Le Dîner de Cons (1998)

Alexandra Vandernoot: Christine Brochant

Photos 

Quotes 

• Christine Brochant : Was he taking you to a dinner party?

  François Pignon : Yes. Did he mention me?

  Christine Brochant : Even if he hadn't, I would have guessed.

• Pierre Brochant : Good evening, Doctor.

  Christine Brochant : Fix him. He has an important dinner tonight.

  Pierre Brochant : Christine!

  Christine Brochant : An idiot dinner. Each regular has to bring an idiot.

  Pierre Brochant : Christine, please!

  Christine Brochant : The idiots don't know why they've been picked. The fun is making them talk.

  [sarcastic] 

  Christine Brochant : Hilarious! Not to me, so I'm leaving. Good night, Doctor.

  Pierre Brochant : [as she leaves]  Sorry. I called you to fix my back, not my marriage.

  Sorbier : Can I wash my hands?

  Pierre Brochant : First door on the left.

  Sorbier : In college, we used to invite ugly girls. The ugliest one got a prize.

  Pierre Brochant : Yes, we did that, too. But idiots are funnier.

  Sorbier : But less definite.

  Pierre Brochant : Some idiots are quite obvious. Mine's unmistakable.

• Christine Brochant : You asked him here?

  Pierre Brochant : To study him before dinner. I hear he's fabulous.

  Christine Brochant : I'll leave you two together. Enjoy!

  Pierre Brochant : Where are you going?

  Christine Brochant : I have a dinner, too. I didn't want to go, but...

  Pierre Brochant : Dinner with whom?

  Christine Brochant : [hearing the doorbell]  Is it him? I don't want to meet him.

  Pierre Brochant : No, it's the doctor.

• Christine Brochant : Did you cancel your dinner?

  Pierre Brochant : [putting ice on his back after pulling a muscle]  My God, that's cold!

  Christine Brochant : So, did you cancel?

  Pierre Brochant : A sore back needs heat.

  Christine Brochant : Dr. Sorbier said ice.

  Pierre Brochant : You reached him?

  Christine Brochant : In his car. He'll be here soon.

  Pierre Brochant : Great. I need a drink. A splash of scotch.

  Christine Brochant : [going to pour his drink]  Did your sore back make you deaf?

  Pierre Brochant : No, I didn't cancel.

  Christine Brochant : You're still going to that sinister dinner?

  Pierre Brochant : It's great fun. You think it's sinister; don't sulk just because I enjoy it!

  Christine Brochant : Come on. Stay with me. You know I'm not feeling well.

  Pierre Brochant : So come with me for a change. You'll have a blast.

  Christine Brochant : Making fun of some poor guy?

  Pierre Brochant : But he's an idiot! Idiots are fair game.

• François Pignon : Miss Hissister! This is for you. We spoke on the phone. Aries, with Gemini ascending. I dialed your number by mistake. Then I realized you're his girlfriend.

  Christine Brochant : His girlfriend?

  François Pignon : Yes. Sorry I was a little confusing. But it's very simple. His wife left him, but he doesn't care. He's asleep and can't be disturbed. Got that?

  Christine Brochant : Perfectly. I'll have a word with him.

  François Pignon : Marlene! May I call you Marlene?

  Christine Brochant : Please.

  François Pignon : I haven't known him long, but I understand him. So take my advice.

  Christine Brochant : I'm listening.

  François Pignon : Give it time. His wife just left, so don't rush in. Be the sensuous, amusing mistress you are, all garter belts and champagne. Keep on seeing him three to four times a week, wait for your turn. He'll fall when it's due.

  Christine Brochant : He said he saw me three to four times a week?

  François Pignon : I felt he'd see you every day if he could. So don't insist. Go home, it's your best move.

• François Pignon : My wife left me two years ago. That day, my life was shattered. I survived by making my models, but deep down, I'm still a wreck. I wish that on no one, not even your husband.

  Christine Brochant : Is he there?

  François Pignon : What?

  Christine Brochant : He's feeding you the lines of this moving drama?

  François Pignon : Mrs. Brochant, I swear it was my idea to call you. He fed me nothing.

  Christine Brochant : Is he beside you?

  François Pignon : No, madam, I'm in a phone booth.

  Christine Brochant : He doesn't love me. He loves no one.

  François Pignon : Mrs. Brochant, for two hours, I saw your husband try to find you. He even called Pascal Meneaux, who was in the arms of a woman who wasn't you.

  Christine Brochant : He called Meneaux?

  François Pignon : He did. You can't imagine what he did out of love for you. He made up with his best friend, dumped his girlfriend. He even braved a tax inspector! He tidied up his whole life, in an exemplary way. Now he's alone in his big apartment, mixing alcohol and pills. I'm worried about him. I know one can die of love, Mrs. Brochant.

  Christine Brochant : I'll think it over. Thanks for calling, Mr. Pignon.

  François Pignon : Don't mention it. Goodbye, Mrs. Brochant.

  Christine Brochant : Goodbye.

  François Pignon : [hanging up]  She'll call back.

• Christine Brochant : [in the hospital after a car accident]  Who is this?

  François Pignon : I'm your husband's idiot.

  Christine Brochant : What?

  François Pignon : We briefly met. My name's Francois Pignon. I'm your husband's idiot for that dinner.

  Christine Brochant : I'm listening.

  François Pignon : I just found out why I was invited, and I'm in a state of shock. You were in a crash, and so was I! Hello?

  Christine Brochant : Yes, I'm here.

  François Pignon : I'm not calling because I feel sorry for myself. I feel sorry for him. He may not be the meanest of men, but he's the unhappiest. I heard you tell him not to visit you. He was so lost, so miserable, that I forgot I was the idiot and decided to call.