Rock of Ages (2012)
Russell Brand: Lonny
Photos
Quotes
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Sherrie Christian : He's better than Concrete Balls.
Lonny : That's a good point, Concrete Balls are very heavy.
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Dennis Dupree : Shit! Our opener just dropped out.
Lonny : Concrete Balls?
Dennis Dupree : They're in rehab.
Lonny : Both of them?
Dennis Dupree : There's six of them!
Lonny : Jesus, that band's got a lot of balls!
Dennis Dupree : Betty Ford had a group rate.
Lonny : Do you think they do therapy individually, or in pairs?
Dennis Dupree : Knock it off!
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Lonny : Drew... what's the name of your band, mate?
Drew Boley : Wolfgang Von Colt.
Lonny : ...and you're sticking with that are you?
Drew Boley : Yeah...
Lonny : [to audience] Please welcome to the stage very poorly titled Wolfgang Van Colt!
Drew Boley : ...Von Colt.
Lonny : [to Drew] It's not an improvement.
[to audience]
Lonny : Wolfgang VON Colt!
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Lonny : Why is everybody quitting today?
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Lonny : [to Drew] You beautiful bastard.
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Lonny : [rubbing a microphone on his crotch] Sniff the mic!
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Crowd : Stacee! Stacee! Stacee!
Lonny : Ladies and gentlemen are you ready to rock? Welcome to the famous Bourbon Room on the Sunset Strip... Stacee Jaxx and Arsenal!
Stacee Jaxx : Hey Los Angeles! This is a little song called "Paradise City"!
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Lonny : [looking at Patricia Whitmore] Now look at him, married to a woman who looks like she's been hibernating in Margaret Thatcher's bumhole.
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Lonny : [playing "Donkey Kong" arcade game] No! Nobody puts Donkey in the corner!
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Lonny : [to audience] Performing on this stage later will be none other than Stacee Jaxx!
[crowd cheers]
Lonny : ...but first! Making their debut on the Bourbon stage, the less important, but still somehow worthwhile...
[uncrumbles piece of paper and reads from]
Lonny : ... Z Guyeez... z?
Lonny : [shrugs] Eh, sure, give it a whirl I suppose.
