garybartzjd
Joined May 2009
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Reviews14
garybartzjd's rating
It is a Hallmark movie. Lead is an event coordinator who lost her job due to corporate shenanigans by her almost finance, and has her own business now. On a cruise to help her best friend and you tube star manage a 'lifestyle hack' and cooking show themed cruise-- with a jerk chef.
Love interest is on his first go try out as cruise director. The couple are married in real life and cute, and first nice antagonistic and then innocent flirty, as they work through job issues and have a little fun.
A third star is the ship, this was obviously a paid for movie for the second largest and the longest cruise ship in the word. It shows off lots of great stuff about the ship.
As a light fun romance, and love letter to a great and new ship, this was great. Enjoy it with a shrimp pasta and a few rum drinks.
Love interest is on his first go try out as cruise director. The couple are married in real life and cute, and first nice antagonistic and then innocent flirty, as they work through job issues and have a little fun.
A third star is the ship, this was obviously a paid for movie for the second largest and the longest cruise ship in the word. It shows off lots of great stuff about the ship.
As a light fun romance, and love letter to a great and new ship, this was great. Enjoy it with a shrimp pasta and a few rum drinks.
Sci Fi robot vs augmented human movie with gun fu and kung fu.
The best way to describe it is to describe the first 15 minutes. There is a very very long scroll describing a long and involved back story. Then the credits start, inter spaced with a shot of a hill in the desert and nothing happening. Finally there is a girl in an alley, and she hears gun shots. In the building is an older actress in black business attire with high heels and a mini skirt, who is "shooting" at a combat robot. Except the guns were toys off a discount rack and the actors were flicking the guns towards each other and they put in cheap effect in post. Then the actress slow runs over and beats the robot with weird spark effects.
Then a long voiceover where the child actress describes a bunch of back story that may have been interesting to see, about living with the older actress.
The older actress disappears and the movie appears to start with a scene where the child is now 20, and is seducing another woman only to shoot her in the head without earning, and we learn through terrible computer effects that she is a death bot. A second set of credits start. Not joking. At least as long as the first set of credits.
That ends finally, with two women in weird blond wigs and red sex outfits slow walking doing the same weird gun flick shooting, with even worse special effects, as the child now adult character walks slightly faster than them to get away, and a cut to the simply worse TV movie version of a news cast ever.
All with terrible yellow filters on 90% of the shots. It is all so bad. The acting was like a bunch of middle school kids playing with a camera phone making a movie to pass an afternoon
The best way to describe it is to describe the first 15 minutes. There is a very very long scroll describing a long and involved back story. Then the credits start, inter spaced with a shot of a hill in the desert and nothing happening. Finally there is a girl in an alley, and she hears gun shots. In the building is an older actress in black business attire with high heels and a mini skirt, who is "shooting" at a combat robot. Except the guns were toys off a discount rack and the actors were flicking the guns towards each other and they put in cheap effect in post. Then the actress slow runs over and beats the robot with weird spark effects.
Then a long voiceover where the child actress describes a bunch of back story that may have been interesting to see, about living with the older actress.
The older actress disappears and the movie appears to start with a scene where the child is now 20, and is seducing another woman only to shoot her in the head without earning, and we learn through terrible computer effects that she is a death bot. A second set of credits start. Not joking. At least as long as the first set of credits.
That ends finally, with two women in weird blond wigs and red sex outfits slow walking doing the same weird gun flick shooting, with even worse special effects, as the child now adult character walks slightly faster than them to get away, and a cut to the simply worse TV movie version of a news cast ever.
All with terrible yellow filters on 90% of the shots. It is all so bad. The acting was like a bunch of middle school kids playing with a camera phone making a movie to pass an afternoon
The filmmaker tried to do Canterbury Tales, only with a group of fellow victims of UFO people.
But the tales were not well done--there were flashes of well done scenes and acting, and literally in the next minute it would be grade Z level acting in over the top story line/plot changes that made no sense, even in the context of a UFO story.
There is a torture scene that was supposed to be serious and girl empowering, but was just a weird farce of movie torture scenes from good action or drama films.
Not to do spoilers, but there is a last minute plot twist that was so silly and poorly done I felt dumb for not turning the movie off earlier.
But the tales were not well done--there were flashes of well done scenes and acting, and literally in the next minute it would be grade Z level acting in over the top story line/plot changes that made no sense, even in the context of a UFO story.
There is a torture scene that was supposed to be serious and girl empowering, but was just a weird farce of movie torture scenes from good action or drama films.
Not to do spoilers, but there is a last minute plot twist that was so silly and poorly done I felt dumb for not turning the movie off earlier.