The Weather Man (2005)

Michael Caine: Robert Spritzel

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dave Spritz : We both just think it's better for the kids.

  Robert Spritzel : David, sacrifice is... to get anything of value, you have to sacrifice.

  Dave Spritz : I know that, Dad, but I think that if we continue down this road, it's gonna be too detrimental for the kids. It's just too hard.

  Robert Spritzel : Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. "Easy" doesn't enter into grown-up life.

• Robert Spritzel : This shit life... we must chuck some things. We must chuck them... in this shit life. There's always looking after.

• Robert Spritzel : I read your book.

  Dave Spritz : Fuck. I was gonna do, some more work on it, then I chucked it.

  Robert Spritzel : You chucked it?

  Dave Spritz : Garbage.

  Robert Spritzel : I-it's just what I do, David, I've practiced and I've gotten good. Like you and the weather business.

  Dave Spritz : But I don't predict it. Nobody does, 'cause i-it's just wind. It's wind. It blows all over the place! What the fuck!

• Dave Spritz : Why are you here, anyway?

  Robert Spritzel : I came to talk to Noreen about an issue concerning Shelly.

  Dave Spritz : Well, you can talk to me. I'm her parent, too. So? What?

  Robert Spritzel : Shelly dresses in clothing not appropriate for her... clinging stuff.

  Dave Spritz : All kids wear... Dad, it's a different generation.

  Robert Spritzel : They call her cameltoe.

  Dave Spritz : What?

  Robert Spritzel : Are you aware of that?

  Dave Spritz : What?

  Robert Spritzel : That her colleagues call her cameltoe.

  Dave Spritz : What are you talking about?

  Robert Spritzel : It means the crease in her vagina that they can discern through her clothing.

  Dave Spritz : What?

  Robert Spritzel : Cameltoe.

• Russ : Dave, step back right now.

  Dave Spritz : Fuck you right now.

  Russ : Fuck you, Spritz.

  Dave Spritz : Fuck you, fat asshole! Dildo!

  Robert Spritzel : David, what are you doing?

  Dave Spritz : I'm talking to my wife! I'm talking to Noreen, and this clown whose business this isn't.

  Russ : You call me a dildo, it is my business, Spritz.

  Dave Spritz : You *are* a dildo, pork fuck. You porker!

• Robert Spritzel : What happened to you?

  Dave Spritz : I got hit with a Frosty.

  Robert Spritzel : Why did you get hit with a Frosty?

  Robert Spritzel : What is a Frosty?

  Dave Spritz : It's a shake. From Wendy's.

  Robert Spritzel : Why did you get hit with a shake?

• Robert Spritz : What is this sucking and chucking and jacking of fucking up, son? He's 15 years old! What is this shit?

• Robert Spritzel : Where's the paper, David?

  Dave Spritz : I didn't have enough money.

  Robert Spritzel : You bought a coffee...

  Dave Spritz : [mishearing]  What?

  Robert Spritzel : You bought a coffee.

  Dave Spritz : Yeah, that, and then I didn't have enough money after.

  Robert Spritzel : What?

  Dave Spritz : I didn't have enough money after I bought the coffee, so...

  Robert Spritzel : [slightly annoyed]  You should carry more than a dollar, David. You're a grown man!

• Robert Spritzel : [Robert Spritz drives up]  Weatherman!

  [Dave prepares to be hit with food] 

  Dave Spritz : [Dave gets in his father's car]  Hey.

  Robert Spritzel : Hi.

  Dave Spritz : Are you all right?

  Robert Spritzel : Yeah. Umm, I just wanted you to...

  Dave Spritz : What?

  [Robert Spritz begins playing Bob Seger's "Like a Rock"] 

  Robert Spritzel : I don't really get it. Am I following it?

  Dave Spritz : It was just a lead-up to other things I wanted to say. Here's the part.

  ["... And I held firm to what I felt was right, like a rock..."] 

  Dave Spritz : I wanted to talk about that part... about you. That's like you.

  [pauses] 

  Dave Spritz : I got the job.

  Robert Spritzel : New York?

  [Dave Spritz nods his head yes] 

  Robert Spritzel : That's terrific. That's a remarkable income. That's more money than I ever made, that salary.

  Dave Spritz : Yeah.

  Robert Spritzel : That's quite an American accomplishment.

  Dave Spritz : Thanks.

  Robert Spritzel : Are you OK?

  Dave Spritz : I can't knuckle down. Noreen's marrying Russ.

  Dave Spritz : There's nothing to knuckle down on, so... I can't fucking knuckle down.

  Robert Spritzel : Your hand...

  Dave Spritz : I just saw Mike's counselor.

  Robert Spritzel : Mike mentioned that you were gonna fix this business up. He's in no trouble?

  [Dave shakes his head no] 

  Robert Spritzel : Good job. Your hand OK?

  Dave Spritz : It's OK.

  Robert Spritzel : You certain?

  Dave Spritz : Don't worry.

• Lauren : How's Shelly?

  Dave Spritz : She's doing great.

  Lauren : Little angel!

  Dave Spritz : Yeah, she doing great...

  Robert Spritzel : [comes downstairs]  Who's an angel?

  Lauren : Shelly...

  Robert Spritzel : Shelly is grossly overweight and unhappy. I'm concerned about her, as I am Michael. David?

  Dave Spritz : Yeah, Dad...

• Robert Spritzel : Dildos and more fucking?