- Principal Skinner: We're not coming down until you acknowledge and celebrate our love!
- Maude Flanders: Excuse me, Edna. I don't think we're talking about love here. We are talking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!
- Krusty the Clown: Sex Cauldron? I thought they closed that place down!
- Ralph Wiggum: Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me!
- Chief Wiggum: The baby looked at you?
- Mrs. Krabappel: As you know, Bart, one day your permanent record will disqualify you from all but the hottest and noisiest jobs.
- Lisa Simpson: Bart, how come you're not sick?
- Bart Simpson: Eh, I gave my oysters to the cat.
- [points to the sick cat]
- Bart Simpson: Hey, why'd you eat them? I thought you were a vegetarian.
- Lisa Simpson: I didn't. I just wanted to leave.
- Superintendent Chalmers: I'm a public servant, Seymour, I'm not allowed to use my own judgement in any way whatsoever.
- Principal Skinner: Is this how you imagined your life, Edna?
- Mrs. Krabappel: Well, yes, but then I was a very depressed child.
- Agnes Skinner: I collect pictures of cakes that I clip out of the magazines. It all started in 1941 when "Good Housekeeping" featured a photo of a lovely cake.
- Bart Simpson: You wouldn't happen to have any real cakes around here, would you?
- Agnes Skinner: Oh, my, no! I don't care for cake, too sweet. Now, this is called a Lady Baltimore cake.
- [points to a picture]
- Agnes Skinner: At my age, I don't have much saliva left, so you'll have to lick my thumb before I can turn the page.
- [holds her thumb up to Bart]
- Bart Simpson: Oh. Can't I just turn the page for you?
- [reaches for the page]
- Agnes Skinner: [slaps Bart's hand away] No! But you can pick out any picture you want to take home with you.
- Bart Simpson: Okay... that one.
- [points]
- Agnes Skinner: [slaps his hand away again] No! You can't have that one! That's a COCONUT CAKE!
- Chief Wiggum: [Principal Skinner, demanding that his relationship with Mrs. Krabappel be respected, exits the school with what looks like a bomb strapped to his chest] Wait a minute... that isn't a bomb! Those are hot dogs! Armor hot dogs!
- Superintendent Chalmers: [shaking his head] What kind of man wears Armor hot dogs?
- Sideshow Mel: [dressed as a caveman with a bone through his green hair] My opinions are as valid as the next man's!
Contribute to this page
Suggest an edit or add missing content
