Feedback and Performance Reviews

I just watched a brilliant young mind quit after his first performance review.  The system didn't fail, it worked exactly as designed. And that's the problem. A close friend's son called me yesterday asking for advice. This kid has always been exceptional - top of his class, and one of the most hardworking young minds I know. He joined a company last year, excited to prove himself. His first performance review just happened. They put him on a PIP for "team collaboration issues." Here's what actually happened that past year: + On-time, flawless project delivery. + Zero complaints from stakeholders. + Often stayed late to get things right. But he wasn’t loud. He didn’t hang around in Slack threads and coffee chats or networked just for the sake of being visible. He focused on the work. And that somehow became a problem. When he called me, his voice was shaking. "I keep questioning myself. Maybe I really am terrible at my job." Just imagine an A-player, now doubting his entire future because our review systems punish introverts, misfit metrics, and non-traditional brilliance. I told him what I'm telling you: You're not the problem, kid. The system is. Four decades in this industry, and this still breaks my heart every time.  We're crushing exceptional talent with processes designed for a different era. We measure yesterday's activities instead of tomorrow's potential. The best leaders understand that real performance happens in real-time, not annual reviews. They coach continuously, celebrate wins immediately, and address challenges before they destroy confidence. ✅ Netflix eliminated performance reviews entirely.  ✅ Adobe replaced them with ongoing conversations.  ✅ Google shifted to quarterly goals with continuous feedback. These aren't experiments, they're competitive advantages. While traditional companies waste months on review documents nobody reads, smart organisations invest that time in actual development conversations that drive results. We need to replace annual reviews with monthly check-ins that matter. And most importantly, replace the assumption that people need to be "reviewed" like products with the understanding they need to be supported, challenged, and trusted to grow. That young man will find a company that values his work ethic over his small talk skills. His former employer will keep wondering why they can't retain talent while using the same broken processes. The difference will transform one organisation and devastate the other. So, stop managing performance like it's a quarterly report. Start enabling it like it's a human being's career and dreams. #performancereviews #thoughtleadership

Performance conversations are more than evaluations—they're opportunities to inspire reflection, growth, and clarity. I've been reflecting on how we can approach these moments with greater purpose.   Too often, we dive into discussions focused solely on outcomes or metrics. But what if we paused to look deeper? What if we encouraged employees—and ourselves—to approach these moments from different vantage points: stepping back to observe like a fly on the wall, zooming out to the balcony for perspective, and then engaging with purpose on the dance floor?   This layered approach challenges us to ask meaningful questions: "What patterns am I noticing? How do my efforts align with broader goals? What could I do better?" It’s a mindset shift that transforms performance conversations into opportunities for growth, even when outcomes aren’t ideal. Here are a few practical ways to bring this perspective to life: 1. Start with Observation (Fly on the Wall): Before diving into feedback, encourage employees to reflect on their contributions objectively. Ask questions like " What moments felt like your strongest? What would you approach differently? help set a tone of self-awareness." 2. Zoom Out to the Bigger Picture (Balcony): Help employees see how their work connects to broader team and organizational goals. This shift in perspective ensures the conversation isn’t just about isolated outcomes but about long-term impact and alignment. 3. Engage with Purpose (Dance Floor): End every conversation with actionable steps and encouragement. Even when feedback is tough, leave employees with clarity and optimism. A simple affirmation like "I believe in your ability to grow from this", can turn a challenging moment into a catalyst for improvement. Performance conversations are a dance between reflection and action, but they’re also about perspective—knowing when to step back, when to zoom out, and when to engage fully. When we guide our teams to critique their own contributions—not to judge, but to grow—we unlock their potential and leave them inspired to improve. Would love to hear your perspective.

"Why does our top performer get the worst reviews?" the VP asked me. I was reviewing their annual performance data. "Show me," I said. She pulled up the ratings. Diana: 2.8 out of 5. Below average on "collaboration." Low marks for "team player." "What's her actual performance?" I asked. "Exceeded every target. Landed our biggest client. Trained three new hires." "So why the low scores?" "Her peer reviews are dragging her down." I scanned the comments. "Too direct." "Challenges ideas too much." "Not supportive enough." "Let me talk to Diana," I said. "I used to give honest feedback," Diana told me. "Said our pricing model was broken. Got dinged for 'negativity.'" "What happened with the pricing?" "They finally fixed it six months later. After we lost two major accounts." "What else?" "I questioned why we needed  eleven approvals for a simple contract change. Manager said I wasn't being collaborative." "Are you still giving feedback?" "No. I learned my lesson. Now I smile. Nod. Say everything's great. My reviews are improving." "But nothing's actually improving?" "We're making the same mistakes. Just with better vibes." She chuckled. I went back to the VP. "Your review system doesn't measure performance," I said. "It measures compliance." "That's not true." "When was the last time someone got promoted for challenging bad ideas?" Silence. "When did someone get rewarded for preventing a mistake?" More silence. "You've trained your best people to stay quiet. And your mediocre people to stay nice." A few months later, they redesigned the system. Added a category: "Constructive Challenge." Points for identifying problems early. Rewards for preventing costly mistakes. Diana got promoted. "What changed?" I asked the VP. "We stopped confusing agreement with alignment. Stopped mistaking silence for harmony." "And?" "Turns out our 'difficult' people were our most valuable. They actually cared enough to speak up." Here's the truth about performance reviews: Most companies don't reward performance. They reward performance theater. The person who says the meeting was great beats the person who says it wasted an hour. The person who agrees with bad ideas beats the person who prevents disasters. You think you're measuring contribution. You're measuring conformity. And your best people? They've already figured out the game. They're just deciding whether to play it or find somewhere that values truth over comfort. _____ Like my content? Give me a follow. Want to see more of it? Click the 🔔 on my profile.

Over the past 20 years, I've had the opportunity to work with the world's best leaders. Here’s the truth I’ve seen across every industry, team, and culture: Emotionally intelligent leaders don’t fear criticism. Most people don’t struggle with criticism because of the words being said; they struggle because of the emotions those words trigger. They use it. They turn feedback into fuel. Here’s how you can handle criticism with emotional intelligence: 1) Don’t react Work on self-regulating. Pause for 2–3 seconds. Breathe. Let the emotional spike settle. Instant reactions destroy clarity. Regulated responses create it. 2) Separate the message from the emotion. Ask yourself: What part of this feedback is valuable? What’s not? Self-awareness turns defensiveness into insight. 3) Assume positive intent, even when it’s hard. Most people aren’t trying to attack you. They’re trying to be heard. This mindset shift can transform high-performing teams. 4) Get curious, not combative. Say: “Help me understand what you’re seeing.” Questions lower tensions; curiosity opens doors. 5) Take ownership of your part. Emotionally intelligent leaders reflect, adjust, and move forward. 6) Use criticism to grow your leadership presence. Every piece of feedback is data about: • How you’re showing up • How others experience you • How you can communicate more effectively Criticism is an opportunity reflect, grow and respond with confidence. If you want to lead with influence, trust, and emotional maturity, mastering this skill is non-negotiable. What’s one strategy that has helped you handle tough feedback more effectively? Follow me, Christopher D. Connors, for more insights on how to lead with emotional intelligence.

I stopped treating feedback like criticism and started treating it like free consulting. Because feedback isn’t about your worth. It’s about your blind spots. Most people waste feedback. They get defensive. They explain themselves. They ignore it. And then they wonder why nothing changes. ✅ How to treat feedback like free consulting (the real playbook): 1️⃣ Stop waiting for annual reviews. If you only hear feedback once a year, you’re already behind. Create your own feedback loop monthly, even weekly. 2️⃣ Ask sharper questions. Don’t ask “How am I doing?” Ask “What’s one thing I could do that would change the way you see me as a leader?” 3️⃣ Separate emotion from data. Feedback stings. That’s normal. But behind the sting is data. Extract it, use it, move forward. 4️⃣ Interrogate the source. Not all feedback is equal. Filter advice through one lens: Has this person achieved what I want to achieve? 5️⃣ Demand specifics. “Be more strategic” is useless. Push for examples. What did you say? What should you have said instead? Feedback without examples is noise. 6️⃣ Look for patterns, not one-offs. One person’s opinion is bias. Three people saying the same thing is truth. Patterns reveal where you need to act. 7️⃣ Stop explaining. The moment you start justifying, you close the door to honesty. Take it in, say thank you, move on. 8️⃣ Test it in real time. Don’t just collect notes. Try the new behaviour in your next meeting, pitch, or email. Feedback without testing is just theory. 9️⃣ Keep receipts. Document feedback and your response to it. When it’s time for promotion, you show the growth curve — not just claim it. 🔟 Flip the mirror. Give feedback as much as you take it. The best way to sharpen your own lens is to hold one up for someone else. We call it “feedback.” The unprepared call it “criticism.” The ambitious call it “an edge.” What’s the most valuable piece of feedback you ever received?

Struggling with team member who gets defensive to feedback? I feel you. It's really tricky to address. Here's the scenario (which is fictional and any resemblance to an actual person or event is purely coincidental): Your team member's attention to detail is poor, and they keep making errors. You want to help them improve, and you know you need to address it because it's impacting the team's credibility. But every time you bring it up, they get defensive, blame others, or make excuses. Where leaders often go wrong is that they double down on trying to solve the attention to detail problem. They approach it from all different angles, but get the same response each time. Instead, they need to identify the real problem which is (drum roll plz): defensiveness. You can't solve the attention to detail issue until you solve the defensiveness issue. So you need to switch gears and focus on that, which brings us to the messy part...How do you even address defensiveness? Step 1) Ask them how they like to receive feedback Before you have the conversation, ask them how they prefer to receive feedback so you can tailor it to be more likely to land well. Step 2) Speak to their goals Connect the conversation back to their career or personal goals and how defensiveness will hold them back from getting there. Talk about the impact of the behaviour and share examples of how it sounds and what it looks like when it shows up. 3) Spell out the behaviours you need more of: curiosity and ownership The antidote to defensiveness is curiosity. That's the first behaviour you need to build with this person. When people stay curious, they are far less likely to become defensive. The next behaviour is ownership. Invite the person to own their part and talk through what curiosity and ownership look like in practice. Sometimes that can sound like: Can you help me understand what you’re seeing? Can you give me a specific example? What would you like me to do differently next time? Step 4) Get future focused In the conversation, speak to the antidote behaviours you want to see more of in future. As they build more curiosity and ownership, the less defensiveness you'll see. #leadership #peopleandculture #HR

𝑻𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒆 𝒕𝒚𝒑𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔. 𝑶𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒈𝒏𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒖𝒏𝒍𝒐𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒎 𝒍𝒐𝒚𝒂𝒍𝒕𝒚. 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒄 𝑷𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒔𝒆𝒓 → Drops "Great job!" emails. No specifics. No impact. → Team feels unseen. Motivation flatlines. → 𝘍𝘪𝘹: Give specifics - “Your data dive yesterday uncovered the risk we avoided. That saved us weeks." 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑺𝒑𝒐𝒕𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝑯𝒐𝒈 → Takes credit publicly. Praises privately (maybe). → Top talent starts updating their LinkedIn profile. → 𝘍𝘪𝘹: Tag them first—"Thanks to [Name]'s insight, we pivoted before the deadline." Here's what happened when a manager did neither: His top performer quit. Not for more money. For feeling invisible. "I delivered results. He took credit. I was done being his ghost writer." 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑹𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒈𝒏𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝑨𝒓𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒄𝒕 (You?) → Builds systems: Weekly wins in standups. Peer shoutouts. Milestone celebrations. → Result? 2x retention. Innovation surges. → 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘺𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘮: Name one person's contribution every day - Out loud, With specifics. 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒕𝒉: Generic praise is noise. Specific recognition is signal. People don't leave because you didn't recognize them. They leave because you made them invisible. 𝑹𝒆𝒇𝒍𝒆𝒄𝒕: → Who on your team deserves specific recognition today—and what exactly will you say? → Which type are you today—and who will know you've shifted by tomorrow? Next week: 𝑮𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒕𝒉 𝑴𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒔𝒆𝒕 — fostering learning that sticks. 𝘗.𝘚. 𝘞𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘩𝘭𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴? → Subscribe on LinkedIn 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑰𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒓 𝑬𝒅𝒈𝒆 https://lnkd.in/gi-u8ndJ #TheInnerEdge #Recognition #LeadershipCoaching #ExecutiveDevelopment

Learn from my failure. When’s the last time you walked away from a business review knowing you nailed it? Quarterly reviews? Exec updates? Board meetings? You delivered, and you knew it landed. Not often? I've failed multiple times, including recently. And here's the thing: most reviews/presentations fail before they even start. Not because your content is wrong. Not because you’re unprepared. But because you’re focused on the agenda instead of the goal. The goals of the room. I’m constantly reminded that I can get better at this after every. single. presentation. The truth: they aren’t just about reporting on what’s been done. They’re about building trust, proving impact, and aligning with what actually matters to the business. And the best part? The skills you develop to deliver an effective review aren't just for the exec team, management team, or board meeting. They're the foundation that turns a Director into a CMO. And after my 100000th review, I'm still learning. Here's where I'm at today. A great business review should: 1. Counter assumptions & build credibility – Directly counter any assumptions that important tasks are not being addressed or mishandled. Show that leadership is in control and delivering on priorities. 2. Showcase metrics, not just words – Avoid overemphasizing areas the audience doesn’t value, especially when there are gaps in delivery elsewhere. Data beats anecdotes. Show progress, don’t just talk about it. 3. Invite constructive feedback – Create a venue for stakeholders to suggest areas they feel are overlooked or misprioritized. Alignment doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Bring the room into the process. 4. Make invisible work visible – If stakeholders don’t see it, they assume it’s not happening. Prove them wrong. 5. Demonstrate say-do alignment – “We said we’d do X. We did X. Here’s the result.” Set clear expectations for what will be done and when. So, before any major meeting, I remind myself: THE AGENDA IS NOT THE GOAL. Start with the goals, then shape everything else around it. I've finally built out my template for an effective business review, and I'm happy to share it. But remember, it starts with the goals, not an outline from some random LinkedIn connection. :) I'll also send my longer diatribe on running an effective review. Comment ✅, and I'll send it to you!

Here’s a reality check for retailers, customer reviews aren’t just nice-to-haves anymore. They’re your secret weapon. Remember when reviews were just star ratings, often ignored or worse, faked? If you told retailers five years ago that these little snippets would become their most trusted sales drivers, they might have smiled politely and moved on. But fast forward to today, reviews are the authentic currency of trust. Real customers, sharing real experiences. And it’s not just plain text anymore. Reviews have seriously leveled up. Now we’ve got video reviews, photos, unboxing clips, all that raw, real stuff customers post themselves. That’s the real game-changer. When someone can see the product in action or hear a customer’s voice, it cuts through all the noise. It makes the experience so much more relatable, and honestly, way more convincing. Let's be honest, it’s not enough to just collect positive reviews. The real skill, the one that separates great retailers from the rest is how you respond to negative feedback, especially when it’s out in the open. It’s tempting to ignore complaints or delete bad reviews. But addressing them publicly is an art. And I feel everyone should learn that. When done well, it shows customers you listen, you care, and you’re committed to getting better. And the returns will be quite huge. A public, thoughtful response can turn a frustrated buyer into a loyal advocate and send a powerful message to everyone watching. When shoppers see honest, detailed reviews — especially with photos or videos — it helps them feel confident about what they’re buying. It reduces hesitation, answers unasked questions, and creates that “I gotta have this” vibe. And the more reviews you have — good and bad — handled well, the more new customers you’ll attract. I’ve seen retailers lose customers by brushing off bad reviews, and I’ve seen others gain lifelong fans by owning mistakes openly. Trust isn’t built when everything’s perfect. It’s built when you’re honest, transparent, and responsive. So next time you get a negative review, don’t shy away. See it as a chance to build trust, not just fix a problem. Because in the world of retail, trust is the currency that moves the needle. What’s the best or worst way you’ve seen a retailer handle a customer review, did it make you a fan or a no-go? #retail #startups #reviews #marketing