The Independent (2000)

Jerry Stiller: Morty Fineman

Photos 

Quotes 

• Morty Fineman : [eulogy]  For what does it gain a man to be given that divine candle, and not to dip his wick.

• Morty Fineman : [concluding his corporate presentation]  That, gentlemen, is why financing Fineman Films is fine financing.

• Morty Fineman : How long is the wait?

  Maitre d' : You may wait as long as you wish...

• Interviewer : [quoting critics]  An insipid, childish, even maniacal work. Someone please tell Mr. Fineman that The Whole Story of America does *not* have to be as long as the whole story of America.

  Morty Fineman : Those who cannot do, review.

• Morty Fineman : [to potential producer]  I tell you Walter, I've been in this business 30 years and there's only one sure-fire way to make a small fortune - start with a large fortune.

• Interviewer : Wow, you invented the sequel?

  Morty Fineman : Well, I invented the roman numeral at the end of the title. You see God Father III, Friday the 13th part VII, that started with me.

  Title Card : World War III II, a Fineman Production.

• Morty Fineman : [to adoring fans]  I believe the true measure of a man is that which he thinks of himself. Back straight, shoes off, head high. It doesn't guarantee you a tall man, but at least you get an accurate measure.

• [last lines] 

  Morty Fineman : Now remember people what we're trying to say here... You gotta help me. You gotta feel it... Action!

• Morty Fineman : Ivan, how long have you worked for me?

  Ivan : Since I was 16.

  Morty Fineman : And what did I tell you about persistence?

  Ivan : The difference between the flying ant and the regular ant is that the regular ant never tries to fly.

• Morty Fineman : Ivan, how long have you worked for me?

  Ivan : Since I was 16.

  Morty Fineman : And what did I tell you about appearance?

  Ivan : Buy a glass eye. Not because you are blind, but because others can see.

• Morty Fineman : Ivan, how long have you worked for me?

  Ivan : Since I was 16.

  Morty Fineman : And what did I tell you about loyalty?

  Ivan : Milk the cow 'til it's dry, then make hamburger and wallets.