- Rose: I don't give a damn. People are always saying 'The children. Pity the children'. I'm tired of the children. They haven't lived, given birth, watch their friends die. I have invested 80 years in this life. The children don't know what they're missing.
- [Patrick needs one of Craig's cars]
- Patrick Wheeler: You have two others!
- Craig Zwiller: It's a collection; they're antique cars. Two old cars is not a collection! It's a guy with two old cars.
- [Referring to sex at the end of the world]
- Craig Zwiller: If you are going to be going...
- Patrick Wheeler: Might as well be coming.
- Patrick Wheeler: I don't want to risk having bad sex today. I don't want it to be the last thing on my mind.
- Radio DJ: We've reached number twelve on the top 500 of all time, according to... me, alright? So don't bother calling in. This time, it's my choice.
- Patrick Wheeler: I think maybe I should mention before you make any faux pas here, that we have a tradition in this family, that we don't kill other people.
- Patrick Wheeler: What I do find pathetic is people who, as soon as they hear that the world is ending, they rush out and try to hook up with someone like it was closing time at Studio 54.
- Grandmother: [after she and Rose have been watching hours of home movies shot by their children] When did they think they were going to watch all of this?