- Jeetu: [Jeetu wants to meet Anjali and casually asks for water] Can I get a glass of water?
- Radheysham Tiwari: No, there is no water in house for 3 days. I am drinking coffee and this is last cup
- [in the middle of a fight Radhesham finds his servant, Pandu and realizes that his servant lead him into a lot of troubls and ran away with the excuse of his fathers death]
- Radheysham Tiwari: Pandu,
- [catching his collar]
- Radheysham Tiwari: your father died right? Now his son will die!
- Anjali: Here are my certificates.
- [She shows her certificates, with the hope of getting a job from the rich Radheysham Tiwari]
- Radheysham Tiwari: Oh, let me see!
- [Excitedly grabs her file and browses through her certificates]
- Radheysham Tiwari: You have done M.A. Oh, you have done B.A. too!
- [Anjali looks at him with shock]
- Radheysham Tiwari: [Quickly covering up] It was a joke! Give me five!
- Adv. Chandrakant Sahai: [Reading the crime news section] Citing money as the motive, a married couple was assassinated. Suspect house-help arrested.
- [Taunting Neena Kulkarni]
- Adv. Chandrakant Sahai: Did you just hear this ? And whenever I told you to do the household chores yourself, you called me a miser. Here read this. You'll go to sleep on your bed but would wake up in hell.
- Renuka Sahai: [Replying sarcastically] Yeah right, as if I am living in paradise here with you.
- [Greeting Akshaye Khanna upon seeing him on the doorstep]
- Renuka Sahai: Oh, Jeetu. You're back home.
- Adv. Chandrakant Sahai: [In continued sarcasm, thinking Akshaye Khanna has come to ask for money] Well well well, the speed at which you exited this house gave a feeling you wouldn't even look back at the door. What transpired ? Empty pockets reminded you of free food served here ? Go ahead, have a couple of bites. But you ain't getting a penny as far as money is concerned.
- Jeetu: [Taking it casually] Daddy, I am here to seek your blessings and gift you sweets. I've finally started a new business venture.
- Renuka Sahai: [Delighted] Really, what business is it dear ?
- Jeetu: Well Mom, it's about CD players, TVs and other usual electronics. It's a big showroom.
- Renuka Sahai: [Concerned] So it must've costed quite a lot of money, right dear ?
- Jeetu: Yeah Mom, I deposited 750 thousand and another 6 million was loaned by the bank.
- Adv. Chandrakant Sahai: [Shocked] 750 thousand ? How did you get so much money ?
- Jeetu: Come on Dad, it's you who guided me the right way to do it.
- Adv. Chandrakant Sahai: [Confused] What way did I guide you ?
- Jeetu: Remember you told me to commit theft or burglary. I did it.
- Adv. Chandrakant Sahai: [Shocked] What ?
- Jeetu: [to Neena Kulkarni in a happy tone] Mom, come here, I'll explain how I did it.
- [Giving a comical explanation to Amit Divatia and Neena Kulkarni]
- Jeetu: I found out there was a lot of money in a household. The couple was deep asleep. I snatched the keys from under the pillow, took the money out of the safe and made my way out. How's that !
- Adv. Chandrakant Sahai: [Scared] By now they must've informed the police as well.
- Jeetu: [In further hillarity] Come on Dad, they haven't even come to know about it yet.
- Adv. Chandrakant Sahai: [Completely frantic] But which house did you rob, son ?
- Jeetu: [In a delightful voice] This very house Dad. Remember you acquired 8 million bucks from the sale of the land back in the village. I took the money from it.
- Adv. Chandrakant Sahai: [Furious] You backstabbed your own father you SNAKE !
- Jeetu: [Defending himself in a comical tone] When I asked for it with decency, you didn't give a damn. Instead told me to go commit theft. Now, how on earth can any son disobey his own father, right Dad ? Besides, all the money from the sale was black. Call the police. We'll both serve prison term together.
- Adv. Chandrakant Sahai: [In a comically hapless voice] Renuka, please tell me the truth, is he really my son ?
- Renuka Sahai: [Replying with equal hilarity] Now I've no doubts whatsoever that he's indeed YOUR son.
- Adv. Chandrakant Sahai: [Pleading with Akshaye Khanna] You're Dad's ever shining child aren't you ! You love your father more than anything. So please return him his money.
- Jeetu: [In a straight forward yet funny tone] I am afraid that's not possible.
- Adv. Chandrakant Sahai: You're sure ?
- Jeetu: Of course.
- Adv. Chandrakant Sahai: [Furiously pushes Akshaye Khanna away] Then get the hell out of my house once and for all.
- Jeetu: [Accepting the fact] That's what I am here for anyway.
