- lyrics: Lonely as a child- you were wet, you were wild. You were... selfish. Crying out late at night with your covers pulled up tight- you were... helpless.", and, "Fear me! Fear me!
- Dana Kimmel: Look guys and gals, the only way to save our school scholarship fund is to put on a rock musical- we can all be performers and we can all use my Uncle's barn!
- Victim: This is bizarre... this is worse than bizarre!