- Chorus: [series theme song] Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, heroes in a half-shell - turtle power! They're the world's most fearsome fighting team! They're heroes in a half-shell and they're green! / When the evil Shredder attacks, these turtle boys don't cut him no slack! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Splinter taught them to be ninja teens! / Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines! / Raphael is cool but rude! / Michelangelo is a party dude! / Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, heroes in a half-shell - turtle power!
- [Raphael and Michaelangelo are tied up back-to-back in chairs with a bomb next to them]
- Raphael: We're Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! We oughta be able to escape from a cornball setup like this!
- [Raphael notices Michaelangelo rocking side to side]
- Raphael: What are you doing?
- Michaelangelo: Well, I once saw this movie where this dude was tied up and he just kept rocking back and forth 'til he fell over.
- Raphael: It's worth a try.
- [Raphael rocks side to side with Michaelangelo and they soon fall over]
- Raphael: Great! Then what did he do?
- Michaelangelo: I dunno. I went into the kitchen for some popcorn.
- Leonardo: [Turtle Tips on organic gardens] Even small gardens help to refurbish the soil.
- Donatello: Yeah and these plants will help clean the air we breathe.
- Raphael: And it makes great organic pizza, if you're into that kind of thing.
- April O'Neil: Who ordered the tomato, asparagus and kiwi special?
- Michaelangelo: Oh yuck. Dudes, if we're growing pizza toppings, how about organic marshmallows?
- Rocksteady: Ooooh yuck! It looks like what the water looks like after my bath!
- Shredder: Hey. When was the last time THAT happened?
- Rocksteady: Ooh what year is this?
- [goo splat]
- Rocksteady: I think it's the year my bath is due!
- Shredder: Come along, you two.
- Rocksteady: Oh, all we ever do is go up and down, up and down!
- Krang: Sounds like the perfect job for a couple of yo-yos. I made a funny.
- Rocksteady: You sure this gonna give us them powers?
- Shredder: Of course. Although you may have a little trouble getting a date on Saturday night.
- Rupert The Turtle: When that thing gets close to capacity... Kabloo-hoo-hoo-hooey!
- All: Kabloo-hoo-hoo-hooey?
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