- Renuka Sahai: [Praying to God after Akshaye Khanna has left] Ohh Lord, please protect my son.
- Jeetu: [Slam opening the gates of Paresh Rawal's house and shouting] Anjali, I am come just for you.
- Radheysham Tiwari: [Alarmed at Khanna's arrival and checking Shoma Anand's bedroom realising she's taking a bath] Thank God, she's inside. Better not let her out.
- [Bolts and locks Anand's bedroom]
- Jeetu: Anjali, finally I am here to liberate you.
- Radheysham Tiwari: [Receiving Khanna at the doorsteps] Who the hell is it ?
- Jeetu: You forgot me so quickly and easily !
- Radheysham Tiwari: [Mocking Khanna] Oh yes. My CD player, television, everything's running first class. So please leave.
- Jeetu: [Pleading with Rawal] Sir, please don't force me. I request you. Just bless Anjali
- [Referring to Rimi Sen]
- Jeetu: and see her off.
- Radheysham Tiwari: [Misinterpreting Anjali as Shoma Anand] Such a pity. Don't you city dwellers have a pint worth shame before saying things like these ?
- Jeetu: A girl and a boy love each other, what's shame got to do with it.
- Radheysham Tiwari: [Shocked] Girl ?
- Jeetu: [In a stern tone] So you think of her as an old lady or what ?
- Radheysham Tiwari: [Misinterpreting further] Now I get it. You're eyeing Anjali's lavish wealth. Come on, speak the facts, how much would you take to leave Anjali alone ?
- Jeetu: [In concealed anger replying to Rawal] Don't dare measure the value of love on the balance of money Tiwari.
- Radheysham Tiwari: [Ridiculing Khanna] Shut up bhikhari
- [meaning beggar]
- Radheysham Tiwari: . I've prestige in this country and the world at large, what've you ? You must've just said a couple of romantic things to fool her and she too must've just flinged her hair making you go crazy after her. But mark my words, she ain't leaving me for a slacker like you.
- Jeetu: [Furious] Is it so, then bring her down here grumpy. I want to hear it from her own admission.
- Radheysham Tiwari: [In continued ridiculing] I've asked her millions of times and she's denied she's to do anything with you.
- Jeetu: [Losing his temper] You're lying you scoundrel. I am saying again, I want to hear it from her. If she says what you're saying, I'll live breeding only half a moustache.
- Radheysham Tiwari: [Angrily] For that you first need a moustache like I have, right here. And she isn't coming to you. Now get the hell out or I am calling the cops.
- Jeetu: [In equivalent anger] Cops ? Even the entire military cant keep two lovers apart.
- [In a hunch]
- Jeetu: And I know very well you've locked my Anjali upstairs.
- Radheysham Tiwari: [Completely confused] How the hell did you come to know about it ?
- Jeetu: What else can you do Tiwari. Get out of my way or I'll be forced to break open the doors.
- Radheysham Tiwari: [Covering the door with his body] For that you'll have to first walk over my corpse.
- Jeetu: [Taunting Rawal] Let it be Radheyshyam, enough is enough. If I don't rescue Anjali within the next 24 hours, then my name isn't Jeetu From Videocon.
- Radheysham Tiwari: [Taking the challenge] Start finding yourself a new name as early as possible then.
- Jeetu: You've 24 hours Radheyshyam, if you got guts, try and stop me.
- [Leaves]
- Jeetu: [Upon arriving at Paresh Rawal's house, in a serious tone] Yes Tiwari, you called me up, I am right here.
- Radheysham Tiwari: [Reading the letter Akshaye Khanna had written for Rimi Sen and dropped in Rawal's house in a stern voice] Have you written this no good Majnoo fairy tale which says "My Anjali.."
- Jeetu: [Interrupting Rawal] Yes, I've written it.
- Radheysham Tiwari: [Furious] And you did this despite knowing the consequences ?
- Jeetu: [Admanant] Yes I did.
- Radheysham Tiwari: [Sarcastically] Now since we've come to this point, kindly tell me how much do you love Anjali.
- Jeetu: [Responding with passionate anger] Anjali is my beloved. You wanna hear it again ?
- Radheysham Tiwari: [shouting out for Amit Divatia] Advocate Sir, did you hear that ?
- Adv. Chandrakant Sahai: [Steps out of the bedroom with Neena Kulkarni and gets shocked seeing Akshaye Khanna] You ?
- Jeetu: [Equally shocked] Dad ?
- Radheysham Tiwari: [With added sarcasm to Khanna] Well, you're the crop of this field, brilliant. Now I've no qualms whatsoever. When the godown is such, showroom is meant to be the same afterall.
- Adv. Chandrakant Sahai: [On the defensive] Well, boys do commit mischiefs citing youthful ignorance. But women of the household too should know their limits.
- Anjali Tiwari: [Furious at Divatia] You better watch your tongue Advocate Sir.
- Renuka Sahai: [Taunting Shoma Anand] Great, just coz the truth's in the open, everyone's feeling the heat, right Anjali Ben.
- Adv. Chandrakant Sahai: [Mocking Rawal] No matter what my son's character be, he's still better than you. You yourself are unaware how many offsprings of yours are running around in the city.
- Anjali Tiwari: [Angrily confronting Khanna] Hey you, did I EVER say that I've been in love with you ?
- Jeetu: [Shocked] Obviously not. I am talking about his
- [referring to Rawal]
- Jeetu: daughter Anjali.
- Radheysham Tiwari: [Shocked and confused] What ? My daughter ?
- Anjali Tiwari: [Crying] You've a daughter too outside my knowledge ?
- Radheysham Tiwari: [shouting] He's lying. I don't have any other daughter or son.
- Anjali Tiwari: [Almost fainting] I think my head will burst.
- [Interrogating Rawal]
- Anjali Tiwari: Tell me the truth, how many children do you have outside my knowledge ? You're literally like your name Radheshyam. You conducted a personal Raasleela in this city.
- Radheysham Tiwari: [Frustrated] How many times do I need to say, he's lying.
- Jeetu: [Angered at Rawal] It you who's lying. I dropped her at this very house each day from office, Saale Sasur !
- Radheysham Tiwari: [Both angry and sarcastic] Hey, first be clear whether it's a Saala
- [meaning wife's brother]
- Radheysham Tiwari: or a Sasur
- [meaning father-in-law]
- Radheysham Tiwari: .
- Adv. Chandrakant Sahai: [Trying to clear the confusion] Leave everything aside, where's that girl right now ?
- Jeetu: [Putting allegations on Rawal] Dad this guy
- [referring to Rawal]
- Jeetu: has hidden her somewhere to save his own skin.
- Anjali Tiwari: [Completely mad at Rawal] My god, is this guy really human or a demon !
- Adv. Chandrakant Sahai: [Balancing the argument] Is there any way we can contact the girl otherwise ?
- Jeetu: [Calming himself down] Yeah, I've her friend's number she once gave me.
- Adv. Chandrakant Sahai: Good, call her here, right now.
- Radheysham Tiwari: [Frantically] Yes, call her here immediately.
- Raja: [Reaching Welcome Lodge's reception after discharge from hospital] Manager Sir, I need a room ? Is there any available ?
- [When shown signboard asking "Single or Double"]
- Raja: Whichever is the best one. Once I enter, I shouldn't feel the necessity come out and the bathroom should facilitate both urinal and stool
- [Accidentally breaks Razzak Khan's cups upon turning]
- Raja: . Oops sorry.
- [Responding to the signboard asking his name]
- Raja: Yes, Raja
- [Suddenly recalling he has to hide under an alias]
- Raja: No, it's Tulsidas Khan
- Babu Bisleri: [Shocked upon hearing the name] Tulsidas Khan ? What kind of a name is that ?
- Raja: [Irritated by Razzak Khan] Shut up you goon.
- Babu Bisleri: [Puzzled] What's your father's name ?
- Raja: [Giving absurd replies] Javed Chaurasia.
- Babu Bisleri: [Further confused] And your mother's ?
- Raja: [Continuing to be absurd] Mumtaz Devi.
- Babu Bisleri: [Thinking Yadav is a lunatic] Are you human or the Indo-Pak border ?
- Raja: [Furious at Khan] You annoy me more and I'll beat the hell out of you.
- [Interrupted by the manager with the signboard of the rent]
- Raja: I'll pay everything. Just kindly provide me the keys, I desparately need to piss and if anybody asks for me, tell them I am not here
- [Runs upon being given the keys]
- Babu Bisleri: [Noticing Yadav left behind his umbrella] Ohh he left his stuff.
- Raja: [Returns to the spot to reclaim his umbrella] Hey that's mine.
- Babu Bisleri: I'll have it sent to your room.
- Raja: [Sarcastically] No need to take the pain.
- Babu Bisleri: My name's Babu Bisleri.
- Raja: [Teasing Khan] So, I should take a bath using you.
- [Runs away, reaches his room and thinks to himself in a scared background voice when opening the locks]
- Raja: I can't trust anyone. All these guys are definitely hand-in-glove with Chhota Chetan. Anjali, why did you do this to me.
- [Crying]
- Raja: Why ?
- [Enters his room and shuts it]
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