TomCat502

Once upon a time, Stephen King novels and short stories were adapted to the screen and told by top notch directors using A-list actors. Fine performances and good films were created.

Then they got greedy and every novel was rushed to the screen, made by any available director and portrayed by anyone they could afford.

There are thankfully, notable exceptions(Stand by Me, Misery, The Green Mile) but most renderings have been terrible.

And here we are. Mary Lambert created several stylish music videos for Madonna, but I'm afraid her direction on Pet Semetary shows her inexperience.

Dale Midkiff, familiar for his appearances in cinematic and episodic television, mumbles and drawls his way through a very poorly drawn character.

Denise Crosby, the wife/mother, is a favorite of mine from Star Trek - The Next Generation (Tasha Yar). Perhaps she's a contract Paramount player and took this after her STTNG stint. She certainly does try to deliver, but it's not very effective within the confines of this slopfest.

Fred Gwynne is fine as the on screen narrator and is enjoyable until the end.

The child actors aren't all that effective. Even the cat leaves me cold.

The ending is just silly, and most everything leading up to it is dumb. Child's Play meets Psycho crossed with Night of the Living Dead.

Somebody made this and it was rejected by Tales From the Crypt. However, instead of leaving it dead in the ground, this film's production team dug it up and placed it in the pet semetary.

The rotten junk that crawled out is what we're forced to view.

3/10.

There, I wrote it. The inevitable comparison, this Hulk film isn't as good as the 2003 version. Ang Lee's film was flawed, with a horrible climax and too much ham from Nick Nolte. Flat acting throughout, the previous film still exhibited heart and intelligence, obviously planted by Ang's thoughtful direction. Even the emerald green skin color was preferable to the swamp green of the new version.

I really looked forward to this reboot, but I was disappointed. Even with an action flick, great acting is necessary to bridge the gap. Sadly, heavy hitters like William Hurt, Edward Norton and Tim Roth just don't get it done. Most of their failure has to be due to the uninteresting screenplay.

Liv Tyler is one of the most beautiful women on film, but there's no way she's credible as a scientist. She comes across more like a lovesick schoolgirl. Her lispy, and Norton's tinny vocal deliveries, combined with inane dialogue, makes their scenes together no more than fluff.

The action is decent, and the back story and buildup in the Brazilian factory are pretty good. I am tired of the super soldier plot device. Maybe it's fresh to moviegoers, but it's been over-utilized for 40 years in the comic universe. To me, a reboot would take a fresh approach to the gamma radiation.

Tony Stark's (Robert Downey) cameo was nice, but unnecessary. This Hulk has no business in an Avengers movie. Until the Hulk gets his proper treatment, he should not be rendered on film again.

I realize I'll be in the minority with my preference, but I've watched both films a number of times, and I always end up with the same conclusion.

This is one funny film. Those who just want to revile it for breaking all of society's taboos just need to get over themselves and laugh.

Borat comes across as an anti-Semitic, racist homophobe, but remember, folks, Cohen is ACTING! He's an actor, people. And he's a comic. He's supposed to tell dirty, offensive jokes. That's his vocation.

What's really offensive, yet hilarious, is the way the people in the US are exposed as the racist, homophobic rubes they really are.

And when I saw Borat and his traveling companion Azamat get into their hotel room wrestling match, I almost laughed myself sick. I'd never seen a display like that before, and I hope I don't again, but at the time I saw it, I thought my heart would stop. When this encounter spilled over into a real estate brokers convention, well, that was all she wrote.

Don't bother with this if you're an uptight airhead. You won't enjoy it. But if you enjoy laughing at jokes that play on others' inhibitions, well, you'll have a good time.