Blooeyz2001

It's no mystery why this movie was a flop. I've watched it more than once & I never feel like I'm watching a film about author Jacqueline Susann. Just a movie starring Bette Midler (in a dark wig) playing Bette Midler, or a standard Midler character. It's obvious Midler did no research into Susann to portray her. There is plenty of footage around (game shows, talk shows, etc.) where Midler could have studied her a bit. She adopts none of her mannerisms, speech, anything. I think Midler's ego & persona are so gigantic, she just isn't equipped to play a real person. She was fine in "The Rose", but she wasn't actually playing Janis Joplin, just an over-the-top singer loosely based on her. I don't know why she even bothered with this?? I don't know enough about Irving Mansfield to make an opinion of whether Nathan Lane's characterization was effective or not, but as a whole his character was watchable. Stockard Channing was very good as friend Florence Maybelle (a hybrid of different people). But I would have preferred to see Susann's friendship with Doris Day displayed instead. You know a movie's in trouble when the plot's so thin, they toss in a useless fashion show. Another silly aspect of the movie is that the producers tried to make it look like a movie based on one of Susann's novels (Dionne Warwick theme song, bright jelly bean colors, etc.) This is like a slap in the face to Susann who hated the movie versions of her books. I give it three stars for costumes, sets, automobiles, Stockard Channing, & it's attempt at camp value.

I wasn't expecting much & I got even less. Watch this movie if you enjoy looking at a bunch of useless, selfish, snarling brats mouth off & sabotage their parents goals & aspirations. This film pulls out as many clichés as it can. We've seen all of this before. It's so boring! Like a too long, awful sitcom. Bonnie Hunt really annoys me, & Steve Martin is as tired as the day is long. His schtick is way past it's expiration date. Another thing that irked me was casting Tom Welling & Ashton Kutcher who look too similar. The laughs are non-existent & the "feel good" moments will make you nauseous. Check out "With Six You Get Eggroll" (with Doris Day), or "Your's, Mine, & Ours" (with Lucille Ball) instead.

The movie starts off with the somewhat obscure Earl Grant sounding like the popular Nat King Cole as he croons the film's theme song. The star of the film is Lana Turner (dismissed by some as a studio invented "movie star") playing a serious stage actress. Then we get wholesome Troy Donahue, playing a dirt-bag, beating up the black character Sara Jane (played by white actress Susan Kohner) for pretending to be white in the plot. Annie's (Juanita Moore) death scene is so long it emotionally drains you. Then, once Annie has finally plotzed, there's a shot of a very goofy looking photo of Sara Jane at Annie's bedside smirking. This is sort of a wake up call that it's "only a movie" & the last laughs on you for shedding tears & getting wrapped up in all of this. All my observations aside, this is a great melodramatic soap opera. Mahalia Jackson's vocal performance, at Annie's funeral, is a high point! John Gavin is very pleasing on the eyes! My only complaints are 1)That annoying, sickening sweet dimwit character Suzy, played by Sandra Dee. Most, if not ALL of her scenes are hard to stomach! 2)Sara Jane wanted all the benefits & advantages of being white, yet opted to sing in that "low down dive" Harry's Club for a bunch of leering old goats. That never made any sense to me.