votes, and marking fast food as containing traces of real food.

Uploaded by

osen10
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd

OFFICAL MONSTER RAVING LOONY PARTY - 2017 General Election Manifesto

We will stand on a platform of free woollen hats for all, so we can more easily pull the wool over
peoples eyes.

Taxation
Tax payers to receive Nectar Points (UK’s biggest customer loyalty programme) from HMRC (Her
Majesty’s Customs and Revenue – UK Hacienda)

Nationalisation.
The Loony Party will nationalise all political parties… and if they don’t keep their manifesto
promises… we will sell them off to the lowest bidder.

Law and Order.


We will nationalise crime to make sure it doesn’t pay

Austerity
Due to the fact that the Government have made cuts in almost everything in existence, the loony
party proposes to cut the letters of the alphabet… Starting with the letters N. H. and S.

Educational funding
The Loony Party proposes that all Schools have a jumble sale, fete or other fundraising event at least
twice per month to help raise funds for those little extras… such as desks, books, paper, pens etc.

Electoral Change
The Loony party propose that voters will get a 30 day cooling off period during which, if they
change their minds or didn’t like the result or didn’t know what they were voting for, they can get
their vote back.

Reduce the voting age to 16 (carried forward from our 1983 manicfesto) … (nicked by labour))

Immigration policy
One in one out (carried forward from our 2015 manicfesto (nicked by UKIP))

Economy
We will further complicate the UK tax system so that large companies can no longer find loopholes.

Pensions or How to get the grey vote…


In keeping with the Labour Party’s latest bid to get one or two pensioners to vote for them, they
have brought out a new policy guaranteeing the ‘triple lock’* on pensions until 2025 if they get
voted in… The Loony party of course will go one better and buy a very large padlock.

Note: *The triple lock guarantees that the basic state pension will rise by a minimum of either 2.5%,
the rate of inflation or average earnings growth, whichever is largest

Defense
We will replace the Trident missile... with a three pronged fork

Environment
We will change the English symbol of three lions to 3 badgers. How often do you see lions running
round the countryside?

All food sold in fast food establishments should be clearly marked “May contain traces of real food”

Social Media
All Social Media sites to be taken down for one day a year for a “Remember when we used to talk”
day.

Transport
We will only paint yellow lines where you CAN park,

We will rename the current Oyster travel cards, ‘Sardine Cards’ to better reflect the experience when
travelling on public transport

